Rummycat

I quit my job a week ago. I was supporting a proprietary industrial control system that was, as of six months ago, going to be phased out.The job was turning out to be a dead-end. This job represented a big change in pay and I was able to squirrel away alot of money in savings. This job also was teaching me new skills and entrusted alot of customer relation aspects to me to figure it out and make it work. I liked that aspect and received regular feedback that I was able to satisfy customers while resolving complex technical issues with out-in-the-field technicians. The company troubles started when the founder of died. A few days after he died, the R&D dept. (for our next gen controller) was axed. They had just finished final testing and were about to start field testing with clients who were willing to participate. I can not make business sense of the timing. After this happened our engineers and higher up managers basocally stopped coming into work except for a couple of days out of the week. Things were looking really bad and our customers were starting to stop engaging with my company. It seemed like this company was nearing the end of the road, everyone knew it but nobody would talk about it or address the problems with the company. We woukd always get the fake corporate double speak of "great changes" and "just about to turn the corner" while doing nothing different or having a plan of recovery. Anyways, months ago I let my boss know that I was looking for new employment and my boss surprised me by saying he was as well but not to tell anyone. I said I would let him know when I found a new job. Well things kept deteriorating and people started getting petty and stressful. Every molehill was a mountain. I finally had to quit because the stress was way too much. Now Im getting nightmares about conflicts between my old boss and a different nightmare of being stuck in Japan due to a massive volcanic eruption. How do I make these stop? Im already under alot of stress and its very difficult to have a normal sleep cycle. I need to study and focus because I would like to make my resumé look better with some technical certifications.

This really made my day! Thank you!

My question is as follows. Why do I hear things like "Pedophilia naturally follows if you allow homosexuality," or "homosexuality causes pedophilia"? Full disclosure. I am bisexual but am living in a homosexual relationship. I grew up in a Catholic household and did missionary work of my own volition in the Philippines. I have since realized that the threat of endless rape and torture inflicted upon those who disagree with an invisible and all powerful being doesn't really allow you to have free will. It is a psychological gun held to my head. So in the most recent video, The Catholic Church Built Western Civilization | Duke Pesta and Stefan Molyneux, at 26:00 Duke Pesta talks about determinism and how our genes determine who we are. He goes on to say that there is a movement to declassify pedophilia as a mental disorder just as homo.... (sexuality) (yes he didn't finish the word but it seems to follow.) This made me recall several discussions I have had with friends and family a long time ago. Homosexuality between two consenting adults requires no initiation of force. Pedophilia must initiate force in order to have a "relationship" in the same way that rape is a relationship. No matter how much people will try and manipulate their "arguments;" a child has a severely limited concept of what sex, relationships, commitment, love, and reproduction fully entails. They also lack the ability to effectively decline an advance and have agency. Therefore they cannot fully consent. Please let me know if I am off-base but this seems like the most simple explanation. I feel physically ill and angry when I hear these things talked about side by side as if they are interchangeable or similar. Pedophilia is evil and violates the non-aggression principle. Frankly, nothing pisses me off more than the idea of a child being abused. Why do people make the argument that pedophilia and homosexuality are somehow similar? That is basically saying rape and love making are similar. Moreover why do people make the case that Homosexuality encourages the destruction of children's innocence and well being? I have heard people try to use pedophilia in order to demonize homosexuality and use homosexuality to try and legitimize pedophilia. I despise both threads of sophistry. How do I fit this into my brain? Is there something I am not getting? Am I mistaking the world for myself? What do I do with these feelings of disgust and rage? How can I make them productive? Are my arguments sounds? What am I not considering? Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much for your response. Most of what you are saying makes sense. I'm not sure if I am quibbling too much when I say correct a couple of things. But I feel that I would be self censoring if I didn't get it out in the open. At least if I do get these out there, It can be brought to my attention that I would be quibbling. (Honestly I feel as if my biggest problem right now is feedback from a sane "tribe.") 1 My parents were evil and I feel as if Christianity compounded that and made it worse. Just punishment is good and holy and purifies the soul. God Corporeally punished therefore Corporeal punishment is good. They reassure themselves with complete and total iron clad ignorance of only surrounding themselves with the fire and brimstone types. (i.e. severely dysfunctional people who also happen to be attracted to those parts of Christianity.) God is a Big Righteous Republican ready to punish the whole world because of the gays and porn. Where were the good Christians to at least bring some resistance or push-back on these lunatics? These are the same people who are now claiming that a lack of God is destroying civilization never pushed back against what really matters. (sorry it is a bit of a generalization, but it’s how I think about it) I know my parents are the source of this rage but I can't but help feel angry when hearing about the virtues of Christianity. In my life there were as present as love and affection for my youth, rare to non-existent. 2 They were really only nasty and asinine to their kids. I was the oldest boy, in a family of 5 boys and two girls. I don't know if it is assuming to say that I bore the brunt of their abuse. I feel as if I did. My parents were passionate about one thing and one thing only, being the best catholic and making the best catholic friends. Funny how they made all these friends but kept all their "virtue" to themselves and their circle. Obviously on some level this would be admitting their values were crap. My parents were really Catholic savvy, could argue theology until the sun came up and portray themselves as very holy Catholics. Why?! Why couldn’t the champions of virtue and beacons of light not seen through this charade? 3 Some of these steps I have taken. Therapy, I am working on. I listen to Stefan and other such sources as much I can. I want to go to therapy but I am trying to be independent from everyone I ever knew for obvious reasons. Money is extremely tight but I am working my ass off right now at a tech company that has huge ambitions and I think they stand a pretty decent chance at dominating the market. So therapy is definitely going to happen, but it is going to have to wait for now. I have honestly conveyed to my parents how I felt growing up. All they give me is the usual excuses. “Hindsight 20/20” was the closest I think I will get to an “apology.” Quite frankly, I don’t really feel like pursuing a relationship with these people. One big issue is that, at about 20, I realised I had bisexual inclinations. So them being hardcore Catholic, and me being…. well..., I don’t really see this working out. I don’t think that a time traveling Jesus could convince them to change. Frankly I don’t have the patience to continue a relationship with self serving supposed zealots for Christ. I honestly feel like I would rather live on the street than take a slim penny from them ever again. If someone can make them sane, fine. I don’t think I can do it. I can’t fix crazy. I am putting them in my rearview. I gave them the option of contacting me if they want to have a real conversation and talk about things openly. They have yet to call me. At some point I will change my number and move on. This was incredibly lengthy. If you have made it this far, you have my sincerest thanks. If you are inclined to send me feedback, I would greatly appreciate it. I don’t have all the answers and I don’t have much contact with people of self knowledge, philosophical backgrounds or just some damn honesty. Thank you for your sympathies. I really do mean that. I do feel like Christianity is partially to blame as well. But again, my atheistic alternative.... mostly comprised of statists. Present company excluded. I have been to numerous christian bbq's, of which i did manage to have some positive experiences from, but have yet to go to an atheistic bbq where people talk about shit that matters, rather than getting drunk off their asses. Honestly, I think it would be great if I saw more of "my people" trying to get together half as much as Christians do.

I just watched the "How Feminism Destroyed Europe." I'm not quite sure what to make of it. I can't stop thinking about it and I'm wondering why something like a peaceful conversation could make me feel so anxious and upset. I came from a very conservative religious household. My ACE score was 4 and I absolutely hated my parents. I remember wishing, at 12years old, for my father to die in a car crash because I was tired of being hit with a belt, berated, and screamed at. My mother was pretty much the same as him only not nearly as frightening to me. As an adult, she is just as much at fault for being a horrible person to bring me into this world to be a trash bin for their insecurities and frustrations to be dumped into. Needless to say, I have problems with self confidence and being certain of anything. These days, I start to seethe with anger, contempt, and frustration when I hear someone extol the virtues of their unproven faiths. I can't stand listening to someone talk about the virtues of faith and how secularism leads to death and destruction. I am not the kind of atheist who enjoys making fun of religious groups nor do I feel like I scream at other people who are religious. But, this visceral anger rages inside of me. I'm sure it comes from my childhood and the people that abused me as a child and made me feel like crap. At the same time, I know that not all of Christianity and other peaceful religions aren't inherently evil. But these are the people that said "god is good, god is love, Catholics are the beacon of truth and light in the world," and all the while making me feel like I was worthless and evil. What must I do to overcome this? I get that video is about waking Europe up and trying to turn back the tidal wave of blood that will expunge all that western civilization has fought and died for. How can I subdue this anger or help it find its real target?

Yes. Making lots of headway by discussing that some of her treatment of me and my siblings were quite foolish and harmful. I haven't recieved a heartfelt sincere apology about how I was treated at a younger age. She is listening to reason and evidence presented with some resistance but not an unhealthy amount, I have hear her to admit that spanking is harmful to children and if there is a better way to raise children, then it must be embraced. I still have alot to learn but what little I do know, I will keep sharing. My commitment to uncomfortable conversations with friends and family will not waver! But I will do so in a fashion that is managable and keeps my self interests a priority. Basically I see this reaction as a response to her being delighted by virtues being utilized, which, I think, leaves people with a feeling of elation when they aren't used to virtue. For now I see it as progress. I will continue to share the truth and stand for virtue where ever I can. I thank you so much for your comment and the video. Any help I can get I appriciate. I passed along the video through e-mail. I am kinda shooting in the dark when it comes to peaceful parenting because I am not quite well versed on this topic.

I am extremely happy right now and I don't know who to tell. This made me really happy and I hope it will do the same for you. THE BACKROUND: My mother raised me catholic and was not a peaceful parent. I have been listening to Freedomain radio at an increasing rate for about 3 years now. I have been sharing my findings and treasures that this show provides through Peaceful Parenting. My mother has an Ace score of about 8 but I have an Ace score of 4. So credit where credit is due BUT! I am still having the uncomfortable conversation about spanking and how there are alternatives that don't brutalize children. I have gotten my mother to sit down and watch some of Stefan's (and staff) presentations on peaceful parenting and we had a very civil discussion about the truth about spanking. The biggest problem for me and my mother is that her default position is yelling. Damn reason and evidence, appeal to verbal force when I see something I don't agree with. About two weeks later I receive a call from my mother very much out of the blue. She is currently directing a production of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat." I pick up the phone and she sounds very nervous but excited. That is very much out of character for my mother. She asked if I had a second or if I am busy, again something she has never asked me. I told her I had plenty of time, "whats up?" She asks me the following question. "Hey Paul, What is it when kids listen to you when you stop yelling and them and you are being quiet and patiently wait for them so you can begin rehearsal?" This hit me like a ton of bricks. I am by no means an expert but I tried to tell her as much as I could about what I have learned from the show. I began explaining to her that children are very reasonable and how nobody wants to listen to someone who is constantly yelling. I began to make analogies how I've had bosses that scream and yell, and I don't listen to them until they stop screaming. I further explained that Children like to emulate the adults in their life. Therefore if you are an adult who screams and yell, children will scream and yell. I told her that I'm very happy and proud that she is trying a new way to interact with children. I told her to let me know how the results turn out. To be clear, I'm very happy that I proved to myself that virtue has tangible results. Those children will hopefully have a brief relief from brutal parenting culture. Before this incident, I resolved to myself that I will have "uncomfortable conversations" with everyone I can and who has ears to hear it. Today it paid off for me. It may be underwhelming to some, but any movement towards a world that doesn't brutalize children is a joyous occasion for me.

I appriciate the understanding and help that you are giving me. So this may be the most retarded question ever posed, but how exactly do you journal? I think of it as a log book that you record stuff that happened in sequential order. Does journaling mean simply just owning a journal and writing in it or is it anything that helps you get out bad feelings?

I appriciate the help. I know there are things I can do, but I'm tired of making the wrong decisions again. I have an obligation to pay the rent and that I need to get a job right away. The problem is, I also have to get through school so that I can broaden my job field. I have to take 12 units a semester which is alot for me. My parents took me out of the public school system in the first grade and put me into an extremely difficult homeschooling curriculm with heavy handed catholic doctrine. Not only was it difficult but they offered little to no help and would yell at me for not doing things I couldn't grasp. I did learn to read and write and have tested very well in reading and writing (english stuff). Taking a full load of courses and trying to hold down has proved beyond what I can do in the past. I have been sent to therapy by my parents in the past and my advice was, "Your depression is off the charts but I think you just need to move out." Which I did and it helped by giving me an out from my insane family. I can't afford anything right now as I don't have a "legitimate" paying income. I am on MediCal (by default since california automatically enrolled me) and can possibly seek help through that, but it limits my options to what the state decides I need AND I will be using funds stolen from productive people. I made the mistake of taking a deskjob that didn't challenge me. I worked for the laziest assholes contractors that mooch off another company and have even been caught embezzling I came to find out after I stopped working there. After three years I have been in and out of that job and I need something better but haven't been able to find anything better. I have a feeling that if I take another entry level job ("would you like fries with that" kinda thing) I will get stuck in another dead end job just to pay the rent. I am currently short on rent and what money I do make is given to my roomates. I know I am capable of more, but I can't find an oppourtunity. I have looked into creating my own but those plans have fallen apart as well. I feel horrible that my roomates have been letting me stay where I am after two months of coming up short with the rent. I feel horrible that am a burden on my artist boyfriend who's income in what little he can get off of commissions and some help that his father sends him from time to time. But I'm ready to act on this feelings of guilt and the mire that is my shitty past choices. I need a starting point I can throw myself at so I can be productive again.

I've been listening to Stef and listen to him about 20 hours a week for 6 months. I need some help or information.I'm currently underemployed. I left an unsteady, off and on, dead-end job of 3 years and decided to go back to school. I have been going to school to obtain a degree in psychology. My father is a disabled veteran and in California that means I get to go to schools tuition free. (I know I'm not entitled to have this but I don't have many other choices to broaden my job market.) I'm bisexual and in a relationship with a man that I care about on an emotional level and would like to make it permanent. He feels the same way and we have been together for 4 years. I live in an appartment with roomates who are steadily employed but are easy to appease their ego's but are rather devoid of any real morality and depth. I don't have a single flicker of hope or passion for anything in my future right now. I don't have a support system of friends or family that I can depend on (other than my boyfriend of which I feel guilty about.) I'm fat because I'm a stress eater and I have alot of internal stress. I don't have a great personality and people seem to gravitate away from me. I know this is wrong for me to be like this for so many reasons. I have a feeling or a thought that if I had a paying career I can throw myself at, it would solve the majority of my problems since I feel the root of all this is the helplessness. I feel that if I take on another entry level job I will stagnate myself again. I can't however come up with an alternative. I need a starting point and maybe a perspective change. How can I be more empirical with my approach or thought process so I can move forward?

I've been following Stefan for almost a year now on facebook and youtube. I think its time for me to take a more active part in this community. I am seeking knowledge in all aspects of life. I'm 26, male, living with my boyfriend and 2 roomates. I am currently looking to start my own business or business venture. I have recently returned to college after leaving a dead-end job after 3 years. A bit about myself. I was spanked as a child. I was yelled and screamed at and called names by my parents. I was told that being a catholic is the only thing I was brought into this world for and I should rejoice in misery and suffering. If I didn't comply I would burn in hell forevermore and all the nonesense that goes along with the compassionate religion of Catholicism.Needless to say, I need to retrain my brain, reform my logic, and my life. I have lots of questions and I hope to learn alot from this community. I'm committed to living a peaceful life and greatly desire to live in a world that is ruled only by, personal responsibilty, volenteerism, and emperical truths. I'm just starting to wake up from living in wonderland for 22 years and really would like to live in a sane world.