Shea Roberts

Hi A4E, First, thank you for taking the time to check out my channel and videos. Especially as many as you did. And thank you for being honest. That is what I need. I started doing these from scratch so I've been learning as I go along. Perhaps I just don't have that "it" factor to be entertaining on videos. It's weird because I have no issue with that at my job which requires a bit of entertaining with the teaching. Perhaps it's some mental block but I just cannot seem to be that way while doing videos. Every video I make seems to take a while to record and I do numerous takes. But honestly, on videos like the Hulk Hogan or other videos, I was not really taking it seriously and was just having fun. But when you brought up about making a point in my flagship video, see this is where I get confused. I spent lots of time on that and felt really good about the end result (other than the numerous cuts I had to make) but I felt I put forth my case well. And to hear that I didn't make a point at all was kind of shocking to read. Perhaps I just don't see it? Am I just blind to making a good argument or even seeing it? I really want to know as that is what I am really striving for. I've always been interested in video making and even made a short film in college that got quite a good response from the class and professor. But it seems I lost something in between. Anyway, thanks for the feedback. I'll mull over it all honestly and see what I can do.

I never understood why cities with that sort of problem don't just make public bathrooms more available. I know a city like SF would be opposed to a private company doing such a thing (heaven forbid!) but at least this seems like a creative way of combating the problem.

Hi all, Not sure where to put this, so I figured Misc. would be the best choice Also, I hope it doesn't come across as shameless self-promotion either. I've been making youtube videos for a while, and I think that I haven't gotten much better at expressing my true thoughts on what I want to say. I live in Japan, so my channel is mostly about my life here. I often find that when I do more opinion based videos that I have trouble expressing my thoughts and I have lots of pauses, ums & uhs, and ramble or lose my train of thought. I thought this would get better over time, but it doesn't seem to have. So therefore I end up editing my videos down so much that they are full of jump cuts just to be able to understand what I'm trying to say. I'd like to get some honest feedback about some videos on there if anyone would be so kind. The channel is: http://www.youtube.com/user/shearoberts My latest one is a bit of a change in direction and one that is much more self-knowledge based. It addresses some of the issues I've mentioned here. Again, any honest feedback is welcome. I'm in the process of upgrading my computer, so hopefully I can increase the production values a bit more in the near future. Thanks Shea

Most of the time when my girlfriend and I go out, we both pay our fair share. Sometimes one of us might be short or give a bit more than usual due to what denominations we have in our pockets. The only time I'd say it's appropriate for one person to pay exclusively for the other is if it is a pre-planned intentional thing. Like a gift you're giving that other person. Also, I've found much more enjoyment cooking for her as opposed to going out. Reasons being are it's cheaper, it's more intimate and I just enjoy cooking and getting better at that. But no one should be "obligated" to pay for the other based on gender. It comes down to the two people in the relationship.

The call-in shows are often full of comedy gold nuggets. The banter between Michael and Stef has me chuckling a lot. I can tell they're good friends who's senses of humor play well off of each other. It was actually George Carlin that originally got me to question religion, and therefore question everything else in my life which has led me to where I am today. I first saw one of his comedy bits on late night TV (HBO) back in the mid 90's. At the time I was a naive little kid who did what he was told and believed in god. I happened upon a bit that was critical of religion (I think it was the one about the old man living in the sky who will torture you, but he loves you) and I had never heard of anything like that before in my life. I felt shocked and ashamed to even hear it. So I turned off the TV. But about 10 minutes later I turned it back on and watched the rest. The rest is a slow deconstruction of my beliefs and thinking for myself. I'm sure I would have eventually gotten to that point, but I credit Carlin for introducing it to me.

I was born and raised in Texas. Texas is good for no state income tax & cheap real estate. However, there are lots of religious people in Texas and while they may appear friendly to outsiders, it's all very superficial. They would sympathize with you on government control over taxes and what not, but by no means ever mention anything to do with drug legalization, opposition to the military, or general talk of "anarchy" of any kind. They're the other side of the coin of the nanny-state liberals, the nanny-state conservatives who feel they need to control what you do in your personal life. For example, in my home county up until the year 2008, you could not buy alcohol of any kind (including beer and wine) at any establishment other than restaurants or bars. Now only beer and wine is sold in stores (hard liquor you have to travel out of county to border liquor shops). And even then, you cannot purchase it "any time". You can't buy on Sunday's before noon. That is the actual law in Texas. All because you should be in church instead of boozing it up on Sundays. But it's all very hypocritical as most of the churchies still drink in their private life, but condemn it publicly. But, I see more and more libertarians among younger people, so within a few generations it might be ok.

Hello everyone, I apologize for being absent from the discussion for so long. But I have been consciously observing myself when having conversations. And while I have caught myself going on a bit too much or giving information to people that wasn't asked (not advice, just something random) I have noticed that I am doing this less frequently. Kurtis, I agree with you. I remember when I would tell stories to my mom, or tell her something new I learned, it was often met with a response that would be "Well, you think you're just so smart, don't you?" or a look of why I would tell her that. And she wonders now why we don't talk much or have much in common as adults. She was never really curious about me as a person. And it's not to say it was just her, but most of the adults in my life were like that. It wasn't until I got into university I believe that I met professors who took an earnest interest in what I had to say. Or at least they acted interested in it and gave some feedback. So it might be one of my inner child selves that is seeking recognition and approval by dominating conversations. But I think I've also come to terms that I can't have great conversations with everyone, and there are some people I just really don't want to talk to. I've reduced my interaction with these people to bare minimum and it's helped me focus on more important people in my life and conversations. Still an ongoing process, but after hearing feedback, writing in a journal a bit about it, and just being aware of it in the moment has really helped in the past month. Thank you all for the feedback and suggestions!

Thank you all for the replies! I'm going to work through many of them as best I can. Hmm, I really don't have any specific conversations. It's more of me observing the situation as it's happening. The conversation often times ends with me. There was a time some years ago where a "friend" of mine (I put that in quotes because looking back on it, she wasn't much of a friend) was having issues and I, as her friend only, offered some advice and she shouted back that I wasn't her father. That was the first real indication that perhaps I talked more than listened. I can't recall if she ever asked for the advice, but I thought it was appropriate based on her tone of voice. Either way, after that I distanced myself from her and haven't been that close since. I was often alone as a child because my parents divorced when I was nine, and my brother went to live with my dad. So it was just me and my mother from that point on until I was around 15 or so. But even before all of that, my dad was just sort of distant and didn't really talk to me much. My mother was the type that she was the adult and my opinion really didn't matter. I've always been opinionated about something but she never really bothered to care about what it was. Even now, she seems to listen but the topics I talk about she just shows no interest in whatsoever. More recently, we've found a common interest to talk about so that is nice, but up until then there wasn't much there. My ideas about life, religion, etc. are largely opposite of hers, so instead of being curious about why I felt the way I did, she just sort of dismisses it or denies it. Thank you. I do know that I need to be curious about others and ask more questions, my problem is that impulse of injecting my thought into something is where I stumble. The person will say something that I feel I can relate to, and in some way I think saying that I have a similar story or can relate in some way is an attempt at forming a connection or empathizing with them. Thank you for the suggestion. I will look into writing or recording a journal. I know I have lots of opinions, and I want to get better at expressing them, so perhaps this is a way I can do both. Have you found recording or writing to be more beneficial? I will try both and see what works for me. I've often found my writing skill is better than my verbal skills. 1. I have had situations where I have successfully held back my thoughts, and nothing bad happened. However, at the time I was more focused on not expressing the thought than listening to what was being said. This was in a group situation however so it was a bit easier to hold back. 2. I feel as I do ask more questions now, but anytime they give an answer, I let them finish and then inject my thoughts. I am now practicing witholding my thoughts until they ask me about my opinion on the matter. 3. I do ask questions, I don't believe there's ever a time where I completely dominate the conversation but I'd like to reduce it to 50/50. I guess I'm making progress in that regard. 4. Most of the people I am around are co-workers these days, and all seem to be decent conversationalists. I've found I don't have much in common with many of them, but a few I feel I can share a discussion with. 5. Not really. Some do, and those are the ones I find it easier to talk to. It's weird, the ones where I find more common ground with I don't seem to have a problem. I will say though, that talking to my best friend back home (I live in Japan, they're back in the States) usually involves me talking a lot though. We hardly ever talk and while we do share our opinions back and forth, I tend to talk more in that case. Perhaps with the time apart, the stuff I want to talk about just builds up and the dam bursts when we finally connect. He never complains though, but I will work on letting him speak more. We email back and forth regularly and it's more 50/50. 6. Not so much now. I've heard it in the past from people, but not in recent years. Perhaps they're trying not to be rude and don't want to say it, but I find people will sometimes just not respond to what I say. They sort of just nod their head and change the topic or end the conversation.

When I was younger, I was very shy and didn't have many friends, nor did I talk much. People always said I was really quiet. As I've gotten older and more confident I have apparently gone in the opposite direction. A few years ago, before I actively started pursuing self-knowledge, people sometimes said I talked too much. I've noticed that I happen to talk about myself or things in my life a lot as well. I'm in a weird place where I know what I'm doing, but I have difficulty not doing it. I know the key to having a good conversation with people is empathy and active listening, but I find myself just anticipating when the other person finishes so I can give my two cents on the matter, no matter how trivial. Is there any way to fix this? I've tried going "silent" a few times and only responding to people, but I always end up back to jabbering away at some point. I really don't want to be either silent, nor hog conversations or turn it to myself. It's weird because it only affects my personal life really. When I'm in a professional setting I don't seem to talk about myself too much unless asked. I thought perhaps a solution is to view my personal life as a business setting, but then I don't feel authentic. One of the first books on self-knowledge I read was "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie, and it has only helped me become self-aware of how much I do talk about myself. I've used a lot of the advice in the book, but it seems to only help professionally and not personally. As a result I still have few friends that I'd consider close. Does anyone have any past experience with this or advice on what I can do? I know I need to ask questions and be genuinely interested in others, but that impulsive itch to talk always creeps up and it's hard to stamp out when it does. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Very interesting. I work at a Japanese kindergarten myself, and a lot of that is true. Japanese culture is very structured from childhood all through into the adult world as well. It's almost very cult like, but the society does it on the whole. Thank you for providing this study.

I'm from the area, but I currently live in Japan at the moment. Good to see some other FDR folk from the DFW area though!

I'm curious if anybody here has heard of or plays Ingress? Ingress is a mobile online game currently for Android phones (I think there's an iPhone version coming soon) where it integrates the real world (via Google Maps) into an online game. You are an agent fighting for either the Resistance or Enlightened factions. Real world objects such as stone monuments or landmarks act as "portals" that your faction must claim and protect (sort of like a Capture the Flag/King of the Hill sort of game) and you can combat or team up with other agents to attack or protect your portals. It's an interesting concept that augments reality into a game. What I like about it is, it encourages you to go out and explore the real world to claim your portals. Here's the wikia on it: http://ingress.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page

I was aware of libertarian views before I read the books, so I could spot them in the novels quite easily (especially in Faith of the Fallen) but I found them to be fascinating reads. He never got too "preachy" with it I thought and it transitioned well into a fantasy setting. I like the "Wizard Rules" in each book and the theme they set for each one. I might re-read the series at some point, just to revisit the series. I've heard Goodkind has released a second story arc as well? As of now, I don't really have the motivation to get started with the novels again (still waiting on ol' GRRM to get Winds of Winter out), so lately I've just been reading a lot of history/philosophy books to break it up a bit. It's weird though, that I've heard this series and the author bashed by those who are anti-libertarian as well as libertarians and anarcho-capitalists for different reasons. Obviously to an anarchist, Richard Rahl isn't a hero as he still promotes a state in which he is the ruler, so there's the argument I see from them. But leading as an "enlightened ruler" fits well into the narrative I believe.

I had the same apprehensions when I first started getting into FDR. I liked hearing what Stefan had to say on the Rogan podcast, and did more research and listen to a few FDR podcasts. As with anything of interest, and especially a personality like Stefan, I did a google search of "stefan molyneux criticisms" and read what was out there. However, while there may be some who follow him at every word, I have found that Stefan encourages people to disagree with him or to try and find errors in his logic. He says do not take him at face value. Think for yourself and evaluate the arguments. This doesn't sound like a man who wants to gain blind followers. People agree with his ideas because they admire the way he reasoned them out. The amount of time and effort put into FDR is quite astounding, and definitely speaks of a person who takes themselves very seriously. I'm weary of any charismatic persona, especially one that deals in the realm of morality and ethics. But put the ideas to the test, and use your own reason and judgement. Open discussion is good and while Stefan does have a legion of fans, they are fans for good reason. I am curious as to what other topics are introduced and not treated fairly.

Thank you all for the replies and insight. TimotheCook's was especially enlightening. I've been reading through RTR and it is helping a bit.I enjoyed the podcast on boredom the first time through, but it was worth a second listen. I've found just discussing the topic with others and getting your feedback has helped me tremendously. It's interesting, TimotheCook, that you mention about active and passive roles in conversation. In the past, I've been a passive person, so it could be a coping mechanism to have some sort of dominance, I suppose. I know I hate being interrupted, because even if it is unintentional on the other speaker's part, I feel they are trying to shut me up and don't care about what I say. Perhaps I've developed the same strategy as to not be steamrolled myself anymore. I've noticed in many cases when passive people start to become more assertive that they can overcompensate and seem to swing in the other direction. I've noticed this about myself in many areas. Being bullied and made to feel inferior to others built up over time and when I got a bit of confidence I started to dominate in certain areas. It's not that I really find others boring really, perhaps I just don't share a lot of common interests with people. I've felt this way my entire life. Even with people I considered my best friends growing up, we had a lot in common, but there were things I liked that no one around me seemed to like either, or even understand why I liked it (and now that I think about it, they never really bothered to dig deep into why I liked these things). I've always hated verbal conflict, and while I've gotten better at handling it, I still get a sort of irrational "seeing red" feeling if someone challenges me on something (not minor things, but if work I've done is attacked, or if they try to undermine me in front of others). It seemed that while I'm normally well spoken and intelligent, I get extremely defensive if people attack me. I used to take everything personally, even if it was not. Again, I've gotten a lot better at recognizing the difference between legitimate constructive feedback and verbal abuse. When other people talk about themselves, I often am interested for a bit but soon lose focus and my mind tends to either think of other things or something that I can say in response to them (without having let them finish first). When it comes to giving unsolicited advice, it's usually just to people younger than myself. For example, I have a co-worker who is 4 years younger than I am who has problems getting a girlfriend. He's a "nice guy" and never takes anything beyond friendship level with women. He doesn't understand how to build sexual attraction. And while I am far from perfect in that realm myself, because I've been in his position before, I want to tell him what works and what doesn't work and how he should talk to girls. Keep in mind he always brings up the topic of how he can't get women. He doesn't ask for advice but I always start my response with having been in his shoes and here's what I learned. He doesn't seem to believe me much or just kind of is like "yeah, I guess". It almost seems like a waste of time, so I've really just given up talking to him about it. I don't know if he was just not wanting to listen, or didn't like the fact that I was giving him advice without being asked. Perhaps that's a long way of saying that I don't trust him in particular with solving his issues, because I had at least had girlfriends by the time I was his age, so I felt he needed help. If that makes any sense? If all of this sounds like bullshit, please let me know, these are just my thoughts. Thank you all again for the helpful responses!

Hello everyone. This is the first time I've posted publicly about this so I hope it'll make some sense. I've come to realize that when I engage in conversations with people, whether they be friends, co-workers, family members, etc. that anything that they say I respond in a way that relates to something I did, or I experienced. For a long while I did not realize this about myself, but over the last few years I've been pursuing self-knowledge and trying to work on many aspects of my life. While I wasn't an only child, my siblings were much older than me (they're my half siblings from my father's first marriage, and are 9 and 11 years older than I am). And when my parents divorced when I was nine, I became an only child living with a working mom. So I spent a lot of time alone. I suffered from low self-esteem as a child and was bullied through school (I was overweight through my entire childhood). I was so nervous to even talk to people in any setting. I couldn't talk to people over the phone unless they were my family or friends. When I would be at social events, I generally kept to myself and often people thought I was stuck up because I never talked to anyone. When I had to give speeches in school I was so nervous I'd stumble and shake. I hated being the center of attention. It wasn't until I got a job as an ESL teacher living abroad, where I would have classes of up to 12 students or more, that I broke out of this nervousness about talking to others. I gained a lot of confidence with speaking in front of large crowds, and now that sort of thing doesn't bother me in the least bit. I actually enjoy doing entertaining things in front of crowds. I also now have no issues engaging in conversations in social situations. In fact, I happen to think I talk too much and dominate conversations. It feels weird when I am in conversations now because we'll be talking and when the other person is speaking, I try my best to listen, but I often don't find what they are saying particularly interesting. I want to find what they say interesting, and with a few people I've become genuinely interested in it, but overall I just don't. I've gotten better at not interrupting people and listening in general, but I still seem to always bring the topic back on myself. The more knowledge I gain of this the more self-aware I am in conversations. I know that asking people questions is a good way to engage them and not myself, and I do my best, but I still always seem to have to give my opinion or relate it to my own experience. I'm not sure if this is a subconscious way of trying to empathize with the person or not. And while I've known that I do this for quite some time, I still end up doing it and only realizing that I do it afterwards. And with people younger than myself, I find that I often give advice, even when it is not asked of me. Although I rarely fluff myself up or toot my own horn so to speak. I've asked some friends and co-workers that if I talked too much and they either didn't give a response or just said that I was a "good conversationalist" and always had something to talk about.Perhaps I am being paranoid and looking too much into it? I wonder why I always seem to feel a bit of guilt after having conversations with people. But I find it difficult to make friends on a deeper level than just the acquaintance level. And I feel it is because I cannot connect deeply with people because I talk about myself too much. I know that I don't want to do this, but it just seems difficult to have a two sided conversation. I have gone through days where I don't engage with people much just to avoid getting into the same situation again but I find that makes it worse. If the best way to get better at something is to practice it, how come I still do the same things? Any insight is helpful. Thanks for reading. Shea

I think the hair is a plus to be honest! You're easily recognizable and on Youtube that is a good thing! Just upgraded equipment and shooting environment would be the only suggestions. That takes time and money, obviously. So just keep doing what you're doing, slowly upgrading and you'll build a following. It takes a little while but they will come.

I've been doing Youtube videos for a while, and some of the strategies I've used are including lots and lots of relevant tags in your video, make the description as detailed as possible, and make sure your titles to the videos include both the main topic of what you discuss, as well as something to catch the eye. Video thumbnails also help with drawing viewers. I change my environment up a lot, but if you're going to be a talking head, try to get a good background, good lighting, and presenting yourself well. I'm still learning myself, but I've been able to reach a good audience so far. One other suggestion is to do video responses to others who do similar videos or cover similar topics, as well as engaging in a community related to the issues. And of course, social media can help as well. I like what I've seen from your videos, just keep at it and you'll get more viewers. Hope that was helpful. Shea

Hey there todofixthis! Have you made it to or are planning to come to Japan during your journey? I've lived in Japan going on six years now. Would be nice to have a small meet up at some point if you're in the area. I am planning on going to Thailand for my winter vacation, however. Will you still be in Thailand come December? Shea

I feel lucky to be in the teaching environment I'm in. Obviously, the school has rules, and Japanese society in general is very strict with adhering to cultural standards. Japan is very group oriented (coming from a homogenous society). But I operate within that by talking to my students as if they are human beings and my job is to bring an international perspective to them so I'm allowed a lot of freedom in how I teach them. The good thing about Japanese culture when it comes to children is overall the the concept of striking a child in any way (or striking other human beings really) is just not acceptable. It's not really even on their radar which is refreshing. Thank you for the welcome!

Add me: sroberts85 Another suggestion is we could start an Unofficial FDR Google + group and do hangouts as well.

Hello all! My name is Shea and I'm a Texan who has lived in Japan for nearly six years. I found out about Stefan and FDR via his first appearance on Joe Rogan's podcast some months ago. I've been listening to FDR ever since. I've just now gotten to joining the forums. I'm still learning a lot and playing catch up with a lot of the materials, but I just wanted to introduce myself! I teach kindergarten aged kids and I find the information on peaceful parenting techniques and teaching kids to think rationally to be of particular interest. I've been actively implementing it to the kids I teach and it's been great! I've also always had an interest in philosophy and discussion. One of my goals is to become better at presenting and defending my ideas to others. Shea