massaki

hey forget it, it was stupid, im not going to do that to myself, i should never invole myself with a dysfunctional person, it wont end well, i wont feel good about it and there is no benefit to it.

Im so sorry man. Based on my own experiences, your friend might be among the dead. If he letting a girl control him or spending of of his time with her, that just means he values her way more than your "Years" of friendship. Hey they might break up and you guys get to hangout again....until the next controlling girl that he finds so attractive and more valuable then his closest friends enters his life again and then the excuses pile up and the pattern begins. My first girlfriend, I used to show off to all my friends and spent time with both of them at the same time! This girl i liked at college i asked her to sit at my table and eat with me and my FRIENDS! I did spend alone time with her but it didn't take up my whole life. It's a reason he hasn't ever showed you guys her, i don't know what that reason is, but i know it ain't a positive one. Picture this, "The love of my life is such a positive and awesome person and she makes everyday of my life sparkle! Lets keep her in a basement and not show her off to the people who I care about the most!" It doesn't sound right. Right? That's not what you would do to someone you love and would marry. How is his parents relationship with each other?

She is 7 or 8. My mom is a 1, she is morbidly obese. I do mentally and physically but no because she accepts the abuse from her boyfriend and defends him, she also can't see the connection of her brother with her mom's boyfriend. Also she has been going to therapy for the last few years and gawd they must suck, From a single 2hour conversation, i made connections about the abuse and her mom not being that great among other things that they couldn't do in years of talking to her.. I don't want the friendship to last ,but i want the benefit of being able to say what i feel and for someone to be invested in it, and to ask me questions and to try and cheer me up and to be like Dan you can do it.(thats my name btw) I don't get that anywhere, out of the hundreds of people i talked to, only a few were like that. I have been trying to get better and i made lots of progress from these 4 months since i quit therapy from that lunatic, but it's not enough I want to get a job so i can move out. I think friendship will benefit me for the short-term of getting out of this rut and having someone cheer me on, but for the theres long-term no way i want to keep someone like that around me. I feel like it's wrong because i'm using her basically so i can complete my goal, and then i would throw her away. As long as i dont bring up her dysfunctions she would be fine talking to me, i guess im buying her empathy or concern for me by my silence. I have had lots of empathetic friends and they helped me a lot, like with cheering me on but they were all dysfunctional. it was usually a specific thing or two that when i saw the dysfunction and confronted them about it, they would get angry at me and attack me and after i while i would get so fed up with it, i would tell them not to talk to me anymore or they would stop talking to me ,like she did. I feel without it i won't be able to get out of this situation that i put myself in. I accept responsibility for this hell whole that im in. Sadly i still have this belief deep inside that my mom will change and that she will start to love me and take care of me and help me do better. It's what thought when i had my mental breakdown at college ,but i kept on reminding myself that she hurt me for 18 years and wouldn't stop now, but i went anyway. sorry that i went off topic ,but i was just explaining why i felt i need it,

I had this friend who i was really close with. She and her boyfriend began to physically fight with each other, and i opposed it , i also sent her information on it and stuff. Before that we used to have really great conversations about my life and hers, and she would ask me really deep and unexpected questions. We both tried to understand each other and stuff. She stopped talking to me after the boyfriend stuff. Its been years now and i was just feeling really upset and i wanted someone to listen to me and care about my feelings which i don't really get anywhere offline, so i called her again, i was crying and we talked for about 2 hours, talking to her really helped me sort out my feelings and stuff. She is still with her boyfriend and its pretty much the same, she say they haven't been violent towards each other but i doubt that. I''m really in a rut in my life and i feel like talking to her really helps me feel better about myself. but im conflicted because i know i don't want to be friends with her after i get better because ii don't want to be around that crap. I have no friends right now , so talking to another human feels really good. I know i cant criticize her boyfriend, and when she was younger her older brother molested her for 3 years and i instantly made the connection with her mom getting a new boyfriend, i think he might have done something to her older brother because it started after her mom's boyfriend moved in with them. Also i wanted to bring up her mom not being as great as she see's her because she was getting molested for 3 years without her mom seeing any changes in her or "knowing" about it. Also two of her brothers are monsters and the reason she developed empathy so strongly would be to appeal to those uncaring adults and siblings around her who didnt see or chose not to see her getting hurt. Talking to her for the two hours those things popped up and i know if i speak to her about those things she might end our friendship again. I feel like im just listing the negatives so i'll say positives too why , i think this friendship would be good for me. As soon as i told her i gained weight , she offered to go to the gym with me to workout, and provide support. She talked to me about my feelings ,constantly asked me why,and showed interest in my well being When i told her my struggles i had at college she told me about her struggles so i could relate and feel more comfortable and gave me advice. I talked about my dream of becoming a neuropsychologist and how i want to make a better and non-violent world and about how i thought that the origin of violence is traumatic childhoods. So my question is it wrong just to be friends with her for a short period of time until i feel better and start to do better? i think without someone i can talk to about my struggles it will be difficult, because i have no one right now and i live at home with my abusive mother,since i dropped out of college. I'm journaling and meditating and going on walks, and attempting to eat better. I used to see a counselor ,but he was really bad and all 7 of the psychologist that i saw throughout my life , they all did more harm then good. I have made lots of progress, but i feel its all useless without that connection, with someone who cares for me, its like what is it worth.

Yea i feel mostly mental stable writting about and even times when i start having panic attacks trying to get myself to write, i then write about my frustrations about writing, lol

How do you cope with your fear avoidance? I would like to know, because this is the last thing i have to come up with some strategy to cope right now. I want to get a job so i can leave this toxic environment. I made up strategies for everything else and categorized them and practiced reactions to them., The fear something major that i have noticed but never really like truly took issue with, and i would just brush it off like a little fear. I now notice that I avoid many things and my brain just shuts down at times of stress, like i feel partly retarded or to say even worse off then a special needs person. I remember when i wanted to stream league of legends and i was doing a test stream and then i started getting scared and i freaked out and i tried to turn it off, but not in a logical sane way. I was trying to turn it off in some type of way that if i thought about it , i know it wouldn't turn off. I bought a computer to be honest for the main reason to make youtube videos of me playing and to stream and to make philosophic videos and other things that are of interest o to me. I have done none of those things and even when i play i cant do it well anymore , i began to get angry, then super sad and frustrated, like my brain doesn't light up anymore. It feels like this way almost all the time. I think it depression because of the overall dull feeling but writing this doesn't make me feel dull. Whenever i get good or start to get good, i would stop doing it or i would get progressively bad at it. I used play guitar and then i stopped then bass and then i stopped. I fear that my dream of becoming a neuropsychologist and continue the work Robbyn Petters Bennet does with helping people not spank their children wont come true. I want to be doing research on spanking and other harmful things people do to their children, and show the benefits not morally but in terms the zombies can understand so that maybe in a generation or two in my life time i can see the ending of war. I have so many things that have affected me negatively, its hard to think i can even do that. I know i have to leave my mom's house and get a apartment, and in order to do that i have to get a job. I also want to go back to college, so i can get the that paper that tells people i know what im talking about, then another one so i can actually work under a already established Neuropsychologist, which i wish i could skip the first two parts and just do some type of apprenticeship. Honestly a lot of the psychologist i talked to only cared about me constantly coming back to them and then the others didn't seem to really care about me, or what i wanted. They were all just bad and i could do a better job then them, i think most of the people on this board could do a better job then them. I find it ridiculous how they got through 6-8 years of school, then 1-2 years studying under somebody ,then years of actually doing it come up with being complete shit at it. i honestly made more progress in a week then all the years of therapy i had, i want to continue to make progress so that i can complete my dream. I've been thinking about this too, of only doing things that make my brain sparkly like writing here, and writing my story and trying to make videos. I want to eat right too and workout, but for some reason to all those positive things , just only doing things that i know will make me happy i have like a deep internal fear. None of the people i went to therapy even brought any of that stuff up, it makes me more sick that these monsters who call themselves professionals, experts in their field that are even allowed to get away with this their bullshit.

Only if every child- rapist could just say im sorry and get off scott free the world would be such a better place. Oh wait it just happened centuries of rape all forgiven just because one man said sorry...... fuck these sociopath bastards fuck them all.

Dude that's not even getting a car with no upgrades, it's a car with upgrades that beeps it's horn at you and makes you look at it, but says don't touch. It worse then when a dog starts humping its beanie bag pretending its a female dog, because you know at least that poor fella gets to have a orgasm.

After i read the first paragraph i agreed with you and then i felt anxious, took off my glasses and prepared to walk away from my computer, and then i realized what you you said about being a neurotic robot was spot on. I felt anxious and i automatically thought to get away. Thank you so much for that, i honestly never truly realized and grasped that. After lots of thinking i decided im done with therapists i've been to 7 and they either approved of the abuse, or didn't ask me about it at all. I just want to say for the first time in my life, The wall i talk about didn't stop me, when i wanted to start writing my book. It did at first ,but then i became angry, angry at the abuse, angry at my self for letting this continue in my head and then i was able to write and it was the most amazing feeling i have ever experienced it was like my mind was sexual organ and it was having multiple orgasms. For this whole week I made a goal sheet. I put everything i wanted to do for that day down, and when i completed them i would write done!!! next to the completed goal. The first day of trying i had a major break through. i was able to get through the wall. I also wrote down how i felt after each day. I also made a list of all of my defenses and made strategies to get past for that moment.

I think because im not doing enough, i know there more deeper reasons, but im not doing enough right now. I'm gonna try something ,i've been thinking about for a while, and ill report back here after about a week, if there are any changes.

The wall, if i were to describe it, it would be a tightening of my gut, a neurotic and massive craving to just shrivel up, i want move my arms closer to my stomach, to make myself smaller, a feeling of lightness comes over me, like im not held to the ground, i feel, i failure all around me and my life, my thoughts become riddled with ”I can’t do this” or “why the fuck can't i do this”, “i just need to do this”. No matter what i am doing, it becomes harder, it becomes harder to think. Throughout my body it feels heavy like a stone, moving becomes hard, walking becomes hard, a lot of times I fall over to the floor or i use a wall to keep me up, my body just feels like its shutting down, my speech slurs to a point where everything i say is unrecognizable. The more i fight it, the more it takes me down. Sometimes it feels like my head is being ripped apart. It’s pretty horrible. I have calmed my mind down sometimes, but the feelings throughout my body don’t go away, I usually end up giving up. It usually happens when i'm trying to do something that will help me, like getting a job or completing essays to pass a class. I remember all the way back in highschool I had to do one paper to pass ,but i couldnt research it or do anything, i was on focalin, but i was just so tired all the time, i fell asleep when people would talk to me, it was after i stopped taking adderall. I'm not blaming just the drugs, I was in a box before, but as time went on especially after the adderal the box got smaller. The liberian ended up doing my essay for me basically, i talked and stuff and wrote a little bit , and i told her what to write for me, but other than that she did like 85% of it. In highschool i always missed assignments or chose not to do them to play video games, my only escape when i'm home, but it got to the point where i couldn't do anything, and senior year i skipped school at least 2twice a week and then when i was there, i would just cut at lunch to go home and play call of duty. I was really good at it too, and one friend later asked why didn't i play in a tournaments and i said i didn't know. I guess doing that would make me step out of the box. Right now i'm no longer in college , living at my mothers house, I think the wall, is just her in my head throughout all the years of hell she gave me, because i noticed that whenever ii start trying to take care of myself , like going to the doctor, (i'm diabetic) or when i went off to college or i was going to go back again, or even when i was there, she would ramp up her insanity and attack me more. I remember when i was younger i wanted to workout, so my mom made me do stretching every morning , like workouts for someone who is like 600 pounds(im wasn't 600 pounds). She always refused to get me a bike, but she went on walks with me and then after every walk she would buy me fast food and when i was younger i used to eat way more than i do now. I always have a double cheeseburger, large fries, 20pc chicken nuggets, with a milkshake. I Think the wall is just mental conditioning, from the beatings when i defended myself, to for abuse when i expressed wanting to lose weight, with the fake helping me and just every other time i tried to help myself. I think she wants to kill me without physically doing it, i don’t think she ever wanted me. My father and mother i don’t think they were dating, I think she was the other woman. I have a half-sis a year older and a half-bro 2 years older. My dad btw is a functioning alcoholic who is very intimidating and brutish, he has also been violent to me the few times i have seen him. Yea so the wall i feel is the embodiment all the abuse i suffered, and continue to suffer through. I have made progress in the other things but this is my Wall that i can’t climb that affects everything else. I'm trying to seek therapy, i called twice and gotten numbers ,but no one was available, so i have to do call my insurance provider again, and its really hard to do it. I had a counselor i talked to for about a 1.5 years but he sucked, he was telling me to forgive my mom and to join the military since i felt lost and he helped prolong many toxic relationships in my life as i was finding out about philosophy. For the past months i have made more progress than those almost 2 years with him. I actually feel more energized now and not as boxed in writing about it. I'm gonna try find a good therapist after i get work, so i can pay for one, because the ones on my insurance plan only want to give me drugs or they seem to suck, like not helping with the real issues. Paying will give me more options. I think writing might be my temporary solution to the wall. Thank you so much for asking, there is a lot more if you aren't satisfied. What do you think about therapy?

In college i was having flashbacks to times where i was beaten, i couldn't sleep much, and when i did i had nightmares , that made me want to stay awake. My therapists told i had ptsd after that. I no longer have the flashbacks, but i still a few times a day, stop and say "i loved her, yesterday but then she died" or i will repeat a word or phrase multiple times ,it usually is something thats to past events.The phrase i mentioned only started recently, i think it has to do with a friend who was in a mutually-abusive relationship, which i call relationshits, i really loved her, sexually, and as a friend, she stopped talking to me after i voiced my opinion and tried to convince her that being that relationship would be detrimental to her health, she defended her boyfriend and then told me goodbye before blocking me on facebook. A few days ago i realized that most of the things i do are because of past events and trauma. Like if i get lots anxiety or i get really excited for something I become tired and sleepy and then i lay down, but cover my head, so no one would be able to see my face. My uncle used to assault me when i "misbehaved" at school, and the only way for him not to hurt me was for me , to either pretend i was sleeping or be asleep. A lot of the time , i feel like there is a wall stopping me from doing things and i realized that... Im sorry im having a panic attack the moment trying to write this, the other stuff i do just escaped my mind, i keep turning shouting i dont, know and then i bite on my arm and hand, to keep me from talking, because i process and think better when talking. I guess that a moment for moment one i guess. I knew about this post for a while but i avoided it, it was tough for me, honestly im still stuck in my mind like im still like 7 or 8 emotionally. A lot of the things i do are from horrible abuse from them, my family, the people at school, teachers included. Ill write more, i promise after i calm down, but i needed to stop avoiding this, because my experience might give more insight or help someone else. 1 more thing it extends with relationships with women, i am attracted to girls who treat me like my mom did, girls who ignore me at times and dont show love and compassion ,girls who blame me for their actions. its like me again begging mommy to listen to me, to take interest in me, and when they ignore me i can go on for days hour by hour every 30 mins texting or messaging them. They know they can end it, by texting me back, and they do after a period of time always after i say i give up, they come back to do it again. Im attracted to girls who love torturing guys like me.

Is it possible to be close with a female, without anything sexual, if you guys are both single? I have never had a female friend that i was close to , that i didn't start to feel attracted to, when we were both single. I want to know your opinions.

MORE VIDEOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For the longest time, up until, just a few minutes ago, I thought of disassociation as the same as self-erasure. After watching Stefan's video "The deadly superstition of human rights", I now think differently. Stefan talks about dissociation from all the known horrors of the world , like child abuse, that we know are going on, to make ourselves not be disabled by it. I always thought Dissociation and Self-Erasure were the same, but they are not. They are both used to protect us ,but one holds more destructive effects than the other one. I think the main thing for self-erasure is how we are destroyed when we use it. Dissociation is used to protect us ,but does not have the destructive effects of self-erasure. I think it's ok and a good thing to dissociate to a certain point to survive. I before used to completely reject it, because i thought it was a form of self-erasure and it was harmful to me. I now will use it more actively in my life. Do you guys have any thoughts on this? Any Criticisms ?

So the bathroom seems to be a good place to think of ideas then.

I have been wondering that. I think it may be due to us being alone and it's kind of the safest place for most people mentally ,because you know no one is around watching you poop.(unless you are in japan. Im sorry for you gals.), because you feel safe , maybe your ideals are able to flow more freely. I remember this episode on scrubs where people went to poop on a toilet know as the epiphany toilet. What do you guys think?

So what do you guys think of the Patriarchy? I think it talks about how throughout all of time men have oppressed women. I think it also talks about how men should be put in there place below woman and how woman should rise up against their oppressors. Honestly it reminds me of the communist manifesto, and the last few lines with workers of the world unite. I heard some of their logic comes from there. I hear feminist talk about equality, but they usually from a lot videos i see bash men. what do you think about that? If feminist are for gender equality why don't they just call themselves gender equaliist or something like that , why say you are for equality and only push for one side, that's in its self unequal? According to many feminists if a girl is drunk and i had sex with her even if im drunk to that rape, if i kiss a girl even if she wants it and moves closer next to me for me to kiss her that is rape and if i don't ask a girl to have sex with her even if she removed her clothes , opened her legs for me to have sex with her, that's rape. Do you agree with these ideas? According to these ideas i am a rapist. Even one goes as far as to say if you don't ask the girl every few seconds and every new position during that its rape. I know communication is important ,but this is going way too far.

I what to know why do people attack feminism all the time, like what is wrong with it? I used to know, but now i have forgotten, so reminders in-depth please are welcomed.

Joel i agree with you. The wounds they inflict and then don't just leave them festering, they stick a knife in and make wounds worse. I think food addiction is self mutilation though. You're hurting ,possibly permanently damaging your insides,depending on your metabolism, you are adding fat to your body, this makes stretch marks, it makes it hard for you to do physical activities, it decreases your sexual performance. It mutilates your life. For me i always felt my parents resented having me they didn't want to really talk with me and even when i played games, i always remember begging them to watch me play and out of the hundreds of times that i asked,, i remember my mom maybe watched once and she pretended(not convincingly) to watch. She didn't take interest in most of the things that i did expect things she could show off to other people, to make this picture of a good son and a happy family. My tools of self-erasure was T.V, games overeating, i also played pretend and fantasized a lot,creating worlds in my head, i guess that's what made me good at writing and creating worlds and stories. If i didn't do all of that , i had to see my mother who was really violent and verbally abusive, and my cousin who loved to torture me and all the roaches around me. My mind might wonder to school and the kids that bullied me and the teachers who would get mad at me instead of helping me. I was actually allergic to roaches so i kept on breaking out and i couldn't really sleep at night. I'm actually happy and proud of myself though. I'm happy that i can see all of this and for all of the Evil that it is and when i do have children its gonna be something i will not inflict on them and something i am and will continue working on so they will never have to experience this kind of sickness. Joel could you tell me about your experiences with self-erasure, like about your childhood? I also want to say, you should be proud too,You have come a long way to see this and to realize this too and it must have taken a lot of work to do. I'm glad that you did come to these realization and did go out of your way to search for truth. Thank you all for all of your efforts.

Hi i live in newyork! My facebook is https://www.facebook.com/dan.bear.14 the name for it is Dan Connects. Btw are you the guy who made the transender album?

He is just catering to his audience which is mostly men, he told us that a few times. He might do that, but i don't think the interest is there. If you want you can Google the information you seek and post it here, that would be cool.

What do you guys define as self-erasure? Why do you think people self erase? I think of self erasure as doing thing that makes the self seem smaller. Like playing video games, sitting in a way that makes yourself smaller, watching T.V, porn, overeating, or eating really unhealthy food,etc. I think certain things you can do that can be the opposite like self expanding, like sitting more openly, or writing a story, interacting with people who are like us and not like the zombies, etc. I have found doing the things i thought were to be self erasing, makes me feel small, weak, like i don;t matter, i feel insecure and closed off. I have noticed doing the things that i thought were self expanding made me feel more confident, it made me feel more stable, and happy and more out going, it built upon its self. I think people self erase because it's a very valuable survival tool. Many people including myself childhoods revolved around us self- erasing ourselves to benefit those around us who had power and have used it violently against us. It protects us from abusers. I am still am in an abusive relationship with my mother, and i have noticed after i start to self expand, I become neurotic, constantly thinking about how i can self erase. I think because i still am in that dangerous situation and not by not self erasing i still am attacked. I also discovered that emotionally i am still a little boy, I'm little Dan on a emotional level, and intellectually i am older ,but the emotional part of me is more primal and dominant. I thought of Writing letters to little Dan and help him feel safe ,so i can self expand, but i was wrong in that. I cannot protect him in this environment. I want to make this statement that i think is true. You cannot stop self-erasing with abusive people around you, be it family or friends, you cannot fully expand yourself to your greatest capacity while there are people around you to tear you down in any way even small ones.

i never heard of it before

During your transition don't hold back, like keeping toxic friends hoping that you can convince them to become better. I did that and failed. It's impossible to change the minds of those who don't have any self-awareness. This is a conversation i had with a ex-friend. I'm to give back story her mom, and dad are drunks and her dad was really abusive and so her, her mom and her brother left. Her mom later found another guys and got with him, but he was another abusive drunk, but this time instead of taking them with her, she left them with him, and he was a pedophile too. She left that place two years ago, but her brother is still messed up and she had to take care of him, she now lives with her boyfriend. She told me her relationship with her mom was great ,so that question popped in my head and i got a tub of shit from her.I later realised a lot of the things she said to me and the advice she gave me was crap, just be as honest as you can be and hopefully you have some non-zombies around you., and without the zombies around you it will be easier to find people who aren't zombies. Here is the conversation. [*] Dan Connects So your mom went to therapy and apologized for putting you in such a dangerous situation? [*]March 3 [*] 3/3, 5:20am Dan Connects why didn't you answer my question? [*]March 3 [*] 3/3, 8:58am Girl- No reason. I had to go and I'm too busy keep a running convo going with anyone. Why did you message me at 5 am? It alerts my phone and wakes me up lol' [*]March 4 [*] 3/4, 3:32pm Dan Connects sorry i didn't know that. btw you still didn't answer my question. Do you think you may be avoiding answering? [*] 3/4, 3:33pm Girl- No, I'm avoiding your accusations. [*] 3/4, 4:13pm Dan Connects what accusations? I don't really think that makes much sense. I think we hit a defense mechanism, which is alright. What were your thoughts? how did you feel when i ask you about that? [*] 3/4, 4:16pm Girl-Dude, stop analyzing me. I'm an open book until you get critical. I honestly thought our last convo was over and now you're trying to sit me down for a therapy session because I didn't answer your question. I'm not interested in indulging in that kind over overdramatizing. [*]March 5 [*] 3/5, 7:07am Dan Connects I asked because i was curious and i care about you. I feel hurt right now, because you are taking your anger out on me. [*] 3/5, 8:23am Girl -I'm not angry. You're being over dramatic. This convo is very inappropriate and I don't want any part in it. [*] 3/5, 9:06am Dan Connects this is just really messed, i don't even know how to properly respond to this , im just so upset right now. you acting completely different than you would usually act,even saying something like that, its like are you even the same person I'm used to talking to. [*]March 5 [*] 3/5, 1:52pm Girl- This is how people act when they're uncomfortable. Your sense of entitlement over the details personal life is inappropriate. I don't owe you any explanations. I'm sorry if you got the wrong idea. I'd like to be your friend, and friends don't get upset by boundaries. [*]March 5 [*] 3/5, 6:32pm Dan Connects I really care about you and i only asked those things because i thought it would be helpful to you. If your mom did or didn't , it would effect your relationship with her and if she did i think you guys would have an even stronger relationship and i know you would want that. I want you to be happy. If you are feeling uncomfortable then we can talk about it, but i feel hurt after reading you calling me entitled and telling me how i am supposed to feel.if you don't care about how i feel then we shouldn't talk anymore. [*] 3/5, 6:40pm Girl -I don't feel uncomfortable talking about it. I felt uncomfortable when you were coercing me to tell you and acted like an expert on my life when I wasn't as responsive as you thought I should be. In doing so, no matter your intention, you crossed a boundary. For me to point out what is personal to me and up for me to share is not a matter of insult. It's a fact that I should hope that you will respect in the future. That's all I ask. [*] 3/5, 7:04pm Girl-The way you framed the conversation removed any choice I had in revealing a personal piece of information. That is called 'coercion'. A person would have to harbor a sense of 'entitlement' to act that way. A 'boundary' maintains the way someone wishes to be treated, and I do not wish to be coerced into sharing my feelings in a way that will satisfy your unfounded concerns. So when I use these words, they are not intended as insults. I am simply addressing a serious situation and explaining my course of action, which you seemed so appalled by. I hope this helps you understand that I am not angry. Just being honest. [*]March 6 [*] 3/6, 8:18am Dan Connects --- [*] 3/6, 8:40am Dan Connects This is bullshit. You're just rationalizing your feelings and putting the blame on me ,for why you felt uncomfortable. If you felt i was using some type of manipulation technique you would have first said something or realized it was by accident, because you know i'm a good person. You didn't react that though, first you ignored me ,then you made up an excuse saying you were too busy. Since i saw that you felt uncomfortable, that's why i asked you "what were your thoughts and feelings when i asked that?" The you called over dramatic and over analyzing, when i responded to you feeling uncomfortable. This the first time this has ever happened when we talked ,and this is the first time I really ever asked anything about your mother and i think it was extra sensitive ,because i asked about her apologizing to you. This backlash im getting which is like the first time ever from you. I don't this is really about me ,but about you and your relationship with you mom. Does anything i said make any sense to you? Do you see where i'm coming frorm? [*]March 6 [*] 3/6, 3:33pm Girl-All I hear is you continuing to tell me how I feel. You have never done so in any of our previous convos and that is why I never responded the way I have to this one. Stop assuming shit by my silence and stop using that as a way of getting me to comment on the truth of the matter. That is manipulative! And the more you persist, the less I want to tell you about myself bc you assume, based on your experiences, that mine are also bad. I don't think you're doing it to be a bad person, I just don't think you realize how inappropriate it is for a friend to try to coax another into discussing something personal to that person and that just because they don't respond in a way that is satisfactory to you, doesn't mean they're trying to "hide" information from you. It means that I don't have to tell you every single detail of my life. I volunteered information that was applicable to your situation, it wasn't open for discussion and I was too busy to do so. When I returned to the convo find your prying, It made me uncomfortable. I'm sorry, but I just don't use messaging the way you do. I lay the convo to rest occasionally. You think it should just go on forever. That's just not natural to me. I can't pick up my phone and answer a new message every 6 hours. I have stuff to do. If I need to relay critical information to somebody, I'll get back to them. If it's not, I often times have to let it go. Just like an old fashioned message machine. Seeing as this information was about me, I have the sole authority over how critical it is. It was based on pertinence, not emotion. You made it emotional, even though it had nothing to do with you. I don't wish to dignify that response, so I you care enough about our friendship you'll just let it go. It's not as big a deal as you're making it. I simply needed to express that it was my deal, not yours. Nothing personal to you, just to me.