alejvill

Hey Carl. I believe I will be able to get my money after the 2nd of July, even though the website is a bit vague on when. I was thinking moving out sometime in August but perhaps moving out sooner rather than later is better. I should be able to meditate and journal much easier if I leave home, but I do like to write in my journal and also on Word. I should do it even more though.

Hey thanks for the response thelizardking52. Yeah my obesity is certainly lodged into my subconscious but fortunately I have a certain belief that I will shed the pounds once I'm away from home. The thing is, obesity is very much in my family and I believe my dad is incredibly ashamed of it which has shaped my own psyche. My dad tells me how he used to be very athletic and thin and never believed that he would get fat, yet my whole life my father has been very overweight. Never as much as my older brother though, who since he was 20 has been hovering comfortably over 300 pounds. And I have shared a room with this guy for over 22 years. (he's 28, still lives at home) So this certainly has had a profound impact on me. If I manage to get a studio apartment, which is what I really want, I am going to start doing P90x which I have had for about 4 years. The part of this that gets to me the most is that when I was 18 I had lost all of my excess weight, doing P90X, but I was so desperately depressed that I could just not believe that I was actually thin, and I developed body dysmorphic disorder which led to me going in for psychiatric help. They put me on SSRI's and I gained all my weight back and gained even more, even though my depression did subside. Now here I am trying to withdraw from them and I get really upset how much I lost due to the medications I was prescribed. Ultimately, it was faulty parenting and state indoctrination that made me so crippingly depressed, and now the anger and hopelessness about that is a lot to bear. With no one to bother me at my new place I really believe I will be able to manage. Now all that is needed is to make the shift away from home life to my own life, which will be very very difficult but I have to make it happen. Thank you so much for the support.

Yeah haha it is indeed a get out of jail card. Smaller goals? Perhaps I could do with some examples? I mean moving out is a goal of mine. Getting another car is a goal. Getting a motorcycle is a goal. Like that? Hey thanks Carl.

Yeah it's coming up by the time next semester rolls around but I will be incurring debt. (currently I am going to a university on grants)I can take out student debt in order to move out, if at least for a year. I really do think it's worth it, as Stefan stresses many of our problems stem from the family and I need to get out. Thanks for asking and thanks for the response!

They come from not engaging in certain activities as a child. I hardly ever played sports, I've not had a girlfriend(not a major problem for me btw nowhere near that shooter from UCSB.) I am either almost obese or obese and have been for quite some time and this certainly doesn't make me feel like a man. It certainly has to do with my older brother and how he would treat me. If my fears were wisest then I would get out of my house and start living somewhere else. Because currently I'm cooped up having to live in the same room as my brother and I hate it. If I look at my emotions as Stefan puts it, that they are the involuntary response to someone else's consistent actions, then I hate my mother, my brother, and my father, well not so much. I suppose my biggest problems stem from my family. I hate coming home and seeing who is there. If my dads around I'm usually okay. I love it when there's no one there. Hey thanks for responding and thanks for the warm welcome.

Hello everyone my name is Alejandro. I am 22 years of age living in Southern California and I'm in school for economics. I have been listening to Stefan since about the beginning of this year and I can say that I have never agreed with anyone so much and truly was delighted to find that there are people here that are so like minded. Truthfully I am well below where I would like to be in my life and so often I get overwhelmed at how much work there is to do on myself. I am brought almost to tears when I think about what is necessary in order to fix myself. I don't cry too much because I am afraid of dealing with head on the problems I face. I know at some point I'l have to in order to move forward. Perhaps I should stop complaining and man up, and am incredibly afraid that someone like Stefan would tell me all I need is to stop being such a pussy. In my core, I don't think I feel like a man and to be told that I'm just being weak is telling me what I am afraid of the most. This is what makes me cry and well, does it have to do with my childhood or should I just stop being a bitch? That is what goes in my mind many times over as I'm thinking of my complaints of my life. I look forward to healing and realize that if I want to accomplish my goals it will not be easy. Sometimes it feels sort of hopeless and other times I feel like of course I can do this. To be sure, I consider finding Freedomain Radio a real stepping stone to a good life. I don't think I could clearly envision much of a future for myself as I do now thanks to having taken in a lot of Stefan Molyneux's work. I appreciate you taking the time to read this.