Hello zurtweiter. It's fantastic that you have already made an appointment, for me that was the hardest part. In my experience I was terrified the first time as well. I remember feeling embarrassed and scared to share my thoughts. I had no idea what to expect or what it would be like. It seems to me now that I look back that I was filling in all of the unknowns with my imagination. Therapy for me, was nothing like I had expected. I can remember nervous shaking and having a trembling voice when I arrived for my first session. I had pictured it being very awkward talking to this new mysterious person.
When I got to the office I was greeted by the therapist with a warm and genuine smile. I was asked if I would like some water or tea, and told I could take a seat where ever I like. There are a few things they might need to mention about privacy and liabilities before you start. After all that my therapist started by exploring my reasons for coming in. Which I replied something along the lines of " where do you want me to start". And then the conversation built from there. I always felt safe, I felt like I was being listened to, and as time went on everything became more comfortable. The therapist was not like any person I had ever met.
Hopefully you can form a good bond with your therapist. When you are surrounded by coercive, toxic people the idea of opening up is daunting. However I feel like once you meet a good therapist opening up will feel uplifting and empowering. If I can elaborate on anything or if you have any questions I'm happy to share. I have been going for the last ten years for depression and anxiety. I'm certainly feeling much better today and still finding ways to grow.
I respect you for seeking therapy, it takes a lot of courage to overcome anxiety and childhood trauma. Perhaps you can update with how your first session goes?
Cheers