bds4206

Let me just say thanks for the replies. Also let me say that I didn't start this thread as a way of getting sympathy or anything like that. I'm genuinely trying to find the best outcome for everyone, me included. I also think that the question itself is an interesting one on a larger scale for anyone that is in a situation like this, or a situation with family that are troublesome, etc. To address a few things in particular; The not liking kids issue is really mine. I don't really like her kids and they don't like me. I got along with them pretty well while we were dating but once we moved in together things changed quickly. The same thing can be said for her relationship with my daugther. My daugther just moved in with us a few months ago after her mother died. Before she moved in with us and she was just seeing us on weekends and holidays they got along fine. Now that she lives here (especially with the trauma from her mothers death) things are not good between them. I don't have the time or you guys the patience I'm sure to go into why we got married in the first place so I'll save that for another time. I also agree that the kids are really the victims here. Not me and not my wife. I agree that the choice to stay is probably the selfish one on the surface but if my daughter and wife can re establish their bond, staying may be a great thing for my daughter as she now doesn't have a "mother" in her life. Although she didn't get along with her mom really either. Thanks though for all of your thoughts. The whole story I think is too long to really get into here so I'll save that. To answer my own question about whether it's better to stay or go in a situation like that, I'd be inclined to tell a stranger to leave and get it over with while everyone is still young. Much easier to say to a stranger though than to a mirror I guess.

I was not raised Mormon, but I do have a mormon spouse and have went to church there for quite some time. I don't go anymore. I even was a "priesthood holder". The prayer thing was always the one thing that I couldn't get past. I prayed for many, many things and probably was hitting about .500 on prayers being "answered". What always gave me trouble though was that if I got what I prayed for, it's because god is good. If I didn't, it's because it wasn't meant to be. lol. But either way a prayer is answered. I think that's the company line right?

Hello. My name is Brian. I've been listening for several months and am a donor. I love philosophy and love the things that are going on here. I am new to the forum as well. I have a situation that I was going to try to talk to Steph about but I'm not sure how interesting it is, yada, yada. So I'll make a long story short. If you're married and have stepchildren (huge mistake right there) and things aren't working in the family (wife doesn't like my child, I don't like her children, they don't like each other etc.) is it better to try to work it out or just leave. Which one do you think would cause less damage and limit the damage that already has been caused? There obviously are alot of extenuating circumstances (mormonism, death of a biological parent, and more) but I think it's pretty safe to say that my wife and I get along pretty well most of the time, but all of the other relationships in the "family" are damaged. I've asked two different therapists this question while explaining the whole situation and I got two different answers. a. You should leave. You won't hurt the kids, they don't like you anyway and you don't like them. So as far as you limiting the damage to the children, the damage would be minimal anyway. b. You only have to deal with the kids for another 10 years. If you love your wife, suck it up, do your best and wait out the storm....to paraphrase. I wish I had never gotten myself into this situation, but I did and now I need to figure out the best way to fix this for all involved. Any thoughts on this are welcome. Even if your thought is that I'm a moron...

Hello. My name is Brian. I am a fairly new listener and new donating partner to the show. I'm 33 and live in Florida. I love the show and the opinions that are expressed. I am looking forward to being a member of the community and hopefully I can find a way to contribute something. Thanks and I look forward to getting to know the folks here.