Hi, this is my first time posting and am unsure of where to start. I've always tried to do good things and be a good person (whatever that means, basically being nice to others) but where has the real, rational thought been lurking? Discovering the consistent use of logic by Stefan has left me feeling lost.. I've made so many grievous errors and I'm not sure how to right the wrongs. I slip into guilt and depression for all of my own past bullshit and have a difficult time tolerating myself when I make further mistakes. I try. My family suffers. I want to move forward from where we are now. My kids are 12, 10, 8, and 6. I chose poorly and there was abuse in our family. I'm no longer with my husband. My 10 year old needs a lot of help and I don't feel I'm adequately equipped to help the way he needs. He goes into dark loops and says things like how he knows that I hate him and why don't I just kill him, why can't he just kill himself, and this has been going on for years. I try to be there, and it's difficult with the intensity. I'm at a loss sometimes.