Jenuine

Hi Gwen, I'm sorry to hear about the abuse you have endured, as well as your children's exposure to the abuse! I just wrote a long reply and it got erased when I changed a setting on my browser which is annoying. Are you up for phone chatting sometime? If not, I would be happy to respond again.. it just may be easier if we talk. I'm a video editor and aside from some weekends during the day when I'm out getting interviews, I can usually make time whenever.. If you do want to chat send me an email with your number, or I can email you back with mine. I bet it can be tricky with kids and a husband around so we can work around that, or if you would prefer to message here instead, that's cool too. [email protected]

Sorry for the lag in reply. Was it infuriating when your sister tried to turn the rest of the fam against you? I think I would be super pissed! Why do you think she did that? Maybe she was afraid they would side with you and she would be somewhat forced to deal with her abuse? Is anyone taking a position on this besides you? If not, why do you think that is? If you guessed what she said about you to try and get them on her side, what would that be?

Hi Triumph.. thanks for your question, and for sharing some of your experiences! I can relate somewhat in the situation with my abusive ex.. He was always playing the part of the know-it-all, and his fragile ego rarely stepped aside long enough to admit any kind of mistake. After nearly 4 years of knowing him, I can't really decipher the pattern of what made him apologize or admit wrongdoing other than those rare moments when he felt good enough about himself to calculate the risk/benefit of admitting his mistake in favor of clarity and honesty. One clear instance of this know-it-all stubbornness was when he would consistently not listen to me on issues regarding my parents.. something I am the clear authority on. These came back to bite him every time and he still insisted on not listening. With the unrelenting know-it-alls I've met, I've observed a common trait of unhappiness with the self.. people that are largely devoid of self-created virtue to the point where they seem to rely on their knowledge as the main pride, benefit, and connection of themselves with others. This makes them especially susceptible to the uncomfortable ness/ pain of being wrong. Until and if they ever reach a healthy self esteem level, I wouldn't expect them to change. Great for you for standing up, and making the choice to put yourself and reason ahead of an abusive relationship. I'm sorry to hear that you were treated in this way for so long. It sounds like maybe she even prayed upon your traumatic state from the terrible event? If so, that is despicable and shudder worthy in my opinion. Has she shown any signs of remorse or willingness to make things right with you? Do you think she knows what she was doing was wrong? To me, the most painful part about my tolerance of the abuse was the result of not trusting myself as much. When I was finally able to fully step back and see what I was subjecting myself to, I felt like 'how the hell did I end up here'. I had brief moments of clarity about this all along which makes it even worse. The clarity was what I would imagine a homeless meth addict might feel when looking at a pre-meth photo of themselves. Pretty much WTF! It's also troubling that it took physical violence which didn't show up until a few years into our relationship to really start to wake me up. I am so glad I chose the path of self knowledge. I am still figuring out the underlying causes that motivated me to stay in an abusive relationship .. My short answer is to say that I was so addicted to him by the time the physical abuse showed up that I was fogging my own reason with pity and by taking more than my share of responsibility for his abusive actions. In many ways I cared more about him than myself.. Somewhat because I viewed him as needing fixing, and wanted to get him up to my level on certain aspects like integrity and courage. He had a rough life compared to me with a broken household, largely dysfunctional parents, struggling for resources, etc. He also seems to have mild aspergers.. a very brilliant mind in many ways, but with a myriad of social and emotional inadequacies/ blind spots. It was almost like having a child even though he was only 1 year younger. I was trying to groom him as a worthy partner instead of just finding someone who was right to begin with.. Another important aspect to my relationship addiction was an avoidance of furthering myself. We met and became involved at a time when things were a little scary for me because I was really succeeding in life in general- making a self-created path. He had some of the practical knowledge I was missing (although he wasn't putting it to good use most of the time), and I thought we would make a great team. At least that is what I told myself. I know now that I took the easy way out in shifting the focus from myself to him.

Hi Everyone I'm looking to connect with women and men who are in an abusive relationship and would like to get out, or like me- left an abusive relationship and would like some support to stay out. I'm referring to romantic relationships, but we could talk about other relationships too. The idea of helping others get out of bad relationships is exciting to me. I want to give back to this community as it has helped me in regaining my individuality and reason, and oh yeah.. finally drop the person who was physically/verbally abusing me! Stefan, and all the people who have called in about this issue! The more things in common we have, the easier it may be to relate, but I'm happy to type or talk with people that are of all variations. A few things about me: female, 29 grew up in a good family that is financially secure parents did not physically abuse each other father did mildly verbally abuse mother and children (more so with mother) was spanked a few times when really little but nothing extreme Feel free to respond here or privately