This might appear like a disjointed first post, but I felt like writing something after lurking for months. I've found reading the forums to be immensely insightful and helpful, an added bonus on top of Stefan's work. You, the collective forum community have my gratitude.
I recently came across a decent and kind chap who would openly tell when I asked of his abusive mother and haughty sister, the former no relations for years and the latter heading in a similar direction and he'd briskly brush it off as though its of no consequence to his being, he 'forgave' them long ago. My mistake was not in asking his upbringing and childhood from the onset instead of around the middle of me knowing him. We'd engage in philosophical conversations (later I realized both of us where midstream philosophizing, I suck hard balls debating or arguing and getting my thoughts in order in social settings), where he would say things like, "you see this table, it's doesn't exist until i observe it", or "language is subjective it's what people agree it is" and only later I realized he would use the fallacy of ambiguity often whenever he used the words 'aware of'. He was a strong advocate of the simulation hypothesis to explain reality with Tom Campbell as his to go man. Such were the topics of our frustrating conversations, only later in the comfort of my privacy I'd reflect and try to piece things together, going through in my head mock arguments to be presented at the next opportunity. I surmised later, at least it would appear to my simple mind, that he accepted uncritically assumptions conforming to his unresolved trauma and did not know what first principles were to give as an added example.
I would struggle to get anywhere with him even though he showed great insight into some topics which was hard to identify as he would use words like 'oneness' or spiritual ideas not realizing his preferences took over and reason took a back seat. What was great is he didn't give two shits and spoke his mind with people usually in the vicinity. He's the type of person that speaks with raised voice when the situation or location does not call for it, done obviously as to be preachy but in a modest diplomatic way. 'It's a fact' or 'science has proven' were used regularly. Not to start carping on, but I find encounters like these improve my self knowledge even when done vicariously.