andrei galanciuc

Hello! That's a great aim to follow. I recommend the works of Albert Ellis and Nathaniel Branden. I thinks these books are practical: "Three minute therapy" (M.Edelstein) "Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy" (A.Ellis) "REBT: it works for me, it can for you" (A.Ellis) "Six pillars of self esteem" (N.Branden) "Honoring the self" (N.Branden) I know there are many other psychologists out there that deserve being studied. I don't know many of them. These are the two I have learnt from. I found Ellis to be very helpful because his approach is focused on your current belief system. Branden does a great job in convincing you why you deserve to appreciate yourself and to develop your thinking. I hope this helps. If you like some feedback or discuss when you study these books, post your thoughts. Best, Andrei

These are the books I have studied so far: 1) Three minute therapy (M.Edelstein) 2) Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (A.Ellis) 3) The myth of self-esteem (A.Ellis) 4) REBT: It works for me-it can work for you (A.Ellis) 5) How to stubbornly refuse to make yourself miserable about anything (A.Ellis) I specifically recommend the first two, as they lay the foundation of the therapy. I.e. the methodology is provided. Great comments you've made. I certainly appreciate the interest and the content. I agree that emotions are messages from our limbic system (i.e. unconscious). There is scientific rationale for that. They evolved to inform us about rewarding pursuits (food, warmth, sex) and dangers, concerns etc. But once they are recognized, one has the ability to control them. For instance, if you feel anxiety due to a certain event, you can diminish that anxiety to a normal level of concern. This can be done by "excavating" the irrational belief and working on it. This is what is meant by emotional control. But that is as far as I go with my approach towards the unconscious. I thought I had subpersonalities within me due to my adverse childhood. Namely I thought that my father's irrational behaviors were "ingrained within me". I had this perspective after I read Nathaniel Branden's "Six pillars of self-esteem". I studied it before REBT. I did completion sentences exercises, as well. I failed with that mystical approach. I failed because I thought I was unable to deal with these "subpersonalities". Once I took charge of my cognition after studying REBT, I got rid of the irrational system that was dominating me. It was a matter of accepting that I took over irrational behaviors because I was under the influence and threat of my father. In other words, I was living with ingrained irrational beliefs because that's what I saw and thought was right. Only when I debated rationally those beliefs, I could liberate myself of them. It was no uncontrollable unconscious driving me to act or think irrationally. It was my conscious behavior and cognition, based on unhealthy premises. I know this may sound like a confirmation bias. And I put this under question. However, given my significant improvement and consistent effect from REBT, I cannot assign my results due to bias. It is the fruit of consistent work, every single day. And I mean it; every single day. The power of REBT is in its methodology. Because the methodology is based on reason and evidence, the results are unavoidable. Regarding blind spots, I agree that I am most likely lagging here. I do not know who to ask for feedback or whether I am self-critical enough. I think I am. And I keep improving on that. I have developed a sense of objective awareness; i.e. not fooling myself with illusions. However, I know the value of an outside perspective, which I do not have, unfortunately.

In my opinion, the irrational beliefs developed during childhood remain present during adulthood, unless they are processed. Using REBT, one can find the wrong beliefs that lead to wrong behaviors and unhealthy emotions and process those beliefs. It does not mean creating yourself an illusion of everything being fine; it means that you argue logically and empirically your beliefs. And this is why I value REBT. Merely restating my irrational beliefs did not help. It was only through reason and evidence that I could get rid of those beliefs and nourish rational thoughts. Please, note that REBT does not imply manipulating emotions or ignoring them. On the contrary, one acknowledges the emotions and tries to understand why one feels so. This is self-analysis. However, the power of REBT is to not let emotions escalate into controlling your, or confusing you. In my opinion, you must be in charge of your cognition, behavior and emotions consciously. I still consider that the unconscious part of the mind is merely a mechanism that deals with our physiology (digestions, breathing etc.). I do not see how one can prove that the unconscious is a "mind of its own". It sounds mystical. And I think that people using psychoanalysis, derive stories or explanations for their actions, based on the premise that somehow their unconscious caused them. I believe that what you do is voluntary, i.e. conscious. It is a matter of finding out why you think and act in certain ways.

Thank you for the responses! I appreciate it!

Hello, everybody! I hope this message finds you well. First, I would like to give a brief summary about my approach to therapy. I started doing Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy in October 2014. It is an approach pioneered by Albert Ellis. I studied the method of the therapy, based on Ellis's books. In a nutshell, this approach focuses on finding irrational beliefs, which drive unhealthy emotions and behaviors. In other words, it is concerned with the present way of thinking. I have improved significantly with my rational thinking, although I did not work with a therapist. I did, however, study the methodology thoroughly and applied it every single day, since I started. I admit that it took me a lot of time to find my underlying irrational beliefs. I used to dedicate around 1-2 hours of work per day (writing, recording, listening to recordings etc.). I would like to ask if I benefited from doing psychoanalysis, besides REBT? I find this psychoanalytical approach rather mystical (different selves driving your behavior etc.). In my opinion, irrational beliefs formed during childhood persist in adulthood, if not treated. However, once they are recognized, they can be brought to the conscious mind and processed. At least this is the rationale behind REBT and I agree with it. What do you guys, think? How are you dealing with therapy? Looking forward to receiving your answers. Best, Andrei

Hello guys! I am Andrei. I come from Moldova but am currently studying in the Netherlands, at Erasmus University in Rotterdam. Where do you, guys, live?