SirMetalhead

That doesn't sound too far off. Perhaps I am paralyzed. I just don't want any more trouble, and disappointment. In any case, I'll do some more reflecting on all this. Yes, hence why I said this could just be a part of all the wrestling I've been watching lately.

Not that I recall. I am not sure if it's the first event I dreamed during my sleep, but as I said, definitely the most memorable. Hmmm, possibly. I mean, I have little to no social life, save for my bandmate(s) that are also good friends of mine, and I haven't dated in a little over a year. It'd be nice to have that (relationship) again, except way better, but I can't help but feel there isn't enough time for everything. It's a conundrum.

First off, damn, it's been a long time since I've been on the boards, let alone posted! For context, I am a pretty big goth. I love darkness, monsters, demons, ghouls, ghosts, graveyards, castles, metal, and (90s) WWF, amongst other things. A couple weeks ago, I had a very vivid dream, in which I met The Undertaker, and I told him he was cool. He wanted me to join his Ministry of Darkness, but I had to be initiated, which in this case, I had to let him pierce my tongue. I hesitated for a good while, and finally I backed out, because I was hearing other disembodied voices coming from other members of the ministry; they were in pain, being punished for screwing up something. He didn't like my decision. Then, Kane stepped in and saved me from The Undertaker as I ran away. Afterwards, I caught up with Kane in the parking lot and thanked him. I felt kinda star-struck and I remember spinning around and passing out. Next thing I know, I realized Kane helped me to my car and then walked off into the distance. There is more, but this is the part of the dream that stuck with me most strongly. Granted, I have been watching a lot of old attitude era Undertaker/Kane/Mankind/Paul Bearer on YouTube, so it could simply be that I was just remembering it all from how I've spent my downtime lately. But, I think there could be something my unconscious is trying to tell me, metaphorically, possibly about myself. I have mainly been very fascinated by The Undertaker, but after a little time to think about it, I think my dream MAY have had something to do with me and my own brother. I have forgotten how much more I sympathize and relate to Kane, as he is the younger brother, who never really fit in with anyone, had a hard time finding where he belonged and when it came to career success, despite wanting to be a better champion than his older brother, failed. Similarly, my older brother has his own house, quite well off, financially, and I am still living with my parents and working on my own business, though I haven't failed by any means. It's just taking longer than I expected. Unfortunately, my parents (specifically my mom) don't quite understand this. She is afraid that I don't know who I am and am still figuring out what I want to do. It's frustrating trying to explain what I do and what my goals are to her, not to mention that her perceptions of me are so off the mark from the reality. Generally, she is just concerned for me, and I have come a long way from just arguing with her and throwing a tantrum when I've had enough. So yeah, does anyone have any thoughts on this, or perhaps any of this sparked curiosity? I just felt like sharing.

San Antonio here!

My parents, especially my mom, scream like maniacs every time their team is playing. They have 3 religions, Catholicism, Statism and Sports-ism. It's pathetic. I once recorded my mom on video watching her team many years ago without her knowing. But, I strongly believe there's no difference between sports, politics and their followers. Maybe just that one forces you to play their game.

My parents do that constantly, like broken records, I can predict everything they say before they say it, and they're loud about it. They also yell like maniacs when they watch sports games, making a big shit about someone not catching the ball, not getting a call, etc. It's pretty hysterical, and pathetic, if you ask me. My mom goes a step further by religiously watching the news/MSNBC and idiotically rants about evil Republicans, Donald Trump, and so forth. There's no use trying to have any reasonable debate, she will attack me (verbally) and/or just write off everything I say; it's literally like talking to a brick wall. So, I have to deaden myself inside just to tolerate being in the same vicinity of both my parents. Woah......I hope I didn't overdo it. I just saw Anthony's topic and it rung true for me. I sure hope this kind of arguing isn't normal. I'd rather live alone than have to deal with that in a relationship.

Yes. So the story of the witch goes like this. One day, my cousin and I were alone with my Aunt (we were quite little, I'd say I was late kinder/early elementary and my cousin is 2 years younger than me). She wanted us to take a nap/stay with her on the bed, but we wanted to play with toys. She told us the "bruja" (spanish for witch) would get us if we went to the other room to play, but I wanted to play, and my cousin followed my lead. So we went to the room to grab our toys, but then, from behind the shelf near the doorway, I saw the hat of that ugly witch slowly poke up, and when I saw it's face I froze. When it's eyes lit up green and made that awful wailing, my cousin and I were scared shitless. Somehow we must've missed my Aunt controlling it when we ran out of the room. The last thing I remember from that ordeal was us being very afraid curled up with my Aunt and her saying, "You see? I told you!" Since then, that witch has freaked me out, and I'd feel very nervous around it, like it was alive. Yes, there is. For me, it's crying or playing guitar, although they're pretty passive, in that they're not very physical. I wish I could express my anger more physically, but that reminds me too much of my parents, and even if I could in a healthy way...my parents sure love to be loud, obnoxious, and downright immature when they throw shit fits, but if I do anything remotely similar or make the slightest audible thump, they'd sure notice that and go, "What was that!?" or similarly criticize my behavior. I feel that I do have a lot of pent up anger, at certain people, at the world, etc. and you could say Godzilla is there to compensate for my feelings of helplessness. Oh, and yeah, Power Rangers were awesome! My favorite was the Green Ranger!

Yes, good point, Matt D, I agree.

Yes, very good points, Archimedes! Thanks!

I wanted to take a moment and talk about one of my childhood (super)heroes, which is one of the first things I remember being really into, who to this day, still have as much interest and fascination with. That hero is...Godzilla. Being an adult, and also being into self knowledge, I can now see why I loved/love Godzilla so much. As a kid, I was shy, bullied at home and at school, felt small and weak, like I couldn't stand up for myself or say what's on my mind for fear of upsetting someone, getting into more escalated confrontation with other kids at school, or negative reactions from either the parents (primarily mom) or teachers. I also did feel pretty alone, as I didn't have very many friends, nor did my parents or older sibling spend much time with me or relate. So when I saw Godzilla, an unstoppable force of nature, not afraid of anyone or anything, can take on and beat any enemy, and could do whatever he wanted, you could say I wished I could be like Godzilla. There were times where he fought bizarre monsters that weirded me out, were scary-looking, or were bigger/very strong, but when I saw Godzilla wasn't afraid and fought hard, it made me feel strong. There was one time I remember vividly when I was a kid on Halloween. My Aunt had her haunted house set up in the living room, and hanging from the center of the room, was an animated prop witch that I was VERY afraid of (there is a reason for this, which is important, but I'll go more into this later if you're curious) . But playing on TV in that same room was a Godzilla movie that I wanted to watch, so I endured sitting in the same room with that witch to see Godzilla kick ass. Seeing this comforted me some, almost as if I needed to channel my inner Godzilla to not be afraid of the witch. So, I'd have to say, I did/do have an emotional attachment to Godzilla. The character is a symbol of strength for me, even now, when a lot of these feelings of helplessness, insignificance, and even anger, still persist, though in different forms. I'm not sure if this is a bad, that I connect/ed with and consider/ed a city-destroying monster as a hero/symbol of strength, but I did want to share this. I wasn't sure where to post, so I did it in misc. What do you all think? Can anyone relate?

Yes, Anthony, that is more acceptable. I accept, as well, that sexual drive in nature/naturally is for having children. I also must say that AncapFTW has a good point about only one type of sex (heterosexual vaginal sex) leading to having kids, and I think that was one of my main qualms. But, I have accepted that I was making a fallacy, as well as taking this personally. I appreciate everyone's input on this. I felt like I needed this kind of discussion instead of just letting it keep bothering me.

Thanks for your response, Libertus, and the link. I appreciate it. This is helpful in clearing things up, and I realize I was taking a lot of this personally. I'm sorry.

Yes, GB, I agree. That makes sense.

Thank you, Agalloch! This is more helpful to me. I will re-read your 4 points multiple times, so that I can fully understand, but even now, I understand better than before. So in a way, it is one of those deals about in general, not exceptions. Your number 3 point I do like. Describing this as a species trait makes more sense to me, and makes more sense why Stef would use the wording he did.

I'm sorry, but it doesn't help. I know I don't want kids, and am bi, yet I desire sex, and also am sure I will find that sex pleasurable. Is the reason homosexuals have sexual desire/pleasure for having kids? I understand if you're talking about generalities, not exceptions, but at least acknowledge so. That's why I say it's more accurate to say sexual desire is PRIMARILY for children, not ONLY. I hope this isn't coming across as a mean/malevolent response, but I must be honest.