A Madman Person Guy

I think that I actually have to disagree with that, if for no other reason than the anecdotal (not that I won't try and make a plausible logical explanation). In my experience, and the way I see things, it's actually the other way around. At least, as far as male-female relationships are concerned. Because a man can't be a genuine friend of a woman he's attracted to without either being used or becoming miserable, and a woman can't be a genuine friend of a man she's attracted to without feeding some serious insecurity issues or, again, becoming miserable. The man wants to act on the sexual tension immediately, because male sexuality works like that, wants confirmation of his masculinity and wants not to be used. The woman, conversely, traditionally doesn't have to worry nearly as much about getting exploited, and has a much easier time staying "just friends" when the situation isn't reciprocal, but if she can't confirm her attractiveness or "anchor" her emotions through some other means she will likely start developing a devastating inferiority complex. And from either position it's a short step between unrequited love and spite. Usually it's only when the sexual tension of the situation has been disarmed, either through them already having sex or some other coincidence, that they can view each other in a more rational, emotionally calm manner. I do contradict my own theory at times, I'll admit. Particularly back in school I had mainly female friends, some of which I've kept, several of whose bones I'd jump with a good enough excuse. But looking at those relationships, I would maintain that they're atypical for any average male. And I would maintain that the reason I'm able to do this sort of thing isn't because of a healthy, normal male mentality; rather, I can act like this because I'm one of those unpleasant people who has that little "Emotions On/Off" toggle in my head for me to flip at will. A dissociation that most guys don't have, and which isn't stable in the long run. Which I'd argue is a good thing; if people could completely put a lid on their feelings for one another for the sake of proximate reasons we'd have stopped breeding a long time ago. Sex gets in the way, as usual. Without it complicating the equation of human interaction, you suspect that people would suddenly be able to think a lot more clearly. Though the further implications of that should be stuff for another thread, I suspect.

That is quite depressing to hear, but as much as I want to go on, I just have to ask; how'd you get moved around like that?

While I don't question the validity of your observations, I'm going to come out and say this straight; I think you greatly underestimate the level of self-repression that people are capable of if they have been culturally inundated enough. Yes, it's true that we Swedes are good at speaking clearly about certain things, and yes it's true that we are polite and civil almost to a fault. But this is only made possible due to the tacit understanding among us all of what's okay to talk about, and what's okay to do in a social environment. We even had a sort of self-referentially satirical humor show called "Inte Okej" (Not OK) on TV this last summer where a Swedish comedian and director by the name of Felix Hernegren made analyses of certain social behaviors and mores over here and quite a few jabs at our commonly held perceptions. And one suspects that the only reason he got the approval for that show was due to the fact that, among other things, we're also supposed to be world champions at self-deprecation... The sum of the thought ethos in Swedish culture, and particularly academia, as I would describe it after having suffered my years passing through the system, is something along the lines of "You can think whatever you want, so long as it's the right thing". Oh, we uphold freedom of speech, again to a fault, and strive painstakingly to present things in as non-judgmental a fashion as we can. In public conversation, in the workplace, in media. But then again, that says nothing about what we choose to talk about, or connected to what topic. It says nothing about subtext or insinuation or suggestion. And both Swedish politicians and teachers and the Swedish press have over time become fantastically good at cherry picking and making their formulations very carefully. We may not allow the same level of foot-in-mouth talk and sentimentalism as for instance some American cable news channels, and have learned to restrain ourselves from e.g. hyperbole in a fantastic fashion. But even if you're not "allowed" to apply the same amount of spin, sometimes that's hardly a problem; you just have to make it more efficient. How is this relevant, you might ask? Well, it's relevant in that it ties into the high density of political correctness that occupies this place. If there is any country that holds strongly to the naivist dogma of social constructionism and non-innateness of human traits, it's Sweden. Neither is the reason for the other, I suspect. Rather, they seem symptomatic of some more deeply rooted problem, which I suspect has its seat in the academies. And this in turn is relevant in that Swedes are traditionally "overeducated", and have been for a long time, thanks to our public education system. Which is not to say we're on average much smarter; it's just that so many of us are "intellectualized" and steeped in the theories that hold sway in academia the world over. And while they can be practically clever, most people aren't sly enough or motivated to apply even further levels of analysis or critical thinking than the tenured ones who get paid to write stuff down have already done... I could go on to describe and delineate the problems even further, but to put it short; Tweety is right. And the reason the illusion can be maintained is because we Swedes now have doublethink in our culture. The system is self-reinforcing, applying both individually from the bottom up and politically and academically from the top down. The sad thing is that I don't know quite what to do about it, but I suspect a good start might be forcing all Swedish teachers and students alike to read "The Blank Slate"...