Katkat

Cao, Marko.. I am glad to see that there is another person from Serbia here in fdr community!

I am not in the right place to say what would help you. I somehow related to this post cause I am very confused, I am starting to as pill the layers of my emotions and thoughts, started thinking about myself and things that bother me, even if I am not in place to journal (like in bus, or at school, etc) . And it's not rarely to find myself unable to function on daily basics, I lost track of time,I am not in the moment with surrounding, I forget to eat, I stay up late, I can't maintain conversation that somehow I find not interest in at that moment, so everyone around me started feeling that something is going on. I don't think it's good, I am sometimes very nervous because of it, but when I get things it's very pleasant and it gives me more strength to continue and I feel like it's just about practicing every day, and it's getting better. So, just try to think about balancing thing in your day, try to set some roles for yourself that will help you achieve what you want, don't attack yourself for not achieving everything you set as goal, but try to be happy if you do somethings, and so you will encourage yourself to continue. It's not like wasting day after day, but give yourself time, you don't want to be bad parent to yourself. I hope this is somehow helpful for you or anyone.

Well, as I am becoming more aware of the lies I told myself, and I can not proudly say that I am very courageous person, since I have very big deal with breaking bad habits and stuff that are a lot easier to do than those inner stuff. Since I am I student, and I can't still afford good therapist, I am trying to journal, it seems a bit more helpful then I thought it would be. That is the way I caught myself in these delusions I had. I would love to hear from you. Thanks

I just recently started listening FDR and having conversations with a friend about finding true self,about relationships, about my childhood etc., and it didn't turn out well on both sides. And all I could think off as a reason(I am sure there are more reasons then this one) is the thing that I wasn't honest with myself, which means that I couldn't be honest with him either. Since this relationship (I guess) did not survive.I do not have anyone to talk to about this. And the thing that bothers me most is that I can't trust to myself, so I started (over)questioning every single thing that comes to my mind. Because I came to some thoughts earlier that I considered to be true, and it wasn't that hard, and didn't turn out to be true.So I am afraid that I will continue doing things in easy way and wrong way(I am still trying not to be conformist) and maintain in being constantly contradictory with myself. I do not feel alone, I feel lonely in this process of mine, cause my current friends do not get me AT ALL, but are constantly trying to spend time with me, and I am too scared to stop all of them, so I am trying to have constructive conversations with them, but it's not happening. And it is really tough and depressing, so I would like to meet someone that can connect on this and maybe skype sometime.