I don't mean to piggy-back off of this post, but I'm in a simliar situation as Gavin, and I believe you might be able to help. I have been dating my girlfriend for a year and a half, the first half was long distance before we moved in together. we're mid 20's. she's caucasian, straight(mostly), monogamous. I am half asian, half caucasian, pan, polygamous/polyamorous(though I've already told her I don't mind single 1x1 relationships) Things that I love about her:
She's nice and good with her 4 year old brother and my niece and nephew. She has a good sense of humor. She's beautiful, (but has put on a lot of weight since we started dating to the point I am worried about her health. From everything I can tell she's been honest 90-95% of the time (she did lie about being willing to travel with me when we start dating, then when I asked if she would after moving in together she said she really doesn't want to, but might be willing to consider Germany. After a couple months I asked because I found a school that offered courses I need and be able to attend as a partner school to my current university and she said no she didn't want to leave her friends and family. though other than that she's seemed to tell the truth. I say seemed because everything seems like the truth until it's found to be a lie) She is open to trying polygamous relationships, and we talked to a mutual friend about it but they ended up dating someone else before we had things settled out. (This is on I love because she's willing to accept my views on relationships without me forcing her to, she was actually the one who asked since they were close friends.) she comes from a single parent house-hold like I do, so we understand some of the struggles we both face(though my parents separated, but lived together for the kids until I turned 16 while hers apparently had a nasty divorce when she was 10, and she has a mentally, maybe physically, abusive brother. and just recently she found out her step dad has been cheating on her mom for the past year, while her dad's wife left him because she was bored with the relationship. making me wonder if her family is good at all with picking relationships) we share the same type of hobbies and music interests. I can have friends and be able to have them over or spend the night at their house without her freaking out, which is something my ex wasn't okay with.(I don't know if I should include this one because it's more just being in a good/trusting relationship)
Things I don't really love about her:
I had to move to her state to be with her because she didn't want to leave her friends and family, who aren't really productive members of society, and more just "get by" which I've been trying to get her to see they aren't doing anything with their lives and are just holding her back. she has anxiety attacks over nothing, but refuses to talk to a psychologist about it. (she says she's tried convincing her mom to make an appointment for her but she hasn't done anything herself) I don't mean this in a mean way, but she isn't doesn't have an aptitude for academics, but her drawing and special effect/make-up skills are in my own opinion amazing. (this is on don't really love because she still won't go to school to get better at it, or try to get a job that lets her do this type of work) she doesn't have a drive to go far in life she doesn't want to travel and I love traveling, I've spent a year in Japan, a couple months in Germany, and some time in Canada.(was traveling while we were dating long distance) she'd highly shy, and has a hard time speaking her mind, on more than one occasion she's had to tell me something just for me to address it to the group of friends for her. she says she wants to lose weight because she became obese, but each time she starts to she hangs out with friends or her mom and goes out drinking or partying and drops the diet after between 2 weeks and 2 months. (the longest we were able to get into a healthy eating habit with working out was 2 months and a couple days before she said she promised her friends she'd hang out, then they went drinking, and she started not working out with me anymore and buying personal cakes and such)
I do want to say I think I love her, but I am also only in my 20's so I don't know if love is something as romantic as every one tries to claim. I see it more as a list of checks and "X"s with the higher check ratio meaning more love. I want to wait until I am at least in Graduate school where I'll be able to get a some money for researching while going to school to have kids while she wants to have them "in the next year or two"
