It's extremely difficult to reach out and talk to people. I feel so unwelcome in the neighborhood where I bought my house and at work where I've been for several years. There's like high school type drama at work and it's real cliquish, it's just really awful.
I can't get in and change my profile- but I'm a forty year old guy. The name can be deceiving. I live in the most corrupt in the union next to California. I want to say more about what I do for employment, but for some reason, I decided to use my actual name. Suffice to say, I work on and around 200 ton equipment in a union job where the pay is just too good to just pack up and leave. I wish I could. I want to move to New Hampshire. I am mentally and physically (I love the cold) ready to move to Alaska.
I love dogs, more specifically, chows. I have a year and a half old blue chow male.
I obsess over Rock n' Roll, like The New York Dolls, Johnny Thunders, Slaughter And The Dogs, The Saints, Roxy Music, The Gun Club, and Bowie. This stuff is so important to me. I like renaissance music and find myself tuning in on the hurdy gurdy. Someday, I plan on figuring out how to play it.
I like ancient European and early American history.
I've always shunned away from norms and rejected fitting in to society since I can remember. I guess it's just something I do. I didn't have any idea why I did it when I was a kid. I flat out rejected school my entire k-12 experience. I went to college for a bit, but I had no direction. All of my teenage years and some of my twenties were all about punk rock until I was so desperate to get out of it, that I thought by joining the military, I could start over and have a decent life and some kind of occupational skill. Funny, because I've never been good with authority. I guess I found some way to just swallow my need to rebel because it meant my life was gonna be awesome when I was done. I always thought that if I could figure out what it is I wanted, I wouldn't have had to dabble in everything and ended up with something more akin to happiness.
I used to read a lot of fantasy books. Done with that. I read a lot of William S. Burroughs, Charles Bukowski, a little James Joyce, some Yeats as young man. I like to write poetry to women- it's how I met all the women I dated when I was younger.
I guess by never figuring out what I wanted in life, I am here, now looking for philosophy. I love it when information hits me like a revelation. I love it when things make sense and they connect. What little I know of philosophy, like what Stefan Molyneux has discussed on his intro to Philosophy, has changed my life. I want more of that.