Halp

hello everybody, ive decided to stay anonymous. just two weeks ago discovered Stefan Molyneux youtube channel and the immense value it holds, in fact, i almost cant stop listening and therefor thank everyone at fdr and its supporters. im 24 years old, male and german. i have always had trouble making friends. with the few people i got a little close ive never maintained contact. for a few years now im a very miserable and depressed person. i have online friends but just recently, after spending a few months exclusively with an amazing person on the internet, who sadly had to leave, realized how deeply i want a person like that to bond with in my life. it more or less became a goal now. my childhood definitely was troublesome, listening to fdr made that even more clear to me. im currently not working and aside from a variety of internships never have. this partially has to do with a bad school history preventing me from even applying for jobs i would find interest in. to be completely honest ive talked myself into rather being dead than working a job i dislike. here i hope to receive some advice to plan my future and look forward to post and reading your thoughts.