Gloria

"To determine the true rulers of any society, all you must do is ask yourself this question: Who is it that I am not permitted to criticize?" Kevin Strom This is what shows in the box just prior to this comment. Just find that amusing on some level. Stefan, in my mind, provides much of the content by way of his you tube videos, his body language one could argue, is a part of his presentation (allowing for the consideration that what I think I witnessed was true and not a mistake , as one pointed out he often puts his fingers to his mouth, etc.). I attempted to direct a question to him in my original post (naive given his rise in popularity) It never occurred to me that some would take it as a false accusation if you will. The discussion has unraveled far more important considerations, I think. And so , to use a hook if you will, in a headline, doesn't meet kindly with all participants. I will try to tame my poetic license. As to the , "only matters in a sitcom" ...statement. I take exception to such dismissal of what could be a potential "red flag" to someone exposed to a high level of stress, good or bad, yet to be determined. We can not help children if we simply dismiss them and frankly to observe their physical condition , including body language, is something I would like to promote as something we can all be mindful of. Thank you. I am unfamiliar with the upvote/ downvote concept , and would like to learn. I see there are reputation points. That seems intuitive. I do think there were originally downvotes that were removed, or counteracted by positive votes. Is that correct?

I started it and am not sure either :-) An onion perhaps. I am very new to this forum and any kind of a blog like this. I mean no harm, just trying to participate.

Thanks. This is helpful information. Let me rewind a little. It is a philosophy forum, on which, one of the predefined categories or subjects is peaceful parenting. I did use that tag, or certainly it was my intent to do so ...allowing for user error. I sought simply to see if there was a correlation between the behavior of nail-biting and how one was raised. Allowing for erroneous and immature deviations from the original point (on the part of myself and possibly others), is this point a valid point to bring up in this forum? If I understand your point, it is not. Are you also saying that the effect of one's parenting "style" is outside the conversation, or was the original establishment of "parenting" as a subject, outside the subject of philosophy? ( it having already been established upon my arrival and hearing Stefan speak of it, I "assumed" it was within the universe of the forum's topics. I am curious, for instance, had I originally posted a question about; the physical posture of a child that is beaten repeatedly versus the posture of a child that has never been beaten, would that have been worthy of discussion?

I found this totally amusing as well :-) Probably true :-) Good call !

Thanks! I watched the entire video and will ponder this further ...hope this doesn't post twice! LOL Great video!!!

I will further ponder your position. My deeper concern at the moment is if we truly have the freedom to discuss this topic while allowing for change of heart and moreover the confidentiality one needs to openly discuss such subjects so as to mediate in good faith without fear of some future retaliation. My fear is not of you, clearly you have based your position of some reflection, but I am new to this forum and as of now not knowing and secure in the agenda of all participants, etc. Thanks for sharing! I watched the entire view and will contemplate these thoughts :-)

Wow! That is a mouthful ...Thank You :-) I identify with Kelly Ann ...what greater compliment can one pay. Complaining about posts getting attention ...totally lost on me ...not sure what provoked this response. Please comment further. I hypothesized that perhaps the interest was because of Stefan, and left it open at that. Please either conclude, for or against, with some discussion. Maybe you aren't cut out for this ...ahhh yes ...the left shoe drops. Let's tidy things up with an insult. Balls in your court!

Where does one begin ...concern trolling ...great term, first I have heard it. I agree for a guy, i.e. Stefan ...no one gives a damn if he bites his nails. Ahhh ...but the judgements seem different for females ...perhaps?? I saw some take a shot at Kelly Ann Conway over this pic: I see Mother of Four ...successful career and nails that show it. Others are not so kind or understanding. I myself look this bad more often than not. I had a reoccurring dream as a kid and the only way out of "the danger" was to bite ones own nails ...and so I comply. I can often with intense consideration for my reputation, or will to appeal to my husband, overcome it for a few months ...but inevitably one breaks and as they say ....the rest is history. I find it amusing this topic took such attention. Is that because I took a hit at Stefan or for some other reason? Love it ...sometimes to test the waters ..one needs to throw a curve ball :-)

It takes one to know one and I did notice. Does it concern you Stefan? I try to stop; as it is a very unbecoming look for a woman, but I am guessing that , much like weight issues, these vices come from less than peaceful upbringings. Do you agree? Or, perhaps, this is simply a indicator of something else. I have often noticed it in people I would describe as high achievers, but I have also noticed it in people with severe drug or alcohol dependencies. It could just be a quirk that some of us have and others do not. It "runs in my family."

I think I was shy about this post last weekend. It is very sensitive to me. I would like to introduce a consideration. Any treatment of an individual that reflects any preconceived opinion based on anything other than previous experience with said individual is prejudice, and if it's specific to the person's race it's racist. Let's call this micro racism. The problem I think we are having now is upon reflection of a group's (when a certain demographic is in the majority) behavior, especially when that reflection takes on a negative tone or is critical; while although based on observations of systemic behaviors or outcomes, some still try to say this is racist. i.e., public schools in the inner city are failing. some would say that is a racist statement. It may in fact be true, and it may in fact be an analysis of a population that is homogeneous. Any true analysis, based on facts, is not racist. Does this sound correct?

I'm not proud LOL I picked my husband up on line , close to twenty years ago. I am a born conservative. I did not however , put my pic and profile out there ...oh no ...I am not that bait. No lady would shame herself! LOL Put your own pic out there with a well written profile ...hook in the water and wait. Now ...times have seriously changed ...if the majority of the women are liberal ...your hook may be in the wrong pond. A very, very dear friend of mine once said ...find a man with a hobby! Cars, etc. The oldest joke in the book about college is the Mrs. degree ...nice girls know where to look ....I think :-) Good Luck!

Smart analysis, well done.

I thought Predestination rather than Free Will was the Corner stone of the Protestant Reformation. I find it an impossible argument to completely resolve for either position.

WOW! First a prayer...may God help you and your family. You have asked for opinions and so I feel comfortable offering you mine. I don't seek to tell you what to do or make you feel insecure, just trying to help. I will be brief, as these tips are based on my own experience. Based on an analysis of outcomes ...my kids all very healthy and highly successful in school, I consider my opinion at least as valid as any other. 1. never strike any one in the household ever again! 2. ANYTIME a child awakes during the middle of the night they should immediately be taken, gently, to the bathroom and allowed to use the potty. 99 percent of bad dreams etc. is simply the body's way of waking us up because some biological issue needs to be tended to. They may not realize this is the problem so please be patient. Too much cuddling in the middle of the night should not be necessary. It's about ; peeing, needing fluids, or possibly a sense of security which frankly you as the father need to address by simply telling your kids you are there to protect everyone. 3. They need a better diet. I strongly recommend an increase in protein and total removal of pure sugars. My favorite for kids is liverwurst! (try different ones until they find one they love) Yes you heard that right. Try it ..try red meats, peanut butter (if there is no allergy), turkey, chicken. Anytime is the right time for this if the kid is having tantrums. Using the clock to decide when to feed your child is foolish. If you ever see them biting at themselves, this is definitely the problem. You need to improve your own diet and high protein low sugars will be good for you also. Get them on daily vitamins for a while with IRON!! Lack of IRON is probably your number one concern for behavior type issue. In the U.S. they sell vitamin drops for babys that contain iron. Usually a couple dropper fulls over the course of one week will bring immediate correction to crazy behavior. 4. Once the kids diets have been corrected and peace has been restored (no more than two weeks if you make #3 happen), you need to focus on getting yourself off the pain killers. This will be the most difficult thing you have ever attempted (most likely). Turn yourself into a health food nut and make exercise your religion. You will be a beast for probably 72 hours. Get yourself a "cleanse" at the vitamin store. PRAY often. Alcoholics discuss this at length if that helps any. 5. Hug your wife and thank her for all of her care and support!!!!! Go and be happy :-)

I am curious about any risk to you professionally if it does or doesn't work out. That could be the sub conscience thing holding you back and you do not recognize it. If there is no risk professionally for either of you ...ask her out. You never know until you try.