Ronin_3000

I don't know. I know that I can be petty sometimes. Like just now, I bought some blueberries that were on a 2 for 1 sale, but I didn't get a receipt, and I'm not sure that the discount was applied. I'm thinking a lot over this issue which is only worth about 6$.

It wouldn't be a huge problem if it happened again since my time is not worth much. I am taking this stand on principle. I am holding my therapist to the standards that he holds his patients to.

My therapist recently made his second scheduling error, which resulted in me going to an appointment for which he was not present. I believe his policy on patients who want to cancel appointments is that they should cancel at least 24 hours before. If the patient fails to cancel in time then they are expected to pay for the cost of the session even if they do not attend. I forgave my therapist the first time he fucked up. However, this time I have decided that there needs to be consequences for his actions. He is asking me to "be compassionate," but I replied that I am being compassionate by giving him a chance to make up for his mistakes. My proposed solution is that he pay me the price of a single session + parking fees to repay me for my wasted time. My alternative proposition is he pays me nothing now, but if he makes another scheduling error, then he pays me 10x the value of a single session. I texted him these propositions last night, and so far he hasn't responded. Thoughts?

No, you're fine.

I said in my first post that I think the thing I value is pleasure. If not that, what could it be? A feeling of being desired?

I agree with that. How does this relate to me or the elephant on the rope?

I guess the person who chooses. Agreed. Not sure what you mean by verify our own belief systems.

Not sure what you're getting at. If I was to extend the elephant thing, then I might say failing as an adult might make you not want to try again as an adult. Are you asking how I think the elephant thing relates to me?

When you try something and fail in childhood, you don't try as an adult because you've been conditioned to think you'll fail.

I wasn't familiar, but I just looked it up, so now I'm familiar.

I see your point. Maybe addiction could be when a person continues using a drug out of habit rather than for its effects. However, one could make the argument that addiction would only occur if there was still an issue that needed medicating.

I would say they never become separate categories. Addiction is just a more extreme form of self-medication.

I would say you're using smoking as self-medication for an underlying issue. Maybe you should try to address the issue rather than use drugs.

I answered you, but my post is pending approval for some reason. Anyway, the short answer is no.

Nope, but I have enjoyed marijuana about a dozen times in the past. I've smoked hooka twice and enjoyed it. I had the urge to smoke weed yesterday when I heard that the kids from the Hampstead alleged satanic cult were able to recount their stories in such exquisite detail possibly because their stepfather gave them cannabis products.

I'm not looking to cause harm. I don't think I'm trying to provoke people. I guess it depends on what you mean by provoke. I recognize that my lust might never be satisfied no matter how many different women I have sex with. I don't really have any other higher goal in my mind than sex though.

Yup. I identify a lot with him. One part in which we differ is that I am more selfish than him. Stefan convinced him that he can achieve fulfillment by stopping future circumcisions, but I am envious of people who aren't cut. I experience a sense of comfort when I see cut dicks in porn, and I feel a sense of happiness, or schadenfreude when there is someone who's worse off than me like the caller.

Why is satisfying lusts immoral? Isn't eating satisfying a lust? Why does Stefan recommend therapy if therapists aren't wise?

I like having unprotected sex, and would do it with many girls if possible. The reason is because it is more pleasurable than wearing a condom. I theorize that the reason I seek the pleasure of raw sex is because some capacity for pleasure was taken from me through circumcision. I recognize that unprotected casual sex is a potential act of child abuse in that it can result in an unwanted pregnancy. I am not thoroughly evaluating the characters of women I sleep with, so the women may potentially be abusive mothers. The women may decide to have abortions, which is murder. If the women decide to have the babies, I think I might run away from being a father. I asked my therapist if someone like me who risks the well-being of children in exchange for carnal pleasure is morally corrupt or should have children. He said that morally corrupt is too strong a term, and would say I am morally problematic or something like that. He also said single-motherhood is not necessarily a bad thing. That even if I run away from my children, the children may still have good lives. What do you think about my views and my therapists views regarding them?

My therapist mentioned that he has a supervisor who watches tapes of his sessions and critiques them. He doesn't tape our sessions though. I asked if I could see his supervisor as a client, but my therapist said it would violate some kind of therapist code of conduct. What is he talking about? He said he'd explain everything during our next session, but that is a week and a half away since I'm skipping this week. I emailed him asking if this is a rule that applies to all patients or if it has something to do with the content we have discussed. He ignored this question though. What could this be about? Does anyone know what rule in the therapist code of ethics my therapist is referring to?

When I said that she let my sister be in a position where she could be molested, she started playing the sarcastic victim. Normally she is very cheerful, and I view this as a kind of fake personality of hers, but she assures me it's real. She started saying things like, "Yes, it's all my fault, and maybe I shouldn't have had kids since they could be molested. Maybe I should have kids since they could be hit by a nuclear bomb." She says that molestation is widespread, and one's children being molested is not evidence of bad parenting. She references the #Metoo movement as evidence for the widespreadness of molestation. She implies that my criminal behavior is not evidence of her bad parenting. She says that most boys act violently as children, but when they become adults, they must exercise impulse control. Perhaps she would admit that she modeled bad impulse control for me growing up.

I've been violent all my life, but I recently committed two criminal acts of property destruction and assault that have made me want to examine how I was raised. Anyhow, tonight I questioned my mom on mistakes she believes her parents made when parenting her. The first thing she said was that her dad once molested her when she was 12 by tongue-kissing her after he came home from work. I am the only one in our immediate family she has told. Also, my dad told me that his parents spanked him, but my mom didn't know this until I told her. Anyhow, this reminded me of how my sister got molested by her boss a few years ago. She was around 19, and her boss tried to kiss her while they were alone. My mom doesn't want me telling anyone about my mom's molestation because she is embarrassed by it. I at least want to tell my sister though, so I asked my mom through email how she felt about me sending the following email to my sister: "I recently learned that molestation may be a systemic issue in our family. You are not the only one who has been molested. I recommend talking to (mom's name) if you want to learn more." Another parallel between my mom's parents and mine are that my grandparents got divorced when she was a teenager, and my parents considered getting a divorce when I was a teenager. I remember my mom asking my opinion on whether she and my dad should get divorced or not. Another parallel is that my grandmother would throw things when she was angry, and I've done this kind of thing as well.

I watched the origin of sexual fetishes podcast, and it made me hypothesize that 99% of sexual deviancy, ranging from homosexuality to pedophilia might be the result of childhood experiences. What do you think? Also, are there any more podcasts I can listen to on this topic? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_52h6TDOPU&t=109m34s

I just watched it. I don't do drugs like the caller, but I do play games and do escapist things. I'm going to see my therapist tomorrow. Do you have any recommendations on what to ask him or talk to him about?