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Hi All, Lately I've encouraged my girlfriend to read up on the circumcision debate. I wanted to know whether she would circumcise any sons she might have, and whether she was in favor of involuntary circumcision. So far she's fine with not circumcising any sons she may have, but I'm still not clear on whether she finds involuntary circumcision immoral. She said she wants to read more about it. She likened involuntary circumcision to the fact that parents make many medical decisions for their kids. I'm not sure what to make of this. I want to wait and see how her opinion changes as she reads more, but I can't help but wonder what it means that based on what she already has read, she appears to harbor zero outrage that involuntary circumcision was done to me and remains a widespread practice. She is now aware that a huge number of men remain intact without ill effects, and that circumcision carries risks and long-term adverse consequences. Should I be worried about this woman? There's so much I love about her, but I want our values to line up and for her to be a great wife and mother.
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Hello Guys This will be a very long post... I want to share with you my journey with FDR so far: I discovered Stefs podcasts on youtube about three or four years ago (I am now 27). I was watching a lot of political and atheist debates at the time. I think it could have been the video “19 tough questions for Libertarians”. Anyways I started to watch more and more of his videos and just loved the stuff. The NAP videos, the property rights, it all fit together and that was great, since in what I have heard before, there was always somewhere a hidden contradiction. The next big milestone I think was the argument from morality and the UPB book. My interest started to shift towards ethics. (It had come from atheism over politics, society / economics, libertarianism / freedom). So I started really digging into the idea of rational scientific ethics, which I still find extremely fascinating and important. I am also currently working on a book of my own trying to improve UPB. I want to share it with you some day, but so far it is still not ready. Also the RTR book was a real eyeopener for me. I think around 2 years ago I read it and also introduced it into my relationship with Rahel, my girlfriend. It had a truly wonderful effect on our relationship and allowed us to come closer and closer to each other ever since. Then in November 2015 I saw the truth about circumcision video. It hit me like a hammer blow to the head! I have seen the video in the recommended videos on youtube for probably 2 months before I finally watched it. I think I was afraid of it. But I also wanted to see what Stef had to say about it, since it also pertains to me. I grew up Jewish, so I was circumcised just after birth. I was very shocked and confused and I went to Rahel and asked her to watch the video with me. She also was shocked and said that she had never thought about it, (Circumcision is not common in Europe), but that for sure we would never do this to our future kids. The following month I was very shocked and disoriented, and I could barely think of anything else. I just could not grasp it that I was the victim of a human rights violation and that my parents were the perpetrators. In January 2016 I wrote them a letter that I handed to my mom when she came to visit the town where I now lived. I was stomach-turningly nervous and so was Rahel, when we went to meet her. (She came with me to assist me in this difficult task.) In the letter I told my parents that I have come to realize that circumcision was wrong, that I want to talk about it with them and that I expect an apology from them. I also put the link to the video in there. They have been very uncooperative in finding dates to talk about it. In the past 1.5 years we have maybe had 5 conversations about it, always initiated by me calling multiple times and insisting on it. It is now also just one year that I started going to therapy. It was very hard for me to start going to therapy. I talked a lot about trying it to Rahel, but I never actually went and did it. In fact she started to go to therapy before I did because of exam anxiety. I supported her going to therapy very much, but I myself kept merely talking about it. At some point she kind of kicked my ass to just go and do it, which was a very good thing. She finished therapy after roughly a year, I am still in therapy and probably will be for some time to come. I think I am now at the point where my emotions start to come back to life. I am still often dissociated, but sometimes I feel a lot of sadness or anger. It has happened twice in the past 4 weeks that I really broke down crying and sobbing. Also just two weeks ago I felt for the first time real anger towards my parents for an extended period of time. It was not just like a flair up that I immediately suppressed back to zero, but it lasted for around two days. The reason for this was that my mom has written me to invite me to a dinner at my grandparents birthday. I called her and said that I dont want to go there and act all happy as if everything was fine, but that I first want to sort out the things that we still have not sorted out. I also said that Rahel has offered to act as an arbitrator between us, since she felt (correctly) that we were not getting anywhere. So my mom said that she would talk it over with my dad and that we could maybe meet the following weekend (14 days ago). Then the next day she sent me a text that we could not meet on the weekend, because my dad was planning to go on a skiing trip the week after and these conversations make him feel unstable. (That btw was their reason why we could not continue the conversation for the past 7 weeks). So I felt that I got really angry. And the anger stayed with me. I called her the next evening and wanted to say that I was angry, but I could not bring myself to say the words. But I was so loaded, that she perfectly heard it out of my voice anyways. She then tried to calm me by making one concession after the other, until she offered that we could meet just the two of us on the up coming weekend (14 days ago). So we met to talk together. She had asked again that she still does not understand exactly what I want from them. So I said again (probably for the third time) that I want to be able to have a real relationship with them. I want to be able to share thoughts and feelings that are important to me and I would also like that they would share more important memories, thoughts and feelings with me. And that being able to have a real relationship requires that they respect me as a fully fledged human being, which means for one, that they do not have the right to cut of an important body part of mine. And then it started again with the evading and fogging and so on and I felt that I got angry again. I said that this is a prime example of what I am talking about, since I am explicitly stating a feeling and a desire of mine and now I am again in a position that I have to justify myself instead of being heard and understood. She said that she and my dad would be willing to come to a psychologist of my choosing with me, of which I was positively surprised. But at the end of our conversation I felt very strongly that there is no point to it. I felt that we would just go through the motions but nothing would come out of it. It was a weird feeling, it felt like a cold kind of certainty. I am not sure what will come next but this feeling has not changed since then. I feel like the guy that has always tried to find the hidden door in the wall of a castle, and has suddenly realized that there is no door, just a wall. So now I am standing in front of the wall kind of dumbstruck and sort of starting to look around and trying to regain my orientation. It is a really weird but also kind of a good feeling. I also feel like I have a ton of sadness inside me which I sometimes feel, but mostly I am dissociated from it. Even though I often feel a lot of sadness and sometimes anger, I generally feel much better and happier than I ever did in the past 15 years. I am happy that I start to have feelings, even though it is kind of unfamiliar and a bit curious. I am happy that I feel my confidence rise and that I can start to stand in for myself. I am happy that I have such a wonderful relationship and a wonderful vision for my future family (unschooling, peaceful parenting, attachment parenting). I am happy that I have a good compass (ethics) to navigate by through the difficulties of life. Philosophy is a stony road and I sure have many stones still before me, but I feel that I am on the right road and that makes me feel positive and happy.
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First of all, I apologize for not being well informed on the legal requirements for consent when it comes to circumcision. It is my understanding that only one parent is required to consent to the procedure, typically the mother. That being said, a friend of mine was recently persuaded by her husband to consent to circumcision for their newborn son. After several months of arguing and debating the morality and ethics of the barbaric procedure, she caved into his request. I'm not certain why he was so persistent, however I know that it resulted in a bargaining situation- in exchange for her consent he agreed to quit smoking. In other words, she traded an ounce of her son's flesh for a lifestyle change agreement that would potentially benefit the entire family. She continues to regret the decision, now with the weight of her choice pressing down on her conscious. I believe that she's comforting herself by shoveling the blame of her decision towards her husband, and the "at least" factor of their abhorrent deal making. However, the bottom line is that she is responsible for her decision. She is a well educated woman, who knew both in her gut and in her brain that it was a terrible idea. A couple of the questions this incident has made me consider: What are the consequences of sacrificing one's sense of integrity for another's pleasure? Why would someone do that? Should both parent's be required to consent to circumcision? Should the mother have the ultimate authority over circumcision? What advice can I give her to help her gain something out of this awful experience?
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A new Facebook group promotes the practice of female genital cutting/circumcision/mutilation. https://www.facebook.com/Islamic-Female-Circumcision-480676625476877/ Not surprisingly, they use a health benefit argument to support savagery and barbarism (without citing any actual evidence supporting their claim): "If you love your husband, get yourself circumcised because germs unders your prepuce can reach his mouth when he pleasures your clitoris and cause him oral cancer". https://www.facebook.com/480676625476877/photos/a.480682795476260.1073741828.480676625476877/481252645419275/?type=3
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Please help me achieve my goal of ending circumcision in the next ten years by spreading the message. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_93ZJL-Q0TM&feature=youtu.be You have my unending gratitude and thanks!
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Hi there! I am an unschooling mama to a bright, creative, and ENERGETIC (almost) four year-old. So... that's how I spend most of my time. But in my 'downtime' (like when I'm nursing her to sleep) I listen to a lot of podcasts, watch Youtube videos, and am always learning something new. I am an intactivist, breastfeeding, birth, and children's advocate, as well as being very outspoken about our corrupt school system. We are very health-conscious, love riding our bikes, hiking, enjoying the sun and water, and exploring together. Even though I have lived in/around Seattle for most of my life, I am very affected by the rain, clouds, and general dreariness. Stefan Molyneux didn't show up on my radar until I watched a video of his on circumcision which I shared around on facebook (when I was on there) and then later shared one on spanking. Some of my husband's coworkers listen to the show and recommended them to me. So for the last month I have been listening as much as I can. My husband and I (and his coworkers) have been sharing episodes back and forth. (And a few times my husband and I have been able to listen to the show together.) The shows offer a lot of challenging information that I am happy to soak up... and process. The topics brought up in the shows have springboarded us into a lot of new conversations, or have revisited old ones. While I am interested in anarchy (just listened to one of Stefan's books), general philosophy, and other political issues, it's the parenting, feminist, and personal development issues that have really resonated with me. For example, my husband and I became pregnant out of wedlock (stupid, I know!) and decided to move in together, get married quickly, and figure out how to make it all work. We did not have enough money to live on with just his income so I took a part-time job where I figured I could leave my little girl with my friends (no family available nearby) and go to work at six weeks post-partum. What I hadn't planned on was the needs of my child. She's extremely 'spirited' (high needs), would not take pumped milk, nor was she comforted by anyone but me. So I started taking her to work with me - which was only a little less miserable, but at least we were together. I totally agree with Stefan when he says that you can make it work for one parent to be with the child/ren - it does take a lot of sacrifices, but it is possible. Anyway, the job only lasted one year and by that time my husband (began to take his career more seriously and) received a raise almost equal to what I was contributing with my job. And to make a long story short, he would not be where he is today in his career if we had both been working full-time jobs. Even though we were home-birthing and everything, we didn't know about 'attachment parenting,' 'peaceful parenting,' or anything like that until after she was born. I am just so thankful we did come across these ideas so we could become sensitive and respond appropriately to our little one's needs. Something that struck me last year was that even within the intactivist movement - where we'd shout about how awful genital mutilation is all day long - there seemed to be a split whenever anyone spoke out about other harmful acts against children like spanking, cry-it-out, or the school system. So as I have been listening, I am impressed with is Stefan's consistency. OK I don't want to go overboard sharing, but wanted to share enough for you all to get an idea of who I am and if we have something in common or you'd like to share new information with me, that'd be awesome Also, go easy on me, like I said, I am a new listener, eager to learn more, and feel like I'm doing a lot of catching-up with ideas, philosophies, and terms you all use frequently.
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After years of distance I've been scared to make the vulnerable and honest phone call to my sister to talk about how I feel about our non-existent relationship and how it makes me feel that she facebooks or texts me once or twice a year to tell me she loves me despite the facts that we haven't talked in years and she knows next to nothing about me, or how I feel that she calls me at Christmas despite the fact I'm atheist and our last attempt at debate on the topic was bordering aggression and belittling on her part.She called me this Christmas and left me a voicemail wishing me Merry Christmas, and a week later text me asking for my address I would assume to send me a card for my birthday that just passed, and I felt compelled to call her to have the terrifying conversation that would involve me being vulnerable and honest about my feelings and to ask her what she thinks or feels about my feelings regarding our relationship. Despite my knowledge that text messaging is woefully inadequate for these matters, my gut terror at the idea of calling her motivated me to start with text. I have been thinking for months that asking for her thoughts on male circumcision could be a fruitful litmus test for her ability to acknowledge my likely contrasting thoughts and feelings on a topic since she is a registered nurse at a children's hospital. This could have just been my unconscious protecting me from what it knew would come from this kind of interaction or maybe my false self finding excuses to not engage whole heartedly, or my true self preventing unnecessary brutality toward my own feelings, I don't know.I dove in via text, and this all occurred within about twenty minutes via text message. I was physically shaky and terrified as it all occurred and had a hard time texting with accuracy. Separate from our family dynamic I found her responses to be remarkably obtuse with contradictions and defenses abound, but I made special effort to not even take a position or argue the details as that was not the purpose of this exchange, rather to draw out the memories in me of who she was and still is which, given my body's physical responses before this exchange was even underway, was successful and revealing from the get go. But here it is, word for word:Me: Have you seen any of the information debunking the efficacy of circumcision and highlighting that it is actually genital mutilation? Sister: Ummm.. First of all, babies don't even cry when they get it done bc they are given sugar water. Second it's purely cultural not something weird and cruel. I probably would not but (boyfriend) is English so it's not in his culture anyway. Me: Oh that's interesting. I'd be interested in talking about it further with you since you seem to think its all right under the umbrella of culture. Sister: I mean I don't really want to have a discussion on circs I'm pretty unbiased since I see them done often. There is really no point to do it other than "looks" bc it's not really any more hygienic Sister: Can I just get your address Sister: Lol Me: No actually this is very important topic for me and is meaningful to me. It's also very important to me that the people in my life who love me are curious about my thoughts on a matter like this. Me: So I see the extent to which you aren't interested in discussing this with me or being curious about my thoughts on it as very related to your actual interest in me. Sister: (boyfriend) is uncirced you can talk to him about it lol Sister: Brian you don't even fucking call me back on Christmas and you want to come at me over circumcision?? Me: Are you available to talk? Sister: Not at the moment Me: Why not? Will you be available later on? No response. A couple mornings later I had a missed call from her that she would have made at 2am her time on a Saturday night, which leads me to believe she was drunk when she called. This reminded me of an outburst she had while drunk toward one of my brothers that my brother told me about. He said it was terribly uncomfortable and our sister verbally attacked his girlfriend in ways that made him feel like she was jealous of his girlfriend somehow. A little extra background: I'm 30, my sister is 24 or 25, and over the past seven years we have had very little interaction. I am in the preparation phase of deFOOing and have began honest conversations with my three younger brothers regarding family corruption, their experiences, their thoughts and my thoughts on our current relationships with one another and motivating factors for our lack of connection over the yearsMy sister is known in the family for being hateful and bullying toward those who oppose her or those she does not agree with or those she feels have wronged her in some way. She is aggressive in language and volume, yelling, etc.The last time I was around her was about two years ago at a small family meetup with small talk and no substance, I made an effort to be positive and friendly and had not yet been introduced to philosophy. I'm posting this as a window of insight for anyone who is interested in the very beginning phase of these terrifying conversations.
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http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/forcible-circumcision-turned-this-man-into-an-anti-circumcision-activist This cattle marking business is just sick, despite what people say about cosmetics, hygiene and all that, they always fight children.
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Stefan Molyneux breaks down the truth behind circumcision, including details on the procedure, it's history, rate of occurrence, claimed medical justifications, relation to masturbation, negative consequences and it's morality. Circumcision Rates Vary Widely in U.S. http://forward.com/articles/161642/circumcision-rates-vary-widely-in-us/?p=all#ixzz2bVibVSx5 Circumcisions Performed in U.S. Community Hospitals, 2009 http://www.hcup-us.ahrq.gov/reports/statbriefs/sb126.jsp Gollaher, David L. Circumcision: A History of the World’s Most Controversial Surgery. New York: Basic Books, 2001. 1-30. http://www.d.umn.edu/~mcco0322/index.htm Breast Cancer Risk in American Women http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/detection/probability-breast-cancer Male circumcision for HIV prevention http://www.who.int/hiv/topics/malecircumcision/en/ Why Circumcision Lowers Risk of HIV http://healthland.time.com/2013/04/17/why-circumcision-lowers-risk-of-hiv/ Uganda: Circumcision Not HIV Foolproof - Rugunda http://allafrica.com/stories/201308071633.html Circumcision and HIV: Harm Outweighs "Benefit" http://www.circumcision.org/hiv.htm Obstacles Slow an Easy Way to Prevent H.I.V. in Men http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/27/health/27circumcision.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0 Condom effectiveness in reducing heterosexual HIV transmission (Review) http://apps.who.int/rhl/reviews/langs/CD003255.pdf If Circumcision Rates Keep Falling, Health Costs and Infections Will Spike http://healthland.time.com/2012/08/21/if-circumcision-rates-keep-falling-health-costs-and-infections-will-spike/ Effectiveness of condoms in preventing HIV transmission http://linkinghub.elsevier.com/retrieve/pii/S0277953696002584?via=sd&cc=y Circumcision, the ultimate parenting dilemma http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19072761 To cut or not to cut? Personal factors influence primary care physicians’ position on elective newborn circumcision http://www.jmhjournal.org/article/S1875-6867(10)00050-3/abstract Complication rate after circumcision in a paediatric surgical setting should not be neglected. http://www.unboundmedicine.com/medline/citation/23905566/Complication_rate_after_circumcision_in_a_paediatric_surgical_setting_should_not_be_neglected_ Incidence of asymptomatic meatal stenosis in children following neonatal circumcision. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20851685 Incidence of meatal stenosis following neonatal circumcision in a primary care setting. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16429216 Alexithymia and Circumcision Trauma: A Preliminary Investigation http://www.readperiodicals.com/201107/2478941811.html Prevalence and correlates of premature ejaculation in a primary care setting: a preliminary cross-sectional study. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21492404 Male circumcision decreases penile sensitivity as measured in a large cohort. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23374102?dopt=Abstract Fine-touch pressure thresholds in the adult penis. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17378847 Comparison of ring block, dorsal penile nerve block, and topical anesthesia for neonatal circumcision: a randomized controlled trial. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9417009 Circumcision Practice Patterns in the United States http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/101/6/e5.full German court defines circumcision of children as bodily injury http://www.nationalturk.com/en/german-court-defines-circumcision-of-children-as-bodily-injury-20406 The Global Prevalence of Male Circumcision http://www.who.int/hiv/mediacentre/infopack_en_2.pdf US Birth Data http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/births.htm Two more babies stricken with herpes after ritual ultra-orthodox Jewish oral blood sucking circumcision in New York City http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2304793/Two-babies-stricken-HERPES-ritual-oral-blood-sucking-circumcision-New-York-City.html http://circumcisiondecisionmaker.com/circumcision-facts http://www.intactamerica.org/ http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/