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This makes me both smile and frown for this kid. http://fox2now.com/2014/08/28/video-mommys-big-secret/

Hey everyone, I'm going to jump right in. I'd like to give a little background first so you're on the same page. If anyone has time, I would really appreciate opinions on the conversation below. My name is Andrew. I'm 26, and I'm a long time listener of FDR (my first post on the boards). I just started some serious self-work due to a tipping point finally being reached in my family. About three weeks ago I told them that I wanted a break. I expressed my desire to have space in order to figure things out. Without going into the full history, there's some serious emotional abuse and neglect that I feel I've been subjected to. I haven't seen them or spoken to them for about three weeks now. I've confronted my Mom in the past about these concerns I have of my childhood. What I'm trying to do right now is write down every single detail I can remember about my past. I'm trying to put together a timeline of sorts containing all of the events and experiences I can remember of as a child. So a couple days ago I asked my Mom if I could pick up all of the childhood school papers / pictures she saved. I told her that it would really help me in this whole process during therapy. (I found an amazing one thank god). She told me that she would put together a box with everything and that I could pick it up today (Sunday the 19th). All day today I've been a nervous wreck. And to make a long story short I decided not to go over. I couldn't do it. I just can't see her face to face yet. I'm not ready. So the below conversation is what followed through text message. (I purposely left the typos in the conversation. I felt that it would help paint a more accurate picture of my Mom. Also the lost key conversation happened through email earlier in the day). Me: "I'm sorry mom I cant make it over tonight. I have the day off tomorrow...would you mind leaving the box in the backyard or garage? I could swing over during the day and pick it up." Mom: "Why can't you make it over" Me: "I don't know...I guess I'm scared to..." Mom: "We'll Andy that really hurts me I didn't know I scared you wow! I guess all I can say is when you get your courage back you can come over and get the stuff I put together for you this week. Come over tomorrow if you want after I get off work at 2:30 and pick it up I would like to talk. Love you mom" Mom: "Did you loose all your keys can you still drive your car.? Please reply thank you" Me: "Yeah I got all new keys made last week. I don't think im ready to talk face to face yet, im sorry. Would you mind leaving the box outside? I'd still like to look at the files if you don't mind." Mom: "I don't know what files your talking about I put together dates on a piece of paper dates where we lived and when we lived there. Also the box of your time at meadow lake school and pictures when you were little. I'm not putting them outside it's going to snow tomorrow if you can't see me after work then you can pick the stuff up when you can you can face I'm sorry you can't even see me I love you andy." Mom: "I just don't understand why your feeling this way towards me what did I do? For you to feel this way ." Me: "What about putting the stuff in the garage? You usually leave that unlocked right? I really really want to look at these things. I appreciate very much that you took the time to write down dates...it would help me a lot..." Me: "I don't know mom...that's what im trying to figure out in therapy right now." Mom: "Sorry Andy if you want the stuff tomorrow you can get it from me I want to see you . You don't have to stay and talk. You said you would come over today well I'm going to hold you to that." Me: "Ok. I'll pick up the stuff when I'm ready to talk face to face." Mom: "Ok I'm sorry you feel that way about me remember you have mail to pick up to when ever your ready to see me love mom:-*" I just can't believe that she's holding these things "hostage" in a way. I feel disgusted, completely neglected, and angry as hell. I'm starting to remember her doing this kind of thing to me when I was a kid. Ugh.

Here is my previous post on some of my story: http://board.freedomainradio.com/topic/38334-hi-from-norway/ I live far apart from my family. I used to live in my dead grandfathers house before they sold the house. When they sold the house I drove 1000km far north to Tromsø. My parents tried to talk me out of this decision, but I ignored it. In october/november or so they contacted me and wanted me to visit them. I refused. My mom managed to talk me into agreeing that they (my father and mother) come and visit me. When they came my mother had brought gifts, she said "I brought you this cooking pot, which I have promised you". I felt uncomfortable, I specifically said before they came to not bring any gifts. Now she said she had promised me this pot? The pot was bought with my dads money as usual. Not completely sure this is a manipulative strategy to make me feel guilty to give something back, I feel cynical about taking this point of view, but it certainly did not feel right. I wanted to refuse taking it, but gave in. There where other people around (those that shared my apartment) and I didn't want to make a scene. Also I decided to just play along, counting days until they left again. Anyway. We used a lot of time looking at houses. I have gotten 100k $ from my grandfather on my fathers side. My father was really excited and had lots of enthusiasm. Checking the internet for different houses and apartments, arranging several each day. Some where really expensive, but managable. I would just be able to pay the interest of the loan. It did not feel right, but I got excited as well, I quite tired of living with strangers... After they left I felt relieved. My mother called on the phone and started nagging me that I had to remember ordering airplane tickets for the Christmas holidays. I procrastinated it, I just couldn't do it. I really did not want to come and spend Christmas with them. I told her so. She said something like, come on it will be alright. It will be good for you. I ended up giving in. The tickets where quite expensive, since I waited for it so long. After that I got really depressed. I started to isolate myself in the room and could not concentrate on the exams. I went back into a completely dysfunctional state that I have suffered from in the past. I ended up sleeping in the day and being awake in the night to avoid my room mates. All the exams went terrible, even though I had done a lot of ground work earlier in the semester. I started to realize that I could still change my mind, even though I had bought expensive tickets. Those money where gone anyway. I flipped back and forth, unable to make up my mind. Two days before I was supposed to go, I decided to not go, just enjoy my own company. All the roommates would leave and I could enjoy the silence. I had been hiding in my room, cooking food on a rice cooker and small hot plate. Now I could enjoy the living room and a real kitchen. On the day I was supposed to leave I called my mother (around the time I was supposed to arrive). I told her that I really did not want to visit them, and that the truth was that I really did not enjoy Christmas, that it made me depressed spending time with them with all this exterior stuff; presents, food etc. but with an empty feeling inside. The "topics" of conversation also dives me insane. They are so vacuous and uninteresting. She got angry and sad. She kept saying what am I going to tell the others? She said she somehow had to bear the responsibility of me not coming, now they would be disappointed at her. At a later phone call I told my mom that I did not want to see them anymore. I complained about their emotional neglect in my childhood. She kept saying thet they did as best they could. I was quite angry in this phone call and said that it was not good enough. She started crying. I said that crying was not going to change my mind. Then she started to say that I put the blame on them for my own misery. That I made up stories to justify my position in life. I threw the same thing back at her. That it could be argued that her story served her purposes in the exact same way. Then she got really angry and that really sharp voice came out of her. I can remember this voice from my childhood. It's really scary, really sharp and angry. It doesn't affect me ass much anymore though. Next phone cal she pretended like nothing and started to tell me really detailed stuff about what had happened, the weather etc. I just told her, that I really did not care about all this, could she not remember our last call? She kept trying to just pretend like nothing and bring the conversation back to normal. Now she keeps sending me text messages. Hope everything is fine! Hear the weather is nice. We have just been skiing etc.She keeps calling as well, but I don't pick it up. It's freaking annoying! I talked to my oldest sister the other day. She said I was being childish. Then she wanted to send me a gift, I said that I really did not want it, but she kept insisting. I felt guilty and gave in. The package has arrived, but I haven't picked it up yet. Should I send it back again? So what is going on here. Why does my mother keep sending me text messages that are all happy happy, and just pretending she doesn't know that I really just want to be left alone? My father has stopped all contact. He kept asking me if he could transfer the money from my grandfather. I kept saying that it was not in a hurry and that I didn't want them cause I was afraid that would make me unable to take student loans. Now I have decided to drop out of university. I told him he could send the money, but I have not heard anything from him. What's going on there? Is he afraid I will just waste them, now that he know I don't want to have anything to do with them? Or is he playing some kind of game? I'm afraid calling him cause I know he will keep saying that I shouldn't have dropped out of college etc. All he ever talks about is what I'm supposed to do according to "the script". I have followed that script long enough now and it makes me miserable. If I talk about his emotional absence when I was growing up he either goes into anger/rage mode. Or he uses the pity game, making me feeling guilty. A long rant. I just could not sleep and felt like venting. (also I checked my phone and there it was another message from my mother)