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Hello, folks! Today, I'm making a firm decision to dedicate the entire month of March to re-assessing the direction I wish to take my life, defining what I want in my relationships, and re-assessing my belief system from the ground up to address areas where I am inconsistent. The idea to embark on this project came about as a result of some key realizations I've come to in journaling extensively over the past several days. -- Firstly, I've realized that I am trying to seek love in finding a new partner without first truly loving myself through and through. I wanted to be loved first (and give love later), but neither can be truly sustained according to traditional wisdom without first establishing self-love. I'm a fundamentally good person, but I've made mistakes long in my past which cause a deep sense of self-doubt and reluctance in accepting that I am worthy of a virtue-based romantic relationship.. It was mind-blowing to realize this, but I think it's a crucial first step in the solving of any problem to first identify that it exists. I am perhaps most eager to tackle this issue in therapy and whatever means you're aware of which are useful for establishing genuine self-love and respect would be greatly appreciated. Secondly, I've realized that I've put the cart before the horse regarding my online business, creating loads of valuable content at an unprecedented pace without first realizing that I am a complete beginner without a sound grasp of the fundamentals of what it takes to run a successful online business. I've been operating based upon past experience, intuition, and what little knowledge I've picked up from conversations, books, and podcasts. Some things I'll be pondering deeply are: which social media platforms are most relevant to my niche, how to conduct myself on social media, learning the fundamentals of blogging and article creation, the fundamentals of running a successful eCommerce store, and so on. I've steamed ahead at full speed prior to studying the proper ways to accomplish my goals; this means I will likely have to unlearn many bad habits and fix many problems I've created for myself. Third, I've realized that I'm completely taking the philosophical arguments of Stefan Molyneux at face value without healthy skepticism and research into alternative explanations or rebuttals. (surely I'm not alone... right?) I've gained a sense of intellectual comfort in "knowing" that the Non-Agression Principle is valid, that UPB is valid, that there's such a thing as Property Rights, and that there's no God. Regardless of the validity or truth in the conclusions I have in my mind, I've become aware that I've arrived at them through a critical methodological error: I outsourced my own thinking to the thinking of another man. I've never fully read the source materials from the original proponents of these concepts and critically analyzed them. Instead, I listened to someone who "did the job for me", and accepted his explanations as truth. This is clearly not a healthy way to arrive at any conclusion; I've decided I'm going to have the intellectual integrity to do my own reading and arrive at my own conclusions. -- Frankly, it's not fun to realize all of this in the span of less than a week. I've put about half of my eggs into the basket of my business, and need to be successful in that venture in order to sustain myself. However, I can't seem to focus much at all on business with the shift in consciousness I've experienced due to these key realizations. I liken this to a mild existential crisis, and I'm ready to face the challenges ahead of me no matter the cost. I feel sincerely that my life is accelerating and that I must rise to the challenge; it's exciting and intimidating at the same time! I have found that the community here is full of good-willed, intelligent, and experienced individuals with a willingness to offer valuable perspective to help others. Perhaps some of you have experienced something similar, and can offer some advice on what helped you through the struggle of an existential crisis where your gravest errors in thought and plan were made apparent to you. Maybe you know a couple of good books on the subject of introductory metaphysics and epistemology, and you'd like to share those. Heck, even if you've got an interesting article to share that you think could help myself or others, please share it! No matter what advice, perspective, or resources you offer, I'll sincerely appreciate them! I'm looking forward greatly to engaging you all in conversation .

I'm exhausted of my job, there's no career path in my company for me, and though it's not been announced it's widely believed that our office will be shut down at the end of the year. It's lead to me feeling very frustrated and pent up at my current occupation, and has affected my performance. I'm looking to find new work, and have been since September. However I haven't had an offer yet, and I think I know why. My job title is Project Manager, but I don't do what most people think of as PM. I mostly do a customer service/Help desk kind of job. The thing is, I think I can try to get a new job by getting some industry qualifications for being a Project Manager. But, that's potentially throwing money away after a career that I may not be good at, and could potentially hate as much as my current job. But, the only alternatives I can think of are to stick out my current job and just keep applying for things, or quit my job and go job hunting full time. I don't want to get fired from my job, but I'm kind of at the point where I think I can't take it any more. I have about 6 months worth of money in the bank. Really I want something where I work with people, and I don't stare at a lit screen for 8 hours a day. Pleeeeassee help!

Some of you may have read my previous topic where I have described my current career situation. https://board.freedomainradio.com/topic/45179-im-a-police-officerhelp/?hl=%2Bpolice+%2Bofficer I have been thinking for a long time about this and I am now proud to announce that I have decided to liberate my consciousness from the moral implications of being a Police Officer. Yes - I am quitting. Undoubtedly, this will have a huge impact on my life. I have a degree in Criminology which I have chosen for the very purpose of being able to advance through the ranks quicker, which of course now becomes useless. Also, having to pay off around £30000 for that degree and not having a very clear idea where to go from here isn't very motivating to say the least . I need a new job, that's for sure. Any advice on possible career paths is highly appreciated! The bottom line is - whatever happens, I will not regret my decision .

Hey, I was wondering whether someone could recommend something along the lines of "online course in philosophy". I want to learn more about philosophy starting from the basics. Cheers!

I'm an American in his early 20s teaching English at a language school in Russia. I went with a group of colleagues and students (teenagers around 14 years old) to a parade and during a conversation with one of the students I learned that she has been dating a man twice her age for two months now. I know that her parents are not aware, she isn't comfortable sharing this with them, and she says she trusts this man completely. I can't imagine this man is normal because he is dating a child and now he is accusing her of liking me. I also have questions about her parents because it seems to me that a situation like this couldn't develop without significant parenting problems. This was all quite shocking to me so I read a number of relationship and parenting forums. In the American forums, the responses to situations like this are strongly negative, even suggesting the police be involved. Then I read Russian forums and the responses are nearly all positive, even to age gaps as extreme as this. What is your reaction to this situation? Is it really as dangerous as it seems to me? How can I, as a teacher, most help this girl? What do you think should be my response?

So I met this girl about two and a half weeks ago at a college social club and we hit it off well. While we would talk in person while at the club, we began to converse primarily through email and text for the majority of these two weeks due to both of us being busy with classes. At first, the majority f our conversation revolved around music, but soon grew to include psychology and philosophy. We met for the first time outside of club last Thursday to prepare and share dinner at my place. We ate, we danced, and we talked for hours after we finessed eating. The problem occurred when we kissed. This was about thirty minutes into the evening, and about 15-30 minutes later she brought up that she has a boyfriend for the first time. This is what prompted us to talk for several hours after dinner and really delve deep into our personal histories. Initially, she mentioned that she felt bad about unknowingly leading me on and that this was the first time that she ever cheated since she holds trust and loyalty to relationships as highly important. Later on, she stated that she may have been willing to come over and kiss me rather than have me cook at her place because of the emotionlessness and passivity of her current boyfriend. We almost made out 3 other times and ended up making out once before I drove her home. It is clear that we like each other. In fact, she mentioned that she would have no problem dating me if she was single. Based on my morals, I presented that possibility that we remain friends, due to what we have in common, but with the understanding that I would like more should she become single. She agreed to this. Since then, we have continued to talk and text almost daily, although now our conversations are even more personal that they were before Thursday. In addition, I have seen her boyfriend she he came to the club on Friday and he really reamed like a serious, quite, and emotionless person. Like a 1 or 2 on a scale where 10 is extremely emotional. I have been thinking about her for a while. I smile when I think about her. I have dreamt about her every night since Thursday. I feel at ease around her, never having to lie or watch my words when talking to her. I am sad that she is in a relationship, but I am happy that she talks to me. What I know about her through our conversations: Her life goal is to help people, possibly by becoming a psychiatrist and opening a clinic in China She believes in gender equality, but not feminism She is extremely open to Anarcho-Capitalism Her skeptisims of any of my views comes from curiosity instead of biased opinions She has a love for some of her Chinese culture, but is not weighed down or overly biased by it when it comes to objective reasoning She is quick to raise questions about cultural biases and contradictions that she sees She is not religious although she said that she was spiritual, which seems to put her around agnosticism She is emotionally present and expresses them freely with me She lives her virtues, as evidenced by taking a semester of school off to help her family when her mother broke her leg and could not properly take care of their household She is passionate about the same types of music and films as me She has had therapy and sees the value in it She laughs at most of my jokes We have talked about our dating histories, though not in too specific terms yet She began therapy after she had problems with her first boyfriend, who was absusive Her other boyfriends since then (3-4 total) were not abusive, though she has been the dominant one in these relationships She has agreed to the definition that love is our involuntary response to virtue She genuinely listens to me She is a foreign student from Shanghai, China She is not like my mom, and this is a good thing She is the most comfortable girl that I have ever been around She does not do drugs nor smokes and rarely drinks What I guess I'm trying to get at is this: Would entering a romantic relationship with this girl be a good or bad idea, considering what I know, should she become single? Is my continued friendship with her inherently manipulative considering our agreement and her current relationship? Are there any questions that I should ask her that would help answer my questions? Is she really a good girl, or am I projecting virtue? Am I not thinking about something? Please help me if you can

You have two children and they are fighting. You were distracted and missed the beginning of the fight. One child says "He started it!", and the other says "No, SHE started it!" Clearly one of them is lying, but neither admits to it. As the parent, how do you react?

Hi, this is my first post on the board, and have been listening to FDR since Stef first did the Joe Rogan podcast back in September. I’ve gained a lot from it so far, but I think its been made clear to me that the road ahead is a life long ride so I’m strapped in but right now I’ve got a flat and a spare with no tire iron or jack. I’m feeling very anxious as I’m writing this, and a little nervous. WHOO, here goes nothing… My name is Louis, I’m 20 years old, currently living in northern San Diego, CA, USA. I moved here just 13 months ago from Staten Island, New York, where I was born and raised. I moved to California with my Mom, Stepdad, a mutual friend of theirs, and my girlfriend who had been living with me in my mom’s house for 2 years before the move. California was my mom and stepdad’s plan since I was little. He’s a screenplay writer so the move was a step so he can have more opportunities. Right before moving, my mom expressed she no longer felt in love with my step dad, who had been in my life since I was 3, and felt that it would not change. While making the move, we drove in an RV and currently live in it, they didn't sleep together, and upon arrival, she began sleeping in the same bed as the mutual friend. (I guess not so mutual). This drove my stepdad crazy, every night they slept in the same bed together 2 feet away from him. He expressed his discomfort and anger in this situation but it did not matter, after 2 months he had gotten his own place. This stirred me up a lot, it still does. It was clear what was going to happen the whole time, just not explicitly , and until then I just didn’t want to except it. I expressed my sadness about the situation with my mother when she had approached me while my stepdad was away before he had moved out of the RV, with the option of my girlfriend and myself moving into an apartment with her and her new bedmate. That was when it was made explicitly clear to me that my stepdad and her were over and she was indeed going to be with this guy. Who I had known since I was about 5. Obviously the move with them did not take place. But when we had that interaction, I cried as I wanted to ask her how she could be so heartless, such a monster, so wrong, but I couldn't ask her that. I said I didn't want to just abandon my stepfather in the RV, especially where we are living is very far from anything. I can’t remember what I said but I tried to express how I felt, and I can only remember her yelling and tearing, “What about how I feel?!” I went silent, I didn't realize at the time but the whole interaction was all too familiar. She had said that she felt not in love with him for nearly 5 years, but didn't know it herself, and once she realized she did what she wanted to “feel happy” cause thats all she’s ever wanted, and yeah maybe it wasn't pretty but now she’s happy. She has since gotten a DUI and is without a license and probably the most miserable I’ve ever seen her. But I can never tell, she’s impossible to read, every time I see her I feel like she is mad at me, or she’s got something to say and just won’t. Thats one half, maybe the smaller half in my mind for now. But not irrelevant, as the big one is around my Bio-Dad. Before I moved out here, I worked with him doing construction for 2 years after I graduated high school. He knew my mom and step dad were moving but not that I was planning to go with them, I put off telling him for 6 months, and then a month before, I told him, with my girlfriend present. I could not initiate the conversation towards that topic, so we sat at the table awkwardly, until late when I gave the okay for my girlfriend to start. She went with “Mr.B, we have something we would like to talk with you about.” My heart was pounding the entire time, and I was fighting back sweat, and shaking. He took it okay. If it was what I wanted to do then he was happy, I suppose. It was all there but I didn't want to see it then, but I wanted so desperately to take this chance to move to California so I can get away from him. I see it now. All of it for what it is, abuse. My dad has always been a yeller, some would call it short-fuzed, others just an asshole. He's always been one for violence. He always told me stories of him getting into fights at school, or into trouble in school, and then my grandfather beating the shit out of him all the time; always with the caveat that he was BAD. My grandma would call it “Fresh”. I don't know who told me but I was once told that my dad once drowned kittens in a sewer. And boy oh boy does he love his beer. My parents married young, had me at 19(both of them), and separated when I was young, (about a year), but didn't get divorced until right before my mom remarried, some 7-8 years later. My mom had full custody of me but I always went back and forth until I was 16, then I stayed only at my mom’s. I’m my mother’s only child, but my dad, had a girl with a woman he was dating and proposed to, but turned him down, when I was 6. My sister’s mom was no longer living with us about 2 years later, and when I was 11 my dad introduced me to, lets call her Rita, a woman he once dated in high school and left for my mom. Rita had a son (9 at the time) from a man who ran out on her and denied paternity when she was 18. My dad moved them in with me and my sister about 2 months after the meeting, and married her all alone in Jamaica 4 months after that. They would go on to build a custom house together, and when I was 15 they had a baby girl, and my dad legally adapted her son, then when I was 17 they had another girl. After Rita lost her job after having the first child, they started to struggle, so after the second child was born, they were looking to sell the house they just built. It sold and we moved the last of their stuff out of that house and into the new one, the morning before Hurricane Sandy hit Staten Island. My dad would sometimes brag about his power over us by saying things like ‘when me and my sister would start to get out of line all he had to do was look at us and we knew’. I have many vivid memories of my dad hitting my first little sister and beating our dog. I always remember there being a hole in the wall somewhere that my dad made with his fist, even before my sister was born. Before I moved and knew better, I know he was doing the same to my 2 youngest sisters, then 4 and 2. But I know it has been going on as since they were less than a year. This caused me look at my early childhood where there’s really not a lot of memory before 5-6, so I talked with my mom. She left him because of the way he is, with his temper, so I asked about being spanked, she says he spanked me as early as 8 months old, but she insisted that she wasn't as worried about that as she was his verbal abuse, and rages. She admitted that she also spanked me but she said specifically 8 times. When I asked her, ‘You won in the legal system, 100%, why did you not take me away from him if you left because he was violent?’ Her response haunts me, “Well you really looked up to him at the time this was going on, and wanted to still see him, he was your dad, and when I grew up hating everyone who took me away from my parents, I just knew whatever I experienced I wanted to be opposite for you.” Now the older girl just turned 5 yesterday, and the other turned 3, 2 months before. And I know they are experiencing all the same kind of trauma that I have, living with my dad, they might have it worse considering the mother. I recently asked my oldest sister about how often has she seen my dad, hit, push, grab, slap, spank, or anything violent towards, either of the 2 youngest, her response was about twice a day. And I already know that the verbal aggression and abuse is constant. I also asked my stepbrother but in the context of, my sister says twice a day, would you agree? He said “at least from what I SEE.” I desperately want to confront my father on this issue but the fear level for me is so overwhelming. Ive spoken to him all of maybe 6 times in the year that I've been living in CA, but the last time, I tried to RTR him but couldn't speak it and I needed to get it out, so I texted him, explaining that I have fear around talking with him honestly and openly. Needless to say he didn't get it, but left with the good old, “You know I love you, when you're ready, I’ll be here.” I know this is long, so to anyone who’s read this far, I am truly thankful, and if anyone can offer up any comments, questions, advise, or criticisms, would all be helpful here. I would also like to acknowledge that this post as my very first may come on as very strong, but that would be why it is so lengthy. Thank You anyone and everyone, Louis

Hey everyone, I'm going to jump right in. I'd like to give a little background first so you're on the same page. If anyone has time, I would really appreciate opinions on the conversation below. My name is Andrew. I'm 26, and I'm a long time listener of FDR (my first post on the boards). I just started some serious self-work due to a tipping point finally being reached in my family. About three weeks ago I told them that I wanted a break. I expressed my desire to have space in order to figure things out. Without going into the full history, there's some serious emotional abuse and neglect that I feel I've been subjected to. I haven't seen them or spoken to them for about three weeks now. I've confronted my Mom in the past about these concerns I have of my childhood. What I'm trying to do right now is write down every single detail I can remember about my past. I'm trying to put together a timeline of sorts containing all of the events and experiences I can remember of as a child. So a couple days ago I asked my Mom if I could pick up all of the childhood school papers / pictures she saved. I told her that it would really help me in this whole process during therapy. (I found an amazing one thank god). She told me that she would put together a box with everything and that I could pick it up today (Sunday the 19th). All day today I've been a nervous wreck. And to make a long story short I decided not to go over. I couldn't do it. I just can't see her face to face yet. I'm not ready. So the below conversation is what followed through text message. (I purposely left the typos in the conversation. I felt that it would help paint a more accurate picture of my Mom. Also the lost key conversation happened through email earlier in the day). Me: "I'm sorry mom I cant make it over tonight. I have the day off tomorrow...would you mind leaving the box in the backyard or garage? I could swing over during the day and pick it up." Mom: "Why can't you make it over" Me: "I don't know...I guess I'm scared to..." Mom: "We'll Andy that really hurts me I didn't know I scared you wow! I guess all I can say is when you get your courage back you can come over and get the stuff I put together for you this week. Come over tomorrow if you want after I get off work at 2:30 and pick it up I would like to talk. Love you mom" Mom: "Did you loose all your keys can you still drive your car.? Please reply thank you" Me: "Yeah I got all new keys made last week. I don't think im ready to talk face to face yet, im sorry. Would you mind leaving the box outside? I'd still like to look at the files if you don't mind." Mom: "I don't know what files your talking about I put together dates on a piece of paper dates where we lived and when we lived there. Also the box of your time at meadow lake school and pictures when you were little. I'm not putting them outside it's going to snow tomorrow if you can't see me after work then you can pick the stuff up when you can you can face I'm sorry you can't even see me I love you andy." Mom: "I just don't understand why your feeling this way towards me what did I do? For you to feel this way ." Me: "What about putting the stuff in the garage? You usually leave that unlocked right? I really really want to look at these things. I appreciate very much that you took the time to write down dates...it would help me a lot..." Me: "I don't know mom...that's what im trying to figure out in therapy right now." Mom: "Sorry Andy if you want the stuff tomorrow you can get it from me I want to see you . You don't have to stay and talk. You said you would come over today well I'm going to hold you to that." Me: "Ok. I'll pick up the stuff when I'm ready to talk face to face." Mom: "Ok I'm sorry you feel that way about me remember you have mail to pick up to when ever your ready to see me love mom:-*" I just can't believe that she's holding these things "hostage" in a way. I feel disgusted, completely neglected, and angry as hell. I'm starting to remember her doing this kind of thing to me when I was a kid. Ugh.

Hi everyone, Thanks for stopping in and taking the time to read. I'm currently trying to get into the food industry preferably as a cook. I had an employer call me about my resume I uploaded online. She asked me if I had any experience in cooking with Mediterranean food. I have on my application that I worked in fast food places but, nothing on it about working with this type of food. I told her that honestly I have''t really besides watching my father cook Greek dish's here and there. She then told me that she would like to have me come in tomorrow for an interview. On one hand she obviously see's possible potential in me but, on the other I am trying to think of how I could present myself as a valuable worker with this obvious lack of experience. I was thinking of pointing out that I am a fast learner and the variety of task I did at previous restaurants supports that. I mean, My title at this previous job is something like this : Cook, Busser, Trainer, Cashier, Inventory Management, Catering, Prep Staff. Other than that I'm drawing blanks on what I could say. Any ideas on how I could go about this? Thank's again.

Fatigue. Repulsion. Disinterest. Confusion. Those are some of the emotions that come to mind, when I see a thread or post that includes page-loads of text, page-length paragraphs, and no italics or bold text, or other markings, whatsoever. So, here are some useful tips I've learned throughout the years, browsing the majestic internet. Each makes discussions and information sharing more accessible and appealing. 1. Keep paragraphs short. As short as possible! Each paragraph relays an idea; if the idea requires more than four or five sentences, then split it. It probably already leaked towards another idea, or sub-idea, as it is. Don't be ashamed of one or two phrase paragraphs! 2. Don't answer yourself in the same post. In other words, if you feel that you've continued writing into your own response (of the idea you started writing about, in the same post), then it makes sense to simply get to the point. Only write the response, or final idea. Your approach can be cleared, if necessary, later on. 3. Draw your text. Especially, if it is rather long, or feels complicated, even a bit. What do I mean? Use italics, bold, underlines, different fonts, different sizes, and even different colors! Each can be used to emphasize or de-emphasize an idea. You want others to read your text, as they would hear it, as if you were speaking it aloud. Also, you want them to notice some things, more than others, naturally. 4. And finally, keep each post short! Yes, even though you can/could/would/might/want to say more, you need to deserve the effort of your readers, first! After you write anything, go over it, and try to keep it as simple and short, as you literararily (mind the pun) can. If Stefan's daughter can't/won't get it, neither will anyone else. Cheers.

Hi Everyone, I need some advice. I've been on a self knowledge journey for many years now, and have decided to leave my job for a year and make a run at being an entrepreneur. I am 31, and for the past two years I have lived with my parents because I wanted to pay off my large school debt, get healthy, and spend some quality time digging into some self knowledge work. My mother is hyper religious. The catholic type that spends four nights a week at Church. She is also medicated for being bi-polar. I never know what mom I am going to get from day to day. She is either really happy, or really stressed and angry. Growing up I had to deal with daily screaming and hitting. When she found the Church at age 15, some of the screaming subsided, but then the fear tactics kicked in. Her father was a drunk and an abuser, while her mother was institutionalized several times for mental breakdowns. Her mother was also a screamer and a hitter. I always try to understand and support her through her massive mood swings, but I don't think I can do it any longer. My father, who still lives at home, has always been the "my way or the highway" kind of guy. As a teenager, I always tried to get him to take my side, but he protected my mother and said that I just had to do what I was told and stop making her mad (as if it was my fault). It was a very difficult decision to move home two years ago, but with my looming debt, and my health drastically failing because I was not managing my own stress, eating habits, while I smoked a pack a day and drank to fall asleep. I have since gone through a great deal of therapy and life style adjustments and I have never been healthier, happier, and mentally sound. It was my father gave me the option two years ago, and said that my rent would help him retire, while I could live close to work and get healthy. My rent didn't help him retire, instead it bought him a motorcycle and a couple of cruises. At 71, he has no intention of retiring. But here's the situation right now. He supports me and says that no matter what decision I make in life I'll always be his son and will support my decisions. I am the only one who can find happiness for myself. To make this transition smooth, I asked if it was possible to lower my rent to just utilities ($300 a month) from $800. When I explained to my mother why I was asking she lost her temper, said that I am just like her, bi-polar, and that this phase I'm just throwing away my secure job as a public school teacher. I told her that it was irrational to project her label onto me without any empirical evidence. The only truth to my situation is that I am working for something I do not believe in, and the past seven years in the school system has been trying. She ended the conversation by saying that I was always just using them. I kept my cool, and said that I would have hoped for a non-emotional extreme response and some parental advice and support. She stormed off to her bedroom and I probably won't see or hear from her for a week. I do not need their approval at all. Reducing my rent would have been extremely helpful. I'm thinking that the next 5 months I have to live here (proximity to work, and I have five months left on my contract at the school before I can move back down to the city) is going to really uncomfortable, but I might just give them what I can ($300) and if they decide to kick me out, the ties will naturally be cut. What would someone do in this situation? I'd appreciate any advice. C

Im sick and discusted with all this horrible parental preachy advice comming from these Dr Shmucks with severe childism problems who treat children like a machine to be modified to suit the need of the user (parent). Oh your child has anger problems, adhd, anxiety disorder oh well instead of the underlying cause, (child abuse) lets give them drugs or insert some reason that doesn't point to pathetic sociopathic abusing parents. Any parent who thinks they can change there child behaviour is either dillusional or doesn't understand human psychology at a fundamental level, which is usually the case. Trying to change persons behaviour is asking for conflict in the relationship and inflicting stress and anxiety over the persons. The more the disparaty of power the more the stress and anxiety inflicted ie abuse. People only have the power to change there own behaviour and that is fact, no matter how much foolish parents wish and dream they mold some perfect robot child. So how can I help my child with there behaviour? Well it's simple. All creatures on this planet have to do one thing and they can't controll it. It is instictive and healthy and natural. All creatures must adapt to there environment. Fact. It is a PARENT'S JOB to create an environment for the child. A child will adapt to the environment you create negative or positive whatever. So what type of environment should I create and how? Hey, your the fucking parent! Read a book. The next time you or someone you see tries to change a childs behaviour eg, "do X or else...". not the environment eg, mom dad i want to do x because (environmenral factor installed by parents). It may seem harder at first but if you prepare and study, which you better because if you dont then your telling everyone that your child means less to you than a highschool test in which case you are undeserving of a child and should put him or her up for adoption, then you will have 0 troubles with childrens behavior, The diffrece in long term ease is akin to walking up a river and floating down it, Please educate them, for the childs sake.