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Hi All, Lately I've encouraged my girlfriend to read up on the circumcision debate. I wanted to know whether she would circumcise any sons she might have, and whether she was in favor of involuntary circumcision. So far she's fine with not circumcising any sons she may have, but I'm still not clear on whether she finds involuntary circumcision immoral. She said she wants to read more about it. She likened involuntary circumcision to the fact that parents make many medical decisions for their kids. I'm not sure what to make of this. I want to wait and see how her opinion changes as she reads more, but I can't help but wonder what it means that based on what she already has read, she appears to harbor zero outrage that involuntary circumcision was done to me and remains a widespread practice. She is now aware that a huge number of men remain intact without ill effects, and that circumcision carries risks and long-term adverse consequences. Should I be worried about this woman? There's so much I love about her, but I want our values to line up and for her to be a great wife and mother.

Here is proof that women are as perfectly capable of levels of violence and abuse as men.

Hi everyone, first post ever around here. This is gonna be a pretty extreme roller coaster, you've been warned. Back when I just finished highschool with some pretty decent grades for where I live, I started hanging with this chick. Knew her sister, we went to a debate competition together, and when I met her, somehow I got attracted by her. Since it was the last year of highschool, I kept things extremely light since I cared for my grades. After that, hanged out with her, got more and more attracted, but woke up she just and this biker were together now. Oh well, bad timing on my part. But hey, she's 5 years older than me, she could be useful for me at University. She broke with the biker, got interested, argued at one point because of me lending her some money, got my money back, no issues. She seemed honest, and was pretty darn smart from a social point of view. I knew she was a alcoholic, she failed a couple of her years, she was a writer (and hell, she even took notes and grouped her closest friends), she studied landscape architecture, but she actually pushed me at occasions to do pretty smart stuff (I gave up my first university since, well...it was a piece of trash. Some cheap-ass university with teachers coming drunk at courses, yet she pushed me to go and try to visit other universities in my country to have a better set of options, and at occasions, she was the person noticing practical things I did in a completely stupid fashion none of my friends mentioned). At one point however, as she was single, she had an accident in her family on Christmas Day. Her uncle and her uncle's niece were in the hospital with small odds of getting alive. She wanted us to hang out in the middle of the night for some whiskey. Hanged out the next night as well, when as we got out of a bar, we saw a guy on the ground. Jesus, some hobo on an empty street. However, she went at him, and pulled his head. His face was full of red blood and he was half-conscious. The following convo happened: -Let's carry him! -You sure you know what you're doing? -Just carry him! -You sure? -Yes! -Okay... She did not have any idea. This is a medical error, and he could have died in my arms, but thankfully, the guy was OK the next day, after we got him his family and an ambulance (yes, his sister and mom arrived in 15 mins, the ambulance in 45...). Granted, she was in deep sorrow and after some alcohol, so I'll excuse her for that. I drank too. Later that night, we went to a club, she danced with some dude and it was pretty heavy and it was clear she wasn't OK at all, mentally. Yes, beta as fuck, but then again, I'll excuse her since I wanted a break from her existence as well. A few days earlier, I found out after a long, long time that I was admitted to a university in Austria. In my extreme case, where bureaucracy happened, I was totally immature and had no idea of relationships, and my emotions were all over the place, as a 19 y.o. dude, I got heavily attached to her. However, on New Year's Eve, after some alcohol, I half-lost my virginity with some other chick at a party. Yea, that was fucked up. However, I decided not to tell her at all, and went ahead like some cuck with flowers at her place in my attempt for us to get together. She refused me, we argued, and broke up. The frustration after this made me go for a prostitute, to lose my virginity properly, and perhaps calm myself. It didn't calm shit, and left the place empty as hell. Empty soul, empty dick, empty wallet. We became friends again a month or so later. She was now in a relationship with some weirdo, I was now 20 years old. I refused Vienna afterwards, since I woke up that it meant to waste my parents' money on something I did not know whether I had the balls to do, or that I'd even do it properly. I was afraid I'd fail, and that I'd just bankrupt my parents. Got back into her dramas. In one night, she called me and told me she broke up with this dude. In my stupidity, I was pretty happy, thought I'd actually have a chance. However, she told me she wants to meet the biker again and get back with him. The biker owns a club, so I said to myself "Meh, maybe I get free alcohol again. At least try not to pay for my suffering." However, they argued. We went back to the weirdo's workplace which was...a club, and thankfully got some free alcohol. They got together, but some time later, the biker with his gang come there, and well, they argue for some money. At this point, I'm at 300ml of vodka and 2 glasses of wine, I no longer care, so I go home. Next day, I hear that a fight happened. Lucky me. Couple days later, the dude who actually owned a gun, chased her and the weirdo through town just for fun. A few weeks later, I get out with her, and whilst we were both pretty good looking people, in a fancy bar, drinking whiskey and vodka, she gets a phone call. She starts to put her hands as if she's praying and starts murmuring something. "You ok?", "Leave me for a bit!". I did for about 10 mins. I thought this was a joke. No, she actually got a phone call from someone to do incantations. This is Eastern Europe, not Africa, mind you. Eventually, I snapped, tried one last time to give me a chance, but she was with this weirdo, she told me "no", so I broke up. Went for a prostitute before my admission exam to forget her before my exam. Couple months later, whilst at my new uni in a different city, I ask her to give me some advice with some logic homework. She helps me out pretty well, we gel up again. When I get back in my hometown, we get back, her relationship sucks, and so on. We rarely talked about "what went wrong" because she never wanted to. She just wanted things to go forward. And we didn't talk again, her bf was clearly mad at this, whilst I felt bad for him, thinking that I made a mistake. She called me at her place (rare occasion...) few days later, "we and others might throw a little party".. She was dressed...well, casually, but sorta sexy casual. I brought two bottles of wine. We talked, she seemed really happy and touchy-feely about me getting back to her. However, I felt disgusted by this, internally. Afterwards, she felt sort of offended I brought an extra bottle of wine. Yea, you get the message. Tried to talk with her on FB. At one point, I ask her what she's doing. She's like "Sex. Lots of sex." I get angry, we argue, break it up with her, go to a prostitute again. Couple days later, I meet my first girlfriend ever. Our relationship was OK-ish, but she was no longer interested, she wanted to break it up on my 21st birthday, I broke it up, she told me "hey, let's stay friends", "hey, how about no." Failed my first university year. After that, I had to go home, and just study for my admission again, since my parents started to think that I lost my minds (since, well, personal secrets in my family, are never secrets, sadly.) Got myself sorted out, in many ways. The last year felt like a prison. Haven't had a job, haven't had extra stuff. Got admitted with a pretty good grade, started "sorting myself out", thanks to Jordan Peterson's lectures. Feel like a better, more grounded person. I've even went for JP's self-authoring suite, still wanna write the past and future ones. Haven't went to prostitutes, avoided promiscuous behavior, avoided toxic people. I did do one last thing before JP's stuff, that was messaging this girl on New Year's Eve after, well, 4 hours slept in a total of 4 nights. But asked her quickly to block me. I found out later, from a acquaintance I found out that, according to the biker, the chick might have been pregnant. It's dubious information, since when he went with her, he was married. I sadly still think about her, and some toxic thoughts appear now and then, and I have just the following two questions in mind: 1. I believe in trust with your partner. How will I ever tell my future wife (whoever she might be) that I went for prostitutes? I won't? Did I fuck up my mind for life? 2. With this toxic relationship of mine - I still think about her, stalk her occasionally when I'm drunk, but I haven't done something seriously in the past time. Am I insane, or will time clear things up? I kept writing about her, thinking it might clear up my mind, but perhaps I should structure what went bad with her, and write this more often. Thanks to whoever had the patience to read this, and sorry for the long wall of text.

There's a fun thought experiment in store for you, and in the end I demonstrate how 'atheist' and 'MGTOW' are the same thing, which is pretty cool. But it's less to do with that example. Sorta jumping the gun but whatever. I'm starting a project I suppose you can help with or appreciate. Basically, I believe that where there is some content of truth within any perspective that's logically consistent. Yet, that truth isn't a matter of conclusion but one of relationship. So let's try a thought experiment! I'll show what I mean through numbers. Ex: I ask 3 people to solve for 'x'. The Christian says the answer is 3. The MGTOW says the answer is 5. The Conservative says the answer is 11. These numbers only represent some conclusion they've crafted in response to 'x' (some problem). Then they argue and carry on as they do. But then you ask this: Solve for 'y'. The Christian says the answer is 3.6. The MGTOW says the answer is 6. The Conservative says the answer is 13.2. Then you keep doing this over and over again. You can also do this merely by studying their content, of course. Now, all their conclusions are different. But you're not interested in their conclusions. Instead, you're interested in how their conclusions relate to each other. You want to see how x relates to y, how one conclusion they have relates to another. From there, you're trying to establish a trend. You're trying to see if irrespective of their conclusions, the way they relate to each other is the same. Think of it like a different language. The term 'fear' is different in a host of languages and you wouldn't understand them. But should you inquire their term for spiders, anxiety, terror, etc., you'd be able to establish how each term relates to the others and so finally understand their language. Takes a long time granted, but it's how you do it. Learn the word. Learn its relation. Learn the language. Yet what's more, if we delve into our own understanding of terms in our own language. We come to find out that we understand these terms through relation as well. Think about it. Not only is every word, every abstraction reliant on others to understand it, to frame it within reality. But without those others things existing, you wouldn't be able to define the term let alone even create the abstraction. It's like the physical law(?)of how everything that exists is an effect and produces an effect. So everything that exists does so by virtue of interaction. Be that with something else or time or whatever. It's a neat ontological idea and one that's been plenty explored - true too, I think. What that means is that everything that exists, or rather everything we recognize as existing, does so in our minds by virtue of relationship. It's not an 'is', it doesn't 'just exist'. There needs to be a how, a constitution of some sort. Science bears this out and might even be a product of our minds more than anything. See, every time we find a gap in a cause and effect system, we create something to be responsible for it. Then we try to demonstrate its existence in some fashion. If successful, we try to find a gap in this new cause and effect system, the next thing to be responsible for it, and so create something there and so on and so forth. Truly, those things, those particles for the most part, are placeholders. It's freaky, but they might not actually exist. They've all been the product of attempting to understand a relationship. We say that a proton effects an atom in this way which effects a molecule in this way which effects a larger molecule this way and so on until, I dunno, you form an apple. But we know in reality that where we started, the proton (or whatever the smallest particle we identify) is what the whole thing is supposedly made of. There is no 'atom'. It's a grouping of protons(in this example). Just like there is no 'forest', there's only a bunch of trees. So really, what we're doing when we create all these other particles from proton to apple, is we're creating intermediaries to better understand the relationship protons have to apples. We look at it like a step-by-step process, but we've actually no reason to. Nothing happens 'first' in this system, since it's only one relationship in reality: proton to apple and even then, it's we who are calling this set of protons an apple in the first place. The only truth we've actually discerned from this is the nature of the relationship itself. It's component parts are intermediaries only for our own understanding. It's seen as step 1, 2, 3, 4, etc., but there aren't any steps. Or if you want, there's only one. One that we separate into different steps because we can't understand it any other way: proton->apple. Again a freaky thought, yet our language works this way. What 'humility' (or any word) is, is a product only of all its relationships to its component parts as well as its outcome in reality i.e. how you understand it. So not only do you need the existence of these other concepts, these other words to define and so understand 'humility', but you need an entire network of other words all linked together in some fashion. You need a 'language Matrix', a universe. This operational network, this modeling of reality would thus be a product not of individuals, of certain intrinsic beings, but one of relationship. The words would only be like nodes in a computer chip(protons, molecules, etc.). They only SEND the SIGNAL along. They only TRANSLATE the RELATIONSHIP along. It's WHERE that signal is sent that determines the function and so purpose of the node. Imagine being inside a hollow white sphere dotted with little black circles on the inside surface. When you 'select' a circle it shows all its connections to the others using, I dunno, lasers. All of them are connected yet all of them are different. That's how I envision it. So yeah, entertain the thought. How you understand something isn't due to some intrinsic, innate, 'entirely distinct from everything else' quality, no. You understand it in how it has an 'entirely distinct from everything else' relationship to well, everything else you know ON THE WHOLE. No matter what it is it hits all the nodes, but travels along them in a different path. For example, the node for 'war' isn't connected to 'good' unless routed first through 'soldier' and then 'defense' or whatever. And yes, the relationship of even those nodes are created in the same fashion, having their own unique connections to other nodes and so on. The beauty is that their inter-connectivity is technically all the same giant Matrix, but starting at a different node yields a different perspective of this connectivity. So no matter what, your mind never links 'war' with 'good' directly, or whatever the nature of this would actually be. (It's a thought experiment after all). So on the whole, this is your model of reality. This set of relationships is your 'truth'. So in this thought experiment, the nodes themselves, the words are irrelevant. They're all equally 'words' or 'beliefs' or 'positions' or 'WHATs' without distinction. What distinguishes them is 'HOW'. It's their interconnections that determines their uniqueness. Now if that were true, then what someone says is true or believes is true isn't actually relevant to what's true or even, believe it or not, their own understanding. The node doesn't matter. What matters is its relationship to the other nodes. So consider another person's connected nodes. They may have two nodes connected that you don't. So to you, they might seem like entirely unrelated phenomena. But if their understanding of something shares the same relationship you have regarding something else, if they have the same inter-connectivity but starting at a different node, then suffice it to say you believe the same thing, but only in a different language. Get it? So if their node for 'war' is linked nearly identically to everything your node for 'pragmatism' is connected to, then it's entirely likely that your understanding of 'pragmatism' is actually their understanding of 'war'. Sounds like a neat if probably impossible idea, but that's what I'm looking for. I'm finding it too, BTW. Remember those numbers? x = 3, 5, 11 y = 3.6, 6, 13.2 Well, 'y' is a product of this equation: y = (x/5)+x This is what I keep finding. So long as these groups are attempting to discern truth, they're forced to do so with regard to a certain matter and within a certain perspective since well, everyone has their biases. But wherever they deem to find it, it starts to create parallel relationships to other terms. Their conclusions are different yes, but their relationship to their conclusions, and its relationship to others, begins to develop an eerie congruity. So it is that their conclusions may be absolutely false, but their relationship to their conclusions and subsequent relationships therein, mirror our own within a different, supposedly unrelated subject. I take it you want an example and good, clean one. Simple: MGTOW are to women what atheists are to God. Strip away what each of those terms represent and simply look at the relationship between them. Everything the atheist says of God is true of what the MGTOW says of women. Remember, the 'nodes' don't matter. It's the relationship between the nodes that does. Atheists claim there is no 'God'. It's a product of your own desire for it and subsequent projection of meaning into it. MGTOW claim there is no 'woman'. It's a product of your own desire for it and subsequent projection of meaning into it. Atheists attempt to reconstitute 'God' as it actually exists i.e. the effect it actually produces in reality. MGTOW attempt to reconstitute 'Woman' as it actually exists i.e. the effect it actually produces in reality. 'God' doesn't exist as described, so atheists study the nature of the theist (true believer) to best determine the nature of 'God' as an abstraction. 'Woman' doesn't exist as described, so MGTOW study the nature of the gynocentrist (true believer) to best determine the nature of 'woman' as an abstraction. Atheists don't pray. MGTOW don't hope (no NAWALT). Atheists don't tithe. MGTOW don't pay. Atheists don't attend church. MGTOW don't take 'Women's Studies'. Atheists don't become priests. MGTOW don't become feminists. Atheists don't value God, seeing only the possible benefits of delusion and social cohesion. MGTOW don't value women, seeing only the possible benefits of delusion and social cohesion. Now, this isn't just some mad-lib or 'fill-in-the-blanks' sort of scenario. This matter of relationship is 1:1. In this case, both represent the loss of an abstraction, the loss of a certain connectivity of nodes, and a reconstitution as how they actually exist. But amazingly, that reconstitution is exactly the same. We would think this is impossible given the nature of these concepts. But if we remove any notion of what they're meant to represent, to see them as empty words, as mere nodes in our model of reality, they can be absolutely equal given the same array of relationship. The same relationship to the self, to the individual. And that's what's happening. This is why Jordan Peterson has paralleled very well (I've done better - maybe) the link between Genesis and consciousness. Also, the nature of God as truth, Jesus as the relationship truth has to ourselves, and with the Holy Spirit as the process of reconciling this through discernment. I've already gone into the Christian with this same tool to great effect. I linked them with scientists. Again, uncanny and offers some explanation of why Christian Europe was so instrumental to the scientific revolution. The Holy Trinity is the Scientific Method. Watch a good preacher talk about God and shift him into a scientist talking about the nature of truth. It will follow suit. I've posted something related to this in the Religion section just now, if you're interested. Anyway, yeah. Finding evidence for this is all I'm up to at the moment. Atheist and MGTOW are well-established, but I'd like to try more. I know some will see atheist and MGTOW both as a product of disillusionment and that's all they really share in common. But if you look at the relationship they have to their beliefs, how it shapes their identity, intentions, interactions, and others, the commonality continues unabated. So if you take yourself as an atheist and shift your node, shift your perspective so that 'God' lines up with 'woman', you'll at the very least be able to better understand MGTOW. Sympathize too, since as a matter of language and its relationship to themselves, they aren't technically wrong on principle. I actually encourage you to try it - if you can. Write out your relationship to 'God' then convert it to woman, following through on all the same relationships 'God' had. The impetus to MGTOW makes sense too, after that. No personal motivations or intentions are required to create it. Just lose the abstraction of 'woman'. Same goes for atheist with regard to God, obviously. There is no particular intention or motivation required. Instead, a loss of intention is. Same for MGTOW and to the same result. I guess the takeaway is that when it comes to things that aren't real, that are just ideas - especially lost ones, we can better discern our understanding of them strictly through their relationship to other ideas, not of any intrinsic quality. It also serves to simplify so many things, given one can only have so many relationships to belief anyway, if you think about it. It could probably even be charted using maths. +,-,x,/ and all that. Your model of reality converted into algebra? Complicated as all hell, but I think we could do it. Hope this was fun. PS - There's a Numberphile video on YouTube regarding Surreal Numbers. Just Google it. Watch a mad-genius create our entire collection of numbers(means more than it sounds) using only this ' : '. He's half the reason I think I'm right about this, since he's created everything using only the concept of 'greater' and 'lesser' or: 0 and 1. If I'm right about nodes, at the most basic level it is binary i.e. connected or not. There's other parallels though, obviously. The philosophical process of attribution i.e. distinction i.e. individuation, as a major one.

I've been dating a girl upwards of three years now. We generally get along very well but I have some huge problems with her family and we both agree that they're not great and we'd like to reduce their influence on our lives in the long run. They're pretty authoritarian and I watch how the mom constantly tells her brother to do things like chores and schoolwork in a borderline yelling way pointing fingers several inches from his face. There's not a lot of back and forth communication in the family - it's hierarchical. I just turned 25. She's just shy of 21 and currently in the 2nd half of her undergraduate college and her parents would not permit us to live together until marriage. I don't strongly disagree with the importance of a committed relationship but my fear is that they will always be a presence in our life going forward. Meanwhile, I've already stopped talking to my own family (~1 year ago) because of the way the treated me during my childhood with no genuine apology or reparations to date yet based on what I've seen in the family and heard from her, I imagine that she and her brother had it even worse in her household. We've already discussed possible answers to the problem. Currently it would involve giving her parents the marriage their looking for (involves inviting them to the wedding as well as many of her relatives), then telling them that we would like to reduce their presence in our life. This would be more of a soft break as opposed to a hard one where we go against their wishes and break ties after something like a verbal argument. One problem I have with the soft approach is that I'm not sure that would be enough to really remove them and also that in the long run it does little to make the situation better. A family that got told offhandedly to shove it would feel more or less the same as a family where you walked out the door and stopped taking phone calls, right? In addition, giving them the privilefge of dictating wedding terms and how our relationship goes does seem a bit self-defeating. We've talked about it a handful of times to various lengths but when I bring it up now, she tends to get annoyed. She points out that there's no point in talking about something that we've already reached our solution on. She doesn't want to keep them close in the long run but admits that there's little that we could do about it now without stirring up a hornets nest. Am I right to keep bringing up something that I have a problem with when I don't have any other solution (since basically it's get married or she has to stay with her family)? Values wise I clearly have an internal problem stomaching having her family in my life. In a way, I think when I keep bringing it up it's a plead for her to cut ties but it would be incredibly discomforting for her to do that in her life at the moment (if at all). Probably worth mentioning that the same kind of frustration and annoyance seems to come out from her when I rant too heavily about the state of the world and politics which I've been pretty passionate about lately.

Hi FDR. I'm a 20 year old woman from Canada currently dating a 20 year old man from the US. We both met online, and we're pretty early in our relationship. I met him about a month ago, and we've been together for about 3 weeks now. He's my first boyfriend, and since we're thousands of miles away, it takes quite a bit of effort to maintain, as well as a lot of trust. The reason I decided to date this guy was because we're both in to the alt-right movement, and are anti-feminist, anti-globalist, and we're both interested in getting married in our mid-20s and having at least 5 kids. He supports my goal of eventually leaving my current full-time career once I have children to become a stay at home mom, and he also supports my desire to not have PIV sex before marriage. He also supports my desire to homeschool any kids we have. Even though we've only been talking for a month, we've both fallen head over heels for each other, despite the fact we've never talked over Skype and only through text chat and swapping selfies of each other. We've spent up to 10 hours chatting with each other over Discord. He's currently in university and lives with 8 other people, so he hasn't had the opportunity to have a facetime with me since he's always being interrupted by drunk roommates. We've both told each other "I love you" and since we have so many compatibilities, both in our love of romantic gestures, and in our long-term goals and politics, it was hard not to fall in love with him. Before we started dating, I asked him the usual Stefan tells FDR listeners to ask suitors. Long-term goals, about children, how they want to raise children, their views on circumcision, discipline, schooling, as well as what his family is like, his childhood was like, and about his sexual history. He told me he had dated a few girls online, but had never met them in real life, so he was still a 100% virgin. Never even kissed anyone. I'm the same way, I've never dated anyone, so I'm still a virgin. When we were having a chat today, he let it slip that he had met one of his exes in real life back when they were dating. This then prompted the question of how it was possible that he'd met her and hadn't kissed her. He then admitted he had kissed her, and upon my asking if anything else beyond that happened, he shut down and said he was uncomfortable talking about it. This was a major red flag for me. It really broke my heart, not that he had an ex he'd slept with, but the fact he lied about being a virgin. I was contemplating breaking up with him right then and there. He told me the reason he lied was because he had only broken up with his ex of a year 2 months ago and that he felt it was "TMI". He said he wouldn't want to know about my sexual history either, and that he feels the past is in the past. He told me it wasn't personal, that he wouldn't have told any girl he's dating about his sexual past. My problem wasn't that he "didn't bring up" his sexual history, but that he lied about it. He explained that he wanted to make me feel that we'd share the experience of first kissing better if I thought I was his first too. I'm really confused as to what to do now. I consulted my brother (he's also an FDR listener) and he told me to simply take some time to think and let my feelings settle, and realize there are other good men out there I don't have to be in an online relationship with who also want to have a large, traditional family, who also want to homeschool their kids and want a homemaker wife. He told me it's good I discovered this red flag only a month in to the relationship since some people find it out 5 years after marrying someone. My boyfriend told me this is the only thing he lied about, and mainly because he doesn't like talking about past relationships. I don't know if I can trust anything he says now since this is such a big lie. But at the same time, besides this lie, we were so compatible. - Want to homeschool kids to avoid them from being indocrinated - Anti-spanking since it's cruel and ineffective - Anti-circumcusion - Pro-Trump - Want to get married in mid-20s and have at least 5 kids - Non-religious - Health-conscious and exercise regularly - Alt-right - He's going to a good university with a degree that will give him a great job - Parents are still together - We both don't smoke or do drugs like weed - Willing to wait until marriage for PIV sex (to avoid pregnancy and ensure a greater likelihood any marriage will work) He's also incredibly romantic, amiable, and just generally makes me feel like a million bucks when I speak to him. I just don't know whether he lied because he made a mistake and didn't want to hurt my feelings, or because it's a red flag he's immature and will lie again AKA I should break up with him. Before this happened, I legitimately thought this was a man I could marry. FDR, please tell this lady your thoughts. I'm really confused right now.

I've recently been considering writing something about the parent child relationship and how its internalized, and I probably still will at some point. I'm bringing it up now because I just had a very emotionally and mentally challenging day while resolving some conflicts within the family and its related to the parent child relationship. The conflicts lead me to writing something to help me get back to a place of calm because I was very distressed during this time. I'll probably expand more on it later when I'm not as drained as I am right now, but I wanted to share the short bit that I just finished writing. Just to be clear this is very much emotional writing, not an intellectual argument being made. What I wrote: Where there is a child, there is a parent. Where there is a girl, there is a hero. They are inseparable just as weakness and strength is found within one another. The relationship with always exist, for one cannot be born without parent and one cannot exist having not ever been a child. The child and the parent. The girl and the hero. Weakness and strength. Need and resource. There is no shame in one or the other as both exist to serve one's survival. To fight one is to fight yourself. To hate one is to hate what keeps you alive. Weakness is not a passing stage in one's life but rather a companion that should never be forgotten. It is irreplaceable as one's own child and just as precious. It is a messenger that brings word of need. It gives council as to where one's focus should be and what yet must be learned. To who does it give it's message and council? It is to the parent, to the hero. It summons for the strength and resources carried within. If you accept and respect both parts of this relationship the message will be received and the summons will be heard. Where once you stumbled blindly, you will now be guided by wisdom. While before you fell, beaten by the cruelty of others you now rise, deflecting and shielded from those who would do you harm. When you are surrounded by those who are unable or unwilling to hear, you will always find a sensitive listener within. The girl needs her hero just as the hero needs the girl. Unity is the reward for those who love both.

I just wanted everyone to know that I have reached that moment where you look at all your hard work and finally find yourself feeling that it was all worth it instead of having to tell yourself it WILL be all worth it eventually. I was on the bus and I just started thinking about my family and how I have, for the most part, dealt with them, and how excited I am to start my new family with the most amazing man on this entire planet! We've been together for 5 years and we are completely committed, and have such a great, loving, honest, compassionate, and nurturing relationship. He is actually the one that introduced me to FDR. And let me tell you, we were going down such a dangerous path because we let our parents and our pasts speak through us and dictate our actions and irrational behavior. And don't get me wrong, it was really tough going there for a while. But we both confronted our pasts, no matter how painful and uncomfortable and we talked, and still do. We have taken so many steps to rid our lives of people who aren't virtuous and moral. That includes family, friends, and basically everyone. We pretty much only have each other. We will continue to work everyday to make our lives together, and our future children's lives, better. I know better is pretty vague, but if we have such a great relationship right now, and strive to "better" ourselves everyday, by the time our children get here, I'm going to be a wonderful mother, and he will be a wonderful father. I couldn't think of a better father, husband, or friend than him. Anyways, I know this was really mushy and all that, but I just had to express how happy I am right now and how excited I am for the future.

I've recorded a few new videos. Here's one of them, where I talk about healthy ways of handling differences in personal relationships and of changing people's minds. Part two coming soon.

So I met this girl about two and a half weeks ago at a college social club and we hit it off well. While we would talk in person while at the club, we began to converse primarily through email and text for the majority of these two weeks due to both of us being busy with classes. At first, the majority f our conversation revolved around music, but soon grew to include psychology and philosophy. We met for the first time outside of club last Thursday to prepare and share dinner at my place. We ate, we danced, and we talked for hours after we finessed eating. The problem occurred when we kissed. This was about thirty minutes into the evening, and about 15-30 minutes later she brought up that she has a boyfriend for the first time. This is what prompted us to talk for several hours after dinner and really delve deep into our personal histories. Initially, she mentioned that she felt bad about unknowingly leading me on and that this was the first time that she ever cheated since she holds trust and loyalty to relationships as highly important. Later on, she stated that she may have been willing to come over and kiss me rather than have me cook at her place because of the emotionlessness and passivity of her current boyfriend. We almost made out 3 other times and ended up making out once before I drove her home. It is clear that we like each other. In fact, she mentioned that she would have no problem dating me if she was single. Based on my morals, I presented that possibility that we remain friends, due to what we have in common, but with the understanding that I would like more should she become single. She agreed to this. Since then, we have continued to talk and text almost daily, although now our conversations are even more personal that they were before Thursday. In addition, I have seen her boyfriend she he came to the club on Friday and he really reamed like a serious, quite, and emotionless person. Like a 1 or 2 on a scale where 10 is extremely emotional. I have been thinking about her for a while. I smile when I think about her. I have dreamt about her every night since Thursday. I feel at ease around her, never having to lie or watch my words when talking to her. I am sad that she is in a relationship, but I am happy that she talks to me. What I know about her through our conversations: Her life goal is to help people, possibly by becoming a psychiatrist and opening a clinic in China She believes in gender equality, but not feminism She is extremely open to Anarcho-Capitalism Her skeptisims of any of my views comes from curiosity instead of biased opinions She has a love for some of her Chinese culture, but is not weighed down or overly biased by it when it comes to objective reasoning She is quick to raise questions about cultural biases and contradictions that she sees She is not religious although she said that she was spiritual, which seems to put her around agnosticism She is emotionally present and expresses them freely with me She lives her virtues, as evidenced by taking a semester of school off to help her family when her mother broke her leg and could not properly take care of their household She is passionate about the same types of music and films as me She has had therapy and sees the value in it She laughs at most of my jokes We have talked about our dating histories, though not in too specific terms yet She began therapy after she had problems with her first boyfriend, who was absusive Her other boyfriends since then (3-4 total) were not abusive, though she has been the dominant one in these relationships She has agreed to the definition that love is our involuntary response to virtue She genuinely listens to me She is a foreign student from Shanghai, China She is not like my mom, and this is a good thing She is the most comfortable girl that I have ever been around She does not do drugs nor smokes and rarely drinks What I guess I'm trying to get at is this: Would entering a romantic relationship with this girl be a good or bad idea, considering what I know, should she become single? Is my continued friendship with her inherently manipulative considering our agreement and her current relationship? Are there any questions that I should ask her that would help answer my questions? Is she really a good girl, or am I projecting virtue? Am I not thinking about something? Please help me if you can

This post was written during the worst period of time after the most traumatic events of my entire life. I have redacted it, and apologize to those who read it for sharing this experience here. On the bright side, I have been in therapy for ~2 years and am happier, healthier, and wiser than ever before. Peace

Hi there! In the podcast 'Paid to Not Masturbate - Sunday Call In Show December 15th, 2013' Stefan said that such thing as a contract is needed when there is no trust between parties. And if there is trust in people's relationship, contract is not necessary. I totally agree with that. Indeed, I do not have a contract with my English teacher, for example. I know him very well, I want to study English and therefore I do not miss the lessons and pay for them on time. He also knows me, loves teaching and shows up at work every day. The contract is redundant. This led me to think about marriage, since it is a social contract where two people promise to be together, love each other, etc. Let's assume that we live in a stateless atheistic society. Would we still have marriage? Obviously, romantic relationships are the strongest and most important relationships in our life. If the less important relationship between a student and a teacher does not need a contract, why would a couple need it? What would change when I get married? I will be able to call my girlfriend my wife, she will have my last name and… that's probably it. Is the purpose of marriage to only change names and make the family tree easier to follow? What do you think? Am I missing something? I'd appreciate your thoughts.

It is called Village Wisdom Podcast and available via iTunes here -- https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/village-wisdom-podcast/id916496501 The target audience is young women and teens so may not be appropriate for most here. I felt that I needed to fill in that gap a little bit in educating about peaceful parenting. And specifically I felt I needed to offer the wisdom from my own mistakes to hopefully make a difference in at least one child's life. My children are grown and have children of their own and I cannot get their childhood's back for them. However, i can reach other young women and attempt to stop them from making the mistake of having a child when you are still a child. I'm no philosopher but I have lots of life experience to share. I'm completely on board with peaceful parenting and working diligently to help that movement progress forward at an even more rapid pace. A more important focus of the podcast is being prepared -- really, really prepared -- for marriage or life partnership and having children. Peaceful parenting will be a no-brainer for these women. Thanks for listening and please post reviews and comments on iTunes as they will expect it and bug me about it. More importantly, it will help me get the word out.

After a bit of talk to my therapist a month, I have just made the decision to myself to get some distance between me and my parents. I have been considering sharing a place with some people and doing a room-share situation. Pay rent for a room and common-area usage. I have found one where the landlord already has two tenants, and she posted an add on Craigslist for the last room.I am almost on the verge of freaking out and fogging, so I would like to get a second opinion about the situation and if it is a good idea to take this opportunity.Ok so first of all my criteria for the Room-Share situation is: 1. Be close to where I work.2. Be a decent neighborhood with no bullets flying around. 3. Be relatively cheap. 4. Have tenants + landlord that are not dangerous to be around. I have met the first 3 but the last one I cannot say, or don't have the experience or the consciousness to determine. The first interview with the landlord: She asked if she could pick me up, I said I work here and at this time I get off and we can meet here. I then did not feel comfortable about having someone pick me up without knowing at least a bit about them. After talking a bit with some ppl in the chat here, I had decided to ask the person to meet me near my workplace, at a local IHOP. We met up and I told her that I would feel uncomfortable if I would go in a car with a stranger and she accepted to have a short convo before going to the house. After a little talk, I felt like she was not going to strangle me and throw me inside the dumpster, and went ahead with her. We reached her house and talked a little and met both tenants, one a 26 year old goth looking type girl, and a white gay guy that looked anxious and did not talk to me much besides an introduction. Both of the tenants are nannies, the girl out of home, the guy in home. Alarming things about landlord: -She is a horror fan and has a life size Jason mannequin. -She had abusive alcoholic parents -She is not married and only has boyfriends. -She does not have kids. -She had done some relationship counseling in her past -She had tenants that: had periodic night time manly visitors, were alcoholics. Only specifically 2 tenants. I'm not sure how to proceed, since three of the criteria are met but the last one I am having a hard time deciding or having the foresight to know if it can be dangerous.Any help.

Hello everyone, every now and then i get the strong urge to talk to some logical, rational and philosophical people. ​I live in a very sparsely populated area in Wales, UK and although this will be changing in the near future, i would very much like to make some new friends on here, people i can a proper conversation with and chat about Freedomain. The forum is a bit difficult for me to chat on, with the ease and accessibility being so much better with other applications like Facebook or Whatsapp. A long while ago Stef mentioned that it might be a good idea to have a look on the forum if any of the listeners had interest in relationships with people that have a bit of self knowledge. So i guess this is where i am starting. I would like to welcome anyone to start a conversation whether its something like a pen-pal or just a quick chat, it would just be great to get to know some new people, i have my future in mind. Maybe after an introduction we could chat on facebook or some other app. Kind regards Duncan Russell

Hi everyone, thank you for stopping in. I'm in a desperate situation, even more so than the last year or two. As I have been learning from Stef and the community here and I have been trying to put the principals into action in my life by trying to get myself away from abusive people. In an attempt to do this I have moved a total of 7 times in the last 2 years. I have been jobless half that time due to poor choices of work environments and what I believe to be severe depression. Most recently I moved in with my father which has proved to be the most damaging for me. Putting it mildly, he is a tyrant. He is almost a clone of a mobster you see in Hollywood movies. I mean, he bullies, can't listen, name calls, escalates fast, and recently has been psychically abusive to me. It started with me defending a roommate that lives with him. He was yelling and cussing at him for not getting him cigarettes while he was out. The reason why his roommate takes this abuse is because my father lets him stay for free and feeds him. Thats the same reason why my mother and myself live with him too. I calmly tried to stop his abuse and then he turned to me by screaming in my face and repeatedly pushing me with his hands and chest. I in turn escalated verbally by telling him what he was, a abusive piece of trash along with other things. After us going back and forth yelling he got in my face again and thrust the bottom of his palm into my cheek so hard my head was thrown back. He then screams that I pushed him in which did not happen. My mom pulled him away from me by his shirt while me and my girlfriend called the police. The cops arrived and got everyones story. I tried to press charges against him but, the cops said that they would have to arrest me as well since he said I pushed him first. Even though I have 2 others that witnessed the whole thing. I would then either have to bond out or sit a few days in jail. After that they would have a judge determine each of our fates. I declined doing that mostly because, I had work in the morning. At the end of the night the cops convinced him to let me use his vehicle for the time being so that we can separate for the night. After work the next day and after going -50.00 on my card for a hotel room me and my mother talked on the phone and she said that my father wanted the vehicle back to put it in a repair shop and that I can come back to stay. Also that he was giving me the vehicle and I just have to pay the 300 for the title transfer. I said that I am seriously thinking of going into a homeless shelter instead and walking the 3 hours to and from work. She began saying that I'm causing her so much stress and to please come to the house. needless to say I was extremely hurt that she was still with my dad in the first place and that she was blaming me for her stress. I decided to go back to my father house very grudgingly so that I can get the vehicle back and use the Internet to find another place to live through charities and the like. Ive been here 2 weeks and after talking to many places I have very few options of moving out anytime soon. It'll be at least another month or two to save up for a deposit and first months rent between the both of us. Salvation army said that they might help if I pay off the deposit and have proof that I am moving because of an emergency. It's frustrating that I am the one to suffer far more. I had to bring in the police report to excuse my absence at work. I had to ask my banker to take off charges for overdrawing and explain what happened. I had to research and call these charities that are completely indifferent to my situation and who try to rush me off the phone as soon as they can. I had to use mostly my resources to meet up with landlords and tour apartments. Ive noticed that when I'm at work talking to guest that remind me of my father I sometimes get very upset even though they aren't being abusive, just simply mannerisms like him and I can feel myself tense up. Hearing his voice and walking past him I feel enraged and disgusted. He got to hit me in the face and all he had to do was give away a truck that's worth a few thousand. My therapy alone will cost more. The list goes on and on. I live near Chicago, IL and If anyone can help me with food, money, gas, or shelter. It would be so greatly appreciated. I would also pay the debt back with money, time, ect. I'm open to ideas. Thank you very much for taking the time to read, Alex

Hi everyone, Thanks for stopping in. I wanted to talk about a situation that happened earlier today with my girlfriend and my feelings that sprang from it. Me and her have issues we are both working on and one of them that I discussed with her previously about was, how she tends to rely on others to help her with allot of daily task. I mean, to the point where it seems almost unhealthy to me. For example, she'll ask throughout the day if i can get her drinks, make her food, do her dishes, or even ask me if I can help her with something just out of her reach even though I'm across the room. This sounds very innocent as I'm typing it out but, in the moment for me it can make me aggravated with her because, It seems like she is not a independent adult and to be clear, I don't mind helping my loved ones with these things but, it's just that she can ask very frequently. She has improved this allot recently but still sometimes falls back into it from time to time, like earlier today. She and our roommate went to talk with our neighbor about teaching her how to crochet. later on, she sent him (our roommate) back to me to get the supplies she forgot. This made me angry. Almost to the point where my face gets flushed and I'm not sure why. I mean, it is a little annoying that she is relying on another again but, I can't pinpoint why I felt that much anger. Later on the anger turned into sadness just as Stef has mentioned in his previous pod-cast. It just seems like I'm over reacting to the situation or there is something I'm not fully understanding that my unconscious is trying to tell me. I would appreciate any help into this. If you guys/gals have any questions or any insight to this, I would love to hear them. Thanks again.

When we think about happiness, I think people imagine the feeling that pleasure brings you, the uplifted mood, the quenching of some hunger, the relief that comes from being giving to yourself instead of denying yourself what it wants. Happiness is what occurs after one is done realizing the enriching flow of satisfaction, happiness lingers and is always there, its there when you are thinking more clearly because you got up out of bed, and made time for yourself to get some exercise, it is there when you have friends who genuinely love you for who you are, and it is especially there when being courageous leaves you stinging in the gut afterwards. You realize in these moments that happiness is continuous, the brighter path that one takes everyday because they did what was good, not only for themselves but for their loved ones, the ones they respect now and the ones they may never meet in the future, it is the effect of virtue. Happiness is waking up loving the fact that you are alive, it is all around respect for existence, and it pays off when you look around and see the world, dark as it may be, with cold people sleeping on the steps off of the street and cold people in the buildings as they lurch over them and shrug their shoulders. I imagine they live with that guilt, that realization, deep within themselves, it must be there, that they are somehow not living a life well lived. Happiness is the little things, its having the love of your life respect you, its also showing them that the world is not so lonely and hostile. But pleasure on the other hand is what tears us apart, it reaches into us like a spectre and becomes us, it is the addiction to happiness without the cause, the nihilistic notion that nothing else matters so we will be content, living shortly, briefly but without pause to consider what exactly does short term gain actually get us. canker sores, and loneliness, and beatings that are too many times done by ourselves, by that with is perceived as good and wholesome, the sheep in sheep's clothing that leaves one feeling alone, and vain and self destructive. A little bit of a rambling, I began writing and just let it flow, avoiding distraction. maybe happiness is rambling, on and on about the things you love and avoiding the distractions that tell you it cannot be so and that it is not worth it. ~Feel free to tell me what you think about what I wrote. If anything doesn't make sense, if you would care to expand of some of the concepts that you think I am getting at in this little description. By all means, expand upon this, someone else write a story about pleasure and happiness, a poem, a picture, (Philosophical) Quotes, anything really. I am interested very much so in the importance that this distinction has in living a good life. Is pleasure always bad? are there different types of pleasure? share some stories about how you became happier, share one of the happiest moments of your life...

Hey everyone. First, I'll give some context. This girl, Athena, I have met through my scholarship group at the University of Utah. She's an Architecture major, and we are also taking an Architectural design class together. I had a crush on her for about 3 weeks, before she basically told me that she could tell and that she would give me a chance. We went on a date, and then she came to the conclusion that she wanted to be together, as I agreed. More on her; she doesn't listen to FDR or isn't too intellectual, but I feel comfortable talking about the topics of philosophy and this show, as well as Ayn Rand etc. and she receives them well. She doesn't reciprocate as much as I'd like, but she is receptive and reactive in a positive way. I like her because she *seems* to have had a fairly positive childhood, and thus is able to nurture a partner well, as I thought. She reacts with disgust toward the topic of child abuse, and when I told her stories about my childhood she demonstrated healthy empathy. She's pretty curious about things, and she wants to understand me. There is one catch though--she's never had a boyfriend, or even kissed a guy. She's 19, and I'm 18. We also talk about a lot in the relationship; our feelings, our worries, concerns, etc. Like for example, we talked about how it was going to be different, because she's never had a boyfriend, and I've never had a girlfriend who hasn't had a boyfriend (no experience). We talked about how we need our own space, and that first we are individuals, and that we don't want to be hanging out with one another if it isn't beneficial to us/makes us happy. But what I don't like, is that it's been like 2 weeks and we've barely held hands--It's very odd for me, to be with a girl who doesn't really know how relationships work, I guess is how I would put it. She doesn't know how to really initiate physical affection, even if she wants it. Also, she's very busy as an Architecture major, and doesn't have a lot of time--something we've talked about, and I acknowledge she has little control over. So, the dilemma is that I don't know if it's good for me to let myself be in a romantic relationship but logistically not be a high priority (due to time commitments). I.e. I think it's hard for me to say "I am good, important, and have valuable things to offer in a romantic relationship." While being with someone who only the capacity to date as more of a casual, rather than close interaction. Hopefully that made some sense, and I'd like some input, questions, etc. I'm pretty ambivalent at the moment, even thought I like her and think I would like to continue the relationship; I plan to talk to her about this, but I wanted to know what all the smarties on the FDR board thought, haha.

So, sitting on my bed in my room writing this, since I can't fall asleep, coughing out my lungs. No, no that bad, just a virus or something messing with me Anyway, there is a topic that I have thought of (and still am thinking about), that bugs me. A lot. It's the ''Against me'' argument (is it correct to call it an argument?) that Stef presents. In case you aren't familiar to this argument, heres a video with Stef laying it out: Anyways, what is bugging me is that I understand what Stef is saying. I agree with what he is saying. And there is a part of me, that would like to live that argument. I think. But, there is also (I think) a part of me that wants to keep the social life I have. That doesn't want to ask this simple question. Having the social circles I have today, engaging in social communities, just keep rolling along. Then again, I am a fairly certain, that a BIG, part of me, wants to find people with virtue to hang out with. I think those are rare. And, having people in my life that are lacking virtue, will most certainly keep me from meeting people with virtue. Let alone finding myself a virtuous woman to spend my life with. THEN AGAIN... It's scary to make the decision. To get people that endorse violence against you, out of your life. Darn it. I guess I don't have much of a question to ask. It's just a choice I have to make. Have any of you chosen the philosophical path, i.e. ''I minimize the amount of people in my life that are against me''? If yes, what's it like? If not, why not? Is there a third alternative?

I have this friend, lets call him Mr.J, who is in what i believe to be an unhealthy relationship with a girl, lets call her Ms.A, which i found to be weird and now i believe its going into a dangerous direction, note that i am not close enough to him to know the specifics of their intimate relation, but i will try to describe it in the most objective way with the information i possess. They met through facebook. They had common friends and Ms.A entered his profile, took interest into him, they meet and began dating. Ms.A and Mr.J don't have much in common, as far as i can tell. As hobbies go, Mr.J love movies and video games and often do these activities without Ms.A. Their morals are completely opposite, Mr.J, while does not have a definite ideology, its clearly against state and religion. Ms.A in other hand works in a multi-layer marketing business, which is know for making its members obsessed with sales of the product, is increasingly more religious, again, thanks to the work, she is has an "alienate left activism" political standing, is a die hard feminist. She also has an obsessive side, she floods her time line in vace book with photos of the couple, she has trouble accepting that Mr.J starts his business with some friends because one of them is know to be an womanizer and when mentioned that they would need a secretary (In my country almost all secretaries are women) she became upset saying that she became their secretary instead. I didn't meet her more than twice, i don't know her deeply, but most of what was said came from Mr.J himself showing concern with their relationship. I don't know what drives them to stay together, besides their different personalities, they also live in opposite borders of the city and to meet it would take at least 2 hours by car. He brought the topic saying that she was starting to talk about marriage, and he said he is against to, but shortly after they changed their status to engaged. Well, i hope i could make a clear case. I want my friend to be happy, but i think that where this relationship is going, he will have lots of problems. I wanted to ask your opinion about how should i discuss this topic with him. How can i help him determinate if this is a healthy relationship? If not, is there a way to save it? If not, how to convince him to end the relationship.

Hello, first i want to apologize for my spelling mestakes. Im from Croatia, so please excuse my "french" I have a question regarding relationships. I did read, and listen to Stephan, and I agree about his point of view. Men look for sexy partner, women look for financial situated partner. Instead of finding partner that has virtues to offer, instead of big breast and so on. I am 36y old (not married), and I did approach women in my life , which i find sexually atractive. So my question would be..- Who should i approac ? When in a bar, or in place where ppl meets. If i dont approac woman that i like (from out side), who else ? Should i approuch "less" pretty woman, in hope that she is a better person in side ? And what if I meet that woman. Who has planty of virtues ( trustworthy, onest..), and has ol what it takes for a home run, but i find her sexually unatractive ? I finde sex a big part od relationships, so i dont think i could be in a relationship/merriage with "the most virtous, best women in a world", if I dont find her sexually attractive. Can you offer some advice ? Thank you, RomanCRO

Forgive me if I am not doing this correctly, but I wanted to get some thoughts about my recent relationship with a Christian MD (resident) that I worked with in the pediatric ICU in one of the hospitals in my city in West Texas. I know how Stef would feel about my pitiful attempt at connecting with a person whom I know the relationship wouldn't work with, but I tried anyway. We immediately had a shared physical attraction (which I find is very important) but after talking with her for a while I could immediately tell that she was a similarly-minded person (at least in caring, compassion, understanding, listening). She is very intelligent (hence the MD) and we had plenty to talk about because we are both clinicians. We hit it off immediately. We talked about very basic things initially but I soon came to discover that she came from a very religious background (both parents are overseas missionaries). I of course, against my better judgement, decided to see where it would go, so I kept on talking. She asked what church I go to... to which I replied "I don't go to church". She replied "oh well that's okay, a lot of people prefer to not associate with a specific group. The reason I ask is that I was wondering if you'd like to go to a bible study with me some time." At this point I had to let the cat out of the bag. I looked her in the eyes: "I am an atheist", and watched the life drain from her face. She was deeply disturbed by this, and barraged me with language that made me feel her deep pity for me, but seemed to accomplish it by being non-abrasive. She is a very stubborn yet kind person, so we were able to just avoid conversations regarding this topic from then (3 weeks ago) until tonight. Tonight I went over to her place for dinner, since her schedule didn't allow us to meet much this month. We ate dinner and everything seemed fine. We watched an episode of MadMen and had some good laughs. At the end of the episode she said she had some reading to do for school. I had my tablet with me so I obliged, and two hours later she returned with the "We need to talk", and so we ended up having our final god chat and breaking up. After watching Stef's latest discussion with Peter Boghossian, I decided to approach the discussion in this manner: I reach objective conclusions based on objective analysis. Religion reaches objective conclusions based on subjective analysis. I also brought up that she doesn't live in my world, but that I do live in her world. I think I somewhat struck a chord with these statements, but the stubbornness was there to blockade her thought, and she had already made up her mind. She absolutely doesn't seem like she was ever physically abused, however I do think that she was psychologically tormented by the ever present fear of hell fire for eternity. I always try to be open to criticisms of inconsistencies and faulty logic, and make concerted efforts to live my life in a way that lets my actions speak louder than words. In the case of this woman, she watched as I saved the lives of 3 children in our pediatric ICU, yet it amazes me that my actions have NOT spoken louder than words, and that although I have gone out of my way to help her in her daily life, explained to her that I value truth above all things, I am still seen as going to hell... and the most upsetting part is that this is all coming from a physician. The person I thought would be able to reason more than any others that I had previously spoken with here in West Texas. Any ideas? Here's some very basic information about me: 1) I recently moved to Texas from Kansas, so have lived in the bible belt my whole life, but have moved to probably one of the most religious places in the entire United States. 2) I am a type 1 diabetic (pancreas no longer produces insulin) 3) I am a pediatric respiratory therapist 4) For about 6 years now I have had no contact with a woman on a physical level until this brief relationship 5) I work 12 hour night shifts 6) I am a very outgoing philanthropist, helping people on my days on and on my days off. 7) I am 29 years old (my dick hasn't been destroyed by the diabetes yet) I am a year-long follower of the show and have used it immensely to get across my view regarding religion. I feel like I tried my best to make it work, but my fear is that West Texas is absolutely the worst possible place I could be, and that I have more or less shut myself away from any kind of meaningful relationship that has a mutual understanding of what can and cannot be considered logical or reasonable. I know this whole thing seems very jumbled up, but I was just wondering if anyone thinks that I could have approached the relationship or conversations differently. Should I move elsewhere? (Some places are less insane/less religious/less statist than others) Thank you so much for bearing with my communication skills, I know that they could use some work. I'm desperately trying to avoid depression, but it feels like I'm inevitably headed in that direction

I am in a 12 year relationship with two small children. My girlfriend is very upset with me. Full of resentment. She is upset about the division of labor, my personality defects and a feeling of domination. She is feeling like she is done with our relationship, I feel very differently and am still I madly in love with her. I'm looking for advise on how to repair our relationship. If any one has any advise or experience saving a marriage please let me know. Thank you for reading this and taking time to reply.