Search the Community

Question #1: Does it matter when someone has sex for the first time? I'm really unsure about the answer for a few reasons: 1. Apparently after someone has had about 3 sexual partners, their chances of getting divorced and just being a bad parent in general begin to increase. (According to stef in a video which I can't find) 2. If this first point is true, then does it matter if you have random sex or sex with a friend? Shouldn't someone have sex with someone they love? If you reach the 3rd person and you're no longer together, then you're screwing yourself over (statistically speaking). 3. Are virgins generally more motivated in life than non-virgins? If so, then that energy could be used for making great(er) things happen in one's life. If this is the case, then shouldn't someone stay a virgin for a long time? 4. Is it true that everyone remembers their first time? If so, then how do would one know whether or not their partner will go back to that person for sex later? How can you be truly dedicated to someone if you enjoy remembering sex you had with other people? Question #2: Does it matter how many people someone has had sex with? This is in regard to finding a suitable woman to possibly pro-create with in the future. Can someone really change their ways and become loyal & committed to one person for the rest of their life if they've spent most of their adulthood pursuing lots of f***buddies? I'll add some more questions later on once these 2 fundamentals have been sorted.

I've been thinking about this for a while, I'd like to hear your input. If a man doesn't want children (or the financial responsibility of one) he has two choices; 1. Abstain. And if that fails: 2. Pre-intercourse protection such as a condom. If the condom breaks, he is at the mercy of the woman he slept with. A woman, on the other hand, has five. She can: 1. Abstain. And if that fails: 2. Use pre-intercourse protection such as condoms, hormone spiral, or birth control pills. If any of these methods fails for whatever reason: 3. Post-intercourse protection, like the morning after pill. If that also fails: 4. Abortion. And if she doesn't go through with one: 5. Put the baby up for adoption. As demonstrated, women have more "lifelines" in this scenario than men do. They have more than double the reproductive power and the possibilities of planned Parenthood. My argument is that the woman therefore holds most of the responsibility of any child's existence. If a two strangers, a man and a woman has sex together and the condom breaks (resulting in childbirth), it is mostly due to the decisions (or lack of decisions) of the woman that is the cause for the fact that the child does not have a father. She could've prevented if after the incident occurred but she didn't. The man couldn't so naturally he didn't. My argument is not that men are all free from responsibility, but that women by nature are more responsible (in most cases) for a child's birth. There are obviously exceptions to everything, such as if the woman was held captive and raped by a man. I'd like to hear your input. Are both parties really equal in the creation of a child?

How can we determine whether someone is mature enough to consent to sex or contracts in general?

I wanted to thank and congratulate Stefan Molyneaux for his dogged investigation of the career killing topic: Race, Sex and IQ. I think he has finally proposed a hypothesis that is worth researching and is provable and scientific. The hypothesis I see as valid is: (1) There are differences in mean IQ by race and gender. (2) owing to the shape of the normal distribution, the proportion of people occupying a given interval of IQ scores will vary with distance from mean. (example: the interval of IQ 100-115 contains 34% of people but the interval of 130-145 contains 2% of people) (3) TO BE PROVEN: When dealing with the middle 68% of individuals (+/- 1 std, the people you most often interact with) there is less confidence that racial/sex differences in IQ will be observed owing to variations in and between groups. (This can be shown with a power calculation) (4) MOLYNEAUX'S INSIGHT: For an equal size IQ interval on the tails of a normal distribution, the confidence about IQ increases nonlinearly. SO given some prior knowledge, (e.g. that a person has an IQ>115, i.e. a so called 'elite') once can be more confident of observing bias in race/sex proportions. At the very least statistical tests can be done to prove that one needs a larger sample of people from IQ[85,115] interval to be confident of a race/sex difference than one would need from an IQ[130,160] interval. It needs some clean up but it seems like a good paper if it hasnt already been published. If the work has been done I would be interested in a citation.

https://www.youtube.com/c/sachaslone

Hello, folks! There may be no objective and quantifiable way to answer the question I'd like to pose to you, but I'd sincerely appreciate any thoughts and insight you can offer on the subject! I am interested in securing for myself a heterosexual monogamous relationship with an intelligent and virtuous woman. The question I'm wrestling with is: Should I work hard to find a virtuous woman to enjoy life with now at age 20, or later after I've accumulated more resources? Related subjects of interest for this discussion include: Sexual market value, how to meet new women, online dating, and life planning This is a very important question to me. I feel like I'm finally healthy enough as a man to attract and be worthy of the kind of woman I dream of. I've been to nine months of IFS therapy with an amazing therapist, have had almost a thousand hours of emotionally-connected, challenging, empathetic and rewarding conversations with my closest friends who are all Freedomain Radio listeners, and have been working diligently for a long time to understand my childhood and adolescent traumas, process them, and heal from them. I am in a remarkably unique situation which would drastically favor my odds, and I think it's appropriate to relay the reasons in my mind why I think it would be a good idea for me to begin the search now for a partner. However, as I will discuss, I am feeling hesitant to begin due to a lack of dating knowledge and experience. This has me wondering whether or not I should wait until I accumulate more resources first. I have attempted to remain impartial in the following self-assessment of my strengths. These are the reasons why I believe it is high-time for me to put myself out there. Financially, I have tens of thousands of dollars in assets saved. Beyond any doubt in my mind, I will be making enough money to fully support myself with my business plans by time I turn 21 this July. Presently, I am operating my budget at a significant loss so that I may live on my own and run my own online business promoting precious metals and preserving freedom. I have enough money to comfortably live an entire year, ALL expenses included, with no income whatsoever; however I have formulated articulate and actionable plans to generate more profit than life expenses by the end of June. This means that (if all goes according to plan) I will be 100% financially secure and independent by the age of 21 and living a richly rewarding existence doing that which I'm genuinely passionate about. Molyneux has often said that in order to attract great people into your life, one must shine the beacon of virtue bright into the sky so that all those who are in tune with the signal and able to recognize virtue on sight may find their way to the signal's origin. Basically, my hope is that by doing the work that I do and successfully making a living out of it, I will be not only living the life of my dreams, but more attractive to the woman of my dreams. Emotionally, I am in the greatest health of my life. I have worked arduously to emerge from a depressive slump, marijuana addiction, and irrational paranoia through many months of intensive work in therapy. My level of self-confidence has increased greatly since the massive blow it took from my previous dysfunctional relationship prior to exploring self-knowledge. Through practice in hundreds of hours of difficult conversations in building virtue-based friendships, I am able to empathize now like never before! My parents and I are in the process of having many difficult conversations about my upbringing - venomous verbal abuse, manipulation, and blarping were unfortunately all central to my childhood. However, I feel hope with regards to my relationship to my parents as their willingness to accept responsibility and apologize for their wrong doings is a good sign in my eye. I believe that the work I am doing will prove to be instrumental in attracting a woman of virtue. However, I have a very long road ahead of me until I have fully resolved every conceivable issue. Yet, I feel healthy enough to begin the search! I do not know if it is necessary to process 100% of one's childhood prior to looking for a partner. Hell, some people process 0% of theirs. What are your thoughts on this??? Mentally, I'm very intelligent and articulate. My verbal IQ clocks in at around 140 and I would consider myself to be a gifted communicator, both written and verbally. This will arguably serve me well in any undertaking I choose for the rest of my life. With regards to dating, I know that for myself, intelligence is a key trait I'm looking for in a lover. I'd like to marry a woman with an IQ of 120 or more (top ~10%). I am charismatic and feel that I am confident enough to engage in meaningful conversations even with woman of great beauty, which long ago would have made me too nervous. I think it's fair to say that my ideal partner would find intelligence and charisma attractive, and fair to say that I'd be able to satisfy at least those criteria. Physically, I consider myself to be quite lucky. By genetic accident, I am quite handsome. Others in my life have consistently rated me as a 9/10 on the scale of physical attractiveness, and I work out 2-3 times per week to build upon my athletic body. Let me be clear, I do not consider this to even remotely resemble a virtue, nor is matching physical attractiveness a "must" for me to feel satisfied in a virtue-based relationship. However, I know for a fact that this happens to increase my sexual market value, and my physique will only continue to improve as I continue living a healthy and active lifestyle. Personality-wise, I'm quite enjoyable to spend time with. I've got a strong sense of humor, am able to craft witty jokes, and have a great capacity for both intellectual and emotionally connected conversation. I'm a very compassionate and gentle person with a capacity for toughness and strength when the need arises. Sadly, I haven't spent much of any time with women my age over the past two years. I find that I have remarkably little in common with the "average" 18-21 year old, as I am more emotionally-matured than the vast majority of people in my age group. tl;dr? It may be a wise decision for me to begin the hunt for a fair and virtuous maiden now because I (think I) will have high dating market value, and I hold many virtues that a virtuous woman would find attractive. However, it is perhaps of even greater importance to now mention my shortcomings and why I feel hesitant to fully commit to putting myself out there on the dating market yet. These are the reasons why I think it could be better to wait until I've accumulated more resources. I lack dating experience! I've only been in one committed monogamous relationship which lasted for a year and four months. The relationship was overall very dysfunctional; we didn't share the same values, didn't share the same interests, didn't share the same level of intelligence, didn't get along 1/4th of the time, and my ex was a highly manipulative girl whom I allowed to pussy-whip me into being a little beta. Needless to say, while I now have many months and hundreds of hours of experience in having quality friendships, I don't have anything to model a quality romantic relationship off of. I lack sexual experience! In my previous relationship, despite having lost my virginity and having had sex dozens of times, I do not feel presently that I am "sexually experienced". My ex never really seemed to enjoy many of our sexual interactions, and often used sex to manipulate me into submission. This originally made me actually feel quite horrible about myself, which is just so terribly saddening to me now. I wanted so very much to explore, to try new things, and to learn how to better please a woman and for good reason! Sexual intimacy is a beautiful, wonderful part of any romantic relationship; I'd strive to please my partner like no other once the relationship got that far. Unfortunately at the time, I felt sexually rejected repeatedly which proved harmful to my self-esteem. Frankly, in retrospect I don't believe the problem was entirely me. I'm reasonably well-endowed and my partner had sexual trauma which hadn't been processed. Nonetheless, this lacking of experience may not work in my favor. I hardly know where the fuck to begin. How the hell do you guys meet women? Married gentlemen, how did you meet your wife?! I can't go to bars or clubs (not that I'd even really expect to find interesting people there [perhaps I am wrong?!]), and although I've made MANY new male friends from FDR, I've only met intelligent, captivating women who are either much older than I or live in different continents. I've created an okcupid account, and have found a few potential leads of intelligent women who are interested in philosophy living within 100 miles of me. That is, at least, a start. I'd be really curious to hear your thoughts and insight on this!!! I'm not financially secure yet. My online business will generate the revenue I need to survive from affiliate marketing of products and services which I have used and trust, in addition to selling digital information products (eBooks, online courses) and precious metals (silver, gold). Would a good woman recognize the value in the content that I am producing, the good will that I exude in my work, and look past my (temporary) financial situation in interest of my other virtues? Would she not care that I'm running at a loss while I grow a following and build my business from the ground up? Or would she scoff at the notion of what I'm doing with my life and disregard my ambition to follow my passions until their fruits could be harvested? I really hope the latter is not entirely the case. I dropped out of college pursuing a degree in Computer Engineering to become an entrepreneur instead. Some women, I would imagine, greatly prefer a man who has high income potential, and a college degree is a good indicator of that status. I'll not have one unless something drastic changes, so that may work against me too. It would seem that if I am already wealthy, as I plan to be, that I can bypass this "blemish" on my potential dating market value. Ultimately, this is a massive decision that I think I need help and perspective on. I don't know if there are things that I am overlooking, underestimating, over-exaggerating, or conflating in my analysis of the situation I'm in. Fortunately, from my perspective, I appear to be in a great starting place compared to where I imagine most 20 year old men are at. I would sincerely appreciate your thoughts, bright minds of the Freedomain Radio community. Thanks for both your time and consideration in reading this. I would be more than happy to take the time to answer any questions or provide clarifications. I greatly look forward to engaging with you in substantive discussion on this subject which I believe is likely highly relevant to many of us young men!

I am not a parent yet, and I'm not sure that this technically falls under "Peaceful Parenting" but it certainly has to do with parenting and I've been giving this a lot of thought lately for some reason. What is the best way to teach a kid about sex or to explain where babies come from? I think there are some general principles and objectives that we can agree to from the start: You shouldn't lie about it no matter what their age (e.g. no talk of storks) However, you shouldn't get into details that aren't age appropriate either (e.g. showing college level anatomy books to 5-year-olds) You should aim to impress upon the kid that this is serious business and not to be taken lightly. Sex can ruin lives and emotionally destroy yourself or others when abused. At the same time they shouldn't be left with that puritanical guilt thing (like I was to some extent). By the time the kid is in their late teens they should understand the basics of sexual market value theory. Both male and female teens should be taught about what quality men and quality women ACTUALLY want in a partner. They should be made aware of the different types of sexual predation that can be practiced by both men an women. Most importantly, your child should feel comfortable coming to you with any questions or issues that come up. Does anybody have any disagreements, amendments, or critiques of this so far? I'm still working on these ideas so I'd appreciate your feedback.

I finally began reading the book Date-onomics, which was promoted in a previous podcast here. https://board.freedomainradio.com/topic/45393-youtube-how-dating-became-a-lopsided-numbers-game/ I'm only about 1/3 through at this point, and there is a lot of interesting data here. I'm still mulling it over but the data is the data and it is a useful thing to know. One of the things that caught my attention was part of the analysis of how imbalances in the male/female ratio impacts sexual practices in humans. Not surprisingly when there are more men than women, there is less casual sex, more long term relationships etc... Conversely, when there are more women than men, relationships are less stable and even in relationships, sexual frequency increases. None of that is terribly surprising but there was something that struck me as off and I wish they had gone more into it more. They found that when men have the numbers advantage in the dating market, not only was there more sex - and more risque sex at that - but the length of sex and foreplay also increased. From the text: Clinical sex studies observed "a real increase in and diversification of erotic activity" as twentieth-century gender ratios began to skew female, they wrote. "Coital frequency and length of intercourse have both increased substantially, as has length of foreplay." The reason why that got my attention is because it seems that for all of my life I've been told by the media, society, books, women, etc... that men don't focus enough on foreplay, don't wait for women to enjoy themselves, and that we men just want to dive into things blow our load as quickly as possible. I haven't found that to be the case in my own life - I think I spend a long time on foreplay and very much enjoy it - but I just thought I was atypical among men and that these complaints represented genuine female experiences and desires. However, if it really were the case that men were the ones you just wanted to rush past foreplay, wouldn't we expect to see the length of foreplay and intercourse decrease? And wouldn't we expect the length of foreplay and sex to increase as the frequency decreased as the dating market skewed so that there were more men than women? Given this data, I'm starting to wonder how atypical I really am in this sphere. I certainly wouldn't put it past the culture to have been telling me the opposite of the truth on this subject but I'm certainly open to other explanations. Any thoughts?

This article is a powerful indictment of non-monogamy and its role in the creation of ISIS from the perspective of genetic selection (which the author mislabels "evolutionary theory"). Warning: There is a lot of discussion of extreme violence, especially rape. http://quillette.com/2016/01/07/original-sin-the-sexual-motivation-of-religious-extremists/

this is an excerpt from my blog i've been sitting on for a while preface: i will be using the terms “man” and “woman” in a general sense, though i understand that there are some exceptions, just like a horse by definition has 4 legs, but sometimes they are born with 3, however that doesn’t make that animal not-a-horse. so please, contain your exceptions until the end. theory: the use of the word “objectification” (labeling) is a woman’s way of saying she feels uncomfortable in the face of the fact that a man is sexually attracted to her, or another woman. but instead of being honest about her own discomfort, she uses the term “objectification” to turn the blame on the man. just like how a priest uses the term “sin” to turn the blame on other people when his prophecies and predictions don’t come true. the words “sin” and “objectification” are nearly identical in practice because neither are rationally defined by an external method, and instead are used to absorb anything that the user feels uncomfortable in response to, and then masquerades this as a universally applicable concept, not a personal preference. there is, of course, nothing wrong with being uncomfortable. i encourage everyone to speak up about things that make them uncomfortable, with the understanding that your discomfort does not generate an obligation in other people to cater to it. what is wrong, however, is lying. claims of objectification are dishonest, because objectification is not defined by any objective standard, just like pejoratives. since there are no objective standards for detecting objectification, any claims of objectification are dishonest because no proof is possible until there are objective and testable hypothesis for determining the presence of objectification. for a better explanation of why it is a lie, see my article about the dishonesty of pejoratives. so if claims of objectification are dishonest, what is the incentive for their use? here is a utilitarian cost-benefit analysis: benefits: 1. causes man to feel moral dilemma over being attracted to a woman, thus pausing his pursuit. if he is a good man, he will take a while to process this moral dilemma, or he may disregard the claim, because he does not know what is meant by objectification. 2. woman eliminates what she believes to be the source of her discomfort in the short term. 3. woman discovers a short-term degree of power to mitigate the amount of attention she receives. costs: 1. a good man will continue to be confused about whether or not his own attraction is objectification or not, possibly causing long-term harm to other romantic investments. 2. man associates the confusion with the woman, instead of the foggy concept of objectification. 3. the woman drives away good men who can detect this strategy. after this strategy is foiled, she must either invest in a new social group or a new strategy for mitigating male attention. what are your thoughs? do you have anything to add or correct?

I posted on Self-Archeology's blog an excerpt on the origins and effects of Freud's Oedipus Complex Theory: http://blog.selfarcheology.com/2015/12/on-freuds-theory-of-oedipus-complex.html

Just a horrifying read. I know I can't control this kind of stuff . . . . . the best I can do is to be my best self and be worthy of an outstanding partner. But the odds are really good that any intelligent women who is around my age will have come through this kind of culture in college. And, honestly, it depresses me. http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating

Recently there seems to be more and more articles on advanced sex dolls, a vast majority of which are 'females' made for men. The artistry behind these sex dolls is amazing and very life-like. These are not your typical blow-up sex dolls, rather these are life-like silicon dolls. Some are equipped with internal heaters and some more advanced model use rudimentary AI to interact with its owner. I believe that the emasculation of men in the western world by politically-correct feminism has contributed to this new industry. My opinion on this: western women you reap what you sow! Many men in the western world are looking to Asia to find their brides because Asian women know how to treat their men. A minority have resorted to these advanced sex dolls. realdoll.com http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/12/technology/robotica-sex-robot-realdoll.html?WT.mc_id=2015-JUNE-FB-ROBOTICA_ADRISK-0604-0630%0A&WT.mc_ev=click&_r=0

Hi All, When urging men to choose virtuous women, Stef always references scientific studies showing how men "turn stupid" when merely thinking of sex. That makes a ton sense intuitively and anecdotally, but a quick search on various search engines reveals very little actual scientific literature to read or share with interested others. Does anyone (Stef or Mike in particular) have links to these studies? I'd love to be able to learn more about this. Thanks, - Mike

Let's play the Where's Waldo: Fallacy Edition! Article Link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/loves-evolver/201103/sexual-monogamy-does-not-lead-happiness

An ex adult film star, a 12 year old girl and a 22 year old who yearns for "normal" private parts are chronicled in this thought provoking doc about how porn, social media and pop culture affect women and girls. [imdb link] Highly recommend this doc if only to see how the highly intelligent 12 old girl gets sucked in to the peer-oriented culture of slutiness, social media, sex etc as she starts going through puberty.

I made a new video. This time it's about sexual objectification and the absurdity of feminist depictions of male sexuality. There are some decent jokes, a photo of me as a young boy and a sneak peak at Fifty Shades of Grey, the movie. I had a lot of fun writing and shooting this one, and I think you'll like it too.

http://ftrhuman.blogspot.com/2014/11/feminism-part-1-gender-pay-gap.html Thoughts on this would be appreciated.

I've found an article (it's in russian - http://vishka.livejournal.com/217836.html) It's about sexual intercourse or relationship with a child.Author says that often it's not the sex itself that makes phychological trauma for child, but societal pressure on the case. She starts article from this story and provides links for 2 books on the subject: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/106971352/TheTraumaMyth.pdf - The Trauma Myth. The Truth About the Sexual Abuse of Children and It's Aftermath https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/106971352/HarmfulToMinors.pdf - Harmful To Minors. The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex. I thought it worth sharing.

The second interview with Daniel Mackler. Here, we talk about the topic of relationships: one's template for relationships, friendship, romantic relationship, sex, boundaries, parent-child relationship, and much more!

Hi everyone! I started my own website last week and have the goal of increasing traffic and expanding my audience. It's a personal blog about sexual development, paraphilias, fetishes, child development, and self-knowledge. I update it every weekday with new or continuing articles or personal accounts. It was something that I'd discussed with my therapist, and she thought it was a wonderful idea. She felt - and I agree - that I could be a helpful voice for others who have had sexual trauma inflicted upon them and/or have developed a paraphilia or sexual fetish. It really is something I feel I need to offer the world and I want to be successful in doing so. I have to start somewhere and I figured that here is a better place than any to begin. Sometime down the road, I am hoping to start an anonymous "Share Your Story" section of the website. Does that sound valuable? Please, take a look. It's quite nascent and isn't very pretty yet. Not to mention, I'm still working on my writing skills, and I still have much more work to do in regards to self-knowledge. But I hope some of you find it worthwhile, valuable, or useful. Here is the link: http://www.onemoredeviant.com/ Thank you all for taking a gander at this post and hopefully my website! -Greg

I'm what some people call a "PT", which stands for "perpetual traveler" or "perpetual tourist" or what have you. I'm also seemingly addicted to writing, and I now have two novels out, the most recent of which is a dystopian/utopian tale of the collapse of the United States and what happened thereafter. The title is The Dropouts. The subtitle is America Died and Nobody Cared. Elements of the main plot were heavily inspired by Stefan Molyneux's works here on this site. You can read it on your computer for free on Authonomy at http://bit.ly/1580ByF or, if you want to carry it around in your Kindle you can find it at http://amzn.to/14LsYaxf. I'm told it will soon be available in paperback, but it isn't today. Maybe by the time you read this it will. If the old style physical book is what you enjoy, try Amazon and search the title. Reader reactions are of course always good to see. If you go to Authonomy you'll see a place for you to rate it and leave comments right there. I hope to get to know you better as time goes on. Paul