Letting the days go by...into the blue again.

[Jim Flood]

So, how did I get here?

I've
travelled down the road to An-Cap liberty from the most straightforward
place... I was a Neo-conservative.

I have been very supportive of
our military interventions around the world, and a defender of GWB. I have had
many moments in my life that I regret. I wish that I discovered Murray Rothbard
and the Mises Instute in my youth, because it wasn't until I discovered that
site that I realized how wrong I was. There were times when I investigated the
Libertarian movement, and liked some of the things I saw, but not enough to
really support any particular candidate. I did vote for Gary Johnson this year,
but only to say "no" to the others in the race. Plus my vote has
never counted, being a Republican in NY.

I
do not like Ron Paul, and have never supported him, although he was the only
Republican I thought of voting for, this cycle. (The support was of the
"hold my nose and vote" variety). There is something extremely creepy
about the cult of Ron. I was an active reader of the right of center (at the
time) Little Green Footballs blog
site, and remember when the racist newsletters first dropped in the 2008 cycle,
Charles Johnson posted a thread from one of the pro-Paul forums that just nailed
the whole creep factor. One of the forum's top members (as I remember) went
through all the stages of grief, but not in the usual order: The post started
with resignation and concluded firmly in the grips of denial. It was epic, and
I still see the signs of this in the "True Believers."

I
think the books I’ve been most influenced by have been Our Enemy, The State by
Albert Jay Nock, The Law by
Frederick Bastiat, No Treason by
Lysander Spooner, and, oddly, War:
Ends and Means by Paul Seabury and Angelo Codevilla, a professor and
writer affiliated with the Claremont Institute, hardly an institution known for
pro-Libertarian sentiments. Most of these are found through the Mises Institute,
and are pretty famous within the freedom circles. The last book, however, was
the first I read that conveyed, to me, the truly foolish nature of the
"wars" the US had been fighting for decades. I fashioned myself a
supporter of the “surge” of troops in Iraq, but that book took the leadership
of the US military and government to task for the ideas conveyed in Petraeus’ Counterinsurgency
policy that the surge implemented. This book shook my beliefs to the core
because it framed the criticism within a framework I could understand. I still
clung to my support of the war, though with serious reservations. (The
patriotism thing still worked on me then.)

I
had beome interested in economics at the fateful point when the too big to fail
bailouts destroyed any support I had left for the Bush administration. I had discovered
the Cato Institute's podcasts the previous year and more often than not agreed
with them, though I still disliked the pro-peace side of the organization. It
was through them that The Road
to Serfdom entered my library, and I also discovered Ludwig von Mises.  With that, my fate was sealed. I listened to,
and read, anything I could get my hands on, and thanks to Lew Rockwell, they
were all free. (Really the only thing I like about Lew Rockwell.)

My childhood filled me with a
great sense of worthlessness. As a kid, I was ADHD, but never diagnosed. I am
intelligent, but my brother and younger sister were both labeled
"gifted" (back when they did that sort of thing in public school,) while I was not. That really stung. I struggled to get out of my brother's
shadow, but not in positive ways. When I was tired of getting hand-me-downs I
decided to become larger than him. It worked, but I've struggled with weight ever
since. I had interests, but did not really feel comfortable expressing them. I felt a need to subsume my personality to the needs of the family, and this is a trap that my paternal grandfather used on my dad. The pattern repeated. So, here I am. I have yet to go to a therapist, but I think Stef, and my wife,
have me convinced to see one. I am trying not to be as passive aggressive as I’ve
been, and am looking for ways to become a better father and generally happier.

[Guest NateC]

Welcome to the island of misfit toys.  I mean, welcome to the community of traumatized children who've learned to shoot fireballs from our eyes.  Well, I'm working on it.