I'm a man! I'm 40!

[SuperAdventurer]

Google that phrase for a hilarious rant. So anyway I'm a man, I'm 40, and my life is about as much of a blank as it could possibly be at this stage. In terms of personal development I'm at least 20 years behind schedule. I've never been married, never been in a serious relationship, and I've never had any type of a job that I'd call a career. If you're familiar with the movie Greenberg, Ben Stiller's title character reminds me way too much of myself for comfort. As I write this I'm realizing just how depressing this sounds, and here's one more thing, I'm currently unemployed and living with my father. I have plenty of money (from my father) so from a financial perspective I don't need to have a job, and he's elderly so I'm helping him out while I'm living here, but still my situation obviously isn't what it should be. In fact there's no way around it, it's pretty bleak.

But I still don't feel like it's hopeless, and lately I've been taking small steps in what I believe to be the right directions. This started back in February when I looked in the mirror and noticed my gut was about as fat as it had ever been, and I decided to start exercising and cut out the junk food (along with adopting a quasi-paleo / primal diet, so carbs had to go as well). I made the changes and gradually started noticing results, which by now are undeniable. I still have a bit of a gut but it's shrinking (the tape measure tells me so), and right now I'm in the best health I've been in for at least the past 5 years.

Once I made the decision to stop neglecting my physical self, my general sense of despair and listlessness started to lift just enough for me to begin addressing other things I'd been neglecting. The main one being my tax situation. For no good reason I had allowed myself to fall behind on filing my taxes (investment income), and this is something that has been hanging over me for the past two years as my tax returns went unfiled. The entire time I had been trying to ignore the situation, but of course it can't really be ignored, and it would end up subtly (sometimes not so subtly) coloring my experience of everything else. So finally I got together what (I think) are the relevant tax documents and took them to an accounting firm. This was just before the April 15 tax deadline, so the accountants were swamped, but the extension for this year was filed and the tax returns should be ready for me to submit in a week or two. Getting this resolved and off my mind is going to be huge for me, pretty much regardless of however much I end up having to pay.

So where do I go from here? First of all, I need to move out of my dad's house. As I mentioned he's elderly, and he would prefer that I stay, but it's impossible for me to imagine my life moving forward in any meaningful way as long as I'm still living here. It's a small town and there's nothing for me to do here, in fact I avoid going into town because I grew up here and I don't want to be recognized, because I don't want to answer questions about what I'm doing these days (ie nothing). I won't be leaving him completely alone when I move out, because my older sister who also never married lives in the house too. I don't think it's a psychologically healthy situation for her either, but in any case I've talked with her about it and she has no plans to leave (and she will be inheriting the house after he dies).

Wow, that's quite a cautionary tale. For those of you in your 20s and in "failure to launch" mode... Hurry up and do something about it! You don't have forever to get a life. I still maintain that my spark hasn't quite been extinguished yet but I might be delusional. Here's a quote I read from an interview with Steve Jobs.

"There's an old Hindu saying that comes into my mind occasionally: 'For the first 30 years of your life, you make your habits. For the last 30 years of your life, your habits make you.' As I'm going to be 30 in February, the thought has crossed my mind."

Depending on where you're at in life, that message could run the gamut from encouraging (Steve Jobs at 30) to absolutely terrifying (me right now). Not that an old Hindu saying should be counted as an unalterable fate, but I do believe the force it characterizes is real.

[Magnus]

What do you love to do?  What fulfills you?

Does it have something to do with your handle, Super Adventurer?

[SuperAdventurer]

 

What do you love to do?  What fulfills you?

Does it have something to do with your handle, Super Adventurer?

 

My handle comes from a South Park episode in which Chef joins a cult called the Super Adventure Club. It's not a very nice cult and I can assure you, the activities of which its members partake have absolutely nothing to do with any type of fulfillment I might be seeking! SuperAdventurer is also my xbox live gamertag although I haven't been online in quite a while.

"What do you love to do?" The things I love to do generally involve being intellectually challenged on some level, but without being overwhelmed. So for example a few years ago I decided to make a serious effort to learn Spanish. I had taken some college classes in Spanish previously but my knowledge of the language had always been pretty rudimentary and anyway, by then I had forgotten much of what I had learned. I had no immediate need to learn Spanish, it just seemed like a fun thing to do. Then once I had gone as far as I could go with the Fluenz Spanish computer software, supplemented with podcasts like Notes in Spanish and Coffee Break Spanish, I decided to take a trip to Costa Rica. I plan to do more traveling in Latin America in the future as well, but the point here is that the language learning itself was my primary motivation, and the idea to take the trip only came later.

Poker is another interest of mine, which led to me developing an interest in game theory. I have a background in computer science (along with a degree, even though I'm not making use of it in the job market and probably never will). This allowed me to study certain simplified poker scenarios on a computational level. I'm not sure how much of a difference any of the game theory stuff made to my actual poker playing strategy, but I think it was helpful, and in any event I was consistently profitable as an online poker player (for relatively low stakes though), back when it was possible for US residents to play on the major poker sites. I have plans to travel to Las Vegas this year to play in a few of the lower buy-in World Series of Poker events, and I'm considering moving there.

Another interest is stand-up comedy, and this is something I definitely plan to pursue even though I have no way of knowing where it will lead. Years ago I did some open mics, with mixed results, but I never really put in a serious effort. There were a few times I went up with new material I had just written, and I hadn't taken the time to rehearse it, so of course that was a disaster. But I also did ok a few times (not great, just ok), and looking back I feel like I should have at least put in some effort and given myself a chance to succeed.

For an overview of both my strengths and weaknesses, the description of the INTP personality type fits me to a tee: http://www.personalitypage.com/INTP.html

[WiresNPipes]

Greetings Super Adventurer,

I saw the episode and likewise don't relish the club's purpose, but it's funny.

You went opposite directions from mine, but don't be too hard on yourself.  I worked construction like a dog and made babies for a score of years before I thunk.  We took on the usual american debt and enjoyed trips and toys and a big house.  Now I have a house that doesn't fit that's too far from my work and too far out of town to get a decent price for.  So racked with debt and struggling to love my children around her taking them to any and all church functions she has gas money for, I have but regrets for all my years hiding in work.

You're my age . I just lost my dad to cancer after deFOOing.  There's a lot unsaid between us that I now am ready to face.  I'd guess you don't have that regret?

Well, enjoy the show.  It's the best in the world.