King David Posted August 4, 2013 Share Posted August 4, 2013 I've had a history of being tormented by bullies but now I see it in just about everybody. Random people starring me down infuriates me, corporate culture is intolerable, my family can't stand me when I speak my mind and politics that ruins peoples lives, my relationships with women confound me. It seems that there is no respite and I live in 1984 where I'm the crazy one. There are only a handful of people that I could ever relate to and get intelligent feedback from, I probably would be crazy if it weren't for them. Discovering libertarianism has only made it worse. Showing people patience invariably leads them to attempting to walk over me and if ever I react, people react wildly as I should simply accept their bs. There are so many things wrong with the world and my input towards it is negligible or flat out ignored because it's too radical. Even my presence draws unwanted attention. I need a way to channel my energy in a productive avenue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pepin Posted August 4, 2013 Share Posted August 4, 2013 This sounds quite awful to experience. Can you give some information about your childhood? Particularly about you family? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonnyD Posted August 4, 2013 Share Posted August 4, 2013 I've had a history of being tormented by bullies but now I see it in just about everybody. Random people starring me down infuriates me, corporate culture is intolerable, my family can't stand me when I speak my mind and politics that ruins peoples lives, my relationships with women confound me. It seems that there is no respite and I live in 1984 where I'm the crazy one. There are only a handful of people that I could ever relate to and get intelligent feedback from, I probably would be crazy if it weren't for them. Discovering libertarianism has only made it worse. Showing people patience invariably leads them to attempting to walk over me and if ever I react, people react wildly as I should simply accept their bs. There are so many things wrong with the world and my input towards it is negligible or flat out ignored because it's too radical. Even my presence draws unwanted attention. I need a way to channel my energy in a productive avenue. That's because you are crazy, when you live in a culture that redefines dysfunctional behaviour as normal. So this is a good thing, embrace that and never stop evolving into who you are. I too have grown up being bullied, at home and at school, so I know how you feel and how I have dealt with it is by tuning into internal signals rather than external ones.The reason why I was put down by other people is because parts of me was putting myself down - people learn how to treat you by how you treat yourself. Fix your posture, Figure out what you what to do in life, who you want to be, set goals, lift weights, channel energy into something productive. Express your emotions like you're doing now, you own yourself and life is short.Very sorry to hear what you're going through, do you want to talk about it more? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherapple Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 The answer is to refuse to bully yourself. Channel the angry energy from a lifetime of being bullied into yourself. Not to get angry at yourself, but to invest in yourself and separate yourself from the bullies. Draw protective boundaries, becoming clear about what kind of person you are and what kind of person they are. Begin to separate their craziness from your sanity. Get away from crazy people whenever you can, or at least understand the level to which they will go in order to harm you. This is a process that takes time. Ask yourself questions: Does a belief that I am crazy benefit me, or does it benefit the bullies? Follow the benefit any time you feel an emotion or have a belief about yourself, and that will be the best signal about where the emotion or thought is coming from—you or them—and whether someone else wants to help you or harm you. You were born to learn to take care of yourself, and that is the greatest evil of what bullies steal from you. They cripple your ability for self-care. Don't let anyone tell you that you're crazy. Assume that you are sane and that your emotions are doing the best they can to help you within a crazy environment. One of the greatest signs of sanity is whether someone seeks self-awareness, or seeks to avoid it; and whether someone wants to help others gain awareness, or whether they act to cripple it. Over time, as you seek greater self-awareness and refuse to bully yourself, you'll repel bullies from you and attract more people who treat you well. It may seem at times like there are no such people to be found, but the more you work to become one of them, the more you will be surprised (at first) to find them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King David Posted August 9, 2013 Author Share Posted August 9, 2013 Thanks for the posts all, all very insightful. I have begun the process of realizing my identity but it is quite an uphill battle. Its actually pretty entertaining when people who have known you as a pee on are unable to recreate the same results and react wildly. Actually one night at a club where I held my ground with some agro bullying types, well later on that evening some random guy smashed me in the back of the head layed me down flat on my face. Obviously, that was not one of the entertainment I was speaking of but I am realizing some of the things that "establishing yourself" in a hierchy means, as well as the benefits of a belonging. One thing I realized is that growing up I never really knew why dominance is desired in a relationship, and therefore could never even imagine why violence should be utilized between people, kind of wonderfully ignorant. Unfortunately there were huge consequences to this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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