Hello from Whidbey Island

[FiddlertheLeper]

Hello everyone,

   My name is Brandon Howe, I am a 26 year old restaurant worker on beautiful Whidbey Island WA, in the Puget Sound.  I am a new listener to Stefan, having only discovered his show about 3 months ago, but I am avidly working my way through his absolutely wonderful selection of topics and conversations.  I have to say that Stefan is already on the list of the most amazing, thoughtful, honest, and insightful (this list of adjectives shortened for your sanity) people I have ever had the pleasure to meet in any format.  I have always held the basic belief that the way we structure our society today, and the requirements to be a "functioning"  part of that society, have at some fundamental level gone far wrong from the world we all were told about and hoped for as children.  For a long time I saw this disconnect with the facades required in day to day interactions as representative of a problem within myself (of which I have many), I figured this was a phase of discontent that I would naturally grow out of, except I never did.  While I learned the basics of how to function in a world that doesn't care about the individual beyond their financial contribution, I never did come to accept that this was how life was meant to be.  It is only recently with my discovery of Stefan, that for the first time the feelings I have held have begun to come into focus, I now understand that it is fundamentally both.  The society we live in, is fundamentally broken, but I am as well, and that change (true change) has to come from within, it cannot be forced upon others (or myself) by an external actor.  So now I hope to join with others of a like a mind in taking the first steps towards fixing this broken world, by fixing myself, and carrying that change forward into the next generation.  I know the road ahead is difficult, fraught with trials and obstacles to overcome, but I am committed to making the change, and healing myself (and hopefully helping others to heal as well).  I hope that together as both a community and as individuals we can laugh, cry, grow, discover, share, and support each other as we make our way down the road to a brighter tomorrow, that begins (as it does everyday) today.  I look forward to meeting you all, and hope today finds a smile on your face and a hope in your heart.  

 

[psquared]

Welcome!  From another Whidbey Island FDR listener!  I never thought I would hear of someone on this island who would be interested in such topics.

 

Your introduction is articulate and well written.  The journey of self-knowledge is not easy but I've never felt that there was a shortcut.  It can be pretty lonely since there does not seem to be that many people who are willing to "dig deep" as it were.  Good for you!

 

I'm curious as to why you say that you are broken?

[FiddlertheLeper]

Thank you Psquared,

  I have to admit I was not expecting in the slightest to run into someone from Whidbey Is. here, life is full of wonderful little surprises.  I agree completely when you say there is no shortcut's on the road to Self-Knowledge, and I think that's a great thing, I mean don't get me wrong there are definitely times when I feel stuck on a problem and I wish it was easier, but the truth is, if it was easier it's value would decline proportionately, and that's not a worth while trade in my mind.   As to why I believe myself to be broken, (thank you for asking that question by the way, it's easy for me to think of myself as broken, but far harder to articulate why I hold that believe) it comes down to a few things; I have always been at least partially self-aware to a greater degree than I believe most people are (thanks to my wonderfully dedicated dad) I can see in myself the issues that i have absorbed or assimilated into myself during my childhood and early adulthood.  I tend towards procrastination, I lie (and although this particular issues is one of the few that was simple enough to change when it comes to times when I am calm and asserted, but if I allow my emotions to drive my reason it pops up again, and it's still hard to admit when I have lied in the midst of a heated exchange) I have been frozen in the same basic circumstance for almost 10 years, I am a recovering heroin addict, (4 years clean time) and until recently I was focused on denying the effects of my problems within my life, as Stefan once said, "I was trying to over leap my past to get to my future..." which simply does not work.  So my point is that I say I am broken, not as an admission of defeat, or cry against life/world, but as a clarification of where I stand in my life.  In that sense I take reassurance from the admission, because as long as I am willing to see the truth of myself, what is broken now, can be fixed, and eventually even made better than new, as long as I do not deny the problems any longer, and truly invest in healing and helping myself, instead of just blaming and limiting myself.  It's amazingly counter-intuitive (at least to my mind) that such a seemingly negative assertion, can hold such power for the positive, I am broken, but I Will fix myself. 

But enough about myself, how about you? how did you discover Stefan and Freedomain? and how long have you been listening/member? And what was it that drew you to become a contributor to Stefan's wonderful project? 

 

P.s. Which end of the island do you live on? (Southie here , feel free to either Pm me, or tell me your not comfortable putting that sort of information out there if you aren't)

[psquared]

Hi Brandon,

I am sorry I never saw your reply until now.  I live on the south end of the island too...