marius Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 (Updated 14-Dec-2013, see last post ) (Updated 29-Jan-2014, may help you) Hello Philosophers, ill keep it short. Today i had my first therapy hour. Not exactly what i expected. These are the characteristics: Good Homework sometimes given Supported my plan to do activities were i might improve my social life (hobbies, etc.) Participates, not only asks "how do you feel?" Asked about friends with which i could talk honestly (have a 1-2) Interested in what i study and how i got here (parents influence, etc) Placed more attention on parenting rather than school collective and experience. Bad Psychologist, not psychotherapist. Behavioral Therapy Focused 4-5 Sessions to fix my "Anxiety, Dread" problem. Coincides with usual insurance count limit. Introduced himself in a formal way without giving relevant personal information. (talked about the places he works) I had to unload my hypotheses about the history causes. Little questions from him. More focused toward acting as an adviser on action, social worker. More concerned with doing stuff you fear rather than pursuing the cause Correct me if im wrong, but this is a problem that is solved by correcting thinking,not? Did not get the impression that he puts value on emotions I did not feel amazed after finishing the session. Conclusion: I did not have the chance to ask most of my questions, but i think its clear anyways. So seeing that i dont have time, money to loose, my mind is almost entirely made up that i am looking for a new therapist on internet, will ask for the recent therapist's referral. I want a therapist that puts value on fixing the problem at its cause, not covering the symptoms. Questions: If anyone knows anything at all about the possibilities here, please let me know. (Im in the Netherlands, Eindhoven)If you think i interpreted something in a wrong way, please comment.
Ruben Zandstra Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Hi Marius, I've been in therapy in NL for a couple of times over the years. I would advice you to try and find a therapist outside of RIAGG / municipal / government services. Your family physician will probably refer you to a local RIAGG department. Instead of going with that, ask for a referral after you've made up your mind about who you actually want to go and see. You could have a look here for alternatives: http://www.nvvp.nl/ I hope it works out for you, and it's nice to hear from a local. I'm in the region of Zwolle.
marius Posted October 28, 2013 Author Posted October 28, 2013 Hi Ruben, Yes i got redirected to a person inside the same medical center SGE. I will certainly check it out. I am not really a local in the full sense, im a foreign student.Anyway, this reminds me of meetup groups, i checked the fdr community some time ago, and i did not see any Dutch cities. Really there arent any? Something has to be done.
marius Posted December 14, 2013 Author Posted December 14, 2013 Hello again,I had an intake with a therapist specialized in Schema Therapy & RET. She says that the RET does not suffice for people who had childhood trauma, which i think is correct. She has a not so friendly view on psychoanalysis and dream analysis, which is not a problem. Also i dont like that she avoided my question with religion. Ill have to insist. And she avoided giving me an outline (defining success, length, milestones, measuring at the beginning and end) -- will have to insist. She does appear to have experience, being a clinical psychologist. I just not so sure about the idea of re-parenting (schema -- even though i didnt read any advanced content). What has lacked at the time left effects that may be corrected, but whats done is done.
mreyallior Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 I find Schema therapy amazing, read a lot about it, experienced it from going through some of the "modes" myself in the past, and by observing others as they went through quick schema changes, I think, no, I'm sure it's pretty valid. I think every therapist should know it. Schema Therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder http://ld106.inmotionhosting.com/~therap7/schematherapy.com/Borderline%20slides%20Feb%202004%20a_files/frame.htm The 5 Faces of Borderline Personality Disorder
marius Posted January 18, 2014 Author Posted January 18, 2014 I appreciate the response. I find it valuable that schema looks into the past so that you understand your patterns and the background. And of course by understanding and knowing them you have the chance to modify them. Its interesting that the therapist herself advised me against reading the main book on Schema. So advising against knowledge. That among other things led me to end the sessions. Damn hard to find a good one. (2 failed attempts) I imagine you arent going to have an easier time in France. (high formal authority level country)
marius Posted January 29, 2014 Author Posted January 29, 2014 I had a bad experience with the second therapist now. I will describe it chronologically, so that other people may find it easier to get away from harmful people disguised as medical professionals. The "" quotes mean what she said. ------------ Unable to give a definition of success Unable to draw an approximate a plan of what this interaction will be like, purpose, method, etc. Taking a defensive position when i come with some knowledge in psychology -didnt recommend to read the book on Schema, as she does to others - discussion seen as challenge to her dogma. -weird glance when i showed i carried a journal No homework Attack if asked to describe the stance on religion. "That's none of your business" Push to get along with people even though it doesnt depend all on me "Self-Aggrandizer" - in no way should i be proud of what i achieved. "Flow with the current, its easier". Dont rise your head above others. "Get a job", "Learn the local language" - Not advice or suggestion but directions. No regard for my reasons against (my parents fund me, im studying; would be loss of time; im not staying for much longer) -and when i responded that i dont agree with that, "Oh then dont do it" - as if nothing happened, no reasoning, just emotional responses When a disagreement is reached, she moves fast so that we dont solve or overcome it, i need to stop the discussion to address it. When i dont understand her message: "Of course you dont undertand" - well if shes so smart, why didnt she formulate it differently in the first place. How can you have productive communication with such a person. Inability to accept inconsistencies or mistakes when proven wrong. "You are making a religion out of logic" - No comment Insults: "nerd" ; "autistic" (not medical meaning, but insult); "that's just stupid" - after i answered that i want to do what i decide with my life. No wonder i felt uneasy during the process, no similarity to a special experience stef was talking about. I had to force myself to talk, nothing was coming out by itself. Contradictions: "you never asked me to define 'success' " - i did because thats on my list of first questions ; "never asked me to define 'health' " - but i did because it came up during one of the tests; "i never said 'go with the flow' " - but she did. -------------- This is a singular case, but lessons can be learned from it: dont start a difficult journey if you dont have any plan, dont accept insults, listen to your instinct about the person (may be difficult for people, because the reason they go into therapy in the first place is that they have emotional problems, so not calibrated). try to disqualify a person for the job instead of qualifying (the second should happen automatically as a result of the first) If you dont feel at home with the person, why lose time to overcome multiple levels of barriers, they are there for a purpose (again, this applies to less serious cases of trauma, when you still have the ability to judge people approx. objectively) The way disagreements and mistakes are dealt with Common values etc It took me 4 sessions to make the decision (due to multiple distractions), i hope it doesnt for you. Now im feeling a lot better, and im better at judging people.
Jelle de Jong Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Marius did you (or anyone else) eventually find a good psychotherapist in The Netherlands? I made a template email with some questions (partly based on Stefan’s video on how to find a good therapist) and personal requirements and wishes, been going through nvvp.nl and sending out emails, but so far no luck yet.
crops Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 Is it too much to expect a therapy session to be like a conversation with steff? I have some confusion wether my current therapyits effective and worth it
Ruben Zandstra Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 Marius did you (or anyone else) eventually find a good psychotherapist in The Netherlands? I made a template email with some questions (partly based on Stefan’s video on how to find a good therapist) and personal requirements and wishes, been going through nvvp.nl and sending out emails, but so far no luck yet. Hi Jelle, just curious: did you get a lot of responses that were dissatisfying .. or little response overall?
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