Stiofan Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Hi, my name is Stiofan, I am an atheist and a anarcho-capitalism. I would like to say hello to everyone and a big thank you to Stefan, Michael and everyone else who has made FDR what it is. ===========Edit========= I have removed most of the content to remove personal identifiers. 3
Kevin Beal Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 Hi Stiofan! Welcome to the boards Your story resonates with me. Particularly about what specifically I listen to the show for, and I really like your emphasis on the right question "what is moral?" My Experience With Therapy As far as therapy goes, I benefitted from Stef's advice which was to trust my gut and ask myself if I'm excited to start / continue therapy with this person. There are, unfortunately, a lot of bad therapists. The research I've seen says that the particular school of therapy is not as important as the allegiance you feel with the therapist. Good therapy takes a lot of trust and vulnerability, and if you don't feel connected or you don't think you're being heard, or if you just don't think it's a good fit, then you can totally fire them. They are providing you a service, and your time and money is valuable. I had particular reasons I wanted to go into therapy, and so I asked her questions about her experience working with anxiety and depression and family issues. I asked her if she regarded forgiveness as a virtue and what she thought about more subtle forms of child abuse. I liked her answers, but I wasn't certain yet if I wanted to continue (for a few reasons, not least of which money). I kept going and felt relief being able to get a bunch of things off my chest and I became a little more convinced that it would be a good fit. Feeling super anxious about it, but finding it necessary, I brought up things that I didn't like that she had said, and in finding those interactions to be very productive and interesting, I became certain that I wanted to continue therapy with this woman. I went twice a week for almost 4 years, and I know that the harder I worked at it outside of therapy, the more interesting and productive it was inside therapy. There are things that I like to do that I think compliment therapy nicely, like dream analysis, written journals, audio journals, parts work, sentence completions, and talking to other people who are doing similar work. When I wanted to become a web developer, I immersed myself in the web industry and culture. I talked to other developers, watched what the successful people were doing and I emulated them. I studied up on the theory and debates. I got my hands dirty and went head first into it gaining empirical, first hand knowledge. I think self knowledge is the same in this regard: you've gotta get your hands dirty. Resources on Finding a Therapist How to Find a Great Therapist (Stefbizzle) How to find the right therapist (Alice Miller) A Former Therapist's Critique of Psychotherapy (Daniel Mackler) 3
Stiofan Posted September 29, 2014 Author Posted September 29, 2014 Kevin, Thank you for the reply, being so open and the good advice. I have done some self work, but I am aware its no where near enough and that outside help is needed. Going to look into the topics you have raised. Some are completely new to me (parts work and audio journals) and there is always room for improvement with others. The post you made on 'Guilty for feeling guilty' has given me something new to think and work on. I have that feeling but have never tired the method you used. Thanks again.
PatrickC Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 Hi Stiofan, Welcome to the boards and a sounds like you have been making some brave new inroads with your life. If you're interested I co host a meet up group in London that has recently started again within the last 6 months. We have varying numbers between 12 - 30 people. You are certain to meet some likeminds amongst them. Our next meet up is on the 11 Oct at Kew Gardens near Richmond (West London). We have a meet up page if you are on Facebook. Otherwise you can go to the meet up everywhere website to sign up for email reminders. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1438425056435291/ http://www.meetup.com/Freedomain-Radio/London-GB/1211802/
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