My name is David

[Deil]

I'm 23 years old, and I want to make my life better. I want to move somewhere that's mostly cold, but also doesn't have snow often. I'm thinking of Colorado(currently in FL).

 

Right now I'm working as an electronics associate(which I am enjoying more than any other job I've had). My passion is mostly the hardware side of electronics because I like to work with my hands. I haven't gotten into sodering or anything, so for now I just help my friends with thermal pasting their GPUs/CPUs, or building PCs/picking out parts for them to get. I don't want to do much software stuff. Because I am enjoying my electronics job, I actually have a taste of what it's like to work on something that I'm passionate about, and it feels great(the pay isn't much, but better than min. wage). My thirst to get a career going in it is incredibly high, but I am pessimistic because I will see a game plan and it will either take a few years(degree), or some say it is unrealistic and won't get me a job(A+ certification, any cert, etc).

 

I'm on the fence because if I choose something that may seem like failure ahead, I get cold feet very easily. I have dropped about half the college classes I've taken. However, most of that has occurred in my late teens. My GPA isn't great(2-something?), but I do have a sort of scholarship that could pay for almost the rest of my AA(very close to done), and all of a B.S. I had a ~3.5 in High School without trying(dunno if that's saying much), so I know I'm capable of achieving at least something not entry-level.

 

At the time I was dropping half of my classes, I was drinking heavily. A lot. Like Four Lokos or ~12 light beers or strong mix drinks heavily. This lasted up until I guess early-mid 22. Because it's been a year since I stopped drinking completely, and I seriously owe it all to Stefan. I was on the verge of drinking myself to death. My hangovers were causing anxiety attacks when I had never had them. My nail in the coffin was when I had accidentally recorded a moment while I was blacked out and my girlfriend said "David, I'm worried about you." When I heard that recording while I was sober, it tore me apart. It still tears me apart remembering it.

 

The reason why I say that Stefan was the one that saved me from the disgusting social cycle made by abominable people is because during those times that I drank, I was continuously beating myself up for my failures, and I wanted so much to blame my parents too. I can't find the episode right now, but when Stefan explained the cycle of abuse, I had an incredible epiphany. My spine ignited and I reawakened out of my living hell. My ears were perked and I began devouring podcasts, and I read UPB.

 

I am beginning to have the feelings of excitement that I used to have as a child before my father's pessimistic outlook took over. I keenly recognize these feelings and they are so few and so brief, but working at the place I am at currently is giving me the only hope to continue chasing those feelings.

 

This is my extensive "Hello to FDR." I reached my post limit for the day, so I won't be able to reply unless it somehow gets prematurely lifted.

 

Thanks for reading.

[Kevin Beal]

Hi David!

 

Welcome to the boards

 

As a software dork, I must say: software rules, hardware drools!

 

That's very cool that you have that to be passionate about, and it's great too that you've discovered the thirst for knowledge and philosophy. I'm glad to hear you are not drinking to excess anymore and that you're excited and motivated.

 

I'd love to know which podcast you are referring to about the cycle of abuse if you find it again.

 

I think technically the credit should go to yourself for your own commitment to taking your life seriously. Stef helped you see what you should do, I'm sure, but you're the one who did the work. Insight is only potential, without action.

 

I'm always interested to know what people who've recently discovered FDR are listening to. What are some podcasts that had an impact on you? Do you listen to the call-in shows mostly, or do you prefer the solo casts? What topics?

 

Take care, and I look forward to your reply

[Blackfish64]

Your job sounds totally cool!  I would love to do a job like that!  All my computers are older than the hills and I frequently mess with them only because I find it fascinating.  I run minimalist Linux distros on old machines that people give me because they were going to throw them away!  Throw them away?  Please, no!  I take them over and run them on Linux for a few more years, until they croak.  Actually, I take that back... they stop croaking after I start them up again running Linux.  Puppy Linux RULES!  My fav!  

 

Yep, it's a good thing you stopped drinking.  I did that for a few years, too.  Though I never did like drinking.  Puts me out of control and I can't remember stuff!  I hate that!  Marijuana is my drug of choice.  But I don't do that anymore either.  It's good to be drug free.  

 

Enjoy the boards!  Lots of cool stuff here!  

 

Later! 

[Deil]

Hi David!

 

Welcome to the boards

 

As a software dork, I must say: software rules, hardware drools!

 

That's very cool that you have that to be passionate about, and it's great too that you've discovered the thirst for knowledge and philosophy. I'm glad to hear you are not drinking to excess anymore and that you're excited and motivated.

 

I'd love to know which podcast you are referring to about the cycle of abuse if you find it again.

 

I think technically the credit should go to yourself for your own commitment to taking your life seriously. Stef helped you see what you should do, I'm sure, but you're the one who did the work. Insight is only potential, without action.

 

I'm always interested to know what people who've recently discovered FDR are listening to. What are some podcasts that had an impact on you? Do you listen to the call-in shows mostly, or do you prefer the solo casts? What topics?

 

Take care, and I look forward to your reply

 

Lol. I understand the allure of software, but I am interested in a different pace and mindset. I actually made a piece of software for a made up table-top game. It pretty much just rolls dice and has a 1v1 combat system.

 

I really appreciate your sympathy, and I guess I was setting myself up for that kind of a response. I am extremely grateful for how concise Stefan is. His foundational proofs for his conclusions are exactly what have interested me in philosophy, but I have never been able to see them in action.

 

I took notes on a few of the first podcasts I listened to.

 

2563 Making Excuses for Evil

2:22:00

Evil people fabricate the false dichotomy that the victim should either forgive an evil person or seethe in anger against an evil person.

 

I had always thought this before listening to this podcast. I seethed in anger against my parents, and until I heard this, I had been "solving" my problems with drinking. Then in tandem with:

 

2549 Evil is a Confession of Inadequacy

My dad manipulating our conversations is a confession that he couldn't have a real conversation with me. Both of these gave me the relief to start truly focusing on myself and restart getting somewhere great.

 

And of course...

2614 The Greatest Gift in the Entire Universe

Sometimes when I feel that gut feeling when something difficult comes up, I remember that overcoming difficulties is actually so much more exciting than just secluding myself. Very awesome pickup podcast.

 

I really like the call-in shows, but I have gotten a lot from short mail-bag responses too. I mentioned this in the other thread, but I am definitely interested in hearing a few more dream analysis conversations. Stefan is great at symbolism. I have gotten the most out of the topics of responsibility, motivation, and self-knowledge in general.

 

Thanks, Kevin!

 

Your job sounds totally cool!  I would love to do a job like that!  All my computers are older than the hills and I frequently mess with them only because I find it fascinating.  I run minimalist Linux distros on old machines that people give me because they were going to throw them away!  Throw them away?  Please, no!  I take them over and run them on Linux for a few more years, until they croak.  Actually, I take that back... they stop croaking after I start them up again running Linux.  Puppy Linux RULES!  My fav!  

 

Yep, it's a good thing you stopped drinking.  I did that for a few years, too.  Though I never did like drinking.  Puts me out of control and I can't remember stuff!  I hate that!  Marijuana is my drug of choice.  But I don't do that anymore either.  It's good to be drug free.  

 

Enjoy the boards!  Lots of cool stuff here!  

 

Later! 

 

I just realized that I forgot to mention that me helping my friends is what I do on the side. My job is mostly selling TVs, but sometimes selling laptops, tablets, or electronic peripherals/accessories. I enjoy it because I am passionate about sharing the knowledge that I have on electronics, but I am getting the taste of the field of electronics and I really want to get into my niche, which is electronic hardware.

 

That's cool what you do with old computers. What is it that you do with them when you get Linux on them? I've always been interested in as to why people have spare PCs(or servers) like that hanging around.

 

For a year straight I actually stopped drinking and got into marijuana. That was just about as fruitless as my drinking. I have a problem with moderation, so I stopped with all of it, cold turkey. I can think so much more clearly now, and philosophy is only jet fuel to enhance my thinking.