Cheers from Brazil

[Andre1332]

Hello, and thanks for your time reading this.

I am an 24 old male Brazilian, having my first work experience creating an gamification project for a call center. My hobbies are acquiring new knowledge, gaming, Japanese comics (I wouldn't say i am an otaku however). I did martial arts for a while but sadly I am in a hiatus now, planning to resume it.

Some time ago, I woke up and realized that I knew nothing, that all my life I was living on the automatic mode and that I dint have the knowledge or the experiences necessary to be a happy person or to create any sort of value to anyone. Scared and pretty much alone, I started to study philosophy and other knowledge to build a self. Now I not at the point I want to be, but at least I have built some self value and believe I have found a direction to keep walking. There is much I still don't know and I still struggle with bad habits, such as procrastination, but I fell I am getting somewhere. Its a lengthy process, but well worth it. Now I can see a beautiful world.

Taking the quote "Reason equals virtue equals Happiness", I'd say that I have brought reason to my life, now I beginning to understand virtue, and i am positive that one day I shall find happiness.

I hope I can find some friends here, I miss having intellectual discussions of any sort.

A bit of my history.

First my family

I grew in Brazil, a country with very poor education and strong left tendencies. My parents where what we call here the caviar leftists, sheltered people that for some reason or another defended communism and what not, and they never took life very seriously, my mother because her grandfather left an very big heritage and he mother never knew what it was to produce any value all her life, her father was a journalist and wasn't home much. My father's father was the very example of the self made man, he went from zero to one of best physicians of my country, however, he didn't had a very lovingly family and as result he is very good at his trade but has a closed mind for other things. The biggest problem is my father's mother, i don't know how she was educated but her and all her sisters have built "troublesome families" with cases of drug abuse. My father had a severe case of drug abuse and he and his brother have some trouble with social occasions.

How was growing up in this kind of environment? Well, first of all, I didn't suffer any physical violence, which is nice, when I was a child my father had a bit of a temper, my parents often argued loudly and it used to scare me as a child, but he only threatened me once, and i can only remember 2 times where he would complain with me. As a result, even as I still live with him today, we talk less than 15 minutes a week and I have no emotional attachment to him. My father figure was my grand father, he was a man i could respect, but as mentioned i didn't receive much love or education for him, for he only knew how to work. On these lines, I didn't receive much education at all, I remember when i was very young, and i couldn't spell a word that was not written phonetically, and the teacher laughed at me, instead of teaching me how to do it, note here that all my life i attended to expensive private schools, even so, i didn't receive any real education from parents or school.

My relationships were very shallow, no one in my family had any idea of values, plus no one could teach me or be a model for social interaction, so I had trouble building any kind of relationship. My deepest bounds were made with my cats 7. I had some casual friends, but after a while I would lose contact. Plus, the meta on my country for the youth is cheap beer, cheap sex, cheap music, which are things that don't attract me.

I was able to automatically "live" my life without much problems until the year before college, where the amount of dedication required to meet the desired outcome by my grandmother (in this point in time and forward, it was my father parents which provided for my household), and I wasn't very dedicated to studying. Grades started to fall, I started lying, my mother's suggestion. The education my mother gave me was basically that if i faced a hardship, i could lie or skip it or pretend it didn't happen. I threw always several things on my life thanks to this lack of responsibility, which now i regret doing. I was able to enter in a college, once again I failed lots of classes, had a hard time with my family, lied to everyone became a severe procrastinator, didn't knew what to do which my life.

Two things made change however, I took classes on entrepreneurship and started listening to philosophy. After a while I noticed that time passed but I didn't build much, I noticed how empty I was, how I didn't really knew nothing, not even the most basic knowledge. I started building myself up, trying to fill up the knowledge i feel i should have but i didn't.