Hi Everybody

[Sean V]

Hi FDR Community,

 

My name is Sean. I'm 26 years old. I'm still living at home in North New Jersey near NYC.  I think I discovered FDR about a year ago and I've been an avid listener ever since.

 

I'm not applying philosophy to my life as much as I think I should be doing or would like to do. For one thing, I'm very isolated. I've seen a few therapists in the past who were a little helpful but not very, and I'm looking for a new one right now. I've bought Jay Earley's book Self Therapy and IFS has already been a very powerful and effective tool for me. I have already had some positive and enlightening experiences with it.

 

Maybe this would be better suited for another topic, but briefly, when I was in my late teens and early twenties I had some pretty intense and traumatic experiences with drugs. Ever since then I've had great difficulty connecting with people and have isolated myself as a result.

 

Looking back I don't think I was ever on stable and supportive ground to begin with because of my relationship with my friends and parents. I think my psychological defenses and protectors have mostly taken over and run my life since that period of time.

 

I'm at a point where I really want to make changes in my life. It's very scary and tough. I want to have more conversations with members of the community and also just work on social skills in general. I've also been thinking about traveling on my own for a little bit.

 

Anyway, thanks for reading

Sean

 

 

 

[Kevin Beal]

Hi Sean! Welcome to the boards

 

I'm sorry to hear about the isolation and difficulties you've had, but I'm really glad that you are feeling as motivated as you are to pursue self knowledge and step outside your comfort zone. That's admirable.

 

I'm curious to hear about your experience of IFS if you felt like sharing some more

[Delightful Might]

Hi Sean!  I hope you find like-minded people.  Regarding weird physiology, I've had a great time with kettle bells and hot yoga.  I'm fighting fire with fire.  If my body wants to send me bizarre thoughts that don't match reality, I will do the things that make it send happy/peaceful thoughts, like getting 150 bpm for half an hour!!!!!  That, and good sleep, and no wheat.  Hope this helps!

 

Best to you, and look forward to seeing you in the Chatroom.  -D

[Sean V]

Thanks for the replies guys,

 

@Kevin Beal - I'm still a bit of a newbie to IFS. I have a few more chapters to go in Jay Earley's book until I'm finished. But so far I've realized that I have some very serious protectors that numb my emotions and isolate me from other people for my own safety. Some early experiences were so intense for me that they had to be stopped by these protectors. During one of my sessions when I was trying to get in touch with an exile, I felt like I was seeing all these different layers of protectors doing their thing. Like one layer would be a general tenseness in my entire body then I would un-blend from it, ask to be shown what it is protecting me from and then another protector would swoop in and make me foggy or distract me, maybe with a song in my head or something if I was getting too close to an exile without first going through the process of gaining trust I suppose.

A few days ago when reading the part about accessing exiles I felt a kind of breakthrough when I felt like I was able to access an exile. I was witnessing and experiencing some emotions of a younger part of myself that felt very shy and insecure around other people for fear of being teased or made fun of. It felt good to witness it. For the past couple of days I've felt pretty foggy though and have had a hard time accessing parts. I'm also curious to hear other peoples experience with IFS as well.

 

@Delightful Might - Thanks for the advice. I have some experience with kettle bells and actually own one. I'd like to try hot yoga sometime too, I'm a little worried about passing out though for whatever reason I get dizzy pretty easily in saunas 

[Matt D]

 Hi Sean! 

 

Looking back I don't think I was ever on stable and supportive ground to begin with because of my relationship with my friends and parents. I think my psychological defenses and protectors have mostly taken over and run my life since that period of time.

 

I'm at a point where I really want to make changes in my life. It's very scary and tough. I want to have more conversations with members of the community and also just work on social skills in general. I've also been thinking about traveling on my own for a little bit.

 

 

Your vulnerability is very appreciated. 

 

I know the fear very well. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that any change that's worthwhile is never easy.

 

Sounds like your protectors have been working really hard, which is understandable given your history.

 

Welcome!