happytoexist Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 My introduction: I am a young male in my 20's living in Canada with three years of undergraduate education under my belt. I listen to Freedomain Radio to escape the boredom of my summer job. Boredom includes the monotony of swing a hammer all day and also the distasteful conversation that goes along with the job. I can't wait for school to start again! My education: 1 year at University "A" while playing CJFL football. 2 years at College "A" completed and I now look forward to 2 more years at University "B" to complete my bachelors. I also possess an Emergency Medical Responder certificate and volunteer as such on the ambulance in my community. Why I love philosophy? In my undergrad program we are required to take one philosophy class called "ethics". That class made me fall in love with thought. My whole life until that class had been a storm of "just so" and "or else" morality, the exploration of ethical theories in that class both scared and fascinated me. ex-Mormon: I am technically not an ex-mormon yet. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints still has my name on their meticulous records and uses my data to bolster there member count and to pester me with visits from missionaries and home teachers. However, I am hesitant to send the official request for removal of membership because of my position in the community and my relationship with my family. My co-workers at my construction job are all active members and although they enjoy having philosophical discussions, if said discussions call into question anything related to the church all bets are off. For prudence sake I now avoid such topics. The discussions we have had about the existence of god, vaccine efficacy, and circumscision generally all end with something like, "Well, we cant anything know for certain, and my opinion is just as valid as your so called evidence." Which I am forced to accept because our power tools are not very useful for accessing online libraries and databases in order to verify any evidence cited. So thats fun, helps pass the time and we all end up happy because we are truly just arguing for the sake of managing boredom and there is no sense holding any grudges. So that is me in a nut shell. Thanks for welcoming me to the forum(s). -happytoexist 2
Kurtis Posted June 20, 2015 Posted June 20, 2015 Hello and welcome to the boards! A couple thoughts/questions about your opening post: I listen to Freedomain Radio to escape the boredom of my summer job. ..... So thats fun, helps pass the time and we all end up happy because we are truly just arguing for the sake of managing boredom and there is no sense holding any grudges. Is your interest in philosophy and FDR simply a way of managing boredom? Seems like that's not true because you said yourself that you love philosophy and that it fascinates you. I could be wrong but it feels like you might be minimizing your passion due to your environment, such as with your coworkers. I understand that there are many people with whom one cannot honestly discuss philosophy with, but here on the boards you do not need to censor yourself. The above comment you made that I highlighted feels to me like what you are avoiding saying is that they all end up happy, at the expense of your happiness. This is a safe harbour my friend, let your philosophy passion free! There are many people here who will be happy to have the conversations you desire.
happytoexist Posted June 22, 2015 Author Posted June 22, 2015 Thank you Kurtis! You are totally right about my withholding from philosophical conversation. It is likely best for me to refrain from forcing such conversations on my co-workers and family but this forum can be a great escape for me. Last night I wrote my official resignation letter for the LDS church. I even went so far as to print it, sign it and seal it in an envelope addressed to LDS member records in Salt Lake City! I don't know if I have the guts to send it just yet though. The instructional website I used was www.mormonnomore.com which warns of the cascade of events that will follow sending the resignation letter. I can expect to be contacted by local church leaders who will want to dissuade me and although I have requested confidentiality I do not expect that my request will be honoured. My experience with the church has taught me that there is no such thing as confidentiality. When I was 18 my LDS friends and I frequented the bar scene. When one of them decided that they needed to confess there sins, even if they confessed to a different bishop, I would be summoned to an interview with my bishop because "the spirit" had told him I needed help. I have a strong feeling when member records informs my old bishop of my resignation "the spirit" will whisper to my family, my LDS employer, and my LDS volunteer Fire department chief (who also use to teach me in seminary). I am afraid I will be ostracized in almost all areas of my life and I don't want to lose out on the opportunities afforded me by LDS community members. I am very thankful for my summer job and my volunteer opportunities, they help me fund my education and make valuable contributions to my CV. If it weren't for them I would definitely not be living in the same small town I grew up in. Officially leaving the church is nothing more then a self awarded symbolic victory. My reason for leaving the church is simply because it isn't true and I do not want to associate myself with an organization founded and maintained by falsehoods. It is also self satisfying to not allow them to use my name to bolster their statistics. Name removal will also relieve some mild pestering from missionaries and "home teachers" reaching out to someone they think needs help, but that is only a mild annoyance. So, is it worth it? I feel like I am better to tough it out until I finish my undergraduate degree and no longer have any use for the opportunities this community offers. "You will break your poor mothers heart" is what my friend said on Sunday when I told her that I wanted to officially resign. I do not want to hurt my mother but I know any suffering my apostasy would cause is her own fault. That is my conundrum. I apologize for the lack of philosophical subject matter. Thank you for making me feel welcome Kurtis. PS: Feel free to critique my writing. I know it is bad and would love to improve. Hello and welcome to the boards! A couple thoughts/questions about your opening post:
Kurtis Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Hi, great response. It sounds like you have your exit strategy well planned out, which must feel good. No need to apologize! Your post is full of philosophical content, and written very well. Although I do not know what it's like to deal with such an inclusive community, the difficulties you describe sound very similar to what many, including myself, have had to deal with in splitting from family systems that are built on falsehoods. The ostricism or threat of it is a very real thing. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this on so many fronts. How is your relationship with your parents and family? You mentioned above your concern about being honest with your parents about your desire to leave the church. I'm sure there are others in this online community who have come from the same religion as you, or have similar experiences in getting out of these communities. Again, welcome, and I wish you all the best in your journey.
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