Hello from USA

[ProRational]

I was born to an unhealthy parent and through their irrational sensibilities, I was hospitalized several times in my early youth. The individuals in charge of young children in such places had no business helping another, and a parent that told a child that they would grow up to become a murderer set me on a very angry path to anyone who would help, this was especially prevalent when others tried to help (in which the anger and betrayal that I hung onto presented a poor narrative towards those who may genuinely like to help) The early years where pretty fucked up, but I held onto the anger for many years up until this year. I only met two psychologists worthy of that title (One was a no-bullshit type who didn't push his ideologies) and another who taught me through various stories and narratives to do my research. While the last one may have pushed his therapy as well, it was the only one that was worthy of considering (which sowed the seeds for this year). But aside from that this year and watching Antifa on the net, and various other SJWs taught me how much BS went on in my teen years, one of which was in which the parent called blocking hitting them [I guess it never crossed their mind that continually hitting teens would eventually result in getting hit] I ended up at a juvenile treatment facility where the previous the local MH clinic told me the parent was abandoning me there, and they told the parent I didn't want to go home. Fast forward a couple weeks I ended up in jail due to running away with a pocket knife (to which I reacted poorly when I found out the parent said I threatened them, again their narrative changes but the one thing that struck me was that she said it was my eyes that were soo threatening. [Note: the knife was sheathed and not held by handle] but due to my poor speech to the police when they had shown up was very poor further hindering my odds of a fair trial. I got out on a deferred sentence. I internalized this narrative that the system was unfair and biased (I learned the beginnings of a white privilege narrative pushed by ethnic politicians in my state) I revolted at the system as the "fairness and equality" of anarchy by another scrawny white kid were whispered to me as we talked, it sounded reasonable but logic is not always critical. And then was put into a children's treatment center. This children's home had no business helping anyone. Imagine a zoo where many angry animals are in the same cage and encouraged to behave and provoked by the keepers all the same. Add another psychologist to the mix (who was too sensitive about othering but frequently took the opportunity to other).  The system later took a turn as I flipped out and reported myself to a P.O.  due to another fight with the parent again to which I reacted poorly. Anyway, I got out of the legal system and was encouraged to take up the handouts of the socialist system. I went to an adult group home, in which a  person was encouraged to vegetate in front of a TV watching re-runs of M*A*S*H and little house on a prairie. If you weren't cutting craft paper and other shitty kindergarten crafts. I hated it and made the mistake of falling in love with a foodie (note that the relationship quickly turned out to be an immense amount of turmoil on both sides it was more like a parasitic relationship on both my side and hers) I didn't like the emotional eating and felt compelled for a short time to bear the burden of taking up another person's emotions. But the narrative in all these years was that you are helpless (as far as the mental health side) and encouraged by the  BS statistics and witch doctors, whose first response was to prescribe antipsychotics dope a person out of their mind so that they would not put up a fight and would become easier to deal with. But a blessing was to get kicked out of that group home because I became too poor to afford my meds. I found out the meds were causing more depression and sleeplessness then they were supposed to treat. Because I got so poor I couldn't afford the medicine I actually was less depressed and slept more when I didn't take them. My experiences later up until this year were watching mentally ill people have their symptoms get worse by the guesswork of psychologists (they prefer to state that they are also MDs) pushing meds in an unscientific manner but then guesswork began on their new proposed diagnosis. Turns out the capable professionals were not so informed on the way they prescribed pills. But I have to say that group therapy is more of a pissing contest to see who can be the biggest victim. And watching the SJWs showed me how bad of an uninformed argument looks on camera (this is to include feeling cool pretending not to conform and try to become a punk-rocker/anarchist). But the therapy of one good psychologist is what pushed me to research topics from credible sources on the constitution and slavery and the crusades. Of which I found freedomain, while I won't make a haphazard lapse of cult for this site I will say it is a good forum to share and encourage others. And the lesson from this is the only person you can rely on is yourself and if someone pushes an idea of what is best, don't take their word for such bullshit find out for yourself. If someone tells you that you will not succeed, to an extent take it as encouragement that you are on the right path and never let yourself fall for the victim narrative. A victim is only a person who gave up fighting and decided to live in the moment they hated so much.