heartoftherebel Posted May 15, 2018 Posted May 15, 2018 My life reads like a Shakespearean tragedy, no I'm not being melodramatic. Despite years of therapy, inner work, etc I'm continually being bamboozled, and trolled by people who negatively affect my real life. I've heard Jordan Peterson talk about there are people who after a certain age they're just screwed, it's just over for them. I'm 43, I'm a felon because I fell for a real estate scam and even though I brought proof to the courts they still saw fit to punish me alone, and to even award the conman a restraining order against me after he violently assaulted me from behind. The D.A in los angeles refused to press charges against my attacker, but are considering pressing charges against me for "slandering" the conman. I'm jobless, living in an RV on my parents property in the middle of nowhere, they're not supportive of me getting back on my feet. At this point I feel like I'm some fucking 90 year old waiting to die, not like some middle age man trying to find a way to salvage what life I have left. Every solution I bring to people so that i can help myself is shot down. I am kept from being independent, I'm not allowed to borrow a car for any reason. I've tried making money online, but have never been able to make money online due to my destroyed reputation, I am marketed online by my haters as a schizophrenic, an alcoholic, a racist, sexist, violent felon, even a potential child molester and school shooter. If this shit sounds unreal , join the club. At this point I really can't see any solutions, I hate myself for what I've allowed myself to become, I really honestly feel like this isn't reality, it sure as hell doesn't feel real, and I really do kinda want to just go to sleep and not wake up rather than continue suffering needlessly for who knows how much longer. And yes, for the past year I've been pretty much alone in my RV, the closest people being my family who I really on't care much for to begin with.
Dylan Lawrence Moore Posted May 15, 2018 Posted May 15, 2018 Have you thought about escaping to another country and starting over? Preferably 3rd world where you could simply bribe your way into legal residency?
heartoftherebel Posted May 15, 2018 Author Posted May 15, 2018 21 minutes ago, Dylan Lawrence Moore said: Have you thought about escaping to another country and starting over? Preferably 3rd world where you could simply bribe your way into legal residency? That would just create more difficult problems. I should be in the fight, I should be acknowledged as one of the good guys. Not hiding like some trembling infantile creature.
RichardY Posted May 15, 2018 Posted May 15, 2018 @heartoftherebelI don't know, what have you done that is good? Personally I don't want acknowledgement, but significance.
Dylan Lawrence Moore Posted May 16, 2018 Posted May 16, 2018 22 hours ago, heartoftherebel said: That would just create more difficult problems. I should be in the fight, I should be acknowledged as one of the good guys. Not hiding like some trembling infantile creature. What's your plan of action for fighting back, then?
Jsbrads Posted June 7, 2018 Posted June 7, 2018 You got me beat, except for family, there I got you beat (if it’s a competition) my family is a real piece of work. Other than family, my life was bad but no quite as bad as yours although once I would have been thankful for an rv. I thought it was all over years ago and I was just hoping for it to end. I was able to get cheap counseling thru one program. I found a job program for felons (even tho I’m not a felon) and they helped me with my resume and interview skills. They would have given me a job sweeping streets if I were a felon, but I didn’t qualify. They offered me a cash job once, but I was earning just a bit more money doing something else at the time. It probably was Peterson reading the story of Cain and Able when I decided I really didn’t want to go down that rabbit hole. Still stuck, but then I got a slightly better job and then another better yet. Life ain’t rosy. But it’s better. I have hope it won’t go back to the shitter, but I know I can lose everything in a moment. I can’t guarantee your life will get better. But I do know you can find a way to make it worse and if you don’t want that you gotta take it one day at a time. Mindful meditation helped me get myself 1% better. Heart, I’ll talk with you if you want. Email me [email protected]
barn Posted June 7, 2018 Posted June 7, 2018 Hi @Jsbrads 35 minutes ago, Jsbrads said: Mindful meditation helped me get myself 1% better. Do you think I'm rightly assuming you'd meant that "1%" IN A COMPOUNDING EFFECT ? i.e - doing regular mindful meditation seems to net small benefit in the moment (even a daily, solid 10min) BUT it's incremental, akin to building up to an 'overnight-success' eventually. p.s / Big, Fat, massive-thumbs-up on you taking care of your self-improvement, I have 'legit' admiration to anyone showing the good examples of healing! /
Recommended Posts