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Darius

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Everything posted by Darius

  1. Darius
    A new article, where I comment on a response I got that argues yelling at your child is okay, even useful. In it, I explain why this is not the case, and analyze the response itself and how it reflects on the psyche of somebody who thinks this way. Response I received: "Not that I do not agree with any of this, but as a parent (and someone abused badly as a child--in most all ways), I can say some of it is ridiculous. I am sorry. Parents sometimes yell at their children. They get punished and disciplined as the situation dictates, and ALWAYS mine know why. The world is not going to be always empathetic to ones problems. There is not going to be people around to SOOTH them all their lives...sorry, but that is true. No, if my kid has a slight scrape I won't over indulge them (they are 10, 12, and 15) as they must learn to do it for themselves too. I am not abusive, but, as most parents will admit, I am not perfect. But, the world is not an empathetic place...by and large...they should not have to learn that the hard way. I do not beat, neglect, nor have scared my kids the way I have been. Seeing as I was abused, I do make en effort to do the best I can to not repeat. I agree everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, but, people piss people off...and one should be able to correct a wrong and be heard...if yelling is needed to be heard...so be it! " Read my analysis here: http://blog.selfarcheology.com/2016/04/q-i-yell-at-my-children-and-they-will.html
  2. Darius
    My newest article about figuring out if your therapy is actually working for you or not. "Today’s question is extremely popular: I’m in therapy, and some people [my spouse, or parent, or friend, or coworker, or partner] say that it’s not working for me. I’m confused. Is it true?" Read it here: http://blog.selfarcheology.com/2016/04/q-is-therapy-working-for-me.html
  3. Darius
    You're welcome, guys!
  4. Darius
    A new article, where I answer a very common question: should I talk to my parents about my painful childhood experiences? Link: http://blog.selfarcheology.com/2016/03/q-should-i-talk-to-my-parents-about-my.html
  5. Darius
    You're welcome, Abbie!
  6. Darius
    A very important message regarding a painfully common misconception about having psychoemotional struggles, feeling unsure, being "weak," and looking for help.
  7. Darius
    You're welcome, guys—and thanks for your feedback!
  8. Darius
    I finally finished editing a new video on the topic of toxic behavior in relationships. Eventually, I decided to divide it into two videos based on the topics discussed there. I am very pleased with the final product, and I can definitely recommend it to anyone interested in the subject. In the first part, I talk about the origins and mechanism of toxic behavior in adult relationships. Questions explored here: How do most people choose their adult relationships? What are the traits they are looking for in others and why? Why do we sometimes treat our close ones worse than strangers? Why do we act out in our relationships in general? In part two, I look at the options available for someone who is in an abusive, unhappy, or dissatisfying relationship. How can a person resolve a situation where they are in such a relationship?
  9. Darius
    A4E, thanks for the feedback, and please do
  10. Darius
    Part three in my three-part article series on the voice of reason. "We’ve already established why and how disconnected people react when in confrontation with reality, and that in order to remain in denial and disconnection one has to ignore trauma and silence reason—that of other people and in themselves. Here, I will talk about the personal and social effects of being a voice of reason." Read more here: http://blog.selfarcheology.com/2016/02/silencing-voice-of-reason-part-3-pros.html
  11. Darius
    I finished a new video on fake versus real curiosity in relationships, where I talk about about the differences between real and false curiosity in relationships, how "curiosity" can be used as a tool of manipulation, and possible problems related to it.
  12. Darius
    By the way, for those who are curious, the whole show can be found on YouTube:
  13. Darius
    AcuuTron, I'm glad you found value in it! A4E, I see your point. I added Hypothetical example #1 and Hypothetical example #2 before the examples to create a bigger separation, and I changed the As and Bs in the second example to keep the consistency. It's a little unusual to start with a letter B but better than confusing people. Thanks for your feedback, A4E—it was really helpful.
  14. Darius
    Part two in my three-part article series on silencing the voice of reason. "Having principles carries a lot of weight. Your thoughts and emotions dictate your behavior. So if you have a certain mindset, you will act in a certain way. When you live in a highly delusional and unprincipled society as ours, having principles and applying them consistently requires enormous inner strength and courage. Your life is different than that of most people; your priorities are different than most people’s; your relationships are different; you see things that other people don’t see. And when you describe those things, people who are highly invested in staying unprincipled and irrational—that is the majority of our population—get upset and unruly." Read more here: http://blog.selfarcheology.com/2016/02/silencing-voice-of-reason-part-2-values.html
  15. Darius
    DCLuigi, this show was about compliance, to the degree of killing a person by pushing them off the roof.
  16. Darius
    This is a video clip from Derren Brown's show "Pushed to the Edge." Here, he conducts a compliance test that shows who is more compliant, how easily some people are influenced by others, and what are the consequences.
  17. Darius
    I just finished a new three-part article series on silencing the voice of reason. Here's the first part. "In this series of articles, I will talk about people’s avoidance of reality, and about personal and social outrage when encountering a voice of reason. In the first part that is this article, I will explain the origins of a person’s unreasonable reaction to describing reality and the mechanism behind this phenomenon. I will also talk about the social outcomes of openly describing the unpleasant aspects of reality, especially child mistreatment." Read more here: http://blog.selfarcheology.com/2016/02/silencing-voice-of-reason-part-1.html
  18. Darius
    In this short video, I introduce the concept of self-doubt, and talk about the origins of self-doubt, potential problems with it, and results when and if its resolved.
  19. Darius
    The second episode of our podcast is here! In it, I and my co-host Jackie talk about the concepts of hope, passivity, (self-)responsibility, boundaries, and more. Get cozy and join us for an hour of self-archeology.
  20. Darius
    Hey, I just made a short new video on the topic of projected anger: what is it, why people have it, and what to do about it.
  21. Darius
    So, a few weeks ago, we recorded a podcast, which probably will become a regular thing. In the first episode of Self-Archeological Conversations, I and my lovely co-host Jackie share our thoughts and experiences on ageism, first impressions, preconceived notions, and the value of estimating people objectively. So grab a cup of your preferred beverage and let's settle in for an hour of self-archeology!
  22. Darius
    Even though almost all responses to my yesterday's article "How NOT to Raise a Boy to Respect Women, Himself, or Anybody" were positive, I got a few negative ones. Here's my response to one of them in a form of an article: "You're Judgemental and Bad" – A Response to Common Criticism.
  23. Darius
    My newest article on how NOT to raise a boy to respect women, himself, of anybody: http://blog.selfarcheology.com/2016/01/how-not-to-raise-boy-to-respect-women.html
  24. Darius
    It's fine. It just was confusing and distracting, so I wasn't sure of your intended purpose behind it. Cheers, DCLuigi!
  25. Darius
    Anuojat, it is very unfortunate that the vile actions of those violent human beings who commits such acts affect you so negatively. It's definitely upsetting and sometimes scary that there is still so much violence and cruelty in the world, especially if you live in places where this is happening. I wonder what could you to do to feel more safety and security in the situation you are in at the moment...? DCLuigi, I'm not quite sure how to interpret your response. Out of curiosity, I tried watching the video but didn't find it funny personally, although perhaps some people might (as do you). So I wonder what is your message behind it, and the questions that come up for me are those: Does he feel that self-harm, self-attack, and a lack of self-care are not a serious issues? (Even though for so many people they are, therefore making fun of it is not funny at least in that regard.) Is this how he perceives me? (Which is fine if he does, as people like that are not my audience anyway.) Is it that he feels emotionally unpleasant and wants to distract himself and possibly others? (It is definitely a distraction.) And why is he apologizing but then doing the thing anyway? ("I'm sorry for kicking you in the stomach but I'm going to do it anyway"—it's just weird and it demonstrates a lack of care and self-responsibility.)
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