wanderer

You have a problem, but it's a common problem, so take heart! You are taking the reader's interest for granted by dumping a lot of information at the beginning without giving the reader a reason to care. Dialog is generally a good way to bring a reader in, but here we only have a monologue so there's not even tension between two talkers to get us going. It appears there's another participant, but (s)he's silent so it's just frustrating. Try to think of another way entirely of opening this. Don't tell me all about all the characters: I don't care, trust me. Maybe some action? ========= Josah Huff spit on the ground and looked over at the girl (boy). "I ain't talkin' to ya as the sheriff now, this is just some words from a guy that's been around 58 years and seen enough to know what's goin' on, K? I for sure don't know everything, but I can tell ya that Flint Coal kid ain't worth a shit." "But I like him!" she said. "I know you does, that's why I'm tellin' you this." ========= Now you've got some tension and you've got my interest. Gradually drop in all the other backstory as the dialogue proceeds. See what I mean?

I'm what some people call a "PT", which stands for "perpetual traveler" or "perpetual tourist" or what have you. I'm also seemingly addicted to writing, and I now have two novels out, the most recent of which is a dystopian/utopian tale of the collapse of the United States and what happened thereafter. The title is The Dropouts. The subtitle is America Died and Nobody Cared. Elements of the main plot were heavily inspired by Stefan Molyneux's works here on this site. You can read it on your computer for free on Authonomy at http://bit.ly/1580ByF or, if you want to carry it around in your Kindle you can find it at http://amzn.to/14LsYaxf. I'm told it will soon be available in paperback, but it isn't today. Maybe by the time you read this it will. If the old style physical book is what you enjoy, try Amazon and search the title. Reader reactions are of course always good to see. If you go to Authonomy you'll see a place for you to rate it and leave comments right there. I hope to get to know you better as time goes on. Paul