Three

Most excellent composition, I've never heard of the guy before.I've been listening to this Dj. It reminds me of the stuff they use to play on Toonami.

Man, that was really good. I also had a very strong reaction to this movie, especially the "let it Go" sequence. My initial thoughts about the song were, "Man, this describes what it's like getting corrupt people out of your life beautifully." Being alone and away from people who attack you for the first time is something worth celebrating. The creative power of the unconscious unleashes like elsa's ice fractals and old fears subside. The interpretation of the wolfs, of the Olaf being a child, Anna the false self, it all ties in quite nicely and makes sense. I also like how concise it was. Everything was significant. I might re-write my review so that in a similar style. How did you learn to interpret films? I would love any pointers or advice. The film Tangled had a very strong impact on me and I'm actually writing a review on it now. I posted the unfinished portion in the philosopher king forum.

I'm starting to think now that it was a mistake to say that the shame was "mine." I carry the shame of my parents, their parents and I carried the shame of my ex roommate, who I had known since childhood. Shame was inflicted on me. I, with humility towards my flaws, am awesome .

You're welcome and thank you. It was really difficult for me to post that, particularly the second one.

I just had a thought. Stef said something is a recent all in show to the effect of "we don't pick individuals to date. we pick tribes everyone we pick comes with a family and a history. Some people only want to focus on things like tits though in an attempt to carve them off from their tribe, to make the the other person more fuckable. this is why affairs are so delicious to people."Maybe at some level I prefered cheating when I was younger was because the model of a monogomous marriage that was presented to me was so horrying and gross, that I said on some level "screw that". Or maybe my dad regretted being married to my mom and so said "screw this" cheated on her and the reason I followed his footsteps is because I identified with him?

With curiosity. And reassure that part that I can be a good friend as well.

I think it said, "I wish I had a friend like that.."

I thought it was very pretty. Sometimes, I focus too much on trivial things.. This poem felt like a reminder of what's really important. I felt sad while listening as well and I'm not sure why. Was that written for you?

Ivan, do you think you could share the podcast with me? I'd like to listen to it.

Kevin, when you said "wanting to be desired", that had some resonance with me. I remember feeling guilty when I cheated too. that's a very interesting question and I had never thought to ask that before. I do remember finding it extraordinarily difficult to be honest.Tyler, I can relate to what you said about the downward spiral. Cheating is never something to feel proud of. I never felt like I viewed by partners as superior. Some I viewed as inferior. But, I suppose choosing people who I could feel superior by rather than equal would indicate insecurity. Interesting, I appreciate everyone's feedback. Although, I didn't find the feedback as helpful as I would have liked. Thank you anyways, though.

I'm not really sure if I can help, but i'm interested to learn more about those residual feelings of discomfort. so, you experience more than one feeling? What's that like? Where do you experience it in your body? Is it more than just irritated?

I appreciate your feedback and would be happy to skype one day, but not now because i only have internet access via public places. Looking back on some posts I've made, I think I was looking for reassurance and it's possible that I was doing that here too, but I don't feel that way. When I made this post I wasn't anxious and didn't feel like a great sense of urgency that usually is coupled with managing one's anxiety. In fact, I felt quite calm and happy. I do think you're right in saying that there is no external solution to the problem of insecurity. I still have a long way to go, but I've actually made great progress since I posted this in December.

I just listened to the podcast yesterday and found it very helpful. Thank you so much for sharing.

I think that's fantastic, man. I really wanted to express my sympathies because I also used to be a lot more anxious. My anxiety levels reached excruciating levels 4 years ago and with it I began to experience a number of strange sensations that were very scary to me. I would experience, sweaty palms, numb hands, painful heart burns, flushed face, numb hands, flu like symptoms, distorted vision, as well as psychological sensations like derealization, which created a perpetual feeling of unreality like i was in a dream, and depersonalization. I felt like I was going mad. You might be able to relate to this, eventually it became a vicious cycle. I would feel anxious, the anxiety created an unpleasant sensation, that sensation would scare me, which would create scary thoughts, which would create more anxiety, which would create more sensations and so on.The most success I've had in breaking that cycle and am continuing to have is from doing what you are describing, re-parenting yourself by learning to be self accepting and curious. I even have similar internal dialogues with myself that your having. It doesn't help that when we're anxious we also have been programmed by our parents to repress our emotions or to tell them to go away, even unconsciously. It's like an unstoppable force colliding like comet into an immovable object in our mind and body. Anyways, I am really glad to hear about your progress. I had a minor success story today with overcoming my anxiety and being assertive. A manager bumped in to be playfully to move me out of the way. This made me mad, especially since I was going through unpleasant caffeine withdrawals, so I said "don't do that." The started talking to a customer, so he didn't reply but later me mentioned by saying "oh Joel was getting all bad with me, I was just playing". "I know you were just playing, I still don't like it", and walked about because him and an employee just started laughing, however nervously. The manager then came up to me noticably uncomfortable with my reaction and in a kind of whiney way "oh come on, I was just playing. I would have laughed if you did it to me. Come on."I just said, "okay man, you got me" and he walked away, and I'm glad because that was very irritating.

@dsayers. Hey, man. I think you're right in saying that the important thing is for the child to see the abuse being called into question. Sometimes I am self critical afterwards about my approach, so it's good to get that kind of feedback. @Nathan. Man, I know exactly what you mean about preparing yourself. It's gotten to the point where I often ask myself those questions when I go into crowded public places like Wal-Mart. I've had similar instances happen like the one you just described where I here a child yell and then mentally prepare myself.

I want to share my 4th and 5th child abuse intervention to hopefully inspire and to encourage others to do the same, to work through my thoughts and feelings of what occurred, and to request any feedback. The first example was at the laundromat. While my clothes were being washed I decided to go outside and listen to a podcast in my car. It didn't take long for me to get impatient, I hate the laundromat, so I stopped what I was doing to see if they were finished. I got to my washing machine to find that my clothes were still spinning away. However, this turned out to be the least of my trouble. Next me was a young African american woman with her son who looked barely two and was, as is natural for children, highly curious about his environment. He stared with an astonished gaze at the spinning clothes inside what I imagined to him looked to be be an amazing wonder of a machine. Indeed, I can imagine since I can remember how incredible these machines were to me when my mother would take me. But anyways, my trouble wasn't the child's curiosity. It was the mother's annoying insistence that the boy be still and stay by her. Eventually, this insistence went from annoying to hostile. When the boy touched my laundry basket the mother angrily snapped and said "don't touch, that's not yours!", smacked him on his little hands and pulled him to her side. My heart began pounding and thoughts went something like 'Jesus Christ, it's everywhere. I hate being a philosopher sometimes. I really do. Do I say anything? Eh, fuck it. Values.'"Miss, I don't think you should hit your kid", I told her as gently as I could. It wasn't the content of her response, but rather the form that really surprised me. She countered with "I discipline my child." However, she didn't yell. She didn't minimize her action by arguing with me that "it was only a light, smack. It wasn't hitting". Her words seemed to evaporate as soon as they left her mouth. Like they carried no weight. It was like she really didn't believe what she was saying and that she knew deep down that what she did was wrong. It almost sounded depressing and the expression on her face looked depressed and ashamed. It was like all of the magical power of euphemism 'discipline' simply vanished and that she knew deep down what she had really just told me was "I abuse my kids." In the second example I saw a man screaming as his little girl in the parking lot and his wife standing back doing nothing. I walked up to them and asked if everything was okay? The man ignored me and kept walking. The woman nodded to me that everything was fine. She looked terrified as if she knew that she would 'get it' too if the man heard her actually say something to me. The man turned around, squat down and loudly lectured his child again. I got in front of him and spoke to him directly, "is everything, okay?" He was a white male who had a 'scrappy doo, joe pesci-like character about him. He was shorter, had a new yorker kind of accent and a high pitched voice. This description might make him out to be a joke, but I was actually quite terrified. I was afraid of things escalating into a shouting match or physical violence. Plus, I am by nature extremely gentle and had to disown the more angry, aggressive aspects of my personality as a child to survive since I lived with very aggressive parents, so these things are really difficult for me.The man mocked me, "what do you mean 'is everything all right? Yeah, now get out of me face and mind your own business. Kids need discipline ' "Once again that euphemism was used. I'm going to remember next time to counter that he's just saying abuse. "I don't think it's right for you to yell at your child", I repeated myself"yeah, well I'm about to yell at you if you don't mind your own business", he countered"Well, I don't want to expose your child to that", I told him and walked away."yeah, well, go save the world somewhere else!" he said to me as I left. I wanted to have the last word so I turned my head and exclaimed "I'd rather do it here."

I was wondering if anyone had insight or knew of any sources of information about this topic? I have a history of cheating on women or choosing partners who cheat on me. My father cheated on my mother twice as far as I know. My initial thoughts are that is a way to act out unprocessed feelings of aggression and hatred towards the parent of the opposite sex, to normalize the behavior of the other parent or to restore one's sense on self efficacy who has been deeply humiliated. There are obviously many ways in which a person can be aggressive and abusive towards his or her romantic partner. But why do some people choose infidelity specifically and others don't?

I went through a phase where fiction just didn't satiate my appetite for wonder or stimulate my analytical side like non fiction. With non- fiction, the kind where not only facts are presented like a text book, but arguments are being made, I felt more involved. Like the material was not only interesting, but that I was partaking in a challenging game to figure out what was true or false. However, the more I've learned about psychology, dream analysis, and subliminal communication, I've found films to be more interesting than ever. Some questions that I ask myself while watching films are "I wonder what the implicit argument is in this film, I wonder what the art says about the creators childhood, I wonder what metaphores and symbols are subliminally being communicated as I'm watching?"So, now I look at films as just formalized dreams. Not only that, but recently I've been watching films with the commentary tracks on to find out what the creative team was thinking during production as well as how they achieved some of the technical aspects of making the film.

Hey, Nigel. I would define absolute as fixed and universal, meaning it's true everywhere at any time. However, I now think that it was redundant for me to include the word absolute because facts by definition are fixed and universal.Was that or my prior post helpful?I'm curious as to what piqued your interest in this topic?

I found these videos interesting.

The moment someone says that you cannot make absolute statements of fact about the future, they are making an absolute statement of fact about the future.

@ gianoliYes, I was indeed neglected and I had pitifully little guidance or mentoring. In my early years I think my sister had more pressure to perform, but when she psychologically collapsed into pill addiction after a series of horrific traumatic events, such as being raped at a party, that role was implicitly moved to me in my later teen years. As a young child, I was the "under-achiever", fullfilling my mom's expectation that I "never do more than I have too" by never striving to be more than an A-/ B student, never taking on any extra responsibilities through extra hobbies and by only playing video games, watching tv and gaining weight by eating double stuffed oreos everyday after school. I don't really know how to post video's either :/. I've done it before but on accident. Also, I'm not sure why some people have trouble telling lies to others. I an tell you that I have a history of lying to women by pretending to be interested in them when I am not only to have sex with them. I also have been unfaithful in relationships. A possible reason that comes to my mind which might be relevant for this example is the same reason a fourty year old man who has been inadequately adored and affirmed as a child has multiple affairs, to make up for that deficiency. When I look back at my history of being humiliated and unloved by the women around me, I think that using women served a similar purpose to me. Reality distortion is usually a symptom of psychological wounds too, which is often portrayed in the statement "I'm not addicted, I an stop a any time" by alcoholics. In that example they are not lying to others, but rather themselves, but the reason for this is due to being traumatized as a child. Perhaps these men, while they do feel sure about their abilities in interacting with people, are also using their skills as a way to act out and seek validation as well. Because you'd think that the reason for becoming confident and to stop worrying about insecurities is to enable to you find great relationships. However, what these men are doing is going up to complete strangers and asking to kiss them. What's the point of getting over your insecurities if that's what you what to do with those skills? It's like learning leadership skills and expert debating and communication skills not to get a great career, a raise or promotion but to convince the lady who's taking your order at a fast food joint to give you a free large soda. So, being sure about your abilities to interact with strangers, which seems to be what women emphasize, is not the same has having self love because you are sure that you are a virtuous person. Although, I associate the two. I associate the way he interacts with people as self esteem, maybe because when my self esteem was low it manifested itself in fear of others.

This is taken from a journal entry I made the other day and I thought it might be of interest to share. At the moment I'm looking for an extra job to get a little extra cash. I only have an Associates Degree and I have no skills so, finding a job that isn't retail or to do with food is difficult. Especially, since I'm an aspiring to be a philosopher, I really don't want to anything less fulfilling. Yesterday was very interesting. I felt depressed again. So much so that I decided not to fill out any applications. On my way home today, I experienced that feeling of depression again when I started to think about filling out applications. That part of me showed me an image of myself. I looked like an awkward loser making a sandwich, wearing a goofy looking uniform. I think that part of me was saying "Sandwiches? come on, your gonna get a job making sandwiches? You're better than that. I mean you're a 23 year old man for christs sake. Kids your age should be either in school, getting a degree for a good career or already working a decent job by now "So, it would seem like there's a part of me that strongly identifies with societal norms around this question of career. Or success. It was at this point I decided to have an internal dialogue with that part. part 1: What do you expect to get out of having a great career? Surely, getting a career to void a negative, to avoid being a "loser", is not the best reason. It is especially not motivated.Part 2: "I feel sad"Part 1: It also sounds really stressful, you know? Filling out job applications, going to interviews, making resume's. That takes a lot of time and energy. Not to mention the additional time and energy spent one you get the job. Part 2: "I just don't want to be made fun of"Part 1: Tell me a little more about that? You know, to breathe is to be made fun of. We have no ontrol over that. If somebody made fun of the things about you such as, your love of philosophy, you might be a mad, but you wouldn't stop accepting that initiating force to prevent ridicule from others. You would probably think, "eh, screw you." But, there's something that really stings when you think about this issue of a career. Like it means something about your character if you aren't wearing a suit. And so maybe it's not that you fear others thinking that you are a loser, you are afraid of feeling like a loser. Or that you have no value. Like you are worthless. Like you are unfulfilled. Do you think that getting a girlfriend to avoid feeling worthless is a positive reason to get a girlfriend?Part 2: "no"Part 1: do you think that getting a fancy are to avoid feeling worthless is a positive reason to get a car? To spend thousands of dollars? Part 2:"no"Part 1: I appreciate your concern and I share this concern. I don't want us to feel worthless, or to be losers either, but I don't think that rushing out and getting an unfulfilling and boring job is the way to do it. That would only confirm that you needed these external things to feel confident. Also, getting a sandwich making job temporarily to make a little extra cash wouldn't indicate that you are a loser anymore than making a sandwich to put in your lunchbox. All that is happening in the real world is that you'll be putting a piece of meat in between 2 pieces of bread and handing it to someone. Would you all Stef or Jeffrey Tucker or Richard Dawkins if you saw either one of them behind the counter of a deli making sandwiches, would you all them losers? What if they told you that they were working there because they needed extra money? Part 2: "No, I wouldn't all them losers"Part 1: One again, I know your just trying to protect me the best way you know how to. But, do you think you could consider this alternative, please?

Thank you so much for sharing that with me. I really look forward to the day when I'm that comfortable in my own skin. I felt really happy and inspired while watching.

I actually sat down with my parents at ihop last year and told them how I felt about the screaming. They didn't raise their voices at all during that interaction. They were quite gentle compared to how they've treated me in private. So, they can refrain from abuse when they really want to.