cynicist

Indeed. I know when I'm apologized to I never take it at face value. I'm looking for evidence that the other person actually understands what bothered me and why at the very least. 'Actions speak louder than words' is a helpful idiom, let's examine it in practical terms here: The action itself (To what degree were you wronged? Is it forgivable? How preventable is it?) Their behavior following the incident (How quickly do they figure it out? Do they realize it on their own or only after being shamed by others? Once they know, do they pretend it didn't happen? How long do they take to get back to you?) The apology (Is there any indication of understanding? If there is more than one issue, do they recognize them all or just the ones you point out? If they get it, is there suitable restitution offered? Is there defensiveness or an excuse? Are they acting out similar behavior in the apology? (ex. passive-aggression)) Their behavior after the apology (Has it changed? Are they bitter? What preventative steps have they taken? (ex. therapy, counting to 10, etc)) Clearly this isn't an exhaustive list but it's what comes to mind for me right now.

If you had consent you wouldn't need coercion. I know you are trying to avoid going into specifics but in the example you gave in your first post, how do you know that they simply haven't changed their mind? Unless the situation is life-threatening or there is a high risk of physical harm you can't say you are acting in defense of the other person by using force to stop them. Is the abuse that bad?

Be careful... "It must have been horrible!" is not equivalent to "What I did to you was horrible". That said I hope you get a chance to really talk about this stuff now that she seems open to it.

It's on my list now, thanks for mentioning it. I'll report back if it's any good or not. Edit: It's not bad, there's plenty of info packed into an hour long movie. Seeing Woody Harrelson talking about Libertarian issues was surreal... It's geared towards people who are not already familiar with Libertarianism and focuses mostly on the evils of corporate fascism. There is a bit on money printing too but they highlight the Federal Reserve being a 'private' institution and how much influence a few rich people have behind what happens in government.

I'm not surprised that you aren't getting anywhere. This is my opinion but I don't see how you could be emotionally connected and deeply explore someone's personal issues eight times a day with different people. That would be exhausting. Either he is on the verge of burning out or he is not really that involved in each session. (Are you sure it's really 8/day?)

Yeah it seems as though they think that discovering the truth about god and being in the small minority of people who have rational conclusions in this area, somehow translates to them being rational in ALL areas. (like an extension of the superiority they feel towards those trapped in religious thinking) It is annoyingly common and I think it's where the 'smug atheist' meme derives from.

I really don't think it's a large benefit. There is no doubt that it is important to be able to communicate with those that know Chinese due to their status as a growing economic power, but don't forget the opportunity cost you are taking when learning the language. It is harder to pick up than European languages due to things like the importance of tone, so it may be more effective to pay for translation instead so you can focus on providing economic benefit in ways you might be better at or more interested in. (and don't forget that language translation software is always improving and making it less important every year) I don't think anyone would take issue with the argument that learning written and spoken Chinese takes a significant amount of time and dedication (for a native English speaker) and that the skill requires consistent use to retain proficiency. Unless you are planning to live in China or interact in Chinese on a daily basis it's not a good use of your time.

Wearing a uniform isn't an act of aggression itself and preemptively attacking someone because you think they are going to attack you or someone else in the future is not self-defense. Yes, self-defense against the aggression of a cop is justifiable from a moral standpoint, but is it sane in today's world? No, and anyone who advocates it is putting others in danger and making the movement look crazy to those who think police have a vital role in society. Simply put, there is nothing productive or noble about getting yourself killed in a suicide-by-cop situation. You are just putting an abstract principle above your own survival. What? The reason I wouldn't kill someone who slaps me is because it's not a commensurate use of force... Does a slap mean that someone is trying to take your life? Absolutely not. (If that was their intent then they would be acting differently) So shooting them is not self-defense. The reason ethics is so complicated is that the circumstances matter. (things like avoidability or degree) There is a right to defend yourself but that doesn't extend to, for example, blowing your wife away if she slaps you out of anger... and the fact that your post is getting upvoted is scary to me.

I'd say this indicates a lack of empathy on the part of others. I used to play a particular online game with friends and we would get together and talk strategy. The minute someone who didn't play joined the conversation I would shift it to something that they could relate to, knowing how frustrated/bored they would feel otherwise. If my friends tried to keep talking about the niche thing while someone who didn't understand was present I would feel distinctly uncomfortable continuing.... that is unless we decided to try and explain it in laymans terms or focus on some small aspect the other person would appreciate. For example, if we're talking about programming and a non-programmer joins the conversation but has a blog or something, I might bridge the gap by asking about their experience working with that blog software and what they might wish was improved. I don't think this is limited to trivialities like sports/games. Any interest of yours could be considered boring by another person, and it indicates empathy to recognize when that happens and change the topic to something that you both find joy in. If you share no common interests, then what would keep you talking to them?

Seems as though you enjoy the dark, since you just keep burying yourself deeper...

No it wouldn't. This is just a way for you to guilt yourself over leaving.

If you can opt out then it's not a tax. Here you've described basically how any business works but then called it a 'state'. Which is it? There is no way to reconcile the state with voluntarism because they are opposites, just as force and voluntary participation are opposites. Nations and countries are abstractions that do not exist in the real world so they cannot be property and people cannot serve them. It sounds like your fears are mostly around abuse of power/corruption coming from private entities, but do you really think things could get worse than police murdering people or federal employees being paid to surf the internet and do laundry? (while their bosses cover for them)

Welcome Jeffrey! I also spent a lot of time lurking before finally joining the boards, and understand the feeling of anxiety around most of what passes for a civilized society these days. I hope your stay here is more pleasant, and I for one will refrain from biting for the time being

Why do you think everyone let you take on a role that you didn't even understand?

It's interesting that you view it as having stolen something. My perspective has always been that if you are given something then it's nice to reciprocate, so 'giving back to your community' to me would just mean 'please reciprocate'. It's funny because he makes it clear he is talking about the guilt-ridden societal context of the phrase, and yet my first thought after reading the title and opening sentence is that he was talking about the FDR community. It then further surprised me that he didn't acknowledge any other use for the phrase...

I don't have any specific advice, but I want to point out that you have good reason to be concerned. If, in this relationship with her 'friend', she is 'supporting' her by enabling bad decisions and being around her due to a feeling of obligation rather than genuine pleasure, what is that going to mean in your relationship? Will she enable your bad decisions rather than have your back? Is she going to manipulate and resent you? Unless there is some heavy intervention and introspection on her part, I don't see why your relationship with her would be any different.

Why? If it's not convenience, what other reason would there be for the rep system?

Another thing to consider is that people who are voting are doing so in order to avoid typing their disagreement, and that making their names known would lead to them being called out in the forums and in messages to explain their reasons, which would defeat the purpose of having it in the first place. (as a convenient way to express yourself)

Edit: There was a response here, but it has gone into hiding.

I wouldn't mind having my name attached to my votes. It would probably lead to flames like Kevin mentioned but there is a chance to provoke some interesting discussion there too.

What's your point?

You may learn better in college but it's completely unnecessary for a 'proper education'. Especially for someone with passion/motivation. My brother is currently obtaining a comp sci degree and I've learned more in a few months than he was taught in years. All the information required to learn how to program is available on the internet and for free, it just takes time to learn it.

I'm not an artist so no critique from me but I really like the flowers and their gradient petals. It reminds me of a really clean style of tagging like a friend of mine would do. I like the swan too, but I wish the pictures were higher resolution. I don't think you'll have any trouble selling your work if that's what you were wondering. Oooh! The one Saari linked above with the roots/sky is great. If I wasn't so creeped out by the person rooted to the ground I'd want it on a shirt or desktop background. (I get/like the meaning though)

This is contradictory. (and no I didn't downvote you, I actually agree that hypocrisy happens even in this holy place)