MysterionMuffles

What did you to find out his identity and why is it so important thaty ou meet? Also, sorry that you've been abandoned...so do not feel like you are bringing a burden to his life. The burden was put upon you when he walked out on you and your mother. Unless of course, my harshness is meaningless if he gave you up to adoption for economical reasons, at which case I am even more sorry about. Have you talked to your mother about this? How does she feel about this? Or well...provide some more information if you can about this.

I dare one of you guys to oppose that in the comments section below.

This is on WIKI-HOW?! Jeez...the opening line is already unsettling. That Ideal world won't be if you promote this crap on a widely used how to site! It is incredibly disturbing how the can normalize this as NOT abuse and a way to PREVENT abuse. That's like wearing a condom when you rape a woman. I can't even begin to bring my self to read the whole article, but I'll trudge through it and then watch your interview. Just to contrast and compare the logic. Anyone else feel compelled to edit the hell out of this article? Just delete all their "hard work" in promoting child abuse and just write in a big font "JUST DON'T DO IT YOU HEARTLESS KUNT!"

Hey no problem. It was very educational for me, helped me look at my own age-gap relationship in the past with a new perspective. So thank YOU too, for exuding some serious integrity in such a situation!

It's a self defeating argument because the fact that the welfare state even exists is PROOF that people want to take care of the poor. Hence people voted for the representative that has the system of welfare in place. Unless of course every party promotes it then Im talking out of my ass. If not though, that is proof. But if you provide that proof to someone, they'll then say "oh so see the government IS good to have." Not neccessarily. Welfare creates that permanent under class because people just suck up the money of all the other harder working citizens. If there were to be a voluntary welfare (it'll probably have a different name of course), it would be in a more concentrated area. A charity can ask people in a certain area to help out the less fortunate IF they want, but most people won't give that much charity for too long because the whole point of doing it in a free society, as I would guess, is to support the poor WHILE they improve their skills and find work.

Ok I guess I won't send the letter after all lol I guess I should just cut my ties with her and move on right? Like what does it matter if she understands me or not, I could care less for her opinion anymore.

My inner-critic just says the same thing about me taking this approach of getting in touch with one of my parts. It doesn't know it's a part and thinks it has all monopoly over my consciousness. It would just say that it's weird to think there's a multiplicity of personalities living within you, and that YOU're weird for having to have made a video about meeting your inner-daughter. I have an inner-girlfriend, and my inner-critic says that this IFS thing is just a way to alleviate the feeling of loneliness. You know by thinking you have all these other people living inside of you, you don't have much use to interact with anyone else, or at least just not as much as you would within yourself through the IFS method. It also says that having other parts is just a way to fill a void, but I don't disagree with that. And that's not a bad thing anyway. Like you said at the end of your video, the inner-daughter's sassiness and badassery were parts of you that you haven't exuded well enough til becoming aware of them. Likewise with my inner-girlfriend, the dialogues I have with her is reshaping who I would really want to be if I got into a romantic relationship. Because boy...if I try any of the old stuff I used to do with my actual exgirlfriends, the inner-girlfriend comes at me with unwieldy ferocity. As I write this, I recognize that my inner critic has been just judgemental of friends or family that seemed a bit off when I was younger, and although it has filled its role in that sense, it seems to want more reason to judge...even if it doesn't have to anymore. I suppose that's a part of me to explore and mend so that it can be a better protector overall. You can read more about that in my Flirting and the NAP thread if you'd like.

Touching story and dream, I appreciate your vulnerability. I also enjoy the humour at the beginning of the video with the guido antics and Martin Luther King joke lol. That must have been an intense dream to have, and possibly a milestone in your life. Seems like a good addition to your psyche, to have that inner daughter! I can't even imagine what kind of dialogues you have with her. Right now my inner-critic is thinking that it's weird I say that, and even weirder that you chose to talk about this. Or not so much the choice, rather the content itself like "are you so mental or alone?" But no, I get ya. IFS looks like it is very useful to you and possibly others, hey even me since I can sense some of my constant scepticism towards IFS. That's just being overly self-conscious of course, so anyway. I really loved that idea of your inner-daughter having a room of her own. It's like a continuous journey for her to grow at such an accelerating rate because of how much you're nurtured her, and by proxy yourself. That was a sign of independance, and oh man, you just reminded me I've had that video of Fred Rogers talking at congress favourited on Youtube for so long, it's time that I check it out now. He sounds like a great man if he was able to touch the heart of a beuracrat lol. Another cool part was when you inner-daughter said, "I want the world to be my room now." So it's like...spending all that time in a safe and cozy place with an adult who is a good influence with children such as Mr. Rogers, it was all preparation to be intimate and feel safe with the world at large. For you to have made this video was a way of her stepping out into the world and influence you to become more open on the internetz beyond the insightful texts you've posted here in the forum and chatroom. Great video man!

Oh cool, so I'm not the only nut who's walked around talking to himself aloud Hearing it back is a trip. Can't believe how each subject flowed into the others through tangents and stuff.

Essentially, nostalgia is clinging to the past. It's an F you to your present. I can't say whether or not you should sell off your entire collections or at least sections of it, but try to weigh out what matters more to you. Being able to see these things with relief that you had a childhood full of great entertainment, thus clinging to those better times, or doing yourself a service in getting some coin to get the things you need now. Food and shelter. I would suggest going through that stuff and keep a few things you know you will induldge in again and actively choose what you know is simply nostalgia and wont stand the test of time. It took me a while to depart with my old Nintendo Power magazines. I had a box full but I tossed it away because I don't need to read any news about games that were going to be released from...more than a decade ago, almost two. Yikes I feel old lol. I also used to have a binder full of shitty drawings of mine and even shittier stories I wrote (eventually I got better at writing while my drawing always stayed crappy) and out of a whim I tossed that out too. I didn't know what use it had anymore but to look at how far I've gone. Even without that binder though, I can still look back at stuff I wrote from even last year and feel nostalgic about how far I've gone. I don't know what point I wanted to get here but basically you gotta be able to let go of this stuff. It keeps you enslaved to the past. Unless you really need the money right here and now, I'd say hold onto it all and just try to find a job. However, if your financial situation is very dire, I would not hesitate to get rid of stuff I know I won't look at or play anymore ever again.

it's up to you man. Is finding a job hard where you are and will it take a while to get hired or interviewed? It's tough to depart from the stuff you loved collecting, but what use WILL they have if not to generate more value in order to sell them in the first place?

Yeah good stuff Sasha. It is actually harder to journal than it seems. Especially if you want to be completely honest and uncensored in your delivery. Glad you've been improving. I find that the frustrating things end up being the longer entries, but once in a while it's good to put some good words of inspiration. In fact I started with spamming positive thoughts no matter how crappy my days were. In a way it was self denial but it did help me improve my mindset. I wanted to become the guy I wrote like, and then I was finally able to write honestly to my self. Now there's a good balance. I feel like who I truly am is on the page now, regardless of positvity or negativity. I don't like typing journals, it's almost as sporadic as audio journalling. Too many tangents. Being stuck with word by word in long hand continuously reminds you what should be next rather than go on a free for all of random thoughts.

Yeah it's no big deal. I'm an atheist and went to my neice's baptismal, and I'm even her God father now because of it. You can think of me as the Atheist God Father lol. But anyways, you don't have to pray along with them they won't notice. And whatever rituals they ask you to take part in, if any, just do them as they are to honour your cousin's death and not an attack on your beliefs.

Thanks again for this video. It really helped me to become a centered adult when it came to babysitting my neice. In my journalling, I found out that there was a part of me that was using her as manifestation of my inner-child and although it was theraputic for me in a way, it kind of got her to disconnect from me a little bit. When I recognized her unique individuality and separate from me, surprisingly enough that's when I've become truly connected with her. So the babysitting day has been more productive and less depressing in the sense that I was looking to for to fill one of my voids. This is partly thanks to my own discoveries in conjunction with this video that happened to come along the right time.

well as long as the other forum isn't an anti-FDR one you're good lol. If it's Zeitgeist, that's acceptable as you are smart enough to be open between both ideas. Welcome to the forum and I also like the idea of being accepted over a sense of belonging. I'm not sure if I agree with that idea, I feel like I truly belong here because I'm accepted, but eh I would like for you to make the distinction more if you can. Sounds interesting. I don't think I'm owned by anyone if I belong somewhere, it's just that I feel like I'm at a safe place like you desire, but if you can elaborate on that that would be great.

I agree it's kinda shitty how her plagarism is either implicit or explicit, just nonetheless plagarism. But that doesn't affect her parenting philosophy and how effective it could be. Her kids seem to be really well off with her parenting, as they make more money than most adults with their independant business ventures. (I believe it's Tiffany who has a pet sitting business while Devon makes clothing, and now he's also moved on to blacksmithery) Not to mention all the testimonials from people who have consulted with her. I wouldn't try to make you examine why you might be attracted to this narrative, Rayne, you seem to know already. I would just suggest you look at it deeper, and see what else about it that you think you can gain from it by keeping up with it. If you want to unschool or homeschool, but are sceptical about the different approaches, Dayna's in particular, that's good. You should be. Keeps you open for more options.

Yeah I love Netflix and all, but the choice seems limitted. Indie films are even harder to get a hold off. I guess it would be easier for me to have had downloaded The East, put it on a USB with even more movies to share and watch with others. But I actually bought the Blu-ray from an electronics store and got in the mail the day before its release. (Hooray for pre-orders!) I don't know why I enjoy having that Blu-Ray disc. Me loving the movie and thinking it's highly rewatchable has no bearing on why I should even have the physical copy, but I do.

I'm with you 100%. There are many Xboxlive trolls and hatemailers I was able to diffuse by simply becoming empathetic and curious as to why they were unhappy with the way I played or beat them. I am surprised by the change of voice expression and typing method at the end where I got apologies and mutual understanding.

YES that was a huge thing to learn for me. I always wondered if price of items and value of currency was just arbitrary. That conversation cleared some things up for me and confirmed much more of what I already thought.

Hey guys, I was wondering what your thoughts would be on this final goodbye letter I'm planning to write to this woman I've spent a lot of time with this year. The briefest summary I can surmise is that this a woman I wanted to have a platonic friendship with, but I unfriended due to being lead on, as well as conflicting religious and relationship views. Within the spoiler button is a more detailed account of our backstory if you'd like to know more without having to go to the other threads I posted about this. Below is the letter I want to write to her , but haven't decided on sending yet. I'm wondering if it's worth doing at all or if I should just leave it that: Official in person defriending (that was supposed to be temporary), then removing her from my Facebook list a couple months later. A part of me feels like she deserves an explanation but I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do. Like am I so disposable to her that it won't matter, or she really did value as a friend and she would appreciate the honesty?

I wanted everybody's opinions on this debate ever since Napster came out. I remember more than a decade ago when that first P2P application was available, I went wild downloading music all for free. Back then, as far as I know, there weren't any torrents to easily download a full album so you had to find an album list and download all the songs individually. But if it was a band I really liked and their newest album was leaked, of course I would download it before release date, enjoy the hell out of it, but I would resist burning myself a CD copy. Only when the album really dropped, I would go buy it when HMV was still a good source for getting music (the ones near my town are shrinking thanks to iTunes and piracy). That way I still feelt like I was contributing to the artist, even though they only make a small fraction from album sales. Fast forward to today, between back then and now, I've downloaded many albums for free and enjoyed them all immensley. I am forever grateful for the existence of Youtube, Purevolume, and Bandcamp in particular for helping me find artists that cater to my personal preferences, that I would have never found if I only relied on radio and TV. You know, I can't stand maost mainstream music because I'm such a hipster and all. But yeah, back in my pirating days Arrrghhh I be enjoying this bountiful booty at a five fingar discount, ye scallywag! And always rationed it as, "they don't make much off album sales anyway, and bands get most of their money from performing shows. I shouldn't feel bad, because if they were true artists, they would care more about people simply enjoying their music with all their heart than how much money they would be making." Lately though, I have been finding fresh and new artists who are just coming onto the scene, some of which I am unable to watch live performances of because they live and perform in far off countries. And when it comes to consuming their music, if I couldn't at first find a free downloadable torrent, I would resort to actually paying for their music on iTunes. I love iTunes because it reduces the need for CD's, which for the most part have become unneccessary. Though back in the day I did always enjoy popping one into the stereo or my walkman and read along with the lyrics booklet the first few times. Anyways, yeah it first started as my last resort, but now I really enjoy paying for my music through iTunes or the band's Bandcamp page, especially when they have a name your price option so I can show them how much I value their music. My question: I'm helping only a tiny bit in comparison to the people who truly fund the bands through IndieGoGo campaigns or live shows, but I still like to give value back from which I gain a ton a value from. However, I don't HAVE to be paying squat since digital files don't hold any real value just like a physical CD or vinyl. But I do highly consider the work artists put into refining their craft to deliver me the music I enjoy on a daily basis, and want to give back in any way possible if I can't go to their shows for either laziness and lack of bigger funds, or simply because they only perform in other countries. Am I wasting my money? Or am I driving the market in the right direction? Because I believe that what you buy is a reflection of what you value in the market, and that drives that market to thrive etc etc. Your thoughts?

Lol I don't get what you mean Undelution, could you elaborate?

that article is so poorly written that it can't even be taken with an ounce of seriousness ccuthbert that's really touching to read. I am glad that all your efforts aren't really efforts at all. You're just simply modelling the right behaviour by acting accordingly to your ingrained habits. I love the reading aloud thing, that could work wonders for children's development in reading and reasoning. Especially if you're awake after a book you can discuss what happened in it.

that's my approach to journalling. Write like no one's reading, as those teens should learn how to do. It is rivetting to have an avenue where you don't have to censor yourself and you can let it all out. And even if anyone did read my most darkest secrets, I think I'm building enough integrity to know that I wouldn't care for their judgements on me.

I kinda lost interest in this "feud." Especially if its roots were due to the Wife Swap episode. As far as I know it started becayse Laurette Lynn made a post about the Wife Swap episode being a detrement to unschooling, that it got misrepresented and showed unschooling as a lazy and ineffective way to raise children. I don't know the full details, but if the roots are really due to that episode, then I think the feud between them is a waste of time. I can understand the irritation of having subjugated the Martin kids around that disciplinarian mother, but at least from my perspective, the episode showed unschooling to be a more loving and effective approach to have kids that are simply happy.