MysterionMuffles

Yeah good call, he did sound like Peter Joseph without the arrogance and muddled up terms....eh but then again who would PJ be without that?

Yeah babies are still very fragile at that age, so it may not be safe. Maybe at 10 months, their necks are more in tact and what not. But hey man, welcome to the boards, thank you for being a very cautious and caring parent! We need more like you in the world and it's great that this is one of the first few topics you wanna talk about here. I don't have any solid advice other than just pick him up and hold him, let him know he's loved even for expressing his frustration. Just interact with the lil guy and show empathy, even talk to him in a soothing manner so he learns early on what kind of interactions you want him to be used to when he grows up. Hmm...that video you posted kind of made me uncomfortable. At first I didn't even think that baby was real lol. I dunno...he doesn't seem to enjoy it as much as he should and that is some kind of dangerous way to handle a baby. Not saying that what you're doing is dangerous because I don't know exactly what you do, however in that video, that does not look safe at all. Babies at even one month are so fragile that that kind of shaking can rattle their brains a little bit and literally shake their shit up. I won't get too hard on the maker of the video, but that is an unsafe way to treat a baby of that age. Maybe when they're a bit bigger and can express more easily if they enjoy it or not, then it would be fine. I understand he was supporting the baby's neck throughout the video, but I dunno...some of those shots looked really unsafe to me. ANYWAYS enough of my pacifying hope I helped a bit.

Joel once again, thank you very much for your understanding. I'm sure you know how validating it feels for me to have someone just GET IT like that! I've been thinking about how my mom has influenced my relationships...now it's no wonder to me that I have trouble being assertive with my needs, let alone comfortable with them being there. I've always felt like I would get scorned for having needs, or being seen as weak for expressing them. I'm not sure if I wrote this down already here or in my journal, or if it's just a thought you helped bring out, but yeah...the thing with my friend and his girlfriend could've easily been evaded if my mom just gave me the right advice on a more objective standpoint. Rather than condemning me into this friendzone mentality of "well he's your friend and you should be there for him." Or something to that degree. Basically she made me believe that my route of being there for him more than my self, DESPITE the circumstances, was the right one. Imagine how different that situation would've been if my mom simply told me, "you and this girl seem to like each other, and if your friend doesn't like her back, you should see if you want to be with her instead. Of course ask your friend if it's okay with him, but it sounds like this could be your first girlfriend." Yeah well she wasn't my first girlfriend, rather my first fling spawned from unneccessary conflict. Thanks also for reviving this thread, my original post has some stuff I've yet to explore in my daily journal practice, and with everybody's help here, I'm sure to get a better understanding of it all.

your tags are hilarious chub and bitchstep LOL! whatever effect you put on Stef's voice made him sound even MORE like God.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNjEbPfc2d0 Very interesting video I found on Youtube. Kinda expresses what we all think to some degree.

Hope you enjoy. Yes there is an FDR film club, it's called this forum section and the chat room we talk about films sometimes in the chat if you're ever around there.

It's perpetuating abandon and return psychology. These videos simply have these dads saying, "I'm gonna leave my children for something I think is more important than them; the murder and slaughter of other children overseas. While I'm away, I want my kid(s) missing the shit out of me and wishing they even KNEW who I am and being desparate for my return, for when I do, I get all the love and respect I didn't earn because I've been away on evil business. Plus I want the public to show just how awesome I am as a father for having done this. It looks heroic that I very indirectly protected my children from harm by harming other people overseas. LOOK AT ME, WORLD!!! I love my kid so much to abandon them for a while and use that momentum of missing me against them upon my return!"

This is a clear sign that online friends are proving to be more satisfying than living with that horrible kind of mother. I'm sure even in a peaceful household it's okay to have online friends, granted that they are the safe type of online friends lol. Humans need interaction in any way they can get it, and if they're surrounded by disparity in their physical world, the virtual world makes for a good escape. It's still a real interaction they are talking to real people, whether they know their faces or not. As long as those interactions are also peaceful and helpful like I have here with you guys. Ya'll don't know my first name (some of you do though) and I don't know any of yours unless you've told me or if it's in your username. We've never seen each other in person or heard each other's voices through Skype or anything like that, but an interaction is an interaction.

I think you did a really good job defending your point. But you should never EVER apologize for your passion. I hope so...I hope you at least gave them some doubt about their methods. Also http://www.nospank.net has a 9 page PDF for free, summarizing all the research presented in Stef's video. It would be nice to mass print them and pass 'em around.

The people in the Facebook comments...just...wow. Really stupid. Especially the first one saying that they'd rather be at work and a boring meeting than listen to a simple 20 minute presentation talking about the effects of spanking. That Daniel guy sounds like a real douche. I love how he really believes the non-spanked kids are the ones who scream in restaurants and...ooooh it's been a long day. Don't know if I want to rant right now.

I would like to know how your lunch date went with her if you don't mind PMing me. I'm interested to see how well you handled it if this is the good news you're giving us. Hm...I think I know exactly where you're coming from. If I didn't mention already, I did date a girl 3 years younger than me in high school and I had that feeling of wanting to guide her because of her inexperience. That's one aspect that comes to age gap relationships if the gap is huge I suppose. It's like trying to compensate for something missing in terms of parental guidance or something. I can't quite explain it right now.

Yep! LOL ribuck, yeah I can see a problem with that. It would be like the episode Lisa Simpson turned vegetarian.

Well I'll be damned.

Lol they have a disclaimer at the load up screen that the game is made by people of varying religious and political beliefs...............so yes closetted anarchists and atheists.

Written and directed by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Don Jon is about a porn addict who falls in love with a woman who's addicted to romance movies. For his first effort at writing a movie, I think JGL did a tremendous job at creating this epic film! And when I say epic, it has nothing to do with wild car chases or explosions, I mean it is epic on the personal scale. Even though Don can take home any woman he wants and have copious amounts of sex, the real thing just doesn't add up to porn. It is that lack of meaning in his interactions that he begins to thrive for and he finally finds and dates this woman who just so happens to be addicted to romance films. This unlikely pair and their relationship illustrates just how diminishing people's rationality really is when they are exposed to two art forms that distort their reality on sex and romance. Through this, Don, I think, goes through one of the best self knowledge journeys in recent cinema. So not only is the writing solid because of its vulnerability and philosophical truth about sexual behaviour, but the directing also has a strong emphasis on repetition and rituals. Very often, you will see Don repeat the cycle of: bring a woman home, watch porn when she falls asleep, do his bed in the morning, go to the gym where he recites prayers for breaths between reps, and most importantly; goes to church on the weekend. It's a minor spoiler, but he goes to the confession booth every Sunday to confess about having sex out of wedlock and having watched porn and masturbated 30+ times during that week. Whatever the number is, the priest will always give him an X amount of prayers to say, and for a while Don just thinks that's all it takes to quell his inner battle. Eventually of course, he discovers the fallacy of this rinse and repeat cycle, and learns more about what it takes to have a genuine relationship with women. It's an independant film so I don't know if it's in every possible theatre (AS IT SHOULD), but if you can catch this flick, I highly reccomend it. Check out the trailer right here!

Dayna does say that unschooling is not for everyone and especially not for the lazy parent. So whoever is bad mouthing her on that aspect probably just inherently sucks at parenting or just can't handle unschooling. As for the plagariasm, I dunno how to feel.

Ribuck: oh man even encouragement eh? No wonder even THAT felt awkward to try...because it just wasn't genuine. It was trying to fulfill my own needs. Thanks for confirming that feeling. That's some pretty good stuff, never even thought of involving her in spreading her own bread spread. She did seem more interested in the vegetables when I picked her up and showed her the pot I was boiling them in. I will try all that. Making faces out of the food or any other form of art and make it all playable stuff lol. It's gonna be hard because I live in a family that complains that she's playing with her food, but I'm all like "c'mon...she's a baby. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?" Notw to extend that, will encourage her to do so if it means she's more likely to eat. THANKS MAN! Wesley: oh sorry, that was a long and vague message that had nothing to do with your question. Just venting some frustration. She doesn't know how to speak to that extent. Like she can't explain why she doesn't want to eat. The most she can do is say short sentences with less than 3 words like "where are you?" "there you are?" but never the explanation of her state of being. She can't even say YES to when I ask her "are you pooing?" WHILE she is pooing.

I'm gonna be a masochist and TRY to listen to it....

Ah man, Schwartz is who I gotta read after Earley. Clearly there's more to it especially to come from the originator.

FFB: Alright thanks for the advice. I only DID start giving her a variety of options before preparing them. Like asking her "what would you like? These vegetables or some bread?" She pointed to the vegetables and she ate them when I negotiated that I would not go downstairs with her unless she had some first. Is that coaxing or proper negotation? I can't tell, but thanks, I will try to provide more variety like a hands on menu for her to see if she even WANTS to eat. Otherwise she would turn away from all foods and communicate she's not down to eat to begin with. As for fiber to help with the constipation what are some good foods for that? I have bran cereal, but that's about it. Brown bread? What else that isn't a grain? luminescent: They've brought her to doctors many times. First they gave my cousin suppositories and it worked the one and only time they used it, but I don't think it's right to stick stuff up a baby's butt...I don't know if I believe in the myth that babies JUST so happen to have colon problems and it's normal for them to get constipated because their bodies are getting used to new foods. I don't buy it, but that's what my cousin says. However, if she is right, then I dunno why she isn't researching her own solutions rather than wasting hours whining and worrying about her daughter and taking her to so many doctors that don't do much for her. If they give advice, they may not be following it, though the doctors did one prescribe a laxative that got her pooing every day. I wonder if it was healthy to keep giving it once she got a healthy bowel movement. There is much for me to learn about...the gross innards of a human being and thanks for helping me consider my own research. She gets plenty of yogurt drinks when she's brought to my house, so I'll try harder to get her to drink them and even eat yogurt which she finishes in a snap. Wesley: I don't like being too hard on her parents, but sometimes it's just so easy because they fail...like...A LOT as parents and individuals lol. But let's not get into that here. And the reason I raise that caveat is because I suspect they force feed her sometimes. Her dad suggested it to me that I just "shove the food in her mouth" if she's not eating, "sometimes eventually she'll start taking it afterwards without you having to." Even still I don't like that concept...it just feels innately wrong to do. I prefer keeping the spoon at a distance and see if she will take the bite voluntarily, and some of the time she does. Other than developing a bad relationship to food because of the force feeding, I suspect her constipation doesn't allow much room for new food til she's MADE the room. I look forward to more feedback and I'll work on implementing the stuff you guys have given me here so far. Thanks again!

Petitions are supposed to have a certain quota to reach in order for the goal to be achieved. And the signing needs to be voluntary. Just because someone posts here, doesn't mean they agree to it. Try finding a petition making site and see how many people actually want to sign it of their own choice. I doubt Stef would want to agree to this, but if he did, it would be his choice to come up with a number of signatures required before he goes through with it. But hey, I wouldn't really take this thread seriously. Wackjob, welcome to the boards and all that good stuff, I hope you find value in engaging more important issues. The past two days I've seen you in the chatroom, looks like you already have. This thread though is kind of counter productive lol.

I need some help on how I can effectively feed my neice, who I babysit on the weekends. She seems to have a strange relationship with food and I had to find out lately that my cousin says that she eats well with her only because she force feeds her sometimes. Last month I was going to try force feeding my neice, but she kept turning her head and get more frustrated the more I tried even if I took a few minutes to let her digest. So I stopped trying because I didn't want to upset her, however she needs to eat throughout the day because I'm afraid her nutrition is all messd up, she's constipated a lot of the times. And the constipation Im not sure is an excuse to NOT feed her if she's already full from days of blocked up food. Anyways, I looked up force feeding benefits, but I couldn't find any. All evidence pointed to the contrary. It is not at all beneficial because it causes kids to have bad relationships with food, especially if you constantly have to beg and plead to get them to eat, which is what my cousin does. I even tried to look for articles that say it's actually positive to force feed, but I really can't find any. I just keep finding that it frustrates the child as much as I've experienced empirically, and that some food disorders are actually linked to childhood force feeding. So ultimately, I chose to never force feed her, and went through the negotiation route. I've been successful a few times, while others I'm not sure if I'm losing patience and she senses that, hence she refuses to eat, that;s what I need help on. I want to know if I'm doing this right. Last weekend, she wanted to go upstairs and I enforced "no you can't go unless you finish this first." But then she started banging her head on the wall and dropping to the floor, and realized that I was trying to dominate her. So I sat by the stairs and motioned to the plate and the stairs for her, "ok fine we'll go upstairs, if you promise to eat once we do. Do you promise to eat if we go upstairs?" She nodded, stopped whining immediately. When we got up, I tried to feed her, she turned her head away and I said "remember you promised?" She said "oh okay!" And then just took a bite and continued normally from there. During another feeding though, she wanted to eat some baby junk food so I KNEW she was in the mood for eating and was actually hungry, so I ruled out the possibility that she just isn't hungry. I had to feed her something healthy so I said "if you want me to open this you have to finish this first," so the negotiation that time back fired. Maybe I was getting aggrovated and too controlling because I was showing her that I would hide the Bear Paws until she chooses to co-operate. I want to know how much more effective I could be with negotiating with her to eat. I have her for almost 12 hours a day, and I don't want her to starve on the pacifistic principle that I just don't want to frustrate her about eating. I know she can go a few hours without eating, but I am worried that I may be messing up her nutrtional habits if I just don't feed her at all in a day on account of her constipation not allowing new food to come in. As for the question about her parents feeding her...ugh...I don't even want to get into that. It's not horrible forceful, and in fact since I posted a Facebook status about my experience I described above, I noticed my cousin becoming a bit more positive when it came to feeding her. Hopefully that impact lasts but I have no control over that. Only what I get to do with my neice on the weekends. I would greatly appreciate your thoughts on this!

If they have the capacity for reason and can question things like you do, they're worth keeping around. Just not as much. Those friendships either fizzle out and die, or improve if you become a living example of your virtues. Take it from me...I only have 3 friends left I've ditched the blatantly destructive, and then the subtley destructive people. Don't know about their belief systems too much but I can sure as hell make a good guess if I had to. I've never lost a friend yet from an argument on principles pertaining to religion or politics. To me it's how well am I being treated? My best friend isn't religious, but he goes to church, and he does not argue back when I talk about religion's fallacies. Next time I hang out with him, I do want to know how he feels about it because he's a bright guy who already has no interest voting. Though I know he can benefit from why it's important that he continues not voting lol.

Sorry if this is sort of hijacking the thread, but I want to know how you stay engaged with your kids all day without media. I tire out from playing extensively and resort to letting my neice watch TV for a couple hours to recuperate. Is it okay to also promote parallel play where we can share the same space, but have different individual activities going on? I have her for 12 hours a day on the weekends, and I just don't know what to do with my stamina lol.

I first watched this on mute while listening to music since there were subtitles. But it was extra touching to hear the intonation of their voices. It moved me. I still eat meat, but good for this kid knowing the ethical implications of filling your belly with beings that were once live, sentient and conscious.