sagiquarius

Certainly!

Howdy from Montana! This is a invite for all the gay, bi, and lesbian folks on here to have a regular group chat regarding life issues and interests specific to our little niche group. Things like, coming out, dating in general, challenges, fears, hopes. Ya know, human stuff. Nothing too formal; we are hanging and communicating here. Letting our hair down, if you will! Let me know if you're interested, and how often you can participate. I'll work on scheduling something from there. I'm generally available week day evenings and weekend afternoons.

thanks f thanks for basically bumping this post, This looks like a great book.

Matt - you prepared to give grant moral sanction and stand up for your choice of sociopath? That is who you are voting for, a sociopath. Some say not voting is morally worse than voting. What do you think?

Sorry for the necro post. Why is sex at dawn on the list of books an immediate disqualifier and runs the risk of not attracting intelligent, healthy, and emotional-balanced partners? That's making as assumption about the intent of the person that may not be accurate. The implication is that the OP may agree with the book, or it could (given the context of the other books listed) indicate a person with diverse intellectual interests. He does list himself as monogamous. To the OP: I am curious. Why did you list sex at dawn so high on the list? I mean, that is a book about polyamory and alternative sexual/romantic lifestyles. And you posted it to the FDR forum. If that isn't your lifestyle nor interest, (considering the monogamous status), I'd suggest dropping it from the list. To speak to what Mike and Austin are saying: I consider myself open to polyamory, and have explored it a great deal - conceptually and via chatting with many folks that are poly. I can say with 100% certainty that there is a high degree of emotional instability and rampant liberalism in that community. So, if your goal is to find a monogamous partner that is emotionally stable and available, listing sex at dawn (presuming the reader is aware of the book) isn't going to help your case. It really depends on the reader. I wouldn't be put off by it were I interested in dating you. But it would be a "yellow flag" that would need to be discussed in person. It isn't the "polyness" that concerns me, in this hypothetical example, it would be what usually comes with said polyness. However, if you are looking for a poly girl, well then proceed and be honest and open about it. Which it looks like you are. Please be careful, though. I must warn you, poly folks aren't well respected in the FDR world and are generally looked upon with suspicion by some. Sadly, this is the case for transgender folks as well, and (I really hate to say it) is likely warranted.

I'm game for this. Walls of the text are "the devils" work when it comes to really connecting with folks. I Live in Montana, for all that is "holy", please tell me how to join this Skype group where there is fun interpersonal banter! I've been contemplating starting some sort of local meet up group to host/initiate social interaction. Smoke and the coming winter out here find me indoors a lot, which means more hands on technology. Might as well chat it up with some fun FDR folks!

Hi Jeff (say, you look familiar)! I'm bi too. What prompted you to post this message, Jeff? Are you looking for something, perhaps some one? Also, Jeff only gets one response?! Madness. Look at that cute handsome face - and Philosopher King no less! Sirmetalhead: Are you openly bi? If so, how's your experience been with that?

As a very funny and witty person who is often told "you should be a comedian", I can certainly relate to the idea put forth in this video. Also, a good podcast to check out about this subject is the mental illness happy hour. Being funny is great social lubricant, and there are times when it helps to make light of negative situations. But, doing so without the knowledge of what you are doing and why is dangerous. Listening to a lot of the listener's on Stef's show really helps to make it painfully clear when it's appropriate to laugh and joke. Too many adults think it's cute and funny to jest at how they were raised. Worse, too many adults can empathize with the person making the jokes. I totally understand what Stef means when he says "me + something". In my case, it's me plus funny. It's a means to hide, to manipulate, and to get others to laugh at their own pain or my own. Being able to not laugh in return when somebody is clearly prompting you to do so takes courage. Being able to use that moment to connect with the wounded person behind the humor takes courage and self-knowledge. Thanks for sharing!

Utopian: Which video games do you play the most? Why do you feel that spending your time playing these games is a waste? I know exactly what you mean, because my partner and I went through the same thing. In fact, I just experienced it again several weeks ago. In fact, this is something that is on my podcast bucket list. So, I'll be sure my GF and I sit down and create a podcast about this topic. The you describe how you feel is pretty much how both of us felt. Our particular game of choice was warcraft. I don't even want to know how many hours I spent playing that game, nor the hours I spent trying to "replace" the game. ug.

I think it's safe to bet that Stef would say something like: "please, keep your money!" I believe you're donating in a way that money itself can't properly express. I'm glad to see others taking the energy of Stef's material and using it to help add value to their lives and the world. How are you feeling about your life with this project in the foreground rather than simply a vague idea?

After too many years of head-up-my-arse-Nihilism, and some recent help from Ady (oh come on, she's practically famous around here, right?), I've decided to move forward with more public content instead of just recording myself talking and never doing anything with it. I don't care if money is made or not. What's important is that I do it, learn as I go, and do my best to produce content that at least tickles the funny bones. I don't want to be that guy that thinks about doing something more and never does. Here is my soundcloud channel: https://soundcloud.com/sagiquarion I also produced one monologue video because I was tired of merely thinking of doing it and not doing it: What do you guys think? Hate it? Lemme have it. Loved it, cool! What could be better?

Having spent most of my 20's researching conspiracy theories and stepping up to my soapbox to tell others about it, I'm pretty sure I can recognize when somebody else has a problem. So, to the OP, lemme just say I'm sorry dude. I'm sorry that the world is the way it is and I'm sorry there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. There are so so many other issues that are sooo much easier to prove both logically and empirically that it pains me some folks spend their precious short lives researching things they can't change while wishing the world were different. I applaud your tenacity, I truly do, but if I were you (which I was) then I would seriously sit down and think about why these subjects interest you and what you can honestly do with the information. Whenever I see threads like this, I keep thinking of when screaming "9/11 was an inside job" with bullhorns in walmarts and on the streets was considered effective activism. There is always going to be a conspiracy to unravel and it's always going to be about something that can't be proved and really doesn't matter any longer. There are people that skill talk about the JFK assassination. My god that is sad. I don't need science to prove you're wrong about the nukes. I only need logic and observation. Look at how our society is run, look at the sociopaths that seem to never loose their grip on power and influence. Look at the shit people are willing to do to their own kids for fucks sake! Of course the human race created horrible weapons like nuclear bombs. Of course the human race is capable of staging an incident by tossing planes into buildings. There are people in this world so screwed that they are willing to murder and rape even the most helpless and defenseless of our species, and you're coming on here making a case that nukes aren't real. Are you fucking kidding me?

As Stef would say: Go on... What did you do when the horse kicked you in the teeth?

Kevin: I'll be more mindful of the thoughts that precede the sorrow. In general, a lot of "have to" statements followed by self attacking often accompany the sorrow. Matt: You're right, to me the process of finding a good therapist is no different than finding a good life partner. I saw one potential person from the FDR board that I'd like to at least check out. I'm fairly picky when it comes to with whom I get a long with personally, so I'm going to presume that'll apply to a therapist as well. I do journal and podcast regularly, which does help. But I feel like I keep taking steps forward and steps backward. Like I'm stuck in rut or cycle. Know what I mean? I wrote a long journal entry a little over 2 weeks ago. You're welcome to read it as it may give you some insight as to my mind set and inner thoughts. Here ya go!

Wow, you two. This is the point where I stop watching this thread. I mean, seriously, read back at what the both of you are writing. I'd rather have a conversation about nonsense than listen to this passive-aggressive crap. Back away and take it out of the thread in PM. And FFS, don't respond to me in this thread - take it up in PM! Unsubscribed, thumbs down, would not recommend.

That's pretty close to how I'm feeling, Kevin. I would add feelings of entrapment and loss of interest in things I know will make me feel better - like writing, podcasting, or engaging in conversation. Did you find yourself ignoring that what you wanted to do when you were feeling nasty? Almost as if you were intentionally keeping yourself in a shitty state of sadness? I'll give you the brief synopsis before I go out for a run to clear my head: I moved to Montana in May of 2014. It wasn't more than a few weeks after that when I started to notice this sort of sadness creeping over me like a slow dense fog settling over a once happy and content little town. I would often feel overwhelmed and dejected. Several months prior to that found me struggling with where I wanted to move, what my girlfriend and I were going to do with our relationship, and what I wanted to do with myself professionally and for a creative outlet. For a long while (until my life coach pointed this out to me) I would dismiss and diminish my suffering by saying things like "oh, well at least it's not as bad as <insert comparison>". As of this moment, when I look back upon the last year, I've noticed a persistent feeling of urgency and ambivalence about what to do. I'm not concerned about the how - that always gets worked out when I make a choice and stick with it. I don't feel safe nor content with where we are currently living or my current job. I am taking small steps to change that, but these things take time and the thought of living like this for much longer is ... disgusting to me. I'm not suppose to be this way, man. This shit ain't right, as they say. My girlfriend tells me that she feels sad when it appears like I want to laugh and be happy but it never quite breaches the surface - like it's being held back or attenuated in some way. It's like I'm covered in some viscus mucus that blurs my perspective and makes it hard to touch upon those emotions. Even when I feel like I need to cry over this stuff, that doesn't even come. I feel it bubble to the surface but then it stops, or perhaps I'm stopping the expression. It's like I'm currently living in some sort of emotional void where I feel stuff, but not to the extreme nor clarity I once did. Which is disturbing to me because I'm generally a very passionate and expressive person. I don't trust my judgement any longer given the result of my decisions these last several months. I'm so tired Kevin. Tired of always second guessing myself, tired of rubbing salt into my own wounds, and I'm really tired of the ambivalence. I feel uprooted and unable to find respite nor solace to fucking think straight. Perhaps "feel straight" is a better way of putting it. Hence my desire for therapy. To be fair, this is not the entirety of my experience. There are days of happiness, where I'm expressing my creativity or feeling good, but they almost feel like accidental respites from the usual , or like I'm faking it. That's just not right! Does any of this (situational differences aside) seem familiar to you?

So, what do you really want out of this discussion? I ask because you've admitted you struggle with this belief. This thread isn't about you "coming out", this thread is about you looking for help in resolving the conflict you've stated above. Come on, you know exactly to whom you're presenting yourself right now and you know you're going to be challenged or asked to engage in discussions of greater depth then you're likely to find outside of this community. Some follow-up questions, if you don't mind: What are you without god? Why do you need to believe there is a god vs no god? How does your perspective of your life, the world, and the universe change if there is no god?

Thanks for the response Kevin. How are you liking the frontend dev work life? That was one path I had given serious consideration and still may pursue. I'm finding it difficult to make a choice for myself with this weight of depression and sorrow on me. I'm not accustomed to living with this level of sadness, in fact I'd go as far to say this isn't living. More like surviving each day in hopes the next isn't as bad. Often I feel like I have forgotten what it's like to be happy or to live with a purpose. Perhaps, like you mentioned, I have been this way longer than I think and my recent life changes have brought this shit to the foreground. I need come up with some sort of small steps for myself in addition to finding a therapist. I don't want to make any major life decisions in this state of mind. Anyway, your response was very helpful and I very much appreciate the time you took to write it. BTW, your post was well written and formatted neatly for the web. Is that partly to do with your job, or do you dabble in blogging or copywriting?

Could anybody recommend a specific counselor for depression, major changes of life and grief? I'm not doing very well and it's time I admit that and get some damn help. Thank ya kindly.

I'm choking up over here Joel because your post speaks to my current life circumstances. A home should be a place of respite and recovery. Thank you for sharing and I'm very glad to hear that you found a home in which you feel like you can rest. I'm very much looking forward to that myself. My you find continued peace and rest in your home As for my future home. Number 1 priority and requirement: No shared wall or floor space! I don't want to hear a single thump, slap, bing, nor bang from any nearby people.

I'm looking to get in touch with "Jake from bozeman, Montana". He sent me a message on the (soon to be gone) FDR meetup everywhere group for western montana. I'm unable to respond to him due to that service closing, so I'm hoping to get his attention here. I'm watching this topic, so I'll respond as soon as I hear from you.

Thanks very much, everybody, for your interest. I plan on hosting the next chat in late August after I move into a new townhouse with a good internet connection. The connection here is terrible. I'll update the OP as well.

Thanks Sue! If anybody has any more follow-ups, please do post. Here is the podcast I mentioned: http://www.thevoluntarylife.com/ Also, the book The Personal MBA and the supporting reading list were very helpful in giving me some nice business management and systems information.

It's right here! https://plus.google.com/hangouts/_/g2ujkxkme4m4dxnavcraomdbgmaWOw, you're right, I completely screwed up the date. FIxed

OK, so apparently G+hangouts doesn't allow me to do what I'd like by just sharing a link for you guys to join prior to the start time. I have to invite the participants specifically, or post the live link when it's time. Please PM your email address or link to your google+ profile and I'll add you to the "circle" for the chat. Alternatively, check this posting around 645-650 US mountain time for a "live" link you'll be able to use to join. Thanks for your interest, and I hope to see you there!