ngotol

Thanks for all the positive feedback, here's another I wrote as a song: Verse 1: I'm not immortal, you might have guessed, I'm one of many, just like the rest, We're only human, there is no god, There's only outer space above. I'm open-minded, but it depends, If your theory has evidence, I am a skeptic, I don't have faith, I don't need jesus to feel safe. Chorus 1: I hate religion, don't preach to me, I have to know and I won't believe, I work with science, I trust in fact, I work with logic and I trust in that. Verse 2: All this bloodshed, so many wars, All this pain, with one cause, A deity, that they pretend, Explains what they don't comprehend. Don't fill the gaps, in what we know, With made-up dogma 'cause a book says so, Richard Dawkins and Pat Condell, Listen to them and listen well. Chorus 2: I hate religion, don't preach to me, I have to know and I won't believe, I work with science, I trust in fact, I work with logic and I trust in that. Chorus 3: So if you're religious, go fuck yourself, And if I'm wrong then I'll burn in hell, 'Cause faith and worship are a disease, That brings the species to it's knees.

I can't find a poetry section, so I've put this in the topic it relates to. Maybe we could start one up? If I were blind I might think like you. It’s hard to know what’s real when you cannot see what’s true. Must you fill the gaps in what we know with lies Ancient and wise Because a book says so? If I were cruel I might think like you And find myself hating my fellow human beings as you do And all because they believe in different lies Sad, that better thoughts can’t be had Than planning each other’s demise If I were scared I might think like you Unable to accept that no one hears your thoughts but you I understand that death can seem harsh and unforgiving So, you find comfort to know That something will be there when you stop living

That's interesting; if the third-person 'leaving the playground' metaphor was about giving up on trying to save my dad, then it was definitely something I wasn't feeling or experiencing at the time. Since then I have 'left the playground' and I have accepted that my dad isn't the kind of person I want around me. Your explanation of the gun metaphor is congruent with my recent feelings. I've now realised that there is no weapon to combat the irrationality of my parents or to convince my dad to wake up. I'm keeping him at a distance now and feeling much less anxious for it. Thanks for the feedback Jeff, much appreciated!

Fantastic! Thank you very much!

Hello everyone, I've been trying to access the call-in show for a few weeks now with no success. How do I access the chatroom? I've tried 'www.fdrurl.com/chat' but it doesn't connect to anything. I have Skype. Any ideas? I'd be most grateful. Ollie

The Dream: I was at a car-boot sale that appeared to be selling firearms, in the car park of a big red-brick building (similar layout to the tarmac playground of my first primary school). On the opposite side of the tarmac from the building there was a fairly big tree. I was climbing the tree with an unidentified friend and my step-father, but as we started to make some progress up the tree my mother started calling from down below. She was calling for my step-father to stop climbing the tree and to return to her, I think she was angry or irritated. My step-father followed her orders and I was disappointed that he didn't continue with what I assumed was an enjoyable activity for him. Later I was walking around with the unidentified friend, looking to get a small, concealable pistol; there were a few guns on offer at the various stalls, but most of what was for sale was useless, bulky, nondescript stuff. After a while I saw one that looked the right size, but when I picked it up it became a huge, bulky piece of metal so I didn't buy it. The part that faced me as I picked it up looked exactly like the defective part of an engine that I've been working on recently (it's part of a project that's been underway for a while, but I've had a stream of financial and mechanical difficulties). Towards the end of the dream there was a higher, more distant third-person perspective: the building was on the right, the tree was on the left, and there was a gate in the foreground that I watched my friend and myself walk towards as we left. Background Information: I was raised by a single mother in England and didn't know my father (although I did meet him and my half-sister a few years ago), she met my step-father when I was five and they married when I was eight. My step-father has taught me a lot about science and logic (he's a geophysicist), but has always been completely whipped by my mother (his father is in a similar situation with his controlling mother). My mother has always been dictatorial, manipulative, fear-mongering, guilt-mongering, hypocritical, dismissive, verbally abusive and (when I was very young) occasionally physically abusive. I once started hitting her during an argument when I was young (possibly around five or six) and I don't think there was any physical abuse after that, although I was distraught and guilt-ridden after hitting her. I recently decided to stop seeing my mother and have moved out of the house, which is a bit more difficult than it sounds because we live in Brazil and I don't have a lot of language or local knowledge. My parents moved here a couple of years ago due to my step-father's job (we've moved country a lot since they got married) and I moved here to teach English about a year ago (my mother's suggestion, as I was unhappy with my job in the UK). Luckily I have a Scottish friend who lives nearby so I have a place to stay that's close to where I work; I also have a fiancee here with whom I have a wonderful relationship (she shares my thoughts on peaceful parenting and we're looking to have a child). My step-father and I had a few conversations about the situation; he agreed with my arguments around reciprocity, but there was a short-circuit near the end when I got to the conclusions ("but she's your mother and we have to try and work things out"). I described what I felt about my mother's physical abuse towards me using the 'beating up a guy in a wheelchair' analogy, which he was surprised by, said he had never seen or heard about it. I remember the disciplinary violence was only done when I was alone with my mother and as my step-father was away with his job a lot there's a good chance he's being honest about his ignorance. After that conversation his attitude changed considerably; he's helping me with rent at my new place and has stopped asking me to resolve things with my mother while helping me avoid contact with her. My Analysis: Despite this drama, I'm happier than I've even been. Public school was a hell of violence and cruelty; boarding school was a more refined hell where I was forced to live with my tormentors; home was a pit of guilt and fear; university was a confusing mess of drug abuse and self-loathing. I think the tree I was climbing in the dream was the tree of knowledge, an escape from the cruelty of the playground and the bullying of my mother. I wish my step-father could climb it with me and escape too, but his leash won't stretch that far and that makes me very sad. He's taught me so much about logic but can't use it to help himself; he hears the commands of my mother and heels without question. I wonder if the gun I'm trying to find is the argument I need to set him free, but I can't find one that'll do the job. Maybe it's the argument I want to find to set everyone free; it needs to be concealable so I don't attract unwanted attention, but it needs to be powerful enough to liberate me and the people I love. Maybe I need to just leave the playground like I do at the end of the dream and leave him behind. I'm crying just thinking about it.

Here's a brief overview: Logical, scientific influence from my step-father during late childhood combined with vaguely socialist ideas influenced by my mother > Self-study of Atheism using Youtube since early 2012 (re-enforcing previous opinions) > Many episodes of Penn & Teller's 'Bullshit!' (gun control and drug prohibition were especially thought-provoking) > Libertarianism (for about a week!) > Stef's 'The story of your enslavement' video > Voluntarist/Anarcho-capitalism/Freedomain Radio videos > The great podcast slog! (I'm up to no. 257).A key moment was Penn Gilette saying something along the lines of, "I'm a Libertarian, and we believe that problems should be solved using more freedom whenever possible". I agreed completely and it wasn't long before I saw a video of Stefan and settled remarkably comfortably into Voluntarism.I hope this interesting or informative in some way and I look forward to any questions or comments.