Mellony

Things like this really piss me off....if god is so worried about us finding him, why would he make his inspired word so complex that regular people can't understand it. That's always been a tactic the religious people around me say, that I need to find a pastor, etc to help me understand it in its real context. It's truely sickening! I'm glad you found your way after all the indoctrination. Kudos to you!

I completely understand that you are not trying to defend his actions, and believe me, I have thought about him trying to run away and it breaks my heart. I know he was lonely and he has always said that he was pretty much on his own when he was growing up. It really must have been tough. I have a problem in that I empathize with people too much. Hearing stories of kids being mistreated upset me so much. Do you remember when Susan Smith drowned her kids in the back seat of her car? After I heard that, I didn't sleep for days. It upset me so much, I just kept thinking about those 2 boys in their carseats crying and being scared and wondering why their mom isnt trying to help them. It weighs on my heart even still. Hearing about the families being destroyed and the innocent lives lost overseas because of our ridiculous wars. ALl the children who lost their lives or their parents. Can you imagine the horror? All because they were born in the wrong country. Its terrible. I wish I could just help them. Stop it all. How can people be ok with that? How can people turn a blind eye? My father was abused as a child and thinking about the things he went through literally brings tears to my eyes. I can't imagine going through that. That's why I am try so hard to be gentle with my kids. I don't ever want them to feel crappy like I did when I was growing up. EVER, they don't deserve it. They are amazing kids. You are right with the ages of the children when things started getting bad. I blamed myself, I still blame myself. I obviously did something to make him change so drastically...I did gain weight after having my last baby. He did tell me I was unattractive. Maybe that was it? Do you really think he would talk to me about this? I would think that he really wouldn't be too interested in it. The concert incident happened in 2011. The Foo Fighters is my favorite band. I think it made him jealous because at the concert I really had a good time. I was in my cousins wedding in Chicago in 2007. He didn't talk to me the entire trip, and left me at my cousins wedding because he didn't like me sitting with another man. He told me this on our trip home when he started talking to me again. Thanks for all the nice words. I really don't think I deserve them though. I'm just a regular mom trying to do what's best for her kids. I'm just doing what I am supposed to be doing.

While seemingly obvious, I very much appreciate your post and has at least given me a place to start, so I thank you for that. Snipes, If you want to start come kind of a group therapy online or some kind of interaction where we can help each other, let me know. I'd be happy to work together with FDRers on this if possible. I would really be interested in that!

I'm hesitant to talk about my kids and previous relationships because I have a horrible track record picking partners and I am a bit embarrassed by it. I have been married 2 times. I have 6 kids from my first marriage (20, 18, 16, 13, 12, 10) and I have 2 kids from my 2nd marriage (8, 7). I married my 2nd husband in 2004 and our divorce was final in March of this year. I have no intentions of getting into any sort of relationship with anyone else until my kids are older and I work on myself and figure out why I pick such abusive idiots. I don't want to have my kids be around someone who could potentially be abusive to them like my last husband was. With that being said, my ex didn't have a very good relationship with his parents. When we were together both his parents had already passed away. I do know there were some circumstances in his past that happened to him that I would consider abusive. I was told of an incident where they were in Texas and he just left his family and attempted to hitch hike back to Missouri. He was 5 and they didn't even notice he was missing for like 2 hours. It was heartbreaking to me. I get why he had problems, but he wouldn't admit they were problems. Things will never change for him until he can get some help.

Yes, he had 3 older siblings. There was at least 12 years difference between him and the brother before him. I know he had a pretty lonely childhood and he told me that he never really felt wanted. I don't think he had a great relationship with his siblings but now since he started going to church with them, they are closer. I'm happy about that. I always wanted him to reach out and spend more time with them. He needs that. The only downfall is that he takes our boys to church with him.

My relationship with him started out amazing! He was perfect....that should have been the tip off! After we have our 2nd child together, life became a living hell. He beat our dog and I'm not talking about a smack, I'm talking about kicking and throwing her across the floor, laying on her and punching her in the stomach, and carrying her by the tail. When she peed on the floor, he threw her in the pee and wiped it up with her. This was done in front of the kids. When they were older he would throw stuff on the floor and make them pick it up. He threw stuff and broke stuff. He wouldn't talk to me for days...He always pointed out what I didnt do right and never said anything nice to me. The complete opposite of what he was in the beginning. He left me at a Foo Fighters concert because I didn't pay enough attention to him. We were 200 miles away from home. He came back to get me and drove almost 100mph all the way home in the pouring rain....not saying a word to me. The next day, he yelled at me because he was sure I loved them more than him, I embarrassed him and I have been to more Foo Fighters concerts than to his city council meetings. He was on City Council, BTW. I seriously think he has a mental issue. He wanted to dig a hole in the backyard so we can survive the loss of gravity the earth is going to have when Planet X hits us. He thought I was having an affair with my 16 yr old son's (from a previous relationship) friend. He threatened to beat up my parents...It just got to be too much. He was a completely different person around his friends and constituents and pretty much everyone else but me the kids and my parents. It made me feel like shit...I was worthless. When he raised his voice, my 7 yr old instantly started crying and sat down and hid his face in his lap. I had to leave...I had to Thanks for letting me vent....I know this is poorly written and probably doesnt flow well. I was just getting it all out!

I have no experience with this, but I wanted to say thanks for the info. I have never heard of self-therapy....Can you get his podcasts for free?

STer~ You are exactly right. My son only eats specific things and none of them consist of veggies or fruits. And the conventional methods of introducing new foods don't really work. It's so frustrating when people tell me just put some on his plate he will eventually get used to them....I did that since he was an infant, even then he would only eat certain baby foods. Or they tell me to sneak veggies into meatloafs, hamburgers, etc. He notices. Hell, if I buy a different brand of syrup he notices. He notices everything!! My parents idea is eat it or starve...he would never eat then. The worst is the gluten free advocates. If you switch him to a gluten free diet, he will be cured. OK, when the only thing he will eat is breads and meat, it's pretty hard to get him to eat gluten free. And yes I know they have gluten free options on a lot of things now, but have you tasted any of those things? There is no way in hell he wouldn't notice a difference and then refuse to eat it. Anyway...the term peaceful parenting is kind of a generic term and each child needs specific things, especially those with disabilities. I wish there was more information on the topic...I guess I just need someone to bounce ideas off of. I should write a book about it once I learn.

Your comment has made me feel pretty defensive....so I'm not going to say anything and just contemplate.

I have been listening to a lot of your podcasts lately and you seem to talk bad about single motherhood. I am a single mom. I am divorced because my ex was abusive and I thought it was best to get my kids out of that situation. I'm not an evil woman who thinks women have no need for men. I think men need a social movement because society portrays men as idiots. It's absolutely disgusting. I worry that my sons will grow up thinking they are worthless, broken girls. I also didn't want them to be mentally scarred any more like I was my whole childhood and that's why I left my husband. Just some thoughts regarding your podcasts....

Just anecdotical, but I really hated when my parents prevented me from playing video games but didn't provide any alternatives (like spending time to play/interact with me). I would do the same as your son, sit in couch/bed and grow resenftul towards them and their irrationality (not sure if he does the later, hope not). What other options does he have?, maybe he just doesn't know what else to do or hasn't found yet another passion besides video games. I want to be clear that I do not take his games away or his DS....I did in the past because I was trying to get him involved in other things. Recently I have just let him play whenever he wants....he takes breaks and when he does, he rocks..... How will he find another passion if he doesn't expose himself to other things?

I am saving money to talk to her. She told me it was $86 for an hour....

http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2013/05/30/2077731/st-louis-police-shoot-black-honor-student-25-times/?mobile=nc I really hate cops!

I'll be honest with you and say that it's probably me listening to the system and what they say is wrong with it. I guess I really don't have much of a problem with it, except I want him to develop other interests. And I know that parenting children shouldn't be about what I want but about what they want. It's just that I worry about what he will do in the future. The whole situation confuses me...

I do think it is part of his Asperger's disorder and I say this because since a young age that has been his only interest and the only subject he has ever talked about. When I don't let him play, he just sits on the couch and rocks back and forth. I mean there really isn't any interest in anything else. Part of me feels like who cares, but then there is another part of me that says, hey he needs more interests to be a well rounded person and video games are bad for you. I suppose, however, that those things are what society would say to me. And if I was really honest with myself, I know I wouldn't have nearly as much of a problem with this if it was puzzles or trains that he was obsessed with. He has older and younger brothers that also play video games and they will stop on their own. They find other things to do...

Thank you!! That is amazing!

Well, poop!

I ordered it from Amazon...I'll let you know what my kids think of it!

Has anyone read this book??

I would love to see a show with Dayna Martin on the subject of parenting children on the autism spectrum disorder. I heard her say on a previous show that she lets her children just follow their own interests and doesn't force them into subjects that don't interest them. I have a son who has Asperger's Syndrome and if I let him do what ever he wants, all he does is play his DS. He will not do anything else. I would love to know how you 2 would deal with this.

Hi Joaor! I recently went through what you are going through. I was married for 8 years to a Libertarian who held a position on city council. He started out principled but eventually he voted to raise taxes to pay for a discrepancy in the police pension fund caused by the last city manager....I lost all respect for him. On the homefront, we didn't fight but he was a domineering physically and emotionally abusive jerk. He spanked the kids, beat our dog in front of the kids, made messes for the kids to clean up, and would throw and break things when mad. I became an atheist and he started taking our boys to church without asking me. I decided that environment wasn't healthy for anyone in the family and I divorced him. I'm not sure exactly what is going on in your house but you're not alone. Now that I am divorced I could never marry or even date a statist religious man. I just have no respect for them.

http://www.lady-patriots.com/the-smoking-gun-adam-kokesh-works-for-obama/ I think this has to be the stupidest article ever!!!!

It is a party!!! Who's bringing the beer!? []

I do love corny jokes!!! []

Missouri definitely loves company, especially rational company. I live in land of the conservative christian.