Coreforcruxes

I am really sorry to hear this, especially with young children involved. I am in no way a relationship expert but while reading your posts some questions jumped out at me that I Imagine might facilitate anyone trying to help. could you please go into more detail about the division of labor and her feelings about it?what are your personality defects that she is upset about? why does she feel dominated? do you agree with her assessment? if you don't know the answer to these questions, why not?

Thanks LP, i watched these this morning and know it will be a valuable resourc.

Zava, thank you for your feelings and experiences I will add it to my thoughts on this matter. I have over-analyzed it and looked at it from all angles and concluded that a friendship is all it merits. I had the fine luck of reading part of an Alice Miller book recently where she states that without a period of dependence a developed conscious self cannot form. I do not feel that she has reached that (nor I to my satisfaction). Because of this I feel like if we either had a relationship, or maintained a friendship with the express goal of an eventual union then we would both miss out on this kind of development. In a past relationship of mine I broke it off because I knew I was "missing something" and would never find it if I had to focus on a relationship and I at least do not want to repeat my mistakes. I expressed all of my many concerns I had to her about a relationship, one being the aforementioned. Another being that I would be in a position to (unintentionally of course) manipulate her development and over-power her, which could cause mutual resentment down the road. As far as exploring the nature of my attraction to her, I think its that she has not been conditioned by the world, which highlights my urge to guide her, which would be a position of power and I don't think that would make for a healthy relationship.I explained to her that my interest in a mutually beneficial friendship were that I knew she were dealing with issues and that I were doing the same and we could try to help each other there. And she did prove fruitful in that regard, a forum is great (this one is invaluable) but having someone around to talk to is different, I can be pretty honest with those around me but its all family which has its own tensions.

It might be a little cliche' but I cannot help but say that you save someone when you save yourself. I am really sorry your going through what you are but the world and yourself gets exponentially more fulfilling as you make your way through that trial that most are content to never address.

Yeah... you should not have me on your petition.

He has a dependent child. That is a reason not to do something potentially risky. This could be ameliorated with alot of very scientific data showing no risk, i was recently told it is the safest drug but i don't know. Its Illegal, due to his rational self interest it would be no kosher for him to risk harm to himself, another reason not to. Even if its objectivly safe, due to the threat of the state his responsability is to his family comes back to the fore front.soooo, he would have to go to a place where it were safe to do it, after learning that it is objectivly safe and harbors no risk. Unless an outside source were willing to supply all the resources to do all this, I'd rather he direct his time and FDR resources to the documentary. Aafter all that... Yeah, it might be interesting to see, if he thought it were an acceptable idea.

Dave!, thank you very much for clearing that up.thank you! I gotta say that post no matter the intent only made me want to stop reading decide it was a mistake to look for help and prcess my own options alone. I know you only had the best intentions and I really appreciate your participating in the thread.I am pretty anti-authortarian and what i percieved as wielding state threat I do not think had the intended consequences, I am glad my better, less impulsive self won out. of course, if the threat had been legitimate i would have been forced to consider my self-interest and perhaps your will would have been accomplished, either way it would have been a critical and insecure mind doing the "thinking". i have written a pretty long synopsis of the "date" and will give it to anyone who is interested and seems credible enough. i do not wish it to be available on the www.There is no evidence of legally regarded criminal activity in the document nor did any take place. There is personal details about another persons life which I hesitate to make publicly available without their permission. I am maintaining a guarded friendship with this young lady. My next task will be to work up a cost benefit of maintaining a friendship with her.

Short update: I am not going to entertain a relationship, I am now discerning whether a friendship could be mutually beneficial or not and really trying to explore the nature of my attraction to her, I have been a lost philosopher for a long time and am aware that I can sophisticate a solution to fit my [less than optimal] desires which is a large reason I showed up here for some clarity.Which you all have delivered in spades. Thank you so much, I have a measure of internal peace back and I am sure you bettered two lives.

Thank you for your post, i'll think about what you said especially whether this is a hormone desire or not. I pointed out my youthful looks as an indicator that maybe she was not seeking someone older ( a sign of her stability). I was not seeking someone younger, but they aggressivly presented themselves. If I were to entertain a relationship platonic or not I would do it out in the open, that means dealing with family and parents. IIf I thought she were in some way emotionally compromised (issues with her father) I would friend zone and come back here for advice on what help to recommend her. Thank you very much, you have given me alot to think about. i will have to reply to you in detail later. I think the shyness was a symptom of confliction with the situation. Thank you for your interest and reply, but how does that apply in this circumstance, she is currently 16. And, i am here out of an interest in her and my well being, not selfish wants but advice on the best way to handle the situation. Thanks for your post, I will definitley keep that in the forebrain.

(I have donated but my status is back logged, I believe Mike[?] is busy)Hello everyone I am looking for some insight from the best brain/heart trust on the planet.a little background; i live in a small Georgia town with my uncle and aunt who employ me pretty generously, I am 29 years old and live close to my cousins family (they are my age). Right now I am saving money and making future plans for long term stability. a girl at the local super market has been batting her eyelashes at me, and though she is gorgeous I dismissed it because I thought she looked too young, I also noticed she only worked on the weekends. well, my cousins husband was with me and saw the way she was looking at me, we went through her line and she had a co-worker asked me for my number which i casually said "ya know, I don't know it". After we got home he relayed the news to his wife, who called the store and got the girls phone number and found out her age, 16 (I live in Georgia where the age of consent is 16, not that that is a reliable metric of virtuous boundaries). I immediately put the thought out of my mind, or tried to. after working on his truck my cousin's husband and i went for test drive and (conveniently) were tasked by his wife to pick up eggs. We went through her line again and it seemed the whole store was in cahoots, cashiers stopped and watched... This 16 year old girl was running the show asking me why I was so shy, and I was just trying to stay above water, so I promised to text her. Long story short, I initially dismissed the thought but after being encouraged by both my cousin and her husband, my aunt and uncle and the staff of the local piggly wiggly, I am considering this as being acceptable. I have scheduled to have lunch with her on Friday, where i have considered three roads, "lets be friends", "lets go molasses slow", and "We should not try to develop any kind of relationship, and need to not socialize".What I want, I want to give it a chance, she is 16 and has done most of her emotional development (i imagine) and could be a reasonable moral agent. I would like to determine if this is true, I would like to see if we have anything in common and if it made sense to entertain the possibility of a relationship and go from there. I understand the possibility is small and to conclude that all requirements were met (she is emotionally competent, circumstantially stable and rationally aware) would require a lot of evidence. (considering physical possibilities, I courted a woman who was 5 years my junior, who had a developed emotional relationship where we did not sleep together for 7 months [the length of the relationship] which I ended because I knew I had some emotional development to do and I could not do it in a relationship. So, I am confident I could be a gentleman ) I hate to ring the bell of southern stereotypes but maybe this kind of age gap is more accepted in south Georgia, which is only a matter of social convenience, the real question is, is it blatantly or subtly wrong. Does that all depend on her and or my individual circumstances or are the numbers alone a death sentence? Do I think I am emotionally in the right place for a relationship? I am not sure, I am pretty happy, life is good and I have a pretty good grip on where I am and where I want to be and how to get there. please give me any opinions and advice you can FDR community, and thank you. I will be on later to respond. oh, If it helps... I look like I am in my early 20's, I have a baby face.

"...movement that mandates a purposeful and dedicated war against child abuse in the United States of America." I am probably being too nit-picky here, but I cringed when I read this. I am of course all for a universal awakening when it comes to aggression in any form against children. But when the remedy is proposed with words and concepts like, mandate, war against, and of course the factionalism i associate with the United States of America. The masses, are so prone (almost inevitably so) to over-correct I'd rather see a call to "wake up" be made in a sober and calm way relying on content of message to stir souls. Though, to regulate myself, If there is one subject that is bound to strike emotional chords (most justifiably), it is the knowledge of a childs suffering.

Great video. Fantastic pointing out that even if you are on time but rushed there and were not metally present, you did not really show up on time.thought on respecting others time: I used to work at a poker room, and when a guest would take too much time to act, and question me on why I was kindly requesting they speed up. i would explain to them that it was not only my time they spent but the other 9 players as well, so one minute wasted (so you could explain to the cocktail waitress how to prepare your salad, or flirt with her) was actually 10 minutes of human time down the drain.

All in all I thought It was pretty good, maybe don't have the camera so close (but if you haev audio issues don't sacrifice that for ease of viewing). Might I reccomend it be framed in at nipple or belly button hieght, especially if you plan on using hand gestures.(playing the part of a critic here [my intentions are constructive but let me know if I'm splitting hairs too fine] ) The content was all in all ok, easy to consume and pleasantly delivered, though did not strike me in too profound of a way (i think thats the price of easy consumption). .May i ask if you had a script going in or a rough idea?I feel like the message was to not be afraid to dream big nor discount your desires, but I can only relate that to not forgetting to work on your smallest part through your analogy.thanks for posting the video, i hope I was helpful

Hannibal, Thank you I appreciate your feedback.For the time being i am critically watching myself to make sure i am being productive, and focusing on increasing that net productivity, i've noticed when i don't have a deadline i work with less of a sense of urgency, so I started setting deadlines.I have never embraced structure so I really want to set and keep my own boundaries and so far I am having success, enough to add more boundaries/goals and be confident i will live up to them.And my relatives are very happy with the work i do for them, it is satisfying. and interesting. Though they could feasably keep me busy for years (seriously) it is no lifestyle to plan a life around. So while I can take advatange of it to give myself the fluidity to work on self-repair for the moment I will eventually, need to develop a more consistent plan for income (Farming or Other).

Thanks 34jake, I will take it all you have recommended into consideration, some of it I had thought of already but glad to see I am not the only one these things seem relevant to.

Thank you for your recommendation. I Think what I am doing qualifies as long as i keep pulling my weight in the household and track my progress on my projects and stay reasonably within deadlines and goals. He makes very good points, thank you for the recommendation, i spent 45 min skimming the video i will have to watch it again later. The farm would be rural, about 15 miles from a any decent sized cityI am 29 years oldA budget will be talked about only after I make a commitment to farm and come up with a planThe farm would initially be three acres, with access to 25 more I believe. The plan would be to research and experiment (market and method) initially expecting little to no return while a more educated stable business model were implemented.to mitigagte loss from undersaleing before nature claimed my goods, i would plan to get into homemade canned preserves ASAP, allowing me to prolong the shelflife of my goods and sale on the internet.GENERAL UPDATE:I should mention that i am not going to make any quick decisions based on this post. I am waiting for some thurough critiques and perspectives ( but I do of course appreciate all that I get). Thanks again all - please comment.

The Previous chapter in my life...in late 2010 (ish?), I quit my long time job because I expected a poor investment to pay-off. I moved in with my parents to help them renovate their home and await my financial windfall.Late 2011 i found stefans work and realized I was not the philosopher i thought i was and as time has gone by have been more and more realizing how much i needed to change about my life and self.in 2012 i accepted my windfall would never come and started looking to move out and get on with my life. in late 2012 and Having very little money I moved back to the city I had grown up in (where my old job was) and was going to help my best friend from youth start a business. within a month it was clear that business did not have a chance do to poor planning.So i moved in with my older brother to help him with a business he had just started, and to help with his newborn daughter. My Brother and i fought more and more and by july 2013 it was clear to me I had issues with my brother and we could not continue the business. ...(a couple months gap me staying with my best friend and trying to figure on my best course of action, during this time I let my father know that I have issues with him which he did not respond to very well)...My current state: i am almost 30 years old.I live with an Aunt and Uncle who know i am in a state of disrepair and are very supportive. They apply little to no pressure and we talk pretty often. They would like for me to start an Organic Farm for them on some old family land provided its something I really want to do (< they stress that point). They want me to take some time and gather myself. I keep a pretty regular schedule and help out around the house which they are very appreciative for.my Aunt is pretty liberal, she and i have a history of waxing philosophical. She has experience going to therapy and still calls in once a week, so she understands alot of the things I bring up from stef's podcasts and is very pro-therapy. She is finacially sound and willing to support me now and in getting back on my feet.She mentioned today that she would be willing to send me to her therapist, but I hesitate becasue I am worried i might offend her if I don't like him or think he's not right for me.My life goal that effects all my plans:I have spent so long trying to find out what the truth or a good person is that now that I have a glimpse i only want to know and live more. By the end of a decade of healing, living and learning I want to be doing what Stefan is doing, living a good life and doing all I can to share real philosophy and live off the donations that provides.My current plans:I believe i have come to some intersting perspectives in my solo-philosphy and want to write a book about it presented as the work of a dilettante looking to reform. I will have heafty disclaimers to avoid any from taking it as real philosphy simply a creative work. I would feel terrible if i thought i had sullied true philosophical efforts.i want to write a short auto-biography; this will assit my therapist (when I find and go to one) and will be presented as a companion to the first book, to assist one in understanding how I cam to the conclusions that I did and why i failed to reach the philosophy i know I fall short of in theory and practice.I have told my Aunt and uncle of these plans and that if I found I was not making steady progress I would abandon them. I told them in the mean time I would look into Organic farming and think about whether I wanted to do it or not. They support me in this decisionOrganic Farming: I am looking into it and while I could see myself enjoying a life farming I have doubts about whether it could be self-sustaining, whether I can run a business, If they risk their money and time I don't want to let them down. Alot of it i find pretty neat, especially when it comes to aquaponics and keeping heirloom genetic strains more avaialble. I approach it from a luxury item perspective, not claiming with certainty that its better for you. I would also plan on expanding into fermented canned vegetables for (what I feel) are legitimate health reasons. But I have some doubts about whether Organic farming is good for the world:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5amLAMRQk5IPost writing/farming plans:whether I take up farming or get a normal Job I plan to Keep records of my progress of self-repair and share them with this community for any who are curious about humanity and to watch a timeline of self observation / repar. I feel the Auto-biography would be a great companion to this effort.when I can afford it, find and go to a therapist.eventually (while holding down a self sustaining career), i will start a blog/webpage that tracks my journey from reform-dilettante to philosopher. I will know I am a philosopher when i live and have built a life around my knowledge of truth.Here are some questions I have,Is it right that I live off of them while I pursue what seem to be flighty goals?I know i am avoiding a normal 40 hr work job/life. I know I do not want that If i can help it.i have never completed a large personal project in my life (I see this as a reason to abandon my writing goals).But I truly feel I have some valuable perspectives to share and even if its not well recievced I will have something to share with others i care about, the culmination of 30 years spent conflicted and relying on no other perspective but my own.Is Organic farming actually good for the world? even if it is not healthier simply because its luxury demand?How do i know that i want to be a farmer and not just avoiding a normal job?right now I keep myself on a pretty regular routine, I average a pack of cigarettes a week (if your not a smoker that is minimal smoking, most average a pack a day). i keep little notes (self observation) through out the day just to bulid up the habit and plan to find a recommended curicullum of journaling and note taking. Thank You very much to any who reads this novel much less comments on it. I have recieved so much from Stefan and this community and made my first donation today, only $15.I plan to add what I can at least once a month till i have a reliable income and can set up a regular amount.

Hello DaisyAnarchist,Thank you for replying, I am really glad you found my introduction interesting. I would have posted more by now but I am trying to think of a way to do so that would allow access to only those I permit. I want to be free to talk about sensitive details with people I trust and I don't want a prospective employer or someone with mal-intent to find my posts and have them come back to harm me. I expect to spend alot of time in the chat room but I do not want to have to catch every new person up on my details and I would like to have a page I could refer them to. I have heard of blogs with passwords but I have not found one. Though, you saying there are alot of us trying to piece our lives together reminds me of one reason I originally wanted to go through my self-fixing process here. So that others could watch and perhaps find something useful from it. In order to do that I kinda have to bare myself publicly. Is there a way I could petition as admin to allow me to change my username to something a little more anonymous? I can change my real name in my profile, but my username (Jarrod84) I cannot. I also need to see if they can allow me to edit out the use of my full nam in my original post.I wish I had thought of all this before I began posting here

Thank You, Joseph.

Hello Free Domain Radio-ers, My name is [a super secret] and I am very exited to get started with this community. First and foremost I would like to say thank you to everyone who participates in this community and makes it possible, all the way from Stefan and his family to the people who help the media projects behind the scenes to the bread and butter who inhabit these glowing halls of intellect. So, about me. I am 29 and up until about a year and a half ago I thought I was the only person on the planet who thought as I did and to such a critical degree, I also had an irrational ego . Due to some particular experiences growing up (the details of which I will discuss later) I was always anti-authortarian and as I grew older I only developed to be more of an anarchist. By about 15 I had rid myself of the majority of christianities influence on me ( my freeing conclusion was: "I there is a god he put me here with five senses and a brain and nothing else to tell me how to behave so its on me to decide" ). In about the last 6 - 9 months I have made the transition to Athiesm. As I developed I never really listened to anyone or any source. Quite strictly If I did not originate it, it could not be trusted. This has had two profound impacts on me; first I dodged alot of social conditioning and learned to think for myself, second, I missed out on treading the path of the intellectual giants that came before me. I read books and studied great thinkers and ideas but my ego and insecurities were so out of whack that not only would I regard a classic philosopher with skepticism but also from a self-declared position of superiority. When I found Stefan and his work I was just blown away at his integrity, consistency, critical thought, and general philosophizing. I remember the feeling of relaxation that came over me when I accepted him as a credible thinker, I alone did not have to solve all the worlds problems and explain everything. Being able to trust him (and now others within specific intellectual contexts), I can really work on fixing myself, at this point I really need to, I have let my life fall to pieces over the past couple of years...My main motivation for joining Free Domain Radio is to get an objective perspective on my life as I am prepared to make some large transitions. My life has been unstable due to choices I made in the past and I am in the position to change things now mainly only because I am armed with new perspectives and information. Whether I go on to continue relationships I had in the past or not, voluntary in origin or not, I am ready to decide. But I do not want to do something so important haphazardly and I do not want to run from things I should hold myself more accountable for. Ultimately It is on me to determine the right answers and methods but I would really like the help of the folks here to just get some extra perspective. Thank you very much for reading my intro and if you have any advice for how to conduct myself in this community that I cannot find in the forum guidlines i'd really appreciate it.