bootoo

If someone is acting in a way that is NOT in their best interest, you can assume stupid or sick, in this case clearly not stupid, so has to be sick Why are you talking about sides, blame and letting people of the hook? are you a cop trying to justify that drug war money that keeps your local PD afloat? Victim of the drug war propaganda = assumes all drug use is hedonistic behavior, blames and seeks to punish the person with the least power in the whole thing, the addict Look, the appropriate response is compassion. The points have been made that if you could buy your drugs from the drug store you might find a chemist or doctor who will direct you to the best drug or course of treatment for your ailment...if you have to use a drug dealer you may get the most addictive and most expensive drug he has to offer, and you dont know whats in it so it may kill you...just like if you were able to be open about your drug use you may find support from your family and friends..if you have to hide your drug use then your dealer may become your only friend...and sell you a bad product that kills you You need a hug? I got plenty to give!

Get some interesting reactions in the chatroom with certain topics. Think the forum would be a good place to discuss some of these in better detail. First principals, I believe the NAP is the way to go. I dont believe you should go to jail or die for not paying taxes or obeying your government. However the problem comes when i start to talk about people, the value of people, and how i would want to treat people in my imaginary post-state world I think humans are the most valuable thing on the planet. In my imaginary world i would like to be surrounded by the best possible humans. The book/movie 'Stress - portrait of a killer' with dr robert sapolsky and 'guns germs and steel' by jared diamond are very enlightening if you still think that all human achievement is down to the effort and will put in by the individual person. When you see the limitations of living in south america before oil (lack of livestock, lack of good protein sources) or the need to be in smaller more spread out communities to try to avoid malaria in Africa you will see why some societies are more advanced than others. When you look at the studies in 'stress portrait of a killer' showing that the closer you are to the 'poverty' line the more likely you are to develop sickness and disease...and you see the effects of stress on the mind in response to violence or the threat of violence (constant fight of flight activation actually makes you dumber, lowers your ability to reason or make a better decision) it makes it easier to take a compassionate approach to human beings. 'Standing on the shoulders of giants' is true, i once thought smart people were people that went and got degrees...i now know that smart people are those who go out and do the work that eventually gets put into textbooks and taught at universities. We owe so many people for everything we have, whether its the house you live in or the advances in construction that have you warm and insulated but not dying of cancer from asbestos poisoning. I think there is a way to get smart, happy, healthy, community minded people....and then there is how 'we' (they) are doing it, creating angry unhealthy selfish zombies. Here's the lefty problem.... I say 'If i ran a company i would want to find a way to offer everyone who wanted it, from the cleaner to the chairman, access to education and healthcare for their whole family' Or i say 'If i was financially secure i would like to farm and give the food away for free to people who don't have any' Or i say 'if i was rich i wouldnt hire someone to clean my toilet, i would hire someone to clean the toilet of someone curing cancer to give them more time to work on the cure, or i would hire someone to cure cancer' Or i say 'I wish there was an option other than 'starve and die' so that people didn't just get jobs to pay the bills, their engagement and the quality of production is terrible if they are just trying to get a paycheck, there would be no drug war or war in iraq if people had another option' and also 'Let the losers stay at home if that's what they want, sitting around watching daytime tv and taking drugs is no long term solution to find peace and happiness, however if they would rather do that than be at work let them, that way i'm not stuck cleaning up their shit all day when they jack everything up from their lack of attention or caring' In response to these immediately the 'left' accusations come up, i guess because this is the rhetoric used by lefties to justify taxing and spending and large government institutions...however I would hope all of these can be achieved without government, and i wouldnt ever want to force anything on anyone, i try to make it clear that these are what i would like to do, and not that these are what i would like others to do for me, yet the leftie accusations fly so what do you think? Am i a lefty in denial? Are these even possible in the anarchy system (i say yes, because without anyone to tell me what to do I can do what i want)? Does anyone else think they should care about the quality of their fellow man? Thanks!

On paying attention to attention....I think the 'be the observer' stuff is not to be taken literally, its just a trick of language to make a point that is hard to make. First you have to be aware that you have a wide array of things you can pay attention to. What you are seeing, what you are hearing, and what you are thinking are all examples of this, and all of these could be multiple things at the same time, thinking one thing while looking at another, listening to a couple of things while thinking of something else....our brains can do a lot. When they say 'be the observer' what they mean is, take note of what you are thinking about. Pay attention to what you are paying attention to. I think by doing this you are saving it to your conscious memory. When you can start doing this you start to notice your habitual patterns and other patterns about your life. This is being aware of the contents of your consciousness. If you find yourself singing mcdonalds jingles and relating 'thirsty' to 'coke' then you may see the value of taking charge of the content of your consciousness (or the value of billions of dollars of advertising) The infinite regression...to try to talk about conscious awareness if you can imagine just for fun you have 4 computer monitors in front of you, one showing everything you see, another showing a story from your past that has been triggered by what you currently see, one showing a simulation of the near future (planning), and the 4th showing boobs. I believe just paying attention to the boobs would be normal, and the rest just wouldnt registered. However if you were to look at all 4 monitors or 'be the observer' all 4 screens then have all 4 videos playing at once. At this point im free to look at the boobs if i want, but im aware of what else is going on. I am also free to notice that while the boobs are drawing my attention stronger than the rest it may not be the best use of my time or attention looking at them. and longer term, if i stop paying attention to the boobs so much they stop drawing my attention so much until eventually they stop taking up a monitor in my metaphor...or is it an analogy?

Ummmm...picture the scene, guy does what he loves for a living, he is rich, he has friends and family, he has access to everything our civilization can offer, he chooses to sit alone and inject drugs. If you see 'choice' there and not 'sickness' you may be a victim of the drug war I suggest you watch stefs video on the matter

http://www.mindfuleducation.org/mindfulnessforchildren.pdf

I would.... Support: cost as little as possible and make the rest available to support my child either now or saved for the future Access: Give my address, phone number(s) and email address(es) to allow access 24/7 I dont think you are violating anything by making a relationship possible. I dont think you can force it on her. Do everything you can from now to show that you are serious and you care about your daughter. That way if her mother is being a cunt and keeping you apart you will still be effectively prepared to help if needed, and can demonstrate your love for your daughter by showing all you have done in-spite of the cunt getting in the way

Interesting article talking about pro's and con's of this ''“Your ability to recognize what your mind is engaging with, and control that, is really a core strength,” said Peter Malinowski, a psychologist and neuroscientist at Liverpool John Moores University in England. “For some people who begin mindfulness training, it's the first time in their life where they realize that a thought or emotion is not their only reality, that they have the ability to stay focused on something else, for instance their breathing, and let that emotion or thought just pass by.” http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/19/magazine/breathing-in-vs-spacing-out.html?src=me&ref=general&_r=0

Not sure that my body is conscious in that way....more so think it is habitual thought processes i had continued from my childhood and through my teens into my early 20's....and to re-state, once you stop having the thoughts on purpose you stop having the thoughts, its not a continual denial, you have the thoughts less and less until you dont What do you mean by healing and stopping suffering? The action or event caused suffering in that moment, the thoughts of the event are causing suffering after the moment has passed, not having the thoughts is being healed isnt it? and again, the thoughts do not keep coming up New events happen in life and the same techniques can be used to get over them, however if you are continually battling the same thoughts over and over you might have a problem if you are not battling the same thoughts over and over, but are living in them and suffering because of them, you might have a problem What would a person be avoiding? a memory? thats like saying im avoiding a TV channel by not viewing it...but I have no reason to view the reality tv channel as i get nothing out of it.... Its very easy to discern what a useless thought I do worry there is an idea that healing is a state of being that continues forever. I'm sad if this is any of your experiences. I am sure from my own experience that healing is something you do for a while, then don't do anymore because you are healed. Thanks again for an interesting conversation....I might have to give meditation a go again, sounds like you really dig it!

Im not sure you should learn to be alone Why not learn to be with people?

http://neurology.about.com/od/NervousSystem/a/The-Social-Brain.htm Friendship is hardwired, it helped us survive the ice age not sure about how real the word 'frendship' is - what is your question? in my experience everything is better with friends, my life has meaning and purpose because i have friends to think about and to care for

I think we will lack information about almost everybody else to be able to make a fair comparison and will fill the gaps with projections of our own insecurities and all I try to compare myself to a higher ideal I have noticed my ability to accurately assess other people has improved since comparing THEM to the higher ideals rather than comparing to myself

No need to read things to your kids just because they were given as gifts or were in the store in the 'childrens' isle choose with purpose what to read to your kids. For example: The biggest thing you are doing it helping them develop their language skills, I would not recommend reading 8000 versions of clifford the big red dog on rotation every night then its just a negoation of 'what will my child sit through' against 'what is worth reading'

my man Dr Chris Ryan has some criticisms of pink in his 'sex at dawn' book, the analogy he used for a ted talk pinker gave about violence in pre-agriculture societies was like saying 'asains are violent' and using studies from 6 south american countries and russia as your example I still like pinker and follow him on twitter, but like everyone i dont take everything he has to say as gospel. Humans gonna human! not even intellectuals are perfect eh

supposes that damage or suffering are wrong or imperfect....suggests a state of permanence is right Heres a philosophical example from fiction...on Dragon Ball Z if you dont kill the Sayain but just beat him, the worse he is damaged the stronger he will be when he recovers - what doesnt kill you makes you stronger...except a heart attack eh....DRAGON BALL Z philosophy YEH!

About childhoods... How to be successful NOW - healthy diet/exercise, healthy information diet, purpose, autonomy, mastery, participation and community/family...im sure there is more but thats a pretty good list for this example You do not need to look into your memory banks to get better in any of these Now, acknowledging that perhaps your lack of care regarding your diet may be because your childhood left you not putting any value in your self worth, and you can get the weight off your shoulders that you are not responsible. AH that feels good. Now back to my diet....no more childhood thoughts required to get back on that Relationships, perhaps i am noticing that a lot of the anti social behavior and thoughts im having are just patterns learned from my dysfunctional family. Ah, nice, another weight off my shoulders, i am human, i am a living breathing response to my environment. Now, how SHOULD i treat people? What could i do to have more successful interactions with people? If you find yourself unable to get on a better diet, if you find yourself unable to have better relationships pay attention to what you are paying attention to. Are you still just watching the picture show of your childhood over and over again? Why? Would it be better to learn about nutrition and relationships and go try it out? or is your time better spent thinking about past actions and how things SHOULD have been, or how you would act now if you went back...how many times do you need to view the source of the problem? Other than to stop blaming yourself (which is causing yourself unnecessary suffering), what good IS going over your childhood traumas? I didn't think i had a choice in what i think, and really, i don't, but i do have influence over what i think - as described above - and there are useful thoughts and useless thoughts, i want to empower the useful ones and not give anything to the useless thoughts. Occasionally i still sing the teenage mutant ninja turtles theme song from the 90s in my head, i make no effort to stop this thought because why not? however I make every effort to not think about the humiliation of wearing school clothes 2 or 3 sizes too small because whiskey is more important. why? Because theres no need to be sad about it now, and my body cant tell that theres no danger it just responds and floods my system with stress hormones, and the more you flood it the less you can do about anything! Regarding your post...you seem to have missed that i am saying i dont have these problems anymore, but its interesting that you say 'seek therapy' and 'acknowledge it, find the source, set a long term plan to fix it' - I acknowledged that the problem was thinking useless thoughts, the source was i had mis-identified habitual thought processes as intentional, the long term plan was to properly identify the thoughts and choose conscious intention. When you say 'get a new job' or 'renegotiate' or whatever else, it seems you are saying 'change the world' - not many people are in a position to do that....

Interesting... So back to my examples, it seems you are saying its completely worthwhile to rage at the phone call and be ready for a fight, when there is no fight to be had. Rather than drive home and appreciate the scenery or the song playing on the radio its better to sit and regret what i did in the past. And taking action to lessen these is lying to myself? Too expand a little...It seems you are saying its better to bring the stress and frustration of my work day home with me even tho there is nothing i can do while at home to make a difference in what happened or whats going to happen at work. It seems like rather than sit and pay attention to the movie it is better to pay attention to the memory of how much of a struggle childhood was for me and my brothers. The results of what i am saying give me greater control over the duration and even the triggering of my fight or flight mechanism, it stops me from spraying stress chemicals throughout my system for silly reasons like 'while not putting me in any danger at all a guy is terrible at driving' or 'when i was a child i ruined my brothers birthday surprise'. Suffering has real physical and health consequences. Constantly thinking about thoughts can lead to delusion and isolation/separation from reality. I dont need any mystical idea of better, I think 'better' is just getting closer to making sure my life is the most appropriate response to whats happening. Things are always changing. I always learning more. my idea of better is always in need of updating. If instead of paying attention to whats happening IF im just re-running old clips and suffering because of them I cant see how that would get me anywhere. One last note - you arent suggesting that every thought and emotion IS Worthwhile? I think about eating mcdonalds all the time, that jingle instantly makes me think 'FRIES'....thoughts and emotions can be played like a fiddle, there are people in my family who would be happy to see the middle east turned to glass in a nuclear explosion. What good is that thinking? Sure i get angry when i see a guy hack another guys head off...and there are people who want me to picture the towers falling and the head being hacked off and feel the anger everytime i hear the buzzwords 'TERRORIST' and 'MUSLIMS'. Of course these people are just playing us for their own ends. Surely you would want the skill to be able to filter out the bullshit? Paying attention, close attention, and only empowering worthwhile thoughts is a way to do this.

I'm not sure about 'shutting down' 'suppressing' or 'repressing' anything - I can see how it appears thats what im saying....I believe the process is when the thought in question appears if you see it through you end up strengthening the thought itself and the connections to it, making its more likely to come up again in response to a wider range of triggers. Of course the opposite, by recognizing it but not seeing it through, but instead paying attention to everything else going on the memory is weakened and you will have the thought less and fewer things will trigger it. If there is a GOOD reason to have the thought, have the thought! keep that trigger strong. Speaking of suffering, another thing just paying attention showed me was how much time i was spending trying to distract myself from the feeling and thoughts that caused me to suffer. As soon as i was aware of that i would purposely STOP reaching into my batman tool belt of distractions and just let the suffering happen to see how bad it is. The best metaphor i can think of to explain what i found out was....I was taking a pill to manage symptoms of a poor childhood and a selfish misguided early adulthood which had its own set of side effects....when i stopped taking the pill i realized not only that the symptoms are not NEAR as bad as i remember they WERE, but most of them just dont exist anymore! I was letting my addictive/habitual/unconscious behavior run wild and justifying it afterwards by saying its a good response to my sucky life...only my life doesnt suck anymore, its pretty good! So i stopped taking the pill

Think i need to be a little clearer I am on the phone at work trying to help a guy out, the guy is telling me i suck and all his problems are my fault in the most violent vile way, he is speaking over me and wont let me answer a single question, my face is red, my teeth are gritted, my hands are shaking, im ready to punch this guy out...but wait...this man doesnt want to fight me, i am in no danger, why am i ready to physically fight? two or three deep breaths.....the truth is the guy on the phone is old, he doesnt understand what he is doing, anything he is doing, he has been past around by idiots who also dont know what they are doing and need to be ordered directly and exactly to be effective...this man cannot be enjoying himself, he clearly doesnt want to be yelling at a stranger at the other end of the line, he wants his problem solved...two or three deep breaths, hands arent shaking, im relaxing, i dont want to fight this guy Another example I am sitting in traffic driving to work, and old song comes on that i remember, following the trail of thoughts i think of a girl i used to know, i remember how horribly i treated her, i physically CRINGE as i think about it...then i stop, wait, i havent been that person in years, i havent and would never treat someone like that again, why am i sitting here suffering for something i cannot take back, have learned from, and have not repeated since? So i just look around, look at the cars around me, see what the people are doing, look at the sky, see what draws my attention.....and im calm again I think there are very good reasons to experience negative emotions, i think there are very good reasons to think back and analyse your past. But there are a lot of BAD reasons. I tried meditation, but i find it way too hard to sit completely still and do nothing, so thats why i dont say meditation, instead I call it paying attention. When im doing tasks that require minimal attention like driving or chores or my job its very easy to let my brain do its song and dance and fill the large part of my consciousness that isnt being used/stimulated by the task at hand, but instead of paying attention to that song and dance i pay close attention to the task itself and everything i can see, hear, how i feel - even negative emotions - and that includes what thoughts come up Interesting responses in here! This is a really good book http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Life-Your-Brain-Live/dp/0452298881

This community attracts people who had difficult childhoods. When speaking to some people in the chatroom and in these forums I see there are still people who might be unaware of a most liberating and freeing skill you can develop which is, ignoring useless thought I have been out of my mothers house for more than a decade, However up until a couple of years ago all it would take is a random memory to make me angry or upset about how i was raised. Sometimes these are triggered by communications with my mother, other times just through talking with my brothers. But most of the time there was no particular triggering event, i was just thinking about my childhood. At the same time i was sitting around mad at my mother and feeling sorry for myself for having to deal with the consequences of her (lack of) actions I had my own real life problems that i wasnt addressing. another way to look at it, Instead of enjoying the free time i had and making the most out of my freedom i was instead spending that time miserable thinking of a time when i wasnt free. The question is, whats the point? Well then i heard a metaphor that im about to butcher about human thought. A dog is running around in a field, the owner calls his dog back, on receipt of this stimulation the dog immediately turns and runs back to its owner, only on the way it catches scent of another dogs butt and is pulled out of the return command and is off seeking the source of the scent. Our brains are constantly letting out a ticker tape of thoughts and ideas, memories and predictions, often these are triggered by real world events that are happening around us, other times they are just things we always think about so fire strongly and draw our attention. I believe when we are sitting and suffering about past events that have no impact on current or future events we are the mindless dog just responding blindly to the strongest stimulus available in the moment. But we don't have to be. If you pay close attention to the content of your consciousness, either in concentrated sessions or throughout the day, you can learn to pick and choose which thoughts you empower by seeing them through, and which you dis-empower by witnessing but not participating in. At first i would just notice i was upset at a useless thought and have my internal voice tell me to stop and usually call me some derogatory term. 'Remember when you said that thing and blew the date 6 years ago?' 'Remember when you made that kid cry in elementary school?' 'Remember you wanted to do this and thought that was good?' 'SHUT UP IDIOT! WHY ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT THAT NOW?' I found myself getting mad at myself for having the thoughts. I dont recommend this . However with practice i would find myself aware that i was stuck in a thought earlier and earlier in the thought itself until now where chances are im not stuck in any useless random thought, im either deep in intentional thinking or im not thinking, just paying attention. Very Very rarely anymore do i sit and have thoughts of regrets or negative events randomly spawn in my mind. Another benefit is when my fight of flight is activated in times of anxiety or stress or anger I am able to breath deeply and clear my mind and usually be back to neutral in a couple of seconds. At first it took a walk around the block but now it just takes a breath. in the beginning a bad call at work could have me agitated all day! A bad result of my soccer time could have me miserable for a weekend! Suffering to Neutral in one or two breaths. Also through simply paying attention i have a much greater appreciation for people, for nature, for myself, I am more useful and productive at work, i am a better friend and companion. There are lots of benefits to paying attention in general, and not too many to being distracted by unpleasant thoughts of the past. Now i'm not saying your childhood or whatever trauma you may have suffered isn't the reason for your anxiety or whatever social or emotional issue you have. And you may find yourself constantly re-living or thinking of past events because you are constantly trying to seek understanding in order to work on the issues and get better. I understand a lot of people had it worse than me. However, what im talking about actually works, and there is good science backing it up too. Give it a try! as easy as just 'paying attention' sounds, its definitely a skill that has to be worked on - but the pay off is immense PEACE AND LOVE!

Mayo Clinic - guide to the first year of your child's life Desmond Morris - Amazing Baby

Ah, theres the good news, learn about the relationship you do have with the stars and atoms and whatnot When you can associate yourself with the universe, rather than just your body and your mind, it relieves needless suffering caused by neurotic thought traps Neurotic though trap example: I will no longer be able to achieve the positive emotional states experienced when interacting with my father If you could instead view the pain and suffering you feel as a measure of the quality of the relationship you had with your father there is no need to distract yourself from that suffering, you can proudly be with it, there is no need to go into the realms of irrationality and look to stories of angels to fill your time and make yourself feel better, just like when it hurts after a great work out - you can love the pain, and you can love the game, its completely OK to die, its completely fine to go back to being the universe! We have mostly been doing that this whole time anyway

I am neither a scientist nor religious, so not my way, but i see what you are saying What other poorly written iron age fiction other than religious books would you read to answer question that science cant or hasnt answered yet? How about modern day fiction? Would it be a good idea to read comic books to find answers that science hasnt gotten around to yet? How about Scientology? I am much happier with 'i dont know' and draw conclusions from my own experiences rather than filling all the blanks with some other guys imagined reality

sounds very religious-y requires either decades of study and testing, or faith in those studies and tests and trust in the prophets that spread the good word! so before he was your father he was one of your grandfathers cells and one of your grandmothers cells before he was either of these cells he was atoms created in a star, which exploded and spread out through space before coming back together in the form of a planet which eventually gave rise to your grandparents, and the 2 cells that became your father before he was the atoms in the star he was fields of energy For a while he held the form of a human, but most of the time he is busy doing everything else Have you played the association game? what do you think you are? if you didn't have your arm any more, would you still be yourself? how about both arms and legs, would you still be you? what if you lost your memories, or your ability to form more memories? You can play this game out and arrive at some interesting conclusions - can make things like death and change a little easier to process and live with

Sorry for your loss. I lost my father 5 years ago to Cancer I feel terrible for you that you feel 'thats it' and feel like you'd be comforted by iron age fiction A very interesting line of inquiry may be to look at 'what' you consider your father to be, is he the stream of consciousness that he developed over his lifetime that you shared with him? Or is he 13.8 billion years of the universe doing its thing? how much of your father was his conscious actions or interactions with you and how much was he all the parts that are now going back into all the systems that create and sustain the universe and the planet? Science is not only much more comforting, its much more liberating Good luck!

They are mutually exclusive if you are doing them right