OtherOtie

I think the implication is that his parents are partly responsible for what happened.

Well, I'm not sure it actually has to do with age. Rather, it has to do with parental obligation. Because the parents chose to bring a child into the world, they are responsible for the child itself, which includes the host of obligations that we mentioned. I don't think that age is the difference maker. After all, we might imagine that a set of parents who never teach their child the practical and psychological skills necessary to be self-sustaining would still be responsible for their child even as an adult. The point at which parents no longer owe their children anything is the point at which they become self-sustaining, because it is then that the parents have fulfilled the extent of their obligation. If they never fulfill their obligation, then they are still in debt to their child.

It's impossible to pin down the exact age at which a child's development reaches a certain point, but that doesn't mean the difference between an infant and an adult isn't obvious to us. Also, (Stef can correct me if I'm wrong) but I don't think he would argue that it's our relationship with our environment that changes, but our relationship with our parents. Our parents are the ones who owe us nurture, security, and affection, not our environment. The environment isn't a person and thus has no obligation towards us.

Do you mean Rodger's killings? I haven't really gone too deep into it, but from the two videos I've seen, I'm not sure. If he's misogynistic, it's hard for me to distinguish that from his general sociopathy. He seemed to be infuriated by both men and women for different reasons. I wouldn't defend him on the charge of misogyny, but it's clear to me at least that his murders weren't motivated purely by that. Feminists seem to want to paint it like this guy went out to kill a bunch of women because no one would have sex with him. I don't doubt that's the cover story, but there are a lot of lonely virgins out there who would never in a million years commit this sort of atrocity. EDIT: Upon further reading it does seem as if he's a misoginist, as he claims that women are flawed, incapable of reason, and should be quarentined like a plague.

Can you believe this? http://bellejar.ca/2014/05/24/elliot-rodger-and-men-who-hate-women/

Yeah, the feminists continue to disgust me over this. They're trying to paint it as if it was a crime motivated by pure misogyny, as if every hopeless virgin male has the potential to shoot up a bunch of sorority girls. Nevermind the clear sociopathy, narcisism and god-complex. It was rape culture and patriarchy. This is why we need feminism!

Pretty good summation, but I wouldn't use the "I am dead" example, since it isn't logically contradictory in the same way that other such statements are. After all, we have notions of ghosts and spirits and what have you, so the dead could, in principle, speak. Your second example about the typewriter is much more appropriate, I think.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ui8CGbrv6lE

I don't think it's inherently sexual in nature. It's probably a cultural thing.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/series/iot

You're the man.

It's bothering me! http://imgur.com/B3Y4bwu

Wow, that's really cool.

I was really interested in it until I heard it was subscription based. I guess Jeff knows what he's doing, but I dunno... Not really ready to shell out a monthly subscription for a brand new community that has never before been tried. I wish there were some free trial offered, or at least sections of the site that were open for the general public. If you signed up, let me know how it is! Edit: I know there is a money-back guarantee, which I guess is effectively a free trial, but to be honest I'd feel bad asking for my money back since I'm sure it's a great site.

I don't think it's quite the same; the fact that soldiers generally carry out the will of some higher commanding authority makes the difference. The critical question is whether the soldiers carry out that will voluntarily. But I think in general it's a bit unfair to classify all soldiers as murders. Certainly many are, especially in American society where there is no draft. Still, I think there is a very clear conceptual difference between a murderer and a soldier.

Torrrent sounds like an excellent idea.

Sorry if this has been posted before (had a bit of trouble searching for Mr. T on the forum...) so let me know if it has. Anyway, this is a video of Mr. T's speech at the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony. He was supposed to give a speech relevant to the ceremony, but instead proceeded to give a 20 minute long sermon about his mom. It's quite the spectacle... and may just be the epitome of family propangda. Definitely worth a watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njAEaYL1PXY

I can't stand Wendy Williams' show. It's such an echo chamber of vapid stupidity and shallowness. Not at all surprised by this. Any one remember when Penn tried to bring rationality onto the show? Poor guy.

Hey everyone, I've been thinking a lot lately about my relationship with my younger brother, and one thing that's sort of stuck out to me is a few instances of bullying that occurred on my part. I never thought I was malicious, but looking back on it I feel regretful towards some of the things I did and said to him growing up. I'm only five years older than him, so all of this was during my childhood as well. I remember playing the part of the torturous older brother. It wasn't a constant thing, but once in a while I would slip into that archetype. There were certain things that scared him (something from an episode of Spongebob, in particular) and I remember finding it hilarious to lock him in a room with that playing on the VCR and watch him freak out. I suppose it was funny to me because I thought it was silly how an episode of Spongebob could cause him to react with such fear, but looking back, it was really monstrous of me. On another occasion I got him to play one of those online maze games that end in a screamer, and he was traumatized for about a month (and probably longer), and I found it hilarious at the time. Again, really fucked up on my part. Another time my cousins and I were playing with toys or something and since he was younger he kind of bogged us down since our imagination levels were a few years ahead of his, so we sort of excluded him. At which point we found him crying upstairs talking to himself saying "what did they do to me" and weeping. At the time we all found this hilarious and it was a running joke for years. Now when I look back on it I consider it heartbreaking and I want to go hug him. I've also called him fat or chubby or insulted his weight during arguments when I was around 13 or 14. He's not fat at all anymore and is actually in more shape than I am, but that's incidental. I shouldn't have made fun of him for those things. Most of the time our relationship was very close and we had many laughs and spent a lot of time playing and watching cartoons and so forth. But in the past few years we've grown distant and I feel this shame around him. I didn't know why until I started recalling all of this, and I feel that it may be part of the issue. I have no problem saying that those things were wrong of me, but the problematic part is the following... First, I'm not sure how much responsibility I could realistically take for the way my childhood self behaved towards my younger brother. After all, I was still quite young, yet I feel responsible. Second, I don't feel like I can really apologize because I don't know how much my brother actually consciously knows that I've wronged him. I feel that if I were to bring it up, he would basically just laugh it off and consider it just a series of funny jerkish things I did to him back then. But it's really more significant than that - I just don't know if he knows it, and he might not appreciate the apology if he's not even aware there's a wound. Any thoughts?

That is true. But I'm fairly confident my mom only says those things out of habit, because that's what her parents would have said to her. She seems to be able to see that they're wrong upon reflection. She did throw several excuses at me but it only took five minutes for her to acknowledge that they were excuses, which I take to be a decent sign. I've heard stories about conversations about parents who would throw excuses out endlessly. But I'll have to talk with her some more...

First I should say that it's just occasional gifts like on birthdays and Christmas. That said, several reasons. 1... it's hard to reject money just from a self interest standpoint. I'm not about to reject two hundred dollars. 2... the money comes in the mail so to reject it I would have to contact and see him, so I'd essentially be paying to see him. Which doesn't sound like a great deal to me. 3... it just feels rude.

It is possible, but I don't find it inconceivable that he has feelings for me. I don't really know. I'm going to find out. I spoke to my mom and told her how I feel, and she apologized for what she said to me yesterday and acknowledged that it was wrong of her and she shouldn't have sprung that on me. She also apologized for making the mistake of marrying my father and having a child with him without knowing he was an alcoholic. I feel optimistic that restitution is possible with her. I think I will speak with my father to find out if the same is true of him.

Therapy, I doubt it. I'm sure he is sorry on a very superficial level, but I don't know if he even understands the gravity of the damage he caused enough to be truly sorry. I think he is just reaping the consequences of choices he made in the past and now it isn't so convenient. He's not heartless... I believe that he "cares about me" inasmuch as he hays feelings for me. But his choices and his lack of regard for my developing self were so catastrophic that I don't know that those superficial feelings are enough for me. As I say, I wish he had no feelings for me. I wish he were that type of neglectful father. But as far as I've always known, he does have empathy... it's just buried underneath so many shitty choices. Thanks to both of you for your compassion. I listened to that conversation at your suggestion and sadly I don't think it's as relevant to my situation as I'd hoped. But I did get a few nuggets of insight out of it (as is usually the case with Stef's podcasts), so thank you for recommending it anyway.

When I was growing up, my father was an alcoholic. He also had a temper. For almost a decade, my home felt like a battlefield for a war fought by raised voices. I was often sheltered by my mom to prevent me from being exposed to his drunken tantrums. Of course, I was still exposed. I still heard the yelling, the screaming, the verbal abuse. I was in the midst of it. I'm 21 now, and my father hasn't been a part of my life for… almost a decade. Now I am haunted by guilt. My father sends me money and texts telling me he loves me and he's always there for me, and I don't know how to respond. I can't respond. I'm paralyzed. I have anxiety. And I don't believe him. He came over today (a rare, rare occurrence) and my mom came down here asking me to go up and say hello. I told her I didn't want to, and she called me heartless and told me to have some compassion. She says he cries all the time. I have compassion. I feel terrible that he cries. But where was the compassion for the developing child who endured all of this trauma? Where is the compassion for the effects of that trauma? I told her this. All she said is that she endured worse from him, and even she still has a place in her heart for him. First of all, bullshit. She didn't suffer worse. I suffered worse. She chose him. I was a child. And even if it were true, her choice to see her abuser in no way compels me to make that same choice. Yet I still feel guilty. I still feel heartless. I hate that he cries. I wish he were one of those fathers that was uncaring emotionally as he is in action. Then I wouldn't feel so bad. I wish he didn't feel anything about me. I wish he didn't think about me. I can't shoulder this burden of having to offer emotional support for the father that inflicted more damage upon me than I could ever quantify. It's not fair.

Sadly I do not.