Benjammin

Just thought I would add that there is an FDR Facebook group.

Well it works fine for me. I think saying it's BS is uncalled for. It promotes whole food eating and is nothing like promoting smoking.

For me what worked was a Paleo diet. Basically just meat and veggie as much as you like. Cut out all the liquid calories!!! I would not be to worried about getting in to a strenuous workout until you can get your diet under control. Just try to walk a lot more. Oh and Pleiades has it right with the eating out. Chipolte is about the only thing worth eating out. I like to make big batches of seasoned ground meat with peppers and onions. Portion it out and throw it in the wave. Easy peasy! Good luck with your journey!

I think compliance was my goal. I have been attacked in the past for forgetting to properly appease my parents on given special days. I think I was also avoiding the most likely conflict of saying that I needed time to figure myself out while taking a break from the family. If this was a few years back I am sure I would have some other kind of story to tell.

Thanks again for your responses folks. I don't know that I have anything to really add but it's nice to hear empathetic responses.

Wonderful thank you for sharing!

No they restored her account last night. Now Kokesh's account is gone apparently.

disregard!

Well I think this is a big bummer. At least her youtube is still running. I realize that facebook can do whatever it wants. Wonder how to give feedback to facebook? What do you all think? http://www.christophercantwell.com/2014/05/07/josie-outlaw-banned-facebook/

I think you got ripped off then. :-) I also have no problem not using either drug. I do drink coffee as a choice not as a need. I know you have no reason to believe me but that is the case. http://hackaday.com/2012/01/01/making-pure-caffeine-at-home/ This was interesting. No wonder you can find caffeine concentrated.

They make moonshine to avoid the tax. Also more potent product.

Why is it that caffeine users should think twice before saying that drug use is bad? Do you think caffeine allows you to disassociate from reality in the way other drugs do? Not saying I disagree just looking to understand your reason behind this post. I watched this a few days ago as I am subscribed to AVTM.

Thanks for the response everyone. I just want to post that I have read everyone's response. I am not sure yet where to do with this but will continue to ponder.

Corpus mentium Thanks for your response. I am sorry that you are in the same situation. Sounds like you were more proactive in informing your FOO of your intentions than I was. I am really sorry to hear about the situation with your sister. I just found out this week that my younger sister is pregnant. This makes me quite sad and concerned. I called her and talked to her about some of my concerns. I asked her why did she decide to have a baby? The first response was “I don’t know”. This made my heart drop as I was pretty sure that this would be the answer. We talked about it a little further and then I got the story of well I was on the shot and then there were some problems, I did not even ovulate and the well you know the end result. I tried to broach the topic of understanding the bad things we were taught as kids and that we don’t want to pass that on to our kids. Asking her to take some time and look in on yourself. I also made a point to ask her to think about not hitting her child. She asked me what about spanking? I informed her that spanking is hitting. The next question from her was how am I supposed to punish then? I find I have my work cut out for me as it sounds like you do as well.

Thanks for the input folks!

I was not involved. She came to that assumption on her own. I totally agree about the explaining myself comment. I was a bit shocked. Then again this is exactly the behavior I expect. Hence why I have never RTR'ed with her or my father. I honestly wonder if she had been drinking. I think I have listen to that one. I shall listen again.

Hi All, So I need a second opinion on messages that I received from my mother yesterday. I have to say that I felt relieved at first. I was thinking that I was right all along without even having to RTR with them. Then I got quite angry and felt the need to lash out with messages like “Who is it exactly that you think I owe and explanation to” or “Why should I explain myself a person who attacks me?” or “You know that I’m and Atheist right?”. The short story is that I have not talked with my parents since late October last year. My final visit I made it known that I did not want to be part of any gift exchanges with christmas. At that time I was asked if I was going to even come over for christmas dinner and at that time I was not sure. It turned out that I did not feel like going to any sort of gatherings for that holiday. The only contact I have had since is to text my mother happy birthday in February. I have not responded to a few miss you love you type text’s but this is the first time that the text has contained an outright attack. I was hoping to get more comfortable with my feeling before talking with them so I never sent a letter or went over for RTR. I am thinking the best response to the text would be no response. I know no one can tell me what to do but I would like to hear others reactions. I have not found anyone that I can really talk with. Thanks, Ben Text from Mother: 18:32 Do not know why you do not care about your family at all. Getting it your dealing with your situation. I’m sorry if we did something that mess you up. But it’s really sad that you do not want to have family so I really don’t know What more to say but sorry bye. You are always welcome my love bye. 18:52 Sorry if you do mot have the balls to explain yourself. 18:59 Sorry you cant even respond to easter invitations. These are copied exactly.Unless word's autocorrect fixed anything.

Ya sure you betcha. Good luck with your meet up.

Right one time only visit. He knows that there are many follow up steps but made no offer to assist. I also did not request any follow up directly. Happy to hear your dental woe's are worked out! Thanks for the discussion it surely helps.

For the most part he honored his commitment. I say for the most part because we did not specifically outline what his assistance would be aside from to help. In this case he was able to help me lay the tile. Then you need to let it cure for 24 hours. Last night I was cleaning up the mortar and laying down the grout. Which need to cure for another 24 hours. Tonight I will be finishing grouting and cleaning up after last night grouting. But I ramble here. I am sorry to hear about your experience with your father and J. The story about your father saddened me and certainly related to my own experiences with my father as a younger lad. It sucks that J was feeling so distant and un-empathetic when you talked to him. Can I assume that everything is going smoothly for him? Not that this would excuse his behavior but it might explain it. I shudder thinking of getting a tooth extracted. Was the root cracked? Hope you heal up soon!

Dsayers, I agree with you both that the response was less that lackluster. I probably guarded myself against that response because it exactly met my expectation. I tend to grant lots of leeway to folks as I know how hard it has been for me to start the process of real communication via RTR like methods. I was certainly talking to him about me. He has been with the same gal as long as I have known him so a major ex is not a thing he as dealt with to the best of my knowledge. If I were to hazard a guess I would say that he thought his response was a kind one or he gave it no true thought. Sagiquarius, On a side note your name is hard for me to type. Thanks for your reaction I can relate to it. As far as the project goes things went pretty well. My friend was quick to apologize again for missing the first appointment. I let him know that “it was OK” but that I was upset that he seemed to forget about it. I don't believe that this provoked much of a response from him. I have been trying to think of all we talked about since you responded to the post but I cannot say that it went further than just the news. By that I mean that he told me about the party dragging on late in to the night. Also the fact that my EX apparently did not even show up. He shared with me news about her that I would rather not have heard as it was not good for her and there is nothing I can do to help her at this point. I would have to say overall the conversation was mostly steered by the project. Tasmlab, Interesting. I can agree that they might be tedious. I am not sure if you were going for humor but isn't sadist a little bit extreme. All, Sorry but the slow response but I have been busy getting progress on this kitchen project. I have to say that it feels great to be finally be making progress on this. I am ashamed to admit that it started in 08.

Well my friend did reach out to me Friday to confirm plans for Sunday. He also apologized again for the missed date. I did talk with him about not going to his daughter's party on Saturday. I told him that is was not that I don't want to attend because of him or his family but that I do not enjoy being in the company of my EX. I asked him how he felt about me not going and he responded that people are going to do what they want to do. I think I am going to try and discuss this further with him tomorrow. It has been an up and down road on whether I should continue the friendship. I have indeed questioned myself on wither it was worth continuing the friendship. I have felt very used in the past but I don't know that it was intentional on his part. I also am very good at allowing myself to be used and not discuss my feelings. At this point if I did not see this friend for 60 days I would not necessarily miss him. I know this as 60 day has passed several times in the last year with no contact or want for contact from me. Thanks for the encouragement and dialog.

Hi Sagiquarius, The relationship with my friend seems to be a very superficial one especially recently. In the past it mostly revolved around drinking, fishing, assisting him on his projects and car club activity's. Before FDR I thought that this was the way that good relationships worked. In the beginning of our relationship we would spend lots of our free time together this was in the junior/senior years of high school. At one point he found me important enough in his life to make me his best man but I don't know that we have ever had a real deep or serious conversation. 14 years later, within the last year it has been little to no interaction maybe ½ dozen times. With the knowledge that this might be making excuses. He is obviously very busy as we all are with work and in his case he is raising a 2 year old with his wife. I do not initiate contact as much as I should for things to do as I was mostly used to being contacted when he wanted to do something. Calling people is something that I am not very good at, I just feel like I am bothering people a lot of times. I know that his home life as a child was pretty rough. Divorced parents, the ones he lived with were heavy drinkers. Probably lots of neglect and the idea of discussing problem was not allowed. The idea of discussing emotional topics is hard enough for me to work on but trying to engage uninterested others is even harder. I am certainly concerned that if I do not attend the party that he would not feel the need to help me Sunday. Thinking that it might be offensive to him not to go. Historically if I did not want to do something that he wanted me to do he would nag me until I gave in. Sometime this seemed like a good thing other times not so much. Last night I was feeling content in my decision. Today I find myself to be questioning my decision. I did decide to reply to the facebook invite last night saying that I would not attend. I know that is not a real good feeling description. I am still working on being able to put those in to words.

As the term is popularly used would it not be more truthfully said as social subjugation?

In this case I have nothing planned. Its not a conflict of my time problem. Its more of a is this something I really want to do problem.