A__

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4J6_tCy8To @2:40 A soldier says, "first time you shackle a guy, and I know 'cause I been there, you gonna shake. It's not 'cause you're scared, it's 'cause you're nervous." Aren't they the same and if so, why does the soldier express it this way? I think I may know but I'd like to hear from others.

I assumed "flick off" was an expression like "shrug off" but I stand corrected. By retreat I mean only deescalation. In other words, when confronted with an impossible situation where you can't withdraw physically, you can change the topic or, failing that, somehow appease the attacker. Of course this means avoiding any combative gestures or facial expressions. It's like putting a mask on. To be sure, it’s only a temporary tool. I used to do this often in my family but another problem was, I internalized the persona instead of understanding it was just a tool. As MMX2010 stated, helpful details are missing so I’m replying in regard to the gist alone. I’d be interested in other details if you’d like to share more. I think this is very helpful advice.

I appreciate the responses from everybody. Yes albeit it’s farfetched. One person can make a difference by taking a risk and speaking up. It could cause a chain reaction, a butterfly-effect. Doesn’t Copblock.org confront Grizzly bears on a regular basis? It spreads awareness. How do we measure steps away from slavery? I’m not sure. Couldn't his motive have been something besides anxiety? I'm very interested in hearing your experience if you wouldn't mind.

It doesn't automatically mean you hate her. You might just need some time to reflect on your relationship. It might do her some good too. Sometimes people need time to calm down especially when they don't feel ready or safe to talk. She can be the one to gently pursue you with apologies and interest in rebuilding a relationship with her brother. Attacking will not be tolerated in decent relationships. You have every right to retreat in any way you can until this is recognized and worked on. In any case, your father using shame as a tactic doesn't respect your capacity to reason. I wish I had more to offer. I'm sorry you're caught up in these emotional tornadoes and I hope you're able to stay calm enough for your own sanity until you can sail out of them.

The urge to smooth things over can be overwhelming, like a sweet siren calling. I've crashed on mythological rocks quite a few times myself. Anyway, I did not hear your call but it sounds like you're already steering toward a good course. I wish you the best.

You're walking down a crowded street when you happen to come face to face with a particularly evil political ruler. Do you take the possibly one time chance in a lifetime to say a little something? This happened with a friend in Manhattan: Bill Clinton was walking with a couple of body guards and my friend was able to exchange a few words with him, calling him out on a few of his actions loudly but calmly. Perhaps because this friend is quite tall, good looking and equipped with a strong voice, Clinton took notice and actually engaged, smiling and asking in his notorious slick manner "which countries did I invade?" which my friend answered adeptly and without hesitation. Of course Clinton denied the charges and with his body guards leading, slinked away. I believe it made a few people in the area take notice but I wonder. Political individuals who commit crimes legal and otherwise, who support torture and unecessary war walk freely and often proudly among us in broad daylight either unrecognized completely or for what they are and even get paid great amounts of money for public appearances. It makes me wonder what others would do or say, if anything.

What the hell! Amen!

Gross. Subtle things parents say about their kids like, "I wish I could keep them this age" is pretty telling too.

Welcome. I agree, there's some good stuff cooking here.

Having a relative or friend as a driving teacher really puts a relationship to a test. I don't like this "gets all loud about it and makes it worse" part as it indicates an underlying problem. After your lessons, do you talk about them? In the best case scenario, both of you could learn from these experiences and even bond closer over them. Can a nervous/abusive person teach one how to drive? Of course. It's so much harder though. Ultimately, unless you have a trusting, respectful relationship with the person teaching you, investing in a professional teacher is probably the wisest choice. If you can't afford a teacher, I suggest the above. It's really hard though, I know. I wish you the best!

I really enjoyed reading this post. I'm so glad you got in touch with your anger and it helped protect you. Awesome!

Dsayers raises a lot of important points and questions and offered some great personal feedback. Also, aren't your wife's actions as important as yours? As long as you two have conflict, your son will be conflicted. I hope you are working on communicating with your wife about peaceful parenting.

Truly disgusting. Wendy Williams is an epitome of trash television.

“No, we don't ever have time to speak.” This is false. “We just argue and both hate it.” See, you have time to argue. Why not put that time into seeing a couples therapist especially if you’ve “conceded your life to your kids, to make theirs as great as it can be”. Children are smart. They will sense even subtle tension: Lying to them will create trust problems and/or an inability to interpret the world around them. “At this point I am just fighting natural law, trying to make something work that isn't there.” It sounds like you just building a case to act on an impulse you don’t even seem to understand yourself. It sounds like your mind is made up. I think that's a good place to start as well.

Is this the one?

Interesting. Anybody see Ethos 2011? I came across just now while googling for more information about Woody Harrelson.

There's a reason you didn't want to debate religion and I wouldn't call it cowardice. Especially at work, earning a living. For most people working ie being trapped most of your waking hours in a place you'd rather not be, with people you'd prefer not to be with, doing something you'd rather not be doing is hard enough. Why make it even more difficult especially when there's no invitation, no glimmer of hope from those coworkers? It sounds like you tried though.

This is awesome. Excellent. Inspiring. The other comments here are great to read too. A million thumbs up!

Welcome. It sounds like you're on a good path. I'm interested in seeing the third movie as well. It's nice to know it's coming out soon.

That poor guy. It was incredibly heart breaking to read what happened to him but to actually see the video.. It makes it more real somehow. Thank goodness the video was recorded behind glass separated from those jerks with badges. You never know when a cop will get have some kind of an ego explosion and aggress against a witness. This is another recent video capturing what cops do: It's disgusting how many of them there are and how harmful they are to all communities.

Great topic, Reina. I can't think of the specific quote but it was something like "if people can abuse their own children, think how easy it is to abuse... murder foreigners" I'm probably paraphrasing it badly. I think it was a call in show with a former military recruit. I will try to find the exact quote. Edit: It's "All the other wars are just the shadow of the war on children" @ approximately 1:19 in Asshole Proximity Disorder podcast. Really good speech about children. So many good quotes.

I'm sorry you experienced that injustice. I think I can relate. It sounds like you have some unprocessed thoughts about things. Once in a while (less and less though) I'll get a flash of rage toward my mother now years deceased. I never got to confront her for all the pain and sorrow she caused. All the selfishness, negligence and abuse she inflicted. I can write more in a little while but I have to head out right now. I just wanted to say something quickly for now.

Wow that's like a happy fairy tale. I'm glad to hear about that and glad you helped make it happen!

Interesting, thanks for sharing the theory. That would be cool if it happened.

http://rt.com/usa/165692-bitcoin-silk-road-siezed/ It would be better for more 'law-abiding' Bitcoin holders if the confiscated coins were totally destroyed. This is certainly not a fair way to distribute the loot. And since the government basically stole it, why don't they just keep it? Curious.