kahvi

Great points. I know about the socratic method, but just don't have a lot of practice using it. It's time to start practicing. I know I have to say something because, like E. Burke said, "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."

That's a good way to handle it. Plant seeds of thought. Knowing her, she would just brush it off, "Oh, a little spanking from time to time is not going to hurt them." At that point, I would probably be cowed into not saying another word. My problem is that I never really learned how to argue on my feet. I was a pretty easy-going child and my mom did not tolerate disagreement. She was more of a "because I said so, " type mom. While I prefer that to beatings and beratings, I feel robbed of a critical tool. It's one of many things that I want to do differently as a mom.

Kudos to you for getting out and for thinking about this question ahead of time. I agree with the above responses. Always be honest with your kids and let them know that you want to spare them the horrible life that you went through. The people on this forum truly give me hope in humankind. I just wish there were more of us.

Hi everyone. I'm a newcomer here. This is more of a rant than anything. I found Stefan and this movement through his Truth About Elliot Rodger video (it sounds like that brought a lot of people here) and he has really struck a chord with me. I had already held a lot of the same philosophical views on life that he espouses, but especially on peaceful parenting. I started out using the Baby Book attachment parenting with my now 2 year old, but I think that term applies more to the first year. "Peaceful parenting" is a more appropriate term for what my husband and I do now. Fortunately, both of us came from parents who were against spanking, so it comes pretty natural to us. I've been listening to a lot of his call-in shows and I find myself in tears and in rage over what so many people have gone through as children. So many people think, "I'm going to raise my child the way my parents raised me." Why would you not even think to question or research the optimal way to raise a child? Why do so many people just stick to what they've experienced? Even though I feel I had a great childhood (there were a few bumps), even I want to be a better parent than my parents were to me. We've all got so much information at our fingertips and so many just fumble their way through parenting. I'm constantly analyzing everything I do. Just a couple days ago, my daughter was hitting me while playing and I tried to give her a time-out. Right away, I realized she didn't understand what I was doing and my husband agreed. We decided to try a different approach. We've switched to modeling good behavior for her. "Please don't hit mommy, sweety. Be gentle. Like this." I then take her hand and show her how to gently touch my face. It has worked wonderfully in just a couple days! I don't think that my most of my friends routinely hit their kids. Just one slaps her 3 year-old daughter's hand when she doesn't want her to touch something, and she's threaten to spank her in my presence, too. I'm wondering what others here would say to their friend if they heard them threaten their child with a spanking. She and I aren't very close, so I want to be pretty tactful, but I don't think I can just keep my mouth shut next time. Anyway, I'm really enjoying the forum and hearing different peoples' ideas. Stefan's shows are great. I'm coming around on the libertarian ideals, but I still have a lot to learn.

I'm assuming #2 is supposed to be parallel to a consciousness outside of ours that created everything just like we create things. This has always been a sticking point for me. We do not truly "create" anything for we use pre-existing materials.